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Category: Holistic Living

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What I learned in 2023

I turned 50 in 2023! That brought a mixed bag of goodies and booby prizes.

Emotionally and mentally 2023 felt like my healthiest year ever! No exaggeration. A decade of steady self-work coupled with 4 years of work that my wife and I put into our marriage began to bear massive fruit last year. Covid was an accelerator in that it afforded me unforeseen levels of quality time with God that boosted my relationship with Him 10fold. It also accelerated (forced) the bonding between me, wifey, and our children as we spent months together working and learning from home. While I am saying that Covid helped and we put in the work, I cannot overstate the fact that God was the heavy-lifter here. Only He could do the amazing things in the hearts of our family members that caused us to knit together and only He could use a pandemic for our good! Mind you, it did not feel so rosy when these two families from St. Joseph and Paramin first moved in together! It was pressure but in 2023 the diamonds began to emerge.

Added to that, after being in one department for the past 18 years, a switch to a new area in late 2022, brought a breath of fresh air into my career as well. So with my wife and I being in a good place, the children excelling, the career taking on renewed life, and being involved in the fulfilling work with my wife of creating communities of love and belonging for Christians to grow, 2023 just felt like I was thriving.

While it’s nice to share celebratory reports, that’s not the main purpose of today’s blog. There were two key lessons that I learned in 2023 that I felt led to share with you.

Physical Health

2023 was my worst year ever for my physical health! Here the pandemic was not helpful at all! In 2023 I felt feeble (there I said it). Weight gained during the lockdown seemed to refuse to come off. In fact, I gained more! Injuries seemed to be taking forever to heal and for the first time, I considered that I may never be able to play football (soccer) or surf again. I had a fatty liver, high cholesterol, some kind of mystery dizziness, and shortness of breath. Things just seemed to be going from bad to worse. “Is this 50?” I asked myself.

BUT I discovered something coming down to the end…. I will never lose weight or stay fit doing activities that I do not like to do. I tried for the whole of 2023 to stay fit by walking and home workouts. I can get more out of group workouts but inevitably people workout to music that I don’t want in my head. So that’s a no-go. But last month I played football for the second time since before Covid and while I almost died, by the next day I literally felt my whole body become stronger. Overnight! Then I played again twice last week and the dizziness and shortness of breath are gone. So what I realized is that I need to do intense cardio activities and that’s only going to happen by doing things I love to do.

So in 2024, I will be making time for football and mountain biking. I realize that it is imperative that I have intense cardio workouts. Walking and home workouts are not enough for me to stay fit. I will be prioritizing this over work and ministry.

Folks, I know we always talk about prioritizing our health but I’m encouraging you again, especially my fellow pastors and professionals, the work is not more important… the seminar, church service, or feeding the poor programme is not more important. Also, take the time to know your own body and what works for you. Do what you love, it’s far more sustainable!

Relationships

God had me focusing on relationship-building for all of 2023. Mainly with my close and extended family and I learned something invaluable: God’s grace flows through our connections with people. The word that was the icon of what God was after in my life was CONNECTION.

It involved me having discussions with my mother about things that happened in the family when I was a child and not dismissing her perspectives so quickly. It involved me apologizing to my boss about the way I gave him some feedback, taking the time to explain my heart’s motive, and assuring him that I was for him not against him. It involved me building bridges with coworkers by genuinely finding and celebrating their strengths and offering tangible assistance in achieving their goals. It involved trying to understand my sister better and building bridges instead of taking offense. It involved being quicker to remove any distance between my wife and me. It involved taking a softer tone with my ex-wife. It involved walking in my children’s shoes a little more.

The result was that I saw God’s grace at work in my family and workplace more than ever. It crystallized something very clearly for me. God is not doing something over here and we are doing relationships over there. The vehicle for God’s grace to flow is the love connections between each other. The stronger the connection, the more of God’s grace can flow in our lives. If I want to see revival in my family, I have to build stronger bonds with my family members. If I want to see revival in my workplace, I have to build deeper relationships with my coworkers.

There is a depth of relationship with each other, a purity of love and affection, that God has intended for us that I do not think we fully grasp as Christians. I don’t think we have any grid for just how amazing and glorious it will look to live in unity. Nor do we understand just how much work it will take to get there. I am fully convinced that God is not interested in our programmes, seminars, conferences, and meetings apart from a foundation of building deeper relationships. So this year less is more. I’m cutting back even further on the ‘conversations’ that are just empty intellectual foreplay without any heart communion. I’m ditching even more of the online groups and social media where people share a whole lot of opinions and so little of themselves. I’m going deeper with fewer.

Here’s an added epiphany that I had: God does not need my help to fix people. I saw two people in my life begin to change and address things that I saw they needed to address for years. I dropped hints, I gave gentle advice, I shared relevant information and I obsessed about whether I was doing enough. But in His own timing, God showed them what they needed to see. Neither said that I had any role in their epiphanies. God was doing something in their lives. I laughed at myself. God doesn’t need my help. Well, I’m sure He uses my love and my prayers but beyond that…

So my second encouragement to you is to prioritize a few significant relationships this year and really work on them. Don’t try to be a better person in a general sense. Try to be a better mother to a specific child, a better friend to X, a better husband to your wife… But most importantly, do it from the point of view of just trying to build a stronger connection between you and them. Seek to understand them better and help them to understand you. Seek to provide any support you can to their growth and success (as they define it, not you) without expecting anything in return. Petition God for blessings on their life in your private prayer time. Love them.

Happy New Year!

Copyright 2024, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.
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We Only Have One Heart

If someone says, “I love God,” but hates a fellow believer, that person is a liar; for if we don’t love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see?

1 John 4:20 (NLT)

I want to draw your attention to one little word in this verse. The word can. Can is not about the will or the choice to do something. Can is about the ability to do something. The word in Greek means to be able to or to have the power or capability to. And if this is the case then what this verse is saying is that if we do not practice loving our fellow believers then we will not have the capability to love God and that is profound!

Often we think, and I have thought at one point, that we can live in isolation in a ‘just me and God’ sort of reality. And by isolation, I don’t mean that we necessarily become a hermit but just that we withhold our hearts from everyone or at least most people. We think we can hold everyone at a distance but be intimate with God. This verse is saying that that is a delusion. The same relational muscles that we must build to be vulnerable with others and to connect across the things that divide us (race, theology, personality, class, education) are the same muscles needed to connect to an invisible God.

I did not come about this understanding by studying 1 John. That is rarely how God teaches me. It was revealed to me in my daily struggles as I processed life with God. Since I married the one and only Tricia Celestin-Nicholls I have been working on trying to remain relational and connected with her through life’s ups and downs. As with all of us, I have suffered my fair share of trauma and I have learned coping mechanisms to keep myself safe. My go-to is shutting down, meaning that I become emotionally numb and withdraw into my own inner world. There are any number of triggers that can cause me to shut down but any form of criticism or vexation pointed in my direction is top of the list. I can also shut down if I am under a lot of emotional stress. And when I shut down it’s with everybody not just the person who may have triggered it. So you see how my poor wife may suffer the brunt of my disconnection even if she didn’t cause it.

So, I’ve been working on remaining open and relational even when I am stressed or feel hurt or threatened. To tell you the truth, it seems like every time I heal one layer there’s a deeper layer that God reveals that needs a deeper healing. The word trauma means soul-wound according to Gabor Mate. In order for me to love my wife better, Jesus needs to heal my soul. This doesn’t just affect my wife of course. It means that I can love everyone better. My kids. My parents. My sister. My friends. My co-workers. My church group. My neighbours. Everyone.

But back to the opening verse, do you see that it also means that I can love God better? What I discovered that led me to this verse is that as I healed, I was able to stay connected to Holy Spirit better. I hid less when I sinned. I was able to hear Holy Spirit better even when I was stressed. I was better able to leave my heart open to receive the love that I so desperately needed and God so desperately wanted to pour on me.

God showed me that I only have one heart. The same heart that loves my wife is the same heart that loves Him. Wholeheartedness is not an option. Healing is not an option. If we are to obey the greatest commandment to love God with all our hearts then we must work on our relationships. It is in that pursuit that traumas are unearthed, wounds healed and hearts made whole.

Working on loving others is working on loving God because you’ve only got one heart!

Copyright 2023, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.
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Launching The EQuip App – An Essential Tool For Your Emotional Wellness!

One of the things that my wife and I have in common is that we are both committed to continuous improvement. We have been consistently investing in our personal growth for decades. A few years ago, we realized that we needed to make an investment in our emotional intelligence if we wanted to move forward in our spiritual and relational growth. This was the first time we came across the feelings wheel.

Shortly after this discovery, we came to a point in our marriage where we realized that we needed professional help to get unstuck. Lo and behold the feelings wheel turned up again in one of our sessions. As part of my homework, I had to record my emotions every morning. I quickly realized that I was not very smart emotionally. I needed the wheel to help me to name my emotions.

Next, we were reading a book about building strong relational connections and there it was again. This time as a tool that we could use as a couple to share with each other the different emotions that we had experienced throughout the day. The same book (and many others that we read) also talked about practicing intentional gratitude as a way to improve emotional well-being and connection with the divine.

Soon enough we were looking for an easier way to facilitate and share with others these new habits that were adding so much value to our lives. So we decided to create an app. Thus was born EQuip!

Here is the link to the iOS App store: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/equip-authentic-joy/id6447282695
Here is the link to the Google Play Store: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.matik.equip

EQuip does a few things:

  1. It helps you to name and record your feelings.
  2. It allows you to record how you are feeling on a particular date and at a particular time together with the activity that may have caused the emotion and a short note.
  3. It allows you to see your emotional trends and will even send you notifications if it picks up a trend for you. For example, if you are sad every Monday afternoon, EQuip will alert you 12 hours before that time to allow you the opportunity to make changes to your habits.
  4. It allows you to record moments of gratitude with an easy-to-remember title, a short note, and photos. Intentionally reviewing these gratitude memories is a proven way to improve mental health and emotional well-being.
  5. It allows you to record a list of life-giving activities which you can reference to pick you up when you are feeling down or lacking inspiration.

We hope that this tool will be of value to you on your journey.

One request: Please share!

Thanks!

Copyright 2023, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.
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Passion

My life has been characterized by a long and winding quest for passion. There were seasons when I pursued it vigorously. There were seasons when I tried to wrestle it into submission. I have cut it loose to run wild. I have cursed God for giving me this wild horse and then demanding that I keep it in the stable (at least that’s how it felt to me). Most recently, I have come to understand and appreciate passion more fully. The truth is, I was made to live a passionate life. We all are.

But what is passion? The passion that I am talking about occurs when I experience something with my physical senses, my soul and my spirit simultaneously. It is when I experience life with every facet of my being. It is that feeling of being completely alive. We were made tripartite beings – body, soul and spirit. Therefore, it only makes sense that this desire for holistic engagement would burn in us.

Before I walked with Christ, I felt the edges of this elusive life of passion most acutely in moments of revelry. My country is the home of carnival and in my younger days, I enjoyed it thoroughly.  As I danced with crowds of jubilant celebrants through the streets there were moments when I could feel d music in meh soul and it was just pure movement to the rhythm, eyes closed, a blissful smile on my face and no care for who might be watching. This also explains our fascination with sex. Making love (what a wonderful phrase) includes touch, taste, sight, sound and smell; all five senses fully engaged. It is also intensely emotional and deeply spiritual. Yet, there is another factor that makes the loving sexual union of two souls such a powerful experience – it is a shared experience.

We are meant to live in a shared experience of life, with God and others. The sharing of the experience multiplies the passion. I have given up my life of revelry, but I have discovered something better (I would have never thought that was possible back in the days though) – worship! For me, there are few other experiences that are more passionate than corporate worship. I’m not talking about absent-mindedly mouthing some lyrics while shifting from one foot to the other. I’m talking about eyes closed, eruptions of praise from the depths of your soul as you encounter the heart-rending presence of God together with a community of beautiful worshippers. Another worship experience that is becoming one of my favourite passion-moments is watching sunsets with God while listening to soft instrumental worship music. (Cue tears of bliss.)

There is something oxymoronic about passionless Christians. If Christ is that good and the abundant life that He promises so abundant, then shouldn’t that move us deeply? Shouldn’t the love of God be something more captivating than a theological fact? It is unfortunate that some of us have interpreted “if you love me you will obey my commands” to mean that the mere act of obeying is the complete fulfillment of love. What a travesty. This type of thinking pervades our world and has created a soul-less robotic church that quite frankly does more damage than good. A better interpretation of Christ’s words would be that when our souls are filled with the love of Christ, loving actions (obeying my commands) will naturally follow.

This was after all how Christ lived. How many times did he heal people or feed the crowds because He was moved with compassion? Jesus was not an automaton, woodenly following His Father’s orders. Jesus was passionate! There is a reason why Jesus’ suffering and crucifixion is called the passion of Christ. It was gritty. It was visceral. It was emotionally taxing. His very flesh was violated. His soul was tortured and the communion of His spirit with His Father was interrupted. Yet, Jesus persevered through it all for the joy set before Him – for the love He carried in his heart for His family to be united. On another occasion, He whipped merchants selling cattle and doves and overturned the tables of moneychangers in the temple. His disciples explained His behaviour with the saying, “Passion for God’s house will consume me.” Jesus was consumed with passion the bible says.

So, what are we to do about this soul-less Christianity that many of us are living? God has His ways to reach our hearts. The Christian mystic Simone Weil wrote, “Two things can pierce the human heart – beauty and affliction.” Richard Rohr echoes the same sentiment by repeatedly pointing to two things that have the power to awaken us to God – wonder and suffering. Both are God’s way of awakening us to a passionate love-affair with Him. Choose one.

Copyright 2022, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.

The Authentic Joy team is starting another cycle of the Spiritual Formation workshop series!

If you are hungry for a deeper walk with God and are looking for a group of like-minded people to journey alongside you in this season then why not join us?

Let’s grow together!

For more information & to register click here: https://authenticjoy.org/online-event-spiritual…/

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Kingdom Innovation

I have been working for the same company for 18 years. I started as the Marketing Officer and then got promoted to Vice President Marketing. That’s a long time to be working in the same department. My job was never boring. I liked what I did and there were plenty of opportunities to get involved in initiatives and projects that kept me learning. Nevertheless, I began to feel a yearning in my soul for something more. It didn’t help when a few organizational changes also contributed to my growing demotivation.

Then God spoke. Or maybe I listened for the first time (to God and to my wife), instead of just telling Him what I wanted Him to do. Whichever it was, it was clear that He was calling me out from this malaise to re-engage with my job. “Alright if You insist,” I grudgingly obeyed. “OK Matik, you are going to re-invent yourself!” This was my inner pep talk as I began to brainstorm ways to enhance myself and my portfolio in ways that were meaningful to me. I had a masterplan, and I was excited.

The very next week my boss called me into his office. “Matik, I want you to disrupt yourself.” As he began to challenge me to come back to him with a plan to re-invent myself, I was laughing like a child and praising God on the inside. He had no idea how ready I was for this challenge. LOL.

Moments like these always cause me pause. Moments when the realness of God at work in my life becomes so tangible. It’s like a tree root bursting out at the surface of the earth, that evidences the vast root system that lies unseen below your feet. Oh God, thank You for unveiling Your goodness in my life. Every time I make one tiny step towards You in obedience, you make ten giant ecstatic leaps towards Me.

A few conversations later I was appointed Vice President Innovation and Corporate Agility – a new assignment for me and uncharted territory for my company. However, just how strategically God had set me up, only dawned on me when I began to do some reading in preparation for my new responsibilities. I realized that to be an innovative organization required a culture that was hugely diverse and collaborative; a place where trust was high, and people felt valued and safe; where it was OK to try new things even if you failed. Little epiphanic explosions began to fire all over my brain. You see, for months God had been speaking to me about creating kingdom community where people are valued for who they are, empowered to become spectacularly great and outrageously loved; a place where people find belonging and safety instead of shame and judgment. Creating such a community of believers had become an obsession but I never saw this coming; I never expected God to put me in the forefront of creating kingdom community in my workplace. Sure, I always advocated this type of culture and tried to make it the culture of my team in Marketing but I never expected to be given the opportunity to have such an integrated work and spiritual life in a secular space.

I do not know if this is what happens for all faithful Christ-followers in one way or another – if as we forsake all and follow Him, our paths inextricably lead into greater and greater purpose… or if this is just my peculiar path… But most of all I am grateful… Grateful to God for giving me work that is meaningful and fulfilling and challenging (as all meaningful work should be). Grateful to my boss and the board of directors for trusting me to lead this mission. And grateful to all those who believe in me and support me and wished me well in this new venture.

I do believe that there is no one more innovative than God. The picture of the body of Christ is a picture of what an innovative community looks like. God knows that when diversity is undergirded by deep love and unity in community, miracles happen. This is what the early church looked like. This is what an innovative community looks like. Many different parts. One body. Unconditional love.

As I step into the unknown, I’m putting my trust in Him, trying to love people well, and making this my mandate:

“To create an organizational environment that unlocks the greatness in every employee and brings them together to create a community of collective genius that consistently and profusely innovates.”

Copyright 2022, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.

The Authentic Joy team is starting another cycle of the Spiritual Formation workshop series!

If you are hungry for a deeper walk with God and are looking for a group of like-minded people to journey alongside you in this season then why not join us?

Let’s grow together!

For more information & to register click here: https://authenticjoy.org/online-event-spiritual…/

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The Gift of Mortality Salience

All over the world people are demanding a higher quality of life. Many have finally found the will to end abusive or stagnant relationships. Many more have refused to go back to the tyranny of long commutes and soul-crushing jobs. The pandemic has sparked a newfound appreciation for an ancient truth – life is short. Too short not to pay attention to what really matters. Too short to waste our days obsessing over trivial things like profits and housework. Too short to do anything less than something that makes our soul exult.

This phenomenon is called mortality salience – a heightened awareness of the inevitability of our death. I first heard about this phenomenon on a Brene Brown podcast. Thus far, over 6 million people worldwide have died from the Covid virus. I think it is fair to say that we are all experiencing a higher level of awareness of our mortality.

In my opinion, this is truly a gift from God. Anything that awakens us from our deception is a gift. It is a merciful opportunity to course correct. So do not let this moment pass you by! Take action now while your soul is still gripped with the urgency of this moment! Don’t wait! Don’t get sucked back into the soul-numbing existence of chasing after more stuff or more security or more success.

I say yes to more family time and fewer office hours! Yes to eight hours of sleep and leisurely breakfasts! Yes to work that you really enjoy and that makes a difference in the world. But most of all I say yes to more of God and less of religion. Yes to watching the sunrise while meditating on His grandeur. Yes to breaking bread with family and friends. Yes to soaking in His Presence for hours.

Life is too short not to seek God. I mean to really seek Him. To seek Him because He is the only thing worthy of ALL of your time and energy. 

Intimacy with God is the ONLY pursuit that is worthy of your lifetime.

Seek Him first. Here’s a secret you may not have heard before: building big ministries, growing megachurches, saving souls, spreading the gospel, impacting nations and the like do not make good goals for your life. They are good things, just not good as life goals, they are much better as by-products of a life spent in pursuit of Christ and Christ alone.

He alone is worthy. This primal pursuit is the foundation of all other pursuits. The pursuit of Christ makes all other pursuits worthwhile. It doesn’t matter how long you have been going to church. It does not matter how much of Him you have already experienced. There is always more. If you think this moment in history (this humanity reset) is only about those who don’t know Jesus, you are wrong. God is speaking to all of us.

We Jesus people need a reset. We have been so caught up in religious activity that we haven’t had time to be caught up in God. We have been living lives of superficiality and striving instead of lives of wonderment. We have been blind, deaf, and half-dead to the wonder of Jesus. We have been slaves to busyness. Too busy serving God to see Him…really see Him. Too busy with building projects, church meetings, and pursuing blessings to stroll with Him in the cool of the garden.

Beloved, let us seek God again. Let us seek Him like water in the desert. Seek Him in spirit and in truth. Let us seek Him with all our heart and soul and might! Life is short!

If you need help defining what a reset looks like for you, our resident life coach, Tricia, would be happy to help. Contact her at celestintricia@gmail.com

Copyright 2022, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.

If you haven’t yet, check out our FREE Spiritual Growth Foundation Course in which we cover the four foundational principles for spiritual growth and much more! In addition to on-demand videos which you can watch at your leisure, there are downloadable handouts for those who prefer written content.

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An Emotional Christian?

God has been speaking to my wife, Tricia, and me for months now about our emotional wholeness. The picture that I had in my head of a mature Christian is a stoic guy, resolutely following God and not being swayed or distracted by his emotions.  Moreover, he always has his ‘negative’ emotions under control. He never shows anger. He is never fearful, and he’s definitely never depressed. But I’ve been asking myself, “Is this picture an accurate one?”

To begin with, the bible captures God displaying a variety of emotions. Here’s a small sample:

Genesis 6:6 (ESV)

And the Lord regretted that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him to his heart.

Zephaniah 3:17 (ESV)

The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.

Matthew 14:14 (ESV)

When he went ashore he saw a great crowd, and he had compassion on them and healed their sick.

John 11:35 (ESV)

Jesus wept.

Hmmm God seems so… emotional. Doesn’t that reconfigure your framework for how we, human beings created in His image, are supposed to function? God created our emotions. In fact, on the sixth day, God looked at all that He had made (including mankind, fresh from the dirt, with emotions and all) and said that it was very good!

As I mentioned, Tricia and I seem to be in an emotional masterclass at the moment. My knowledge gap is huge, but I’ve been learning.  After attending emotional intelligence training and a LOT of reading, I thought I would share some of what we’ve learned.

First of all, emotions serve a purpose. Emotions are messages. We can choose to process the messages and act on the information, or we can choose to ignore them at our own peril. It’s analogous to sensory information that goes from our senses to our brain. If we push a pin into our skin, our brain gets a pain message that tells us that if we continue pushing that pin, we will be injured. If we are touched affectionately, our brain gets a pleasure message that tells us that this is good for us. Similarly, fear, for example, protects us from danger even before it gets close enough to harm us. If we ignored our fear emotion, we would soon be dead. The interesting thing is that emotions make no distinction between physical dangers/pleasures and things that threaten or benefit our soul. The pain of loneliness can be as strong as a physical pain. It is a warning that we are too isolated from others and damaging our soul. While the joy of seeing a friend encourages us to socialize and connect with others which increases the well-being of our soul.

Secondly, every emotion is an opportunity for self-discovery or connection (or both). The message contains information about what really matters to us. The messages tell us about our heart and processing those messages with God and those close to us creates intimacy because sharing our heart is one of the most relationship-building things we can do. Here’s an example: Tasha comes home after a really stressful day at work. She is looking forward to spending time with her husband, Rico. However, she gets home to a note that says that Rico has gone golfing. She is disappointed. When Rico does get home, he notices that Tasha is a bit cold and begins to get angry assuming that Tasha is angry because he went golfing. This is the moment of opportunity. Any married couple knows that this could easily lead to a bitter argument and disconnection if both Rico and Tasha ignore ‘the signals’ that their emotions are sending them. Let’s assume they get it right: Rico processes his anger and realizes that he is jumping to conclusions and asks Tasha if anything is wrong. Tasha processes her disappointment and tells Rico how much she needed his love and comfort and her disappointment on realizing that he was not home in such an impersonal way. Rico responds by moving closer to her and empathizing with her pain. He apologizes for not calling instead of leaving a note and suggests a movie in bed. The couple ends the night with their relationship significantly strengthened because Tasha allowed Rico to see how much he means to her and Rico reciprocated his value for her by being tender with her vulnerability and prioritizing her needs. (If only I was as emotionally intelligent as Rico!)

Emotions have gotten a bad rep in the modern Christian life. We are so concerned about not being controlled by our emotions that we have completely ignored a necessary aspect of what it means to be a healthy and Godly human. While it is true that emotions should not control us, we are not meant to be left-brained, rational machines. By sheer neglect of our souls, we have become half-hearted creatures trying to love God and people with our minds and a seriously malnourished heart. Not to mention we foolishly think we can love through an act of our will only.

Consider our fictitious couple again. Suppose Rico did everything the same except his face never reflected the pain that Tasha felt. His eyes were cold and his suggestion to watch a movie seemed to be made begrudgingly. He did and said all the right things, but his emotions were not in it. Do you think that would affect the outcome? You bet it would! Love is both will AND emotion. Our love of God and others cannot be decision and duty only. It must also be fully experienced and deeply felt. We have been trying to build relationships with God, marriages, families, and communities of love based on a rational approach that neglects the emotional attributes of our beings. It has not been working.

By neglecting my emotional signals, I have been neglecting my heart. I am dysfunctional (but not uncommon). I am not loving God with my whole heart, my whole mind, and my whole soul and neither am I loving others as God loves me. God pursues me with a jealous love! His love for me is ferocious! Mine is not nearly as hot. I have learned a pattern of behaviour that is not according to design. I have learned to suppress my ‘negative’ emotions and to avoid the vulnerability of intimacy. I have learned to neglect my heart. The process of unlearning is slow and difficult, but Tricia and I are committed to it because we were made to live wholeheartedly! To live passionately! We all are!

Copyright 2021, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.

If you haven’t yet, check out our FREE Spiritual Growth Foundation Course in which we cover the four foundational principles for spiritual growth and much more! In addition to on-demand videos which you can watch at your leisure, there are downloadable handouts for those who prefer written content.

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My Best Advice for 2021

OK here’s my best advice for 2021. Ready for it?

DO LESS

In 2020, COVID-19 reset the planet and for many of us it should have been a wake-up call to the reality of the hurried and exhausted lives we were living. I am currently listening to The Power of Vulnerability by Dr. Brene Brown and totally enjoying it. She manages to share powerful truths in a way that is both funny and thought-provoking. Highly recommended! She discusses 10 guideposts for wholehearted living and one of them is “cultivating play and rest and letting go of exhaustion as a status symbol and productivity as self-worth”. I found this to be a powerful guide to a better quality of life. But what struck a deeper chord with me was how much more relevant this is in light of the COVID-19 pandemic. It was as if we simply refused to shut down, so the universe hit Ctrl-Alt-Delete and forced us to end all our tasks. Then the universe said, “Your move.”

Unfazed, we replied, “Pffft. We re-launch all our tasks aaaand we add the Zoom upgrade on top of that. So there!”

I believe the universe is now shaking its head and saying, “Puny humans.”

Suffice to say, I don’t think we’ve gotten the message. We are addicts. Addicted to busyness and distraction. Brene has already called us out on one of the ingredients that can keep us addicted to lives of busyness and distraction:

  • A lack of self-worth. We are constantly trying to produce enough to gain the approval of others and justify our existence to ourselves.

I would proffer a second:

  • Pain avoidance. Keeping busy is just another means of avoiding the internal demons that haunt our souls when things get quiet. We haven’t faced them, and we don’t want to. So, we keep busy.

The point is our exhausting pace of life is just a symptom of our brokenness or incompleteness. This is not an indictment. This is just the reality of being human. We all have brokenness that needs healing. We each have our unique brand of fractures and some of us are further along the path to healing than others but none of us are issue-free. We do have a choice though… a significant and powerful choice: will we continue as we are or press into the work of inner healing?

I believe that this is the gift of 2020 to humanity – a wake-up call to action. We got a glimpse of ourselves in the mirror and having seen the truth we are faced with a choice. The question is do we want to be more? Will we choose to be more? Enter, the second part of my advice:

BE MORE

I always remember a powerful perspective that I heard from Dr. Ruth Haley Barton that went something like this, “A powerful yes, enables you to say no.” She explained that in the work of doing less we need to be able to say no to things, even good things, and what gives us that power to say no is a strong yes to something else. Perhaps we are asked to attend a social event for work but it’s the same night as we promised to watch a movie with our daughter. Usually, we rationalize that we can always do the movie another time or we have to show up to get a chance at that promotion or maybe we tragically try to do both. But if we have a powerful yes to the kind of parent we want to be, or the kind of relationship we want to have with our children, then saying no to the social event is really saying YES to something bigger!

I want to leave you with some powerful things to say YES to and reasons to do less in 2021. I have found these to be useful in my life. Perhaps one or two will resonate with you:

  1. Doing less is an act of faith. Saying no to some activities or responsibilities is saying YES to a life of supernatural productivity. When the Israelites observed the Sabbath in the desert for 40 years, they had to believe that every Friday (or whatever day before Sabbath) God would supernaturally send more manna than usual and that it would keep for the next day unlike all the other days of the week when it would become full of maggots. Saying no to work was saying, “YES God I believe in Your provision!” Later on, they had to believe that God would take care of the survival of their businesses that would close for Sabbath while the competition remained open. The same can be said of us today. If we choose to do less (even observe a Sabbath, like I do) in obedience to God’s call to rest, then we enter into a beautifully supernatural faith-walk with God as He steps in to do more with less than we could do working ourselves ragged. I have seen this at work in my life and I know you will too if you try it.
  2. Doing less is an act of obedience to your call. The most important call on our lives is not what God has called us to do but who God has called us to be. If we have a big YES for living a life fully authentic to who God has called us to be then saying no to anything that is less than that, no matter how attractive, is easy. It is also a much more joyful way to live. Doing things that just aren’t who we are to please people or help a friend out or to get ahead socially or financially is draaaaining. We can fool ourselves into thinking it is a stepping stone to what we really want to do but it isn’t.
  3. Doing less is a commitment to a higher quality of work/worship. The work we do is an act of worship. It is glorifying God with the talents, personality and time He has given us. If we have a big YES to the quality of our worship through our work, then we will sacrifice quantity for quality. We all know what it feels like to be rushing from project to project and meeting to meeting always giving just enough of our attention and effort to move it along but never enough to be truly creative or extraordinary. Wouldn’t it be more God-honouring (not to mention personally fulfilling) to do our best work? To do work that is truly meaningful and transformative?
  4. Doing less is a commitment to a higher quality of relationships/life. All relationships require investing time to build connection and intimacy. Setting aside dedicated time to invest in the people closest to us and being present with them is a big YES to a more fulfilling life. They say the quality of our life is the sum of the quality of our relationships. We all know this is true. Just like we know that we cannot build meaningful relationships if we never have time to take our spouse to dinner, or play board games with the kids, or just listen to our direct reports without simultaneously checking emails or text-messaging. No to constant busyness is a big YES to better relationships.
  5. Doing less is a commitment to spiritual growth. I have read many books about seeking God and one of the things all the authors agree on is that busyness and distraction are the enemies of spiritual growth. Saying no to a life of constant busyness and distraction is saying a big YES to more of God and more of God in us. Some of the things that require us to be fully present and undistracted are: practicing gratitude, reviewing our day with God, two-way prayer (as opposed to rattling off a monologue without waiting for a response), meditating on scripture. Getting away from the noise of life and getting with God is a prerequisite for becoming present to the places in our lives that need His touch and direction and bringing them into His Presence for guidance, redemption and restoration. You may think that you have too much to do to spend time in ’wasted’ activity like prayer for more than 15 minutes but you will be surprised at the impact you will have on your world when you spend more time with God. Try it and see!

In summary:

MORE BEING, LESS DOING

Copyright 2021, Matik Nicholls.
All rights reserved.

To receive more content like this in your inbox and to receive a free e-copy of my book, The Primacy of The Voice of God – Elevating the Word of God to Its Rightful Position, please subscribe to www.authenticjoy.org.

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The Real Law Of Attraction

All of creation longs for unity. It is evident everywhere. Gravity is evidence of it. What we experience as ‘falling’ is actually the attraction between earth and our physical bodies. All matter is constantly pulling itself together. The bond between atoms is so strong that the fusing of atoms releases ginormous amounts of energy that literally fuels the stars. It’s like an atomic orgasm. Speaking of orgasms… Sexually, our bodies crave union. Every teenager knows that the force of sexual attraction is almost irresistible. Our DNA is hard-wired for procreation through sexual union. The same is true of our social-selves. We long for emotional connection with others. We all know instinctively that being alone is not good for us. Hence, the existence of loneliness. We need to belong to a group and without that sense of belonging we will never be happy.

What is less understood or acknowledged is that we were also designed for spiritual unity with God and with others. Those who know this most poignantly are those of us who, like me, have converted to Christianity. Before coming to Christ, I considered myself a happy person, but I knew that something was missing… I just had no idea what. There was a ‘hole’ in my soul that could not be filled. The only clue I had was that from time to time I would find myself getting depressed at sunset as thoughts ran through my mind. “What of any real meaning have you done today?” We can try to fill this gap with many things: alcohol, philanthropy, sex, children, prestige, accomplishment, family, fame, drugs, possessions… The list can be endless but until our Spirit is united with Christ through the Holy Spirit, the sense of incompleteness will remain.

But that is just the beginning. We are immediately conscripted into a much larger plan; a divine re-unifying of all saints and all creation in Christ. I say, RE-unification because through Adam all was disconnected from Christ and death entered creation. But, through the cross, we have been reconciled to Christ.

Paul, speaking of Christ, says it this way in Colossians 1:15-20 (ESV):

15 He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation. 16 For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him. 17 And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together. 18 And he is the head of the body, the church. He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in everything he might be preeminent. 19 For in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, 20 and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of his cross.

ALL things are being reconciled to Christ. This is the wonderful celebration to which we have been called! We are part of a divine re-unification of all things to Christ! The spirit comes first but everything is touched; everything must be redeemed: sex, society and creation itself.

I believe this is a powerful lens through which to view the world. Everything that we see in the world around us that is good is of God and everything we see that is evil is in a state of disconnection and it is our privilege to be agents of redemption. We should so carry Christ in our mortal flesh that everywhere we go and everything we do brings a redemptive effect. Do you see war, sickness, poverty, promiscuity, injustice, corruption, crime and demonic activity? Then that is exactly where we are needed because that is exactly where Christ is needed. The love of God in Christ is the most transformative agent in the universe!

Maybe we have believed in the law of separation? Maybe we have heard, “Come out and be ye separate,” or “What fellowship has light with darkness,” as a call to separate ourselves from the world? After all, we are often told not to be ‘worldly’ by well-meaning preachers. However, these Godly instructions are not about where we go or who we associate with. They are about our identity, who or what we worship, and the values we hold. These issues are what give us our saltiness. Salt mixes into everything to such a degree that you can hardly distinguish it physically, but you know it’s there because you can taste the difference.

Are there any neighbourhoods we would never want to visit, far less live? Are there any people with whom we would never hang out or even be seen? Maybe because of their ‘alternative’ lifestyles or maybe their weird doctrines? Instead of separation let us yield our lives to the divine law of attraction – the divine unification – taking Christ everywhere He is needed until all is reconciled!

Copyright 2020, Matik Nicholls.
All rights reserved.

To receive more content like this in your inbox and to receive a free e-copy of my book, The Primacy of The Voice of God – Elevating the Word of God to Its Rightful Position, please subscribe to www.authenticjoy.org.

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Do I Love Working from Home?

Yes I do, but I didn’t always feel that way about some aspects of our new normal. My new perspective on work from home started with this statement:

“Daddy, you have to help me with a PowerPoint presentation for school.”

“OK, bring your laptop next to mine and you will follow what I do.”

As I sat showing my 12-year-old the magic of animation and the art of the layout, I felt oddly useful. Finally, a school project that is super relevant to the real world and that I’m really good at! I got to pass on my knowledge to the next generation.

Time travel back to over a thousand years ago, and the two of us could have been putting horseshoes on a horse or kneading dough for the family’s famous bread that supplied the whole village. Back then (in the 1800s, before the industrial revolution and urbanization), work was mainly done by hand at home. People lived where they worked. Turn… turn… turn… and here we are again living and working in the same location, albeit in a completely new way. Truly there is nothing new under the sun, as King Solomon would say.

I understood in a new way what had been lost with the industrial revolution and lost again with women heading into the workforce en masse in more recent times. I remembered reading about Corrie Ten Boom and her family of watchmakers, living atop their little shop. I remembered reading about the family rituals where work and leisure intermingled like a tapestry, and children grew up observing not just a tiny slice of their parents’ lives, but the gamut of dealing with customers, handling crises and honing their craft. The scope of learning was entirely more holistic and relevant to real life.

I came out of my reverie with a new perspective. I had been bemoaning the loss of separation between work and family life and the stress of sharing my work space with my children. BUT… what if there is a golden opportunity here that we have been completely missing? Consider this with me…

Every time our children crash our Zoom meeting is not a cause for embarrassment or anxiety, it is actually an opportunity for them to learn how work gets done in the real world. A world they will soon inherit.  The type of work and the tools may be different, but the core lessons are not much different to managing the family farm.

In a counter-intuitive way (given that this virtual world has been vilified as one that alienates), we have also removed some of the distance that separated us from our co-workers and customers. In that bygone era of village life, co-workers and sometimes customers became like family. Inviting someone into your shop was almost the same as inviting them into your home after all. Life was lived in closer proximity. There is an opportunity now to invite each other again into our virtual spaces… to welcome it instead of resisting it. There is the opportunity to discuss a piece of work with your colleague, for example, with the sound of your daughter’s piano lessons in the background. “Wow, she has improved so much since last time!” we would remark humorously, remembering the cacophony that jarred our last meeting. The world needs more proximity in my estimation. Separation allow us to co-exist without ever really knowing each other. I believe many of our societal schisms and racial tensions would evaporate in time if we simply got to know each other better.

There is power in perspective. There is a moving scene in the bible where Joseph confronts his brothers who sold him into slavery. Many, many years have passed. Joseph has experienced servitude and imprisonment but comes through it all through the divine hand and favor of God. As he stands reunited with his brothers, the highest official over the kingdom of Egypt after Pharoah, he reveals himself to them and they are understandably afraid. To reassure them he makes this monumental statement, “Do not fear, for am I in the place of God? As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.” Joseph had a different perspective.

We too today, need to bring to the world a different perspective. Paul said that for those who love God and are called according to His purpose, all things work together for good. This is the truth that Joseph demonstrated and understood as he looked back over his life. As we stand in the midst of this global pandemic, we should have a keen sense that, this too is working for God’s good purpose. Wrapped inside the pandemic package are gold nuggets that it is our privilege as sons of God to prophetically discern and mine.

It’s a great time to be alive! What shift in perspective can you make to help you engage more powerfully with the purpose of God at this time?

To receive more content like this in your inbox and to receive a free e-copy of my book, The Primacy of The Voice of God – Elevating the Word of God to Its Rightful Position, please subscribe to www.authenticjoy.org.

Copyright 2020, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.