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Category: Personal Transformation

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We Have The Power!

I had a very interesting chat with some co-workers yesterday about how people use their power. We concluded that people had different aspirations with regard to their use of power. Basically, some aspired to use their power for demonstrating their superiority, self-aggrandizement or getting ahead (in other words, to help themselves). While others aspired to use their power to help others.

I was grateful that in my little work group yesterday, having observed those that used their power to serve themselves, we determined never to be in that group. It was a ray of hope that warmed my heart.

We all have power. The only question is how will we use it….

The physically strong have power over the weak. Will we use our power to muscle advantage over the weaker ones? Will we parents dominate and bully our children? How will we care for the elderly? Do we still give up our seats in the waiting room or on the bus?

The rich have power over the poor. How will we use that power? Will we squeeze the most work for the least possible pay? Will we take the largest shareholder dividends possible and treat our employees like resources to be exploited? Will we kill the small businessman to get another 1% market share? Or will we use our money to help others up?

Then there are those of us with positional power. Those invested with power by our organizations, whether it be a business-place, school or church. How we use our position? Will we swoop down and attack our underlings in meetings to enforce who is the boss? Will we grab up all the perks for ourselves? Will we use the pulpit to judge, condemn and shame? Or will we seek to make everybody successful? Will we build people up who are failing?

What about societal power? The influence we are afforded because of our position in society. How do we treat the driver, the waiter, the KFC worker, the cleaner? This is often how I take the measure of a man. How does he treat the lowest rank person? Are we rude and entitled or courteous and kind? How do we treat women? How do we treat minority groups? How do we treat homosexuals? How do we treat that person who is not as well adjusted socially as we are? Are we enforcing our individual superiority or our common humanity?

We all have the power. Let’s use it for good! Let’s spread the joy!

Joyfully,

Copyright 2017, Matik Nicholls

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Authentic You, Authentic Me, Beautiful Us

What first attracted me to coaching was the uncompromising commitment to honouring people’s uniqueness. We each have a unique identity and life experience.

Today I had an online coaching class on diversity and the focus was on how to effectively coach people different to us. We will have clients with different values, cultures and experiences and our job is NOT to use our values and experiences to help them but to trust that they have the best solutions for their own lives. Our job is to help them discover their own path and support them in achieving their goals.

To do that we have to remove all judgment from our minds. For example, if the client says they want to get married at age 20, I have to support that no matter what my experience has been. They are not me and their experience is not mine. This can be very difficult at times, but it is a way of helping people that I’m totally committed to, ironically, because of my experiences.

In Christian circles judgment is in no short supply. I’ve experienced it from within far less for those who do not share the faith. The ability to help people who do not share our personal values and beliefs (in other words people unlike us) is not just a challenge but not even something that is seen as desirable for many Christians. I believe this is something that we need to change. We need to stop trying to change people and start practicing truly unconditional love.

I have a dream. A dream of seeing the kaleidoscope love of God displayed in infinite variety as people are free to be their authentic selves. Authenticity is a big part of my value system, but it is always under attack and I believe that’s probably true for most of us. Even with these blogs I had to set my mind to be me. I knew that I could turn off some (less religious) people with my passion for Christ and I knew that I could turn off some of the more religious folks because my blogs aren’t preachy like a Christian’s blog ‘should be,’ plus I’m not hiding my massive moral flaws. I chose to be me regardless.

Like me, I want people to be fully themselves and I want to help them. I want to curb the inclination to make people more like me. As a friend recently reminded me, I can be judgmental. It’s a work in progress but I’m committed to the process.

So will you do me a favour? Please do you like only you can! Be joyfully, authentically you and light up your world!

Joyfully,

Copyright 2017, Matik Nicholls

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The Art Of Creating A Crisis

Last week I blogged about not stretching myself too thin for Christmas. Well guess what? I didn’t listen to my own advice. I got caught up in a million things from something as seemingly innocuous as setting up a new iPhone (amazing how much time that sucks up!) to trying to get in some more online classes. All this on the back of the pile of year end work deliverables and helping the little ones prepare for exams.I hit the wall hard.

One day I just realized that not only was my body tired from lack of sleep but also my mind and emotions were tired. So that day I decided to have a crisis. I put my foot down (on myself) and put the phone down and got into bed at 9:00pm that night.

The next morning, I took time to feast on the view right outside my bedroom window and instead of playing a podcast or audiobook in the truck I put on my gangster rap and crunked out on the way to work.

As I was reminded in a book on coaching that I’m reading; information is not what makes us act, it’s motivation. That’s often why, although we know what we should do, we only take action when we feel enough pain to motivate us to get off our butts.

But I don’t want to be in that reactive mode. I want to be proactive. I want to act before the pain. I want to take time to renew before I burn out. I want to do those sit-ups before I get the pot belly. So what do I do? I have to envision the consequences of inaction and create a crisis in my head.

That’s what I’m doing when I say, “Good grief, look at the size of my belly!”. To which some might say, “Please Matik!”. That’s what it takes to stay ahead of the curve sometimes. Especially, when the action needed is not something you looove to do.

So, let’s go create a crisis today in order to walk into the future that we want for ourselves tomorrow.

Joyfully,

Copyright 2017, Matik Nicholls

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Look Bacchanal!

In Trinidad and Tobago, the word bacchanal means confusion, argument or scandal. I’ve seen more bacchanal in my lifetime than I care to admit, but on the plus side, it has afforded me a wealth of experience in dealing with conflict.

What I’ve observed is that how people deal with conflict can be described on a sliding scale with avoidance (passive) on one end and confrontation (aggressive) on the other. Most people have a natural tendency that falls somewhere on this scale. We foster healthy relationships neither by avoiding conflict nor by constant confrontation.

By constantly shying away from having difficult conversations about sensitive or emotive issues avoiders rarely experience deep meaningful relationships. Avoiders will not tell people their real feelings in order to keep the peace. They seem like they are the ‘good guys’ next to the more aggressive confronters but they are just as toxic to a relationship. Often, they resort to passive aggressive behaviours. Then the only clue that you may get from an avoider you have offended are some sarcastic remarks in passing conversation.

I remember in my first supervisory position I couldn’t look at people in the eye when giving them negative feedback. It took me some years of self-development before I could hold those types of difficult conversations but even now I don’t like doing it.

Some examples of avoidance behaviours at its worst:

  • Using public forums to address personal offenses covertly with general statements such as when making work presentations or delivering sermons from the pulpit or ranting on Facebook.
  • Creating organizational policies to address one person’s behaviour.

Not all avoiders are this externally toxic of course. Many will just harbour bitterness and resentment quietly for a lifetime. There is a famous article by Bronnie Ware that talks about the 5 Top Regrets of Dying People based on her experience giving palliative care to dying patients. Number 3 was; I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings. Living without saying how you really feel is a tragic existence.

Confronters do not suffer from any problems of pent up feelings. Confronters have no interest in maintaining harmony or not hurting the other person’s feelings. They often appear to be the ‘bad guys’ always causing bacchanal. Their need to get the issue off their chest or prove their point is the overriding motivation. The result is often that they come across as aggressive and the result is more destructive than constructive as far as building trusting healthy relationships is concerned.

Some examples of confrontation behaviour at its worst:

  • Cussing out people when they feel unfairly treated.
  • Personal attacks on Facebook.

I have highlighted the very extreme ends of the scale only to make the distinction very clear. Most people, thankfully, will reside closer to centre with a tendency in either direction and will display a mix of these behaviours. So, let me offer a more balanced way of handling conflict; open and honest dialogue.

Open and honest dialogue recognizes that issues need to be brought into the open in order to be resolved while simultaneously recognizing that everyone deserves to be treated with respect and dignity. This type of engagement focuses on the issues not the personalities and has relationship building as it’s goal. This subtle shift is very powerful. The goal is no longer to keep the peace nor is it to assign blame. The relationship is prioritized as the most important thing.

This mindset demands that avoiders share their true feelings directly with the person. It also demands that confronters consider how the message will be received and therefore strive not to communicate in a way that could be interpreted as a personal attack. The bible calls it speaking the truth in love. You have to do both.

To do this it is most useful to consider:

  1. Choosing a place and time which brings out the best attitudes in both parties.
  2. Leading with more questions than statements.
  3. Making as few inferences as possible, assuming pure motives on both sides.
  4. Talking about the issues or situations and how they made you feel rather than making judgemental statements.

Here’s an example: Don’t say, “Matik yuh selfish, greedy bastard! Yuh eat meh cake again!” Do say, “Matik I was looking forward to eating my slice of cake all day and when I came home and it was gone I was so disappointed and upset. Did you eat it? Why?”

Where there are human relations, there will be conflict. Living a joyful life necessitates a mindset of treating conflict not as an opposition to relationship but as an opportunity for deeper relationship.

Joyfully,

Copyright 2017, Matik Nicholls

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Fire Bun Retirement

The pervasive retirement paradigm in society today is the biggest con that has ever been pulled on the workforce! Okay maybe I’m exaggerating a bit but hear me out…

The concept of working and saving for roughly forty years of your life to then relax and enjoy your hobbies and travel the world is fundamentally flawed for two reasons:

Firstly, why wait?! Seriously, why should we sweat and stress in the forty prime years of our lives (in terms our physical health) to then pursue our dreams in our declining years? This makes no sense. I have many friends who are not waiting (according to their Facebook pics anyway) and they should be applauded. There is no reason to delay pursuing your passions. DO IT NOW!

Begin strategizing ways to configure your life to achieve YOUR GOALS not only your employer’s. There are lots of good rexcuses (excuses masquerading as reasons) why we cannot do what we are really passionate about of course. After all, you have children and a mortgage and who is going to pay you your current salary to be the next Anthony Bourdain? I can totally relate.

The problem is that we need to overhaul our thinking. You can have more of your time under your control than you think. Getting a hold of this book is a good start to re-wiring your brain: “The 4-Hour Work Week: Escape the 9-5, Live Anywhere and Join the New Rich” by Tim Ferriss.

Why not live your most passionate life now? Do you really want to start enjoying life at sixty? Will you even reach fifty? So go on…..get off your butt and make a plan. Book that trip to see the Northern Lights! Take that one-month spiritual retreat to Thailand! Plan a weekend dinner date in Paris or Trinidad Hyatt! Buy those expensive golf clubs and start going once a week! Buy the electric guitar and start taking lessons online! In 2016 I did a two-week surfing retreat in Costa Rica. One of the best two weeks of my life!

The second problem with retirement is the vast wealth of knowledge and experience that goes down the drain. Retirement age is the prime time for giving back. Years of hard knocks and application of knowledge and skill should have produced a person that is not only wise but also mature.

Now, I do not mean that people should continue working in the same mode as before, clinging to position and power. The current classic example of this is Robert Mugabe in Zimbabwe. We have too many leaders that have stifled the growth of companies and countries and churches by making themselves indispensable. This tragedy is all around us in Trinidad and Tobago. Why do the same old names keep recycling in our political parties and high-profile energy committees until they literally cannot walk anymore? It seems politicians and religious leaders only change when the incumbent dies.

What I am proposing is a transition to a mentorship role. Behind the scenes, men and women with deep knowledge and insight; veterans who have been through the good, the bad and the ugly should be ensuring the next generation benefits from their knowledge. This passing of the baton is what builds a nation. We need young innovative people with fresh ideas and zeal and energy, unfettered by tradition and history, to be in the driver’s seat while the wise and mature elders guide and coach in the background.

In our families the same is needed. Granny and grandpa should not be off golfing and ballroom dancing 24/7 or worst yet in a home for the aged somewhere. Their guiding hands and support are needed today more than ever while at the same time the younger generation needs to chart a new course in this new world.

In summary, do not put off your most passionate life for after sixty. Instead, begin to strategize around how in your later years you will help the next generation to surpass your accomplishments!

Joyfully,

Copyright 2017, Matik Nicholls

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I Am A Number 7

The Enneagram is a model which consists of nine personality types. The model proposes that every person falls into one of the nine types. It is not a perfect system of course. It’s kind of like giving everyone a colour that matches their personality. There are as infinite a number of colours as there are personalities but we can form broad categories like reds and greens.

I recently did a questionnaire that revealed that I was a type seven; The Enthusiast. According to https://www.enneagraminstitute.com, sevens are extroverted, optimistic, versatile, and spontaneous. Playful, high-spirited, and practical, they can also misapply their many talents, becoming over-extended, scattered, and undisciplined. They constantly seek new and exciting experiences, but can become distracted and exhausted by staying on the go. They typically have problems with impatience and impulsiveness.

As I read more and reflected, I gained some valuable insights into myself and how I relate to others. There were some things that did not apply to me and others that ‘fell in my garden’ as we say. Now I know some people don’t place much stock in personality typing. Some take the ‘I can’t be placed in a box’ stance or the ‘only God defines me’ stance. To which I say:

  • Nothing about personality typing limits you or places you in a box. It does quite the opposite. It can give you greater insight into what drives you, what are your strengths and what are your weaknesses which frees you to choose a path of growth that’s best for you.
  • The types are not designed to define you but to describe you (generally). If God made you an introvert for example the test will just reflect your natural God-defined nature.

I have done numerous of these types of assessments. For example, I am an ENTJ (Extrovert-Intuition-Thinking-Judgement) under the Myers-Briggs model and an I (Influence) under the DISC profile. Each assessment has provided feedback that I have used to grow and develop as a person.

But for me the real bonus of understanding these models in some depth has been the appreciation for the different personalities of the people I live and work with. It has made me more understanding and compassionate.

When it comes to relationships, I wish I had understood more about this stuff earlier in life. For example, the five love languages (http://www.5lovelanguages.com) proposes that every person has their particular way in which they give and receive love. I have found this to be so true and so empowering. The five love languages are:

  1. Words of affirmation
  2. Acts of service
  3. Receiving gifts
  4. Quality time
  5. Physical touch

If you are married, in a relationship or thinking of being in a relationship (have I covered everyone) I highly recommend finding out your love language. Imagine if your highest scoring love language is physical touch and you marry someone for whom that is their lowest scoring love language?! The more you know, the better able you are to articulate your needs and show your partner love in their language. For example, gifts are dead last for me. You could buy me a new BMW and I would be like “Thanks.”

As Polonius said in Hamlet, “To thine own self be true.” Well, the more you know about yourself, the truer you can be. Greater self-awareness and greater ability to understand and celebrate the diversity of personalities in your world will undoubtedly lead to more joyful and fulfilling relationships. And you know what they say; the quality of your life is really the quality of your relationships.

Joyfully,

Copyright 2017, Matik Nicholls

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I’m Having A Bad Day

Yesterday was one of those days. I did not want to get out of bed. I was falling behind on initiatives towards personal goals I had set for myself. My boss was not too happy with me after I had shared some bad news on a project that he was not expecting. My youngest son was upset that I had taken away his phone and my daughter was crashing under a mountain of lessons and homework. And there were several other conflicts and dramas that is inherent with my complexed family situation. Waking up to face the day seemed daunting.

I finally dragged myself off the bed and pressed robotically into the routine. Iron. Wake up children. Bathe. Shave. Brush teeth. Dress. What does this have to do with authentic joy you may ask? Well it definitely has a lot to do with authenticity. This is the reality of some of my days. Sometimes it’s tough! Sometimes it seems like everybody and everything is pulling on me, depending on me, draining my energy. Have you ever felt like that?

As for joy, well I like to think of joy as something deeper than mere happiness. Happiness is a mood; an emotion. As a preacher once said, happiness is based on what’s happening. Sometimes we will be happy. Sometimes sad. Sometimes frustrated. Sometimes angry. But beneath all of that is our raison d’être; the most important reason for our existence. Joy is not in our moods and circumstances but in the fulfilment of a purposeful life.

Days like these when I can’t self-motivate is when my support systems kick in (hopefully). Yesterday my bff lovingly reminded me of my raison d’être. I reached out to another friend and he Whatsapped me some encouragement.  Even the Facebook newsfeeds and emails we receive on a daily basis can be sources of encouragement if we intentionally set it up that way. You can choose what messages pass through the filters to fill your soul. Sometimes we need a reminder of who we are and why we’re here. A reminder that this too shall pass. That something good is coming out of all of this. Something to talk us down from jumping off the bridge into the river of despair. Honestly there have been some days when even the support systems failed, and my children were probably the only thing that stopped me from quitting my job and disappearing into obscurity somewhere.

For some reason life does not give you a time out. I still had to go to work and muster up the strength to approach the boss constructively. I still had to deal with the children patiently and lovingly support them in their crises. I had to dig deep inside but when I did I found that there was strength there. Beyond the religious ‘too blessed to be stressed’ hype, deep inside my soul was a quiet resource. A calm assurance as old and resilient as the mountains.

I went there and I found joy.

Copyright 2017, Matik Nicholls

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Wonder Quotient

On a scale of 1 to 10, what’s your WQ? How often do you experience awe? How often do you feel that indescribable feeling of being in the presence of something that transcends your understanding? I believe that people with a high WQ are more fulfilled than those with a low WQ.

What fills us with wonder can be unique to each of us. For my mom, observing her children brought wonder. I experience wonder during worship or communing with nature while sitting on my surfboard out in the ocean or sitting under a waterfall or simply watching the sun rise. Some days just thinking about who God has been to me swells my heart with awe. Whatever it is for you, nurture it.

Our soul longs to feel awed; to feel humbled by something bigger than ourselves. It could be the sheer grandeur of the universe or the unconditional love of a child. The thing is, every moment is a miracle if we open our eyes to see it. Some people only experience this awakening through a near death experience but it doesn’t have to be that way. You can right-size your life right now. Choose not to take your next breath for granted. Breathe deeply, laugh loudly, sing, skip, run, jump, smell, feel. Exult in the amazing life coursing through your body.

And guess what, according to research there is a surprising side-effect….. kindness. Strangely enough, there is something about viewing the Grand Canyon that brings out our inner altruist. Maybe it is the inkling that there is something bigger at play here that connects us all at a deeply fundamental level? Whatever it is, the positive effects are very real. You can read more about it here: https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/why_do_we_feel_awe

So, I encourage you to see the amazing around you. The person that smiles with their eyes. The couple that are truly in love. The worshipper with eyes closed. The serene miracle of a sleeping child. The mountains full of Poui trees in bloom. The orange and yellow kaleidoscope of autumn. The vastness of the ocean. The sunset painted sky. Who invented such things? All we can do is open our hearts to wonder and celebrate and be grateful.

Open your eyes to the wonder. Make it a daily habit and let your heart fill with kindness and joy.

Joyfully,

Copyright 2017, Matik Nicholls

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No Regrets?

So, I’m trying my hand at writing a book. The story draws heavily from my life experiences, forcing me to think a lot about my past. This week my mind was on my separation from my first wife. Particularly, the day that I came to visit my son after having moved out a few days before. He was a year and a half old and it was the first time that I ever saw him looking sad.

His mom explained that he had gone from room to room repeating, “Where you daddy? Where you daddy?”. The image broke my heart in a million pieces. He is sixteen years old now and a lump still forms in my throat every time I think about it. How could I have done that to that little boy? In those dark days, my only tearful prayers were, “Lord, pleeeaase let him know how much I love him.”

I have often heard people say that they have no regrets. I’ve always wondered what they mean because I definitely have regrets. I regret what my son had to go through. If I had a do-over I probably would have made the same decision from that point but there are many earlier things that I would have done differently if I knew then what I know now (getting married at twenty-three for starters). But the thing is, I can’t change the past so what can I do?

I don’t know where I heard it, but someone once said that your approach to the past should be like driving a car. You need to look in your rear-view mirror (the past) regularly. It helps you to learn from mistakes, to get perspective, to notice trends in your behaviour but you can’t drive with your eyes glued to the rear-view mirror. The much bigger focus is the view of the present and the future through the windscreen in front of you.

If I had let my mistakes dominate my thoughts (kept my eyes glued to the rear-view mirror) I would certainly have sunk into depression (crashed). But the thing is, had I done that, I would have missed the thousands of happy memories I created with my son since then. Moments like this one:

The car of life doesn’t stop moving, and if you are not looking at where you are going then you will crash. If I kept my eyes on the past, I would have lost every opportunity to create a successful future.

To successfully navigate life, you have to respond to things as they come at you; change direction, change gears, mash brakes, accelerate. The past quickly becomes irrelevant except as a learning opportunity. The same is true of past successes by the way. Many times, we can be crashing even as our eyes are glued to the glory days that once were.

For me that image of my son searching for his daddy still weighs heavy but when self-condemnation tries to take root I wrest my eyes off the past and look up. I remind myself that where there is Life, there is hope and that while I’m looking back, opportunities to create a different past are slipping by every second.

I don’t know if there is anybody else with regrets like me but if there are people out there who have made mistakes I want to encourage you not to focus on that rear-view mirror too much. Look up, there just might be joy up ahead.

Joyfully,

Copyright 2017, Matik Nicholls

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What I Learned From Baywatch

 

If you weren’t around in the 90s this title may be completely lost on you. Suffice to say, Baywatch was a tv series about lifeguards in Los Angeles, USA. Amazingly, there is something from that show that made a bigger impact on me than Pamela Anderson in a bathing suit. It is this: Don’t drown with a drowning victim. Save yourself first!

The truth is that the lifeguard is the victim’s only hope for survival, so if the lifeguard puts herself in danger she is really sacrificing two lives. Another analogy is the oxygen mask on an airplane. The safety briefing says to put on your mask first before assisting others. Same principle.

We tend to think of sacrificing our own needs for those that we love or for career pursuits as a noble quality and by and large it is, but there comes a point at which we sacrifice too much.  You see, neglecting yourself means that you are reducing the quality of your work and the quality of care for those around you. This is even more pertinent when it comes to people that depend on us. So often we do less and less of what makes us healthy, whole and passionate for the sake of our children’s success but we do not consider that the biggest contributor to our children’s success is us! Are they seeing the model of a passionate, interesting, whole, balanced and alive person? Are we on a slippery slope to burnout?

Now I want to get real practical here and describe what this means for me in detail, so you get an idea of how this works in practice:

  • Every weekday I get up early before the children are awake and take time to spend with God. I pray (which could be silent meditation or more energetic or singing depending on how I feel) and/or I read my bible. This quiet time is my spiritual renewal. It’s sacred. This time is protected simply because no one else will get up at that hour and if they do (as has happened a handful of times), I simply say, “Daddy is praying. You can stay if you are quiet or go back to bed.” This habit was very hard to form. I had to get a friend to help me to wake up early and keep me accountable until my body clock was ‘locked in’. This start to my day is the most important ritual that I have. It directly influences the energy that I bring to my interactions and life challenges. If I neglect my mornings with God I can get snappy and easily discouraged.
  • Every Wednesday and Saturday morning I go for a run and the other weekdays I do a small morning workout. These are the habits that keep me physically fit and feeling good. I don’t have the time to go to the gym or to invest in looking buff, so this is just to keep me healthy. The morning workout is very simple, basically what I can do consistently:
    • 100 jumping jacks
    • 8 pull ups
    • 40 sit ups
    • 40 dips
    • 20 push ups

I know, it’s pitiful, but anything grander takes too long and is too daunting too be consistent. The runs are usually 5km on Wednesday and 8-10km on Saturdays. On Wednesdays I’ve arranged for my parents to drop the kids to school and Friday nights their mom or my parents keep the kids for the night so that I can get out at the crack of dawn the next day for my run. Things will try to encroach on this time. The kids might want to stay home or have a morning activity, but I do not budge. This is my time. Daddies need exercise too. The discipline of running also strengthens my will and mental endurance.

  • I don’t work late or on weekends unless it’s an emergency.
  • Every Sunday I go to church. The most valuable thing about this ritual for me is the worship. Singing at the top of my lungs in praise to my God with a group of other Jesus enthusiasts lifts my spirit and renews my soul like nothing else.
  • At least every other Sunday I play football with my friends. This is my favourite form of exercise. Whereas, I run because I have to do something to stay fit, I would rather play football every day if I could. I feel great after a run but I do not get excited about going for a run.
  • Every month or so I have some social time with friends. It could be a date. It could be hanging out with a group. Sometimes I take a whole day off just to go to the beach with a friend and do nothing but laugh and play and sleep.

My current battle is getting enough sleep. The goal is to be asleep by 10pm, to get 7 hours sleep. The problem is getting the children to sleep on time, ironing their school clothes for the next morning and then not getting side-tracked. It’s a challenge.

On a more ad-hoc basis I get in some hiking, surfing or mountain-biking which I’m trying to make a more regular thing as being immersed in nature is very restorative for me on many levels. I also would like to have an annual vacation/retreat by myself. I started this last year after I realized I was crashing and burning and it was fantastic. I also highly recommend a weekly habit of doing something you love. Yoga, dance, an academic pursuit, gardening, reading, art… whatever… keep your passions alive.

So, my friends, sorry for the length of this one but I hope it has been helpful. I encourage you to have a concrete plan to invest in yourself on all levels. It’s not being selfish. A better you is better for everyone!

Joyfully,

Copyright 2017, Matik Nicholls