Category: Discipleship

Posted on

BECOMING mature: A Practical Guide for Disciples of Jesus

We are super excited to announce that we have a new book coming out!! Whoopee!!! My latest book, Becoming Mature: A Practical Guide for Disciples of Jesus, will be released on April 21st, 2025!

If you feel like you are struggling in your spiritual growth journey or just not progressing as fast as you would like, then this book is for you. Becoming Mature offers a transformative approach to Christian discipleship using scripture, personal experience, and psychological insights to connect with the reader. Becoming Mature takes you on a step-by-step journey of growth in love, purpose, community, identity, responsibility, wholeness, resilience, competence, and most importantly, intimacy with God.

It’s available to pre-order now on Amazon. Get it here!

And since y’all are my peeps. Here’s a free preview of the introduction.

Introduction

If you can keep your head when all about you  

    Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,  

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

    But make allowance for their doubting too;  

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

    Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,

Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,

    And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;  

    If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;  

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

    And treat those two impostors just the same;  

If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken

    Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,

    And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

    And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

    And never breathe a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

    To serve your turn long after they are gone,  

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

    Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,  

    Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,

    If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

    With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,  

Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,  

    And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

~ Rudyard Kipling ~

As a young boy, Rudyard Kipling’s poem If (quoted above) made an indelible mark on my soul. Before I knew Christ, it embodied what I believed maturity would look like. It was the only poster that hung in my room, constantly reminding me of the man I wanted to become. It is no coincidence, I believe, that maturity has been an obsession throughout my life. In hindsight, it was a God-inspired obsession, a heavenly calling. God has given me more understanding since my boyhood days, both through divine revelation and through practical experience.

I would describe my achievements in life as mediocre. I have a checkered history where my personal relationships are concerned. Today I am happily married to a wonderfully on-fire woman of God, and we have a beautifully blended family of five children and one granddaughter. I attribute this outcome solely to the grace of God. (If you knew my story you would too, trust me.)  My children are good kids. I am very proud of the adults they are becoming but none of them are really on fire for God…yet. I have a successful career, currently holding a managerial position at a natural gas company, but I could have achieved more. I can’t say I have won many souls for Christ, nor have I any notoriety in the Christian world. There is only one thing that I have truly excelled at – inner work. I have a dogged commitment to doing the hard, hidden work of maturity.

So let me set your expectations straight upfront: This book is about the unglamourous, unheralded hard work of becoming like Christ that most won’t see and very few will give you accolades for, BUT it is THE MOST important work that you can do, and if you choose to put in the work, your reward will be great indeed.

Excited? Let’s start unpacking it with Romans 8:19 (NLT):

For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God.

It is significant that in this verse the apostle Paul used the Greek word huios (which is translated as ‘sons’). There are four possible words that he could have used. There is nepios which is a word used to describe an infant. An example of its usage is contained in Hebrews 5:13. Then there is paidion which is a young child as used in Matthew 19:13-14. There is also teknion which describes an adolescent or immature young adult. In the New Testament, it is often used by a teacher to refer to his disciples who have not yet matured. For example, in 1 John 5:21. Finally, there is huios. It is the word used for a mature son. It is the word used to describe Christ as the Son of God, and the word Christ used for Himself when he referred to Himself as the Son of Man.

Therefore, in the context of Romans 8:19, all of creation is not longing merely for more converts to Christianity, but for all the Christian babies, children and teenagers to grow into mature manhood and womanhood. This is what the world is waiting to see, and this is the cause that I have given my life to. My mission is to be an example, a catalyst and a servant in God’s glorious plan for maturing the Bride of Christ into absolute perfection, full authority and dazzling beauty of the fullness of Christ! I too, am eagerly longing for the church (myself included) to grow up into the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ. I hope it will happen in my lifetime, but even if it doesn’t, I will happily dedicate the rest of my years in service of this vision. Of course, this is not just my vision, this is God’s heart desire for His daughters and sons. He longs for us to come to maturity.

This mission is the reason for this book. My prayer is that you will find practical wisdom here that will help you grow in Christ. This is a book about the how – how we become mature. The contents are the gleanings of my journey toward maturity. I converted to Christianity as a teenager when I became a Roman Catholic through the Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults (RCIA). Then, at twenty-one, I became a born-again believer and got baptized (again) in a non-denominational church with Pentecostal roots. However, I did not begin to see significant growth in my maturity until my late thirties.

What was responsible for this acceleration in my spiritual growth? A God-encounter. Up until that moment I had experienced a lot of religion and a lot of behaviour modification but limited transformation. What I mean is, I was filled with knowledge about God and how a Christian should behave but I had very little (if any) change in my internal desires and motivations.

(To read about my testimony, check out my first book – Authentic Joy).

After my encounter with the liquid love of Jesus, I began to see a change in my life. This was not as a result of my willpower, but through the power of the Holy Spirit, fuelled by His love for me and my love for Him.

This is how it started for me. From that moment, I would meet with my Rabbi every morning with excitement to discover what He wanted to teach me each morning. That was over ten years ago, and it was just the first key to unlocking a life of transformation. On these pages, I will share with you all that I have learned from my successes and my failures on my life’s journey thus far.

Stay tuned for more sneak peek previews in days to come!

Copyright 2025, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.
Posted on

What Made Jesus Such A Successful Educator?

My good friend and mother in the faith, Dr. Patricia Morgan, challenged me today to answer this question. Here is my answer:

Jesus taught with humility and gentleness.

In Matthew chapter 11 and verse 29 (NLT version) Jesus makes this unusual statement, “…Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart…” If you want to teach someone, you have to be a safe place for them to make mistakes. Jesus understood this. In Jesus’ classroom it was acceptable to question, to doubt and to challenge. When I think of this aspect of Jesus, I think of His intense discussion with Nicodemus, the way he answered Thomas’ doubts and the many foolish outbursts of Peter. Nothing was below Jesus’ attention as the Messiah-Rabbi. Every question, doubt and challenge was an opportunity to teach. All that is required is a heart that is willing to learn, and Jesus will meet you where you are. He won’t be put off by your questions and doubts. He is patient, gentle and kind.

Self-examination: Do we, the Jesus-people, evidence this kind of humility? How do our leaders bear up under questioning? Are we allowed to question them? Is there even a forum where we can ask them questions? Pastors, how do we handle people challenging us? Do we have patience with our brothers and sisters who have doubts? Are we willing to sincerely serve (wash the feet) of someone who is stabbing us in the back?

Jesus taught from alongside.

Jesus, the author of all knowledge and creator of all things, left heaven, took the form of a servant and came alongside us to teach us how to live. The same verse in Matthew uses the metaphor of yoked oxen to describe how Jesus teaches. He bears our burdens with us. He walks through the ups and downs of life alongside us. Jesus didn’t just teach, He discipled. He allowed his students to get up close and personal to observe His life. Ever wonder why God Himself only had 12 disciples? Surely, He had more capacity? Maybe He was trying to show us something? Maybe there is more that is caught than taught? Studies actually show that we do not learn new behaviours from information, we learn through imitation. That’s how God created us. So, will we change our nations by only changing the information that we teach? My answer is no. At least not the kind of change Christ wants. If we want a Godly nation, then we have to have a Godly people willing to come alongside the people at the lowest point of their existence and live with them and love them.

Self-examination: Are we willing to walk alongside the poor, the sinners, the lepers, the tax collectors, the adulteresses, the homosexuals, the transgendered, the outcasts of our time? Or are we more comfortable throwing stones of righteous indignation and moral superiority over the walls of our gated communities and barbed-wire fences? Are we willing, like Jesus, not to cling to our privileges but give it up and take on the humble position of a servant?

Jesus aimed at the heart.

Often, we Christians see ourselves as combatants in a battle for cultural influence. We want to have more influence over what people say and do. We bemoan the prevalence of the LGBTQ+ agenda or the so-called ’one-world’ agenda or the liberal agenda and the list goes on. But I honestly wonder what Jesus sees. I think he sees people searching for love and I believe His heart aches for them to know His love.  Jesus doesn’t see a battle for truth, He sees a battle for hearts. And He is willing to do whatever it takes, even die, to win our hearts. Jesus sees beyond the lifestyle choices and beyond the things that we see. He sees the heart of a little girl that is desperately searching for anyone who would just love her without trying to change her. He sees in that seething, violent, teenager, a little boy that never felt safe.

The Jewish people in Jesus’ time must also have felt like they were in a battle to preserve God’s standards. This was one of the problems they had with Jesus. He did not join the battle. He refused to pick sides. He refused to join in the culture wars of shaming the sinners, shunning the tax collectors, avoiding the lepers and stoning the adulteresses. You see Jesus was not interested in creating a moral and orderly society. What He was after, is after, is far more amazing, far more wonderful, just far more… He is preparing a bride for Himself that is beaming with love for Him, without spot or wrinkle of heart. He is after heaven on earth.

Jesus is telling us that love is the prerequisite to all change. That’s what He told the adulteress. Neither do I condemn you – I’m not here to fight you, I’m here to love you. Now that you know that you are loved, go and sin no more. People with changed hearts, change their behaviour.

Self-examination: When we see people who are not living the way God intended, do we feel indignation or compassion? Are we trying to effect change in our sphere of influence through preaching at people or loving people? Are our efforts aimed at changing behaviour or changing hearts?

Jesus started at the bottom.

If we have a very top-down model for effecting societal change then we see education through the lens of equipping kingdom-minded people to function at elevated positions in society and drive change downwards. This thinking permeates how we set up our Christian institutions. We have lots of structure and hierarchy and rules to drive change downward with the power to effect change reserved for the elite few ‘leaders’. These types of institutions unknowingly create passive people by default. We expect to be led by the chosen few. We are actually building worldly systems with a kingdom label.

 Jesus did things differently. He created a grass-roots movement that rendered the old societal constructs obsolete. That is why they killed Him. He changed the rules! The Scribes and Pharisees had their brick-and-mortar bookstores, cornering the market, controlling the narrative, and Jesus started Amazon – giving any Tom, Dick and Harietta the ability to become a best-selling author! He took the power controlled by a few and gave it away freely to the masses.

To further illustrate the power of bottom-up thinking, let’s do some Math. If I were to open a university and graduate 100,000 new students every year, over 20 years I would have taught 2,000,000 million students. Wow! Wow? Let’s see… If I were to disciple and empower 10 persons every year who in turn disciple 10 every year, and so on, in 20 years we would have discipled 100,000,000,000,000,000,000 persons. That’s Jesus Math! That’s the power of the movement that He started with 12 disciples 2,023 years ago. In Jesus’ school, everyone has the power to lead. Really pour your life into a few people’s lives and give them the freedom and power to fulfil their purpose! Raising a powerful few is exponentially better than reaching millions en masse. Literally! I do hope we get this and stop measuring purpose by the number of people we will reach or deciding on speaking engagements based on how big the church (or YouTube/Facebook/Twitter following) is.

if we want to transform a society (aka disciple a nation) then we must employ the subversive methodologies that Jesus used. Our methods must teach us how to function as a body of equals. All are equally responsible and empowered to lead change. Matthew 23:8 (NLT) says, “Don’t let anyone call you ‘Rabbi,’ for you have only one teacher, and all of you are equal as brothers and sisters.” We must be creating a groundswell of disciple-makers aflame for God that we disseminate into the world like yeast or salt, setting ablaze everyone and everything they touch for Jesus!

Self-examination: What is our transformation paradigm? Is it top-down, imposing the ‘law’ from above, or bottom-up, inspiring people to become the best version of themselves? How comfortable are we in environments of low control and high empowerment? Do we measure impact in terms of how wide of an audience we can reach? Do we see purpose in a lifetime of high-quality input into a few?

Jesus taught with authority.

“…for he taught with real authority—quite unlike their teachers of religious law.” Matthew 7:29 (NLT). That’s quite a commendation and an indictment.

Jesus is described as having real authority. What is real authority? Or what is the authority that Jesus had that the religious teachers didn’t? I believe one difference between the way Jesus taught versus the religious leaders is that Jesus spoke about what He had experienced as true. He lived His message. The other teachers were students of the book – intellectual aficionados.

When Jesus spoke of healing, He made people well. When Jesus spoke of power over the enemy, he drove out demons. We Jesus spoke of the truth, He never told a lie. When Jesus spoke about forgiveness, He never harboured any malice toward anyone. The power to impact a life is not just in words but in demonstration of power. There is an impartational reality that our influence is only to the extent that our words are integral to who we are. Who we are being speaks louder than what we are saying. And I’m not talking about our track record here. A track record speaks to external accomplishments. 30 years of marriage could be an external track record or it could be 30 years of actively appreciating more and more about your spouse, learning to forgive more and more quickly, learning to ask forgiveness with greater sincerity, becoming more open and vulnerable, 30 years of deepening intimacy and faithfulness of heart. I’m talking about character of heart.

The real punch line here is this: When you have real authority you do not need to rely on institutional authority (like the Scribes and Pharisees). Today it is easy to set our base of influence on our position in an organization or our title or our reputation. That sets us on a path to gain greater influence through climbing the church ladder and accumulating titles rather than forging a life of deep character and fullness of the presence of God. Jesus is looking for men and women who will walk in real authority. Generals of character and intimacy with God. Such men need no commendations from flesh. The presence of Jesus in them is their seal of authenticity.

Self-examination: Has our talk exceeded our character development? Is the substance of our life authoritative? Are we full of Jesus? Are we focused on growing deep roots of character and intimacy with God below ground or lots of branches and leaves of titles and accomplishments above ground?

Thank you Moma Pat for charging me with this question. It has truly been a wonderful time in the presence of God writing this with Papa, Jesus and Holy Spirit. It has certainly challenged and inspired me in very profound ways. I have aspired to design my educational programmes with these principles in mind but there are deeper depths to explore.

I hope it is a blessing to others as well.

Copyright 2023, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.
Posted on

The Grace Of Failure

I’m my worst critic. I want to obey God. I want to make all the right decisions. Most of all, I want to love people well. Somehow, I do not live up to that standard on a daily basis. And sometimes, when I fail, I beat myself up about it. I had a particularly bad self-flagellation episode recently. I was teaching an online class about spiritual growth. I had given the participants an exercise to do and as one participant was sharing her experience with the exercise, I interrupted her to ‘correct’ what I thought was a misunderstanding of the instructions that I had given.

I went over that interaction in my head for days. “Why did I feel the need to interrupt?” “How could I have acted in a way that was exactly the opposite of creating a safe loving space which was the foundation of the whole course!?” I sank deeper and deeper into a depression.

After I had a chance to apologize (and realize that this was bothering me much more than it was bothering her) I was able to begin to see God’s grace in my failure. I was able to see myself starting the session that day with a cavalier air about myself. I had been doing the sessions for a while now and I was becoming a believer in my own expertise. I was losing the ethos of the ‘eternal amateur’ as I call it. I believe that great moves of God, great churches and great men usually start off in a place of ‘Oh God, we need you, we don’t know what we’re doing.’ That place of dependency is not meant to be a phase that we graduate from but a lifetime heart posture.

God blesses those who are poor and realize their need for him, for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs.

Matthew 5:3 (NLT)

God moves in the midst of and on behalf of those who live in the reality of their dependency on Jesus. We can do nothing Godly without God.

My failure was God mercifully letting me know that I had taken a step away from that place of dependency. I was becoming a professional. I remember how I prayed at the start of that session… I didn’t pray for God to help me. I prayed for God to help them. They needed help, not me. What a delusion!

If it takes failure for me to remember the mess that I am and my utter need for God, oh God please give me failure. When God begins to move in your life and the spheres that you inhabit, it is a seductive fantasy to buy into your own competence. I’ve seen it. I’ve witnessed the exit of God as man exalts himself to god-like status. I’ve seen mere mortals become THE man of God to the point where it is anathema to even remind his church members that he is just a man. I’ve seen churches buy into a ‘we are the chosen ones’ narrative to the point that they sincerely believe that no other church can steward God’s purpose like them. The thing is, this happened to sincere people who genuinely wanted God. They just bought into their own success.

Success is a strong drink. It can intoxicate the heart and distort reality. Failure has the potential to sober us up to the delusion of our competence.

...I have received such wonderful revelations from God. So to keep me from becoming proud, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger from Satan to torment me and keep me from becoming proud. 8 Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. 9 Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.

2 Corinthians 12:7b-9

Oh God, whenever I begin to buy into myself as the source of my success, please send me the grace of failure. I don’t need a reputation as a perfect Christian who has it all together. I do not want a reputation as successful in man’s eyes when I am not in Yours. I only want You. I only need You. I only want Your ‘Well done.’ On the days that I feel successful, please help me to remember that it is only by Your grace. And on the days that I feel like a failure, please help me to remember that that too is grace – an invitation to see You at work more deeply in my life.

Copyright 2022, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.

If you haven’t yet, check out our FREE Spiritual Growth Foundation Course in which we cover the four foundational principles for spiritual growth and much more! In addition to on-demand videos which you can watch at your leisure, there are downloadable handouts for those who prefer written content.

Posted on

EVENT: Spiritual Formation 201

Spiritual Formation 101 was a resounding success!

Together, we explored:

  • How we practically become more mature.
  • How our upbringing affects our relationship with God.
  • What it means to be an adopted daughter/son of God.
  • Tangibly experiencing God’s love.
  • The role of vulnerability in building intimacy.
  • Practices that build intimacy with God.
  • Barriers to intimacy with God.
  • What is our true identity in Christ.

The insights gained as we discussed these topics were invaluable. However, just as valuable (or perhaps more so) was the opportunity these sessions presented for like-minded companionship on our faith journey. For a little while, we shared our lives open-heartedly with our fellow travellers. My heart is still awed when I relive some of the moments we shared. It was an unparalleled honour for me to facilitate this sacred experience.

Therefore, it is with great anticipation that I look forward to Spiritual Formation 201 starting January 10th 2022! Formation 101 focused on the awakening phase of our faith journey. Formation 201 will focus on the processing phase of our faith journey. Front and centre will be topics such as:

  • The purpose of pain.
  • Thriving versus surviving.
  • Working from rest.
  • True identity versus false identity.
  • Emotional resilience.
  • Discovering your calling/vocation.
  • Staying joyful in trials.
  • Confronting shame and facing fear.

Expect to come away from this journey with insights and tools to feed your spiritual growth for years to come. More than that, expect to receive an impartation that will bring you closer to Christ and multiply your fruitfulness for the kingdom!

Once again sessions will be held via Zoom, interactive, experiential, and Spirit-led. We would be honoured for you to join us. And it’s FREE 🙂 Please click here to register: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1p3pe9eCm9_ZZYWNH7rfiutfNcCT_NeUmK4g0bUNH-L0/edit?usp=sharing

Joyfully,

Copyright 2021, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.