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Category: Leadership

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Are You A Bad Guy?

“But daddy, this is my last chance to be a part of the team with all my friends!” She was crying now, and I was wavering on the inside, but I kept a straight face and said, “Honey, I know you want to be on the team with your friends but right now passing for your first choice is more important. You have to keep focused. Eye on the prize. Eye on the prize.” She was not the least bit consoled. “Honey, I love you and because I love you I make decisions that I think are in your best interest,” I said, giving her a kiss.

It was another ‘but daddy’ moment and like most of them I was not absolutely sure that I had made the right decision. My daughter wanted to be part of the Lego robotics team which required practice sessions twice a week right up to two months before SEA exams next year and she already has a packed schedule with extra-curricular activities and lessons. How she performs in SEA exams will determine which secondary school she will be placed in and that would determine the level of tuition and kind of environment that she would be exposed to for the next seven years of her life. The competition is fierce, and I had decided that there was too much at stake to risk it.

What made matters worse was that her mother didn’t agree with my decision so I was the bad guy… again. As her mother consoled her while scowling at me I knew I was outnumbered and outgunned. Lacking the emotional effusiveness to be able to stand up to the mother-daughter coalition I retreated to the next room.

Nobody likes to be the bad guy in the movie but if we are given the part we should play it without compunction. Everybody and especially every leader, be it a parent at home or a supervisor at work has to be prepared to be unpopular at some point in time. Any decision you make will be liked by some but unpopular with others. So, choose where you will take a stand and stand. Hold true to your inner compass at all costs.

That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t reconsider if more information or another point of view comes into play but do not waver because of fear of falling out of favour with people. That is a fatal mistake.

The next day my little princess snuggled up next to me in bed, “I’m still mad with you eh! Now give me a hug daddy!”

Joyfully,

Copyright 2017, Matik Nicholls

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The Challenge Trophy

Yesterday was the graduation ceremony for the Millennium Bible Institute class of 2017. I graduated with a certificate in Practical Theology and I was the class valedictorian, for which I received a challenge trophy. I chuckled to myself at the phrase ‘challenge trophy’ because, as I was introduced to give the valedictory address and then to receive the trophy, I was introduced as the student who challenged everything. It was no exaggeration.

Groupthink is defined as a psychological phenomenon that occurs within a group of people in which the desire for harmony or conformity in the group results in an irrational or dysfunctional decision-making outcome. Group members try to minimize conflict and reach a consensus decision without critical evaluation of alternative viewpoints by actively suppressing dissenting viewpoints, and by isolating themselves from outside influences.

I have seen the treacherous nature of this phenomenon at work in the business place and in the church. Leadership plays a critical role in guarding against groupthink by maintaining a healthy environment which fosters sound decision-making outcomes. Critical to this is how leaders handle challenges to their ideas. If a leader handles a challenge without getting defensive but welcomes alternative viewpoints then people will know that it is safe to share their ideas, suggestions and feedback.

However, if a leader victimizes or bullies those who oppose his views then people will quickly learn to just follow orders and leave their brains at the door. This leads to a plethora of unhealthy outcomes. Leadership will have a distorted view of reality, there will be a poverty of rigorous thinking and creativity, a culture that fosters blame and sabotage will be created, and faulty decisions will result. The final outcome will be failed businesses and failed churches.

Early on in my career and later on in my church life I learned the value of challenging ideas. I realized that the phenomenon of groupthink was widespread, and I determined to be an outspoken, independent thinker. I challenged anybody and anything without fear or favour, not to be rebellious but because I genuinely wanted what was best for the organization and for the church. Some did not respond well to being challenged and others welcomed it.

Great leaders welcome differing views and I was fortunate enough to have a few pivotal leaders in my life who encouraged me to share my views. David Jardim, my boss when I worked at Tracmac Engineering (now Massy CAT), told me not to be a ‘shrinking violet’. Unknown to him it was something God was working on in me at the time and his words had a great effect on how I viewed myself and my contribution from then on. He started the ball rolling and it hasn’t stopped since.

Many years later I had the privilege of reporting to Eugene Tiah at Phoenix Park Gas Processors Ltd. and he was a firm believer in getting everybody’s views no matter what they were. His humility is exceedingly rare in the business world and his leadership has had a great impact on my life. Most recently I have found a rare gem in my pastor, Edward Phillips, who was also my lecturer at bible school. He too, encouraged me to challenge the status quo. “Those who challenge things,” he says, “are the ones who go on to become great scholars.”

These thoughts rolled around in my head as the graduation ceremony proceeded yesterday and I gave God thanks for placing these men in my life at the right moments to allow me to be me and to grow and to mature. I hope that I will be also be a leader like them who allows those around me to be forthright and creative and bring all that they have to contribute to the success of the wider community.

Joyfully,

Copyright 2017, Matik Nicholls.

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What’s Your Story?

“Nicholls! What did I just say?” My Geography teacher had caught me talking to my friend. My mind raced. My subconscious had recorded what he was explaining on the board but I was not confident that I had heard it right so in the end I said, “I don’t know, Sir.” “Stand up!” I stood as he approached me. He began to draw lines on my face with his chalk. “I wonder why you don’t know.” I fought back tears as he continued to decorate on my face….

That was the day I decided that I would get top marks in Geography. I don’t know why I responded to that incident that way but I was determined that that teacher was not going to keep me down. I did not tell my parents about it. I just fought back the only way I knew how. One day I would be more successful than him and nothing could shake my resolve.

I’m currently reading the book Discover Your True North – Becoming an Authentic Leader by Bill George (which I highly recommend by the way) and he talks about the fact that your life story defines your leadership. “The journey to authentic leadership begins with understanding yourself..” he says. He goes on to talk about how we all have varied and unique life experiences which shape us and many of the leaders he interviewed for the book were defined more by their negative experiences than their positive ones.

As I turned the pages of my book, my encounter with my Geography teacher came flooding back to me. I never really considered how much that moment defined me. It would be the template I would use for dealing with unfair circumstances for years to come. Two major character traits solidified:

  1. Independence – I deal with things on my own. I hate asking for help. I handle my stories as I like to say and if you think that you can hold me to ransom by withholding some form of support or assistance, you are sorely mistaken. This is sometimes a useful trait and sometimes a destructive one. Later on in life other experiences would bring some balance. I would mature from independence to interdependence but my natural bent is still towards independence.
  2. High Self Worth – I know my value and how you treat me is a reflection of you not me. Discrimination does not phase me. As the Obamas say, “When they go low, we go high.” Some people just don’t know any better. I feel sorry for them. I don’t waste my energy on them. I invest my energy in my success which is in the hands of God alone.

I’ve seen these traits at work over and over throughout my life story. The journey towards your authentic leadership and authentic joy begins with understanding yourself. We can never find joy trying to live other people’s stories or denying who we are. Embrace who you are. Find things to love about yourself and change the things that you don’t. But if you do change, change for you not for anyone else.

By that, I do not mean you never compromise. I mean if you do compromise, you do it because of who you want to be as a person. It cannot be a change forced upon you. It cannot be primarily to keep or get something or someone you want. It has to be because of who you want to be. All authentic and lasting change comes from the inside-out. Do not give authorship of your story to any man. That path will never lead to joy.

Joyfully,

Copyright 2017,  Matik Nicholls

 

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Leaders Are Not Born Or Taught, They Are Wrought

Incredibly, there are still ‘leaders’ out there who believe that leadership is about position, power and control. Even if they pretend to buy in to a more up-to-date leadership paradigm, their actions tell a different story.

What is even more disheartening for me is that this paradigm of the authoritarian, all-knowing leader is pervasive in the church. This boggles my mind given Jesus taught and exemplified the credo that the greatest is the servant of all.

The modern paradigm of leadership posits that leadership is not about power or personality and therefore anybody, at any level, anywhere can be a leader. I believe that leadership at its core is about three things:

  1. Character
  2. Purpose
  3. Service

Frequently, these qualities are uncovered through trials. The crucible of pain transforms the ordinary man or woman into a great leader if he or she yields to the process.

This is what Nelson Mandela and Malala have in common. Nelson Mandela spent 27 years in prison for his struggle against the apartheid system of South Africa. Yet, after his release Mandela emphasised reconciliation between the country’s racial groups.

Malala Yousafzai was shot in her head, neck and shoulder for speaking out against the atrocities of the Taliban in Pakistan. After recovery, she continued championing the cause for equal rights and education for girls.

In both of these stories, there is horrible injustice and persecution but amazingly the persecution does not make Mandela or Malala bitter or disillusioned. Instead they rise above and dedicate their lives to helping others who are suffering as they have suffered.

I used these examples because they are well known but this is not at all what makes them great leaders. There are countless others who we will never know about but their stars are no less luminous. In Trinidad and Tobago there is a great leader, Loverne Henry, who was gang raped while four months pregnant and two years later she created a foundation dedicated to providing mental, emotional and spiritual support for the recovery of victims of violent crimes. Truly Loverne Henry, the leader, was wrought in the burning fires of tragedy.

But what about you and me? Can we be leaders even though it is hardly likely that we will face the persecution and suffering of a Loverne or a Malala? The answer is a resounding yes! We all face trials and pain and suffering. The scale of it is not important. It could be a bully at school, an abusive or cruel parent, discrimination on the workplace, a troubled child, a difficult marriage, the loss of a loved one…. There is no shortage of fire for the furnace. What matters is our response to the fire.

To endure it and come out the other side stronger and without hate in your heart, takes character. The furnace can also force us to clarify who we really are at the very core, what is really important to us and why we are here. What is our uniqueness, our gift to the world, our passion, our purpose? And finally, on that twin foundation of character and clarity of purpose, we humbly offer ourselves in the service of others. The last step is crucial. Without service we may be great survivors but not great leaders.

I’ve had my share of hard knocks, nothing catastrophic or even uncommon, but I have paid close attention to the lessons in every trial no matter how small. I believe I am at a point where I am now beginning to have clarity about what my gift is and the humility to offer it up in service. It has taken half a lifetime in the furnace, but better late than never. This blog is certainly a part of that journey and I’m excited to see where it takes me!

My friends, don’t waste your pain in self-pity and complaining. Transform it. Use it. Become the leader you were born to be! Only you can do you! Arise and shine!

Joyfully,

Copyright 2017, Matik Nicholls