DESCRIPTION: Participants will be taken on a journey of reviewing 2022 with the Holy Spirit and looking forward to 2023. Expect to come away with a clear theme for 2023 and goals/next-steps for the various areas of your life (spiritual, vocation, family, health, relationships). All of this will take place in an environment of peace and a praying community that will leave you empowered and refreshed for the year ahead.
TARGET AUDIENCE: This workshop is open to anyone seeking to walk more intentionally in their God-ordained purpose in 2023. All are welcome. It is especially geared toward those who want to accelerate their growth in Christ.
COST: $100TT
CONTACT: Email celestintricia@gmail.com or WhatsApp/call 868-761-5342
In 2020, COVID-19 reset the planet and for many of us it should have been a wake-up call to the reality of the hurried and exhausted lives we were living. I am currently listening to The Power of Vulnerability by Dr. Brene Brown and totally enjoying it. She manages to share powerful truths in a way that is both funny and thought-provoking. Highly recommended! She discusses 10 guideposts for wholehearted living and one of them is “cultivating play and rest and letting go of exhaustion as a status symbol and productivity as self-worth”. I found this to be a powerful guide to a better quality of life. But what struck a deeper chord with me was how much more relevant this is in light of the COVID-19 pandemic. It was as if we simply refused to shut down, so the universe hit Ctrl-Alt-Delete and forced us to end all our tasks. Then the universe said, “Your move.”
Unfazed, we replied, “Pffft. We re-launch all our tasks aaaand we add the Zoom upgrade on top of that. So there!”
I believe the universe is now shaking its head and saying, “Puny humans.”
Suffice to say, I don’t think we’ve gotten the message. We are addicts. Addicted to busyness and distraction. Brene has already called us out on one of the ingredients that can keep us addicted to lives of busyness and distraction:
A lack of self-worth. We are constantly trying to produce enough to gain the approval of others and justify our existence to ourselves.
I would proffer a second:
Pain avoidance. Keeping busy is just another means of avoiding the internal demons that haunt our souls when things get quiet. We haven’t faced them, and we don’t want to. So, we keep busy.
The point is our exhausting pace of life is just a symptom of our brokenness or incompleteness. This is not an indictment. This is just the reality of being human. We all have brokenness that needs healing. We each have our unique brand of fractures and some of us are further along the path to healing than others but none of us are issue-free. We do have a choice though… a significant and powerful choice: will we continue as we are or press into the work of inner healing?
I believe that this is the gift of 2020 to humanity – a wake-up call to action. We got a glimpse of ourselves in the mirror and having seen the truth we are faced with a choice. The question is do we want to be more? Will we choose to be more? Enter, the second part of my advice:
BE MORE
I always remember a powerful perspective that I heard from Dr. Ruth Haley Barton that went something like this, “A powerful yes, enables you to say no.” She explained that in the work of doing less we need to be able to say no to things, even good things, and what gives us that power to say no is a strong yes to something else. Perhaps we are asked to attend a social event for work but it’s the same night as we promised to watch a movie with our daughter. Usually, we rationalize that we can always do the movie another time or we have to show up to get a chance at that promotion or maybe we tragically try to do both. But if we have a powerful yes to the kind of parent we want to be, or the kind of relationship we want to have with our children, then saying no to the social event is really saying YES to something bigger!
I want to leave you with some powerful things to say YES to and reasons to do less in 2021. I have found these to be useful in my life. Perhaps one or two will resonate with you:
Doing less is an act of faith. Saying no to some activities or responsibilities is saying YES to a life of supernatural productivity. When the Israelites observed the Sabbath in the desert for 40 years, they had to believe that every Friday (or whatever day before Sabbath) God would supernaturally send more manna than usual and that it would keep for the next day unlike all the other days of the week when it would become full of maggots. Saying no to work was saying, “YES God I believe in Your provision!” Later on, they had to believe that God would take care of the survival of their businesses that would close for Sabbath while the competition remained open. The same can be said of us today. If we choose to do less (even observe a Sabbath, like I do) in obedience to God’s call to rest, then we enter into a beautifully supernatural faith-walk with God as He steps in to do more with less than we could do working ourselves ragged. I have seen this at work in my life and I know you will too if you try it.
Doing less is an act of obedience to your call. The most important call on our lives is not what God has called us to do but who God has called us to be. If we have a big YES for living a life fully authentic to who God has called us to be then saying no to anything that is less than that, no matter how attractive, is easy. It is also a much more joyful way to live. Doing things that just aren’t who we are to please people or help a friend out or to get ahead socially or financially is draaaaining. We can fool ourselves into thinking it is a stepping stone to what we really want to do but it isn’t.
Doing less is a commitment to a higher quality of work/worship. The work we do is an act of worship. It is glorifying God with the talents, personality and time He has given us. If we have a big YES to the quality of our worship through our work, then we will sacrifice quantity for quality. We all know what it feels like to be rushing from project to project and meeting to meeting always giving just enough of our attention and effort to move it along but never enough to be truly creative or extraordinary. Wouldn’t it be more God-honouring (not to mention personally fulfilling) to do our best work? To do work that is truly meaningful and transformative?
Doing less is a commitment to a higher quality of relationships/life. All relationships require investing time to build connection and intimacy. Setting aside dedicated time to invest in the people closest to us and being present with them is a big YES to a more fulfilling life. They say the quality of our life is the sum of the quality of our relationships. We all know this is true. Just like we know that we cannot build meaningful relationships if we never have time to take our spouse to dinner, or play board games with the kids, or just listen to our direct reports without simultaneously checking emails or text-messaging. No to constant busyness is a big YES to better relationships.
Doing less is a commitment to spiritual growth. I have read many books about seeking God and one of the things all the authors agree on is that busyness and distraction are the enemies of spiritual growth. Saying no to a life of constant busyness and distraction is saying a big YES to more of God and more of God in us. Some of the things that require us to be fully present and undistracted are: practicing gratitude, reviewing our day with God, two-way prayer (as opposed to rattling off a monologue without waiting for a response), meditating on scripture. Getting away from the noise of life and getting with God is a prerequisite for becoming present to the places in our lives that need His touch and direction and bringing them into His Presence for guidance, redemption and restoration. You may think that you have too much to do to spend time in ’wasted’ activity like prayer for more than 15 minutes but you will be surprised at the impact you will have on your world when you spend more time with God. Try it and see!
In summary:
MORE BEING, LESS DOING
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Yes I do, but I didn’t always feel that way about some aspects of our new normal. My new perspective on work from home started with this statement:
“Daddy, you have to help me with a PowerPoint presentation for school.”
“OK, bring your laptop next to mine and you will follow what I do.”
As I sat showing my 12-year-old the magic of animation and the art of the layout, I felt oddly useful. Finally, a school project that is super relevant to the real world and that I’m really good at! I got to pass on my knowledge to the next generation.
Time travel back to over a thousand years ago, and the two of us could have been putting horseshoes on a horse or kneading dough for the family’s famous bread that supplied the whole village. Back then (in the 1800s, before the industrial revolution and urbanization), work was mainly done by hand at home. People lived where they worked. Turn… turn… turn… and here we are again living and working in the same location, albeit in a completely new way. Truly there is nothing new under the sun, as King Solomon would say.
I understood in a new way what had been lost with the industrial revolution and lost again with women heading into the workforce en masse in more recent times. I remembered reading about Corrie Ten Boom and her family of watchmakers, living atop their little shop. I remembered reading about the family rituals where work and leisure intermingled like a tapestry, and children grew up observing not just a tiny slice of their parents’ lives, but the gamut of dealing with customers, handling crises and honing their craft. The scope of learning was entirely more holistic and relevant to real life.
I came out of my reverie with a new perspective. I had been bemoaning the loss of separation between work and family life and the stress of sharing my work space with my children. BUT… what if there is a golden opportunity here that we have been completely missing? Consider this with me…
Every time our children crash our Zoom meeting is not a cause for embarrassment or anxiety, it is actually an opportunity for them to learn how work gets done in the real world. A world they will soon inherit. The type of work and the tools may be different, but the core lessons are not much different to managing the family farm.
In a counter-intuitive way (given that this virtual world has been vilified as one that alienates), we have also removed some of the distance that separated us from our co-workers and customers. In that bygone era of village life, co-workers and sometimes customers became like family. Inviting someone into your shop was almost the same as inviting them into your home after all. Life was lived in closer proximity. There is an opportunity now to invite each other again into our virtual spaces… to welcome it instead of resisting it. There is the opportunity to discuss a piece of work with your colleague, for example, with the sound of your daughter’s piano lessons in the background. “Wow, she has improved so much since last time!” we would remark humorously, remembering the cacophony that jarred our last meeting. The world needs more proximity in my estimation. Separation allow us to co-exist without ever really knowing each other. I believe many of our societal schisms and racial tensions would evaporate in time if we simply got to know each other better.
There is power in perspective. There is a moving scene in the bible where Joseph confronts his brothers who sold him into slavery. Many, many years have passed. Joseph has experienced servitude and imprisonment but comes through it all through the divine hand and favor of God. As he stands reunited with his brothers, the highest official over the kingdom of Egypt after Pharoah, he reveals himself to them and they are understandably afraid. To reassure them he makes this monumental statement, “Do not fear, for am I in the place of God? As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.” Joseph had a different perspective.
We too today, need to bring to the world a different perspective. Paul said that for those who love God and are called according to His purpose, all things work together for good. This is the truth that Joseph demonstrated and understood as he looked back over his life. As we stand in the midst of this global pandemic, we should have a keen sense that, this too is working for God’s good purpose. Wrapped inside the pandemic package are gold nuggets that it is our privilege as sons of God to prophetically discern and mine.
It’s a great time to be alive! What shift in perspective can you make to help you engage more powerfully with the purpose of God at this time?
To receive more content like this in your inbox and to receive a free e-copy of my book, The Primacy of The Voice of God – Elevating the Word of God to Its Rightful Position, please subscribe to www.authenticjoy.org.
Self-preservation is a natural instinct. While, in the majority of today’s societies protecting oneself from physical harm is not a daily concern, our natural instincts have adapted and remain relevant to the corporate arena where we fight to preserve our jobs and our income.
Unfortunately, we have become very short-sighted where this is concerned. Daily, I see people at all levels of the corporate world, from workers to managers to shareholders, make decisions that may reap short term gains, but in the long run are self-destructive. Let me illustrate:
Some workers find a variety of ways to do work in overtime that could be done during normal working hours. This may result in thousands of extra dollars in their pocket every month but what is the effect on the profitability of the company that provides their livelihood? When they and thousands of their co-workers are without jobs, what next?
Unions encourage these same employees to agitate for more pay and turn a blind eye to corruption and unproductive practices as they focus on collecting their dues. I wonder if they consider that workers that are unemployed can no longer pay union dues. The chickens always return home to roost.
Management is by no means innocent of this destructive virus of looking after #1 at the expense of others. How many managers and supervisors are unwilling to stand up to shareholders and take a stand for what is right or what is in the best interest of the company because they are afraid of losing their jobs? Everybody tows the line to look like a star for a day and hopefully move up the corporate ladder. ‘Our people are our most important assets’, ‘we value our people’ and similar slogans have become sad buzz words in some companies where workers are forced into working long hours with ever-increasing job descriptions and no training under threat of losing their jobs.
Then there are the shareholders who want all their dividends NOW. There is no reinvestment in the sustainability of the business for the next 10 or 20 years. Shareholders with this type of short-term mindset are the most destructive force in the business as this culture permeates down through the whole organization. Often this is accompanied by an autocratic leadership style where the directors see their role as performance (slave)drivers who keep the managers on their toes. Neither poor performance nor differing views are tolerated and there isn’t an ear for feedback from the ground. Directors are not partners with the executive to craft a sustainable business but rather task masters to ensure maximum (short-term) returns to the shareholders’ pockets.
Maybe I have painted an overly pessimistic picture but the stories I read in the newspapers seem to bear evidence that I’m not far off from reality. We have to begin to look beyond ourselves. A new business model needs to arise. All the stakeholders need to become partners in sustainable value creation. Shareholders, managers, employees, unions… forging a sustainable future together. Our survival depends on it.
Joyfully,
Copyright 2018, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.
Greetings my joy-filled readers. First, I must apologize for being MIA for a couple of weeks. My unplanned hiatus is in fact the subject of today’s blog. The story begins with me heading to work one day feeling distracted, disconnected from God and just a little bit anxious. I had stumbled into a vicious cycle of experimenting with social media ads as a way to market my new book –Authentic Joy– (how’s that for a shameless plug lol) and then constantly checking to see how my posts were performing and how my sales were going (or not going). Add to that ongoing WhatsApp messaging (aka my WhatsAddiction) which more and more I have begun to use to for business purposes as well. And add to that a slew of deadlines and crises at work and you begin to get the picture.
My dilemma is a common one I assume. I would like nothing better than to just write blogs and books and leave the nitty gritty like marketing to somebody else but unfortunately there is no ‘somebody else’. That’s just par for the self-publishing course. Every article and book that I’ve read on the topic says the same thing, “Books don’t sell themselves.” However, this is not a full-time job for me, so I have to do this on my personal time which has resulted lately in me being ‘that guy’; the guy who always has his head in his phone.
In the end I just had to take a break. I just stopped everything. I stopped blogging. I stopped checking my book sales and book ranking. I stopped checking Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn. I stopped checking how many people were viewing, liking or commenting. I stopped it all. What I really needed to check was myself. Reassess things. Ask myself some probing questions…. “Was this what I really wanted for my life when I started all this?” “What was God saying to me?” “How could I walk in faith in this situation, as opposed to trying to make everything happen myself without God or, doing nothing in vain hope?”
The first thing that was loud and clear was that I needed to stop the obsessive checking. Emails, messages, likes and whatever else do not need to be checked every 5 minutes Matik! The more I obsessed the more I could literally feel myself drifting from the peace of God. It was like a growing jittery unease in my soul. You cannot walk with God and be incessantly distracted. You just can’t. If you are satisfied with being with God on a Sunday and a few minutes each day during your bedtime prayers and daily scripture reading, then you can tweet and post and forward memes to your heart’s content. But if like me you are striving to walk in the Presence 24/7 then you have to cultivate a habit of being present to what God is saying and doing in you and around you.
Secondly, God spoke through my girlfriend. I’m blessed to have a partner who has the gift of keen spiritual ears. She said that I need to give thanks. I had not stopped to acknowledge what an accomplishment being published really was, especially in the light of the obstacles I faced to get here. Most importantly, I had not tangibly acknowledged that I owed this achievement all to my Heavenly Father. He had seen me through a tortuous road and brought me out with a testimony of His goodness!
Next, my mother relayed some advice that two people had given her for me; feed the poor. This is something I have been trying to cultivate as a habit for years, but I could never find a way as every food provision programme I checked operated during the week when I was at work or on the way to work. But, I recently heard about a place where I can reach the homeless on a Saturday. So, no more excuses! I don’t think you can really claim an authentic faith unless you take care of the most vulnerable in society.
Finally, God told me to take my focus off this book and get cracking on my next book. I smiled at this one. I believe that God sometimes releases our blessings slowly because we need a little discomfort to get off our butt and do what He has called us to do. Imagine if my first book became a bestseller overnight… How many creative works might remain unfulfilled while I bask in the spoils of past labours… God’s plans for us are always bigger than our plans for ourselves!
Funny how while I was focused on marketing my book, God was focused on other things. So, I’m back from my hiatus but my priorities have been shifted. I’m excited to see what happens next!
Joyfully,
Copyright Matik Nicholls, 2018. All rights reserved.
Greetings from beautiful Lake Tahoe. The snow-covered trees look like a fairy tale. Well, my first day skiing was a disaster. I SUCK at skiing. I spent the whole day falling on the beginner run. By the end of the day I knew that if I wanted to enjoy the rest of my days on the slopes I had to switch back to what I was reasonably good at – snowboarding. I went to the rental store and traded in my skiis for a board.
Day 2 was epic! After a couple runs on the beginner slope to refresh my memory, I was off to the intermediate runs. It was a good reminder that you don’t have to be good at everything. You will be more successful and have more fun in life if you play to your strengths.
Sometimes this is counter-cultural. We are trained to focus on our weaknesses. The focus of every appraisal and all professional development seems to be on what we need to improve. But that is not the only way and maybe not even the best way to approach your job or even your life. There is another school of though that says that your strengths (or gifts) are the most valuable assets that you bring to your work and your life and it is usually what gives you the greatest fulfilment. So in every situation look to see how you can best utilize your strengths and where you see a hole that you can’t fill, team up with someone with a strength in that area.
There is an online assessment tool that helps you to find your top strengths; www.gallupstrengthscenter.com. The results are not always what you expect. For instance, my top strength is Connectedness…. I never thought of connectedness as a strength. Then I read the description:
Things happen for a reason. You are sure of it. You are sure of it because in your soul you know that we are all connected. Yes, we are individuals, responsible for our own judgments and in possession of our own free will, but nonetheless we are part of something larger. Some may call it the collective unconscious. Others may label it spirit or life force. But whatever your word of choice, you gain confidence from knowing that we are not isolated from one another or from the earth and the life on it. This feeling of Connectedness implies certain responsibilities. If we are all part of a larger picture, then we must not harm others because we will be harming ourselves. We must not exploit because we will be exploiting ourselves. Your awareness of these responsibilities creates your value system. You are considerate, caring, and accepting. Certain of the unity of humankind, you are a bridge builder for people of different cultures. Sensitive to the invisible hand, you can give others comfort that there is a purpose beyond our humdrum lives. The exact articles of your faith will depend on your upbringing and your culture, but your faith is strong. It sustains you and your close friends in the face of life’s mysteries.
Life becomes a lot more joyful when we know our strengths and play to them! See you soon, I’m heading back up the mountain!
Today I was reminded to start my day with inspiration. Before I feed my body with eggs and sausages and before I feed my mind with social media, I need to feed my soul with inspiration.
The sky looked like an artist’s impression. The wind had painted beautiful sweeping flows with the clouds from horizon to horizon. Meanwhile, in the valley where I stood sunlight raced down the side of the mountains and embraced the treetops, leaving a trail of golden glitter in its wake. The cold morning air smelled of woody trees and freshly cut grass. The kind of scent that made you breathe long, deep breaths with your eyes closed. And birds. Everywhere. Humming birds zipping by chit chittering. Blackbirds stalked their territory. A Kiskidee darted at a bug on the ground and then sat on a branch displaying its prize naturally attracting would-be thieves. Further away familiar calls rang out from birds I recognized only by sound.
Those are some words I was inspired to pen in October 2016. I chose to share it today in the hope that it would serve as a source of inspiration to start your day.
Going after our joyful life goals with somebody (or somebodies) else exponentially increases our chances for success. Think about trying to work out at home versus with a buddy in the gym or playing football with your friends versus running alone. Your goal could be taking a class or learning a new skill or starting a business. Whatever it is, going after it with someone else makes it much more likely that you will succeed. Company makes everything more fun and we are all going to have those days when we just aren’t motivated and that’s when having a buddy will be indispensable. They will give us that encouragement or buff (Trini for scolding) just when we need it.
Synergize
We will always have more things that we want to accomplish than we have time to accomplish but there’s a trick to getting more done without living on a treadmill of to-dos. It’s all about finding the things that complement each other. This applies on many levels. To continue from the examples above…. It would be a huge win-win if couples exercised together or took a class together. The synergy between your relationship goals and your physical fitness or academic goals will almost ensure significant progress in both.
There are other types of synergies as well. For instance, understanding how your body, mind, emotions and spirit all feed off each other will accelerate your progress. For example, a run in the morning may energize you and start off your day with a positive win. Doing your most important work first thing in the morning to capitalize on that high-energy time might be a good idea.
Another example: If you have a goal to be more present and patient and loving with your children, a regular spiritual practice of prayer or meditation will help tremendously. In fact, regular exercise, good eating habits and regular spiritual renewal will make you feel good and feel good about yourself and fuel all the other goals in your life.
Finally, you can also synergize your time. Examples: listening to audiobooks if you have a long drive to work, reading a book while waiting at the doctor’s office, scheduling a nap between dropping and picking up a kid to and from their activity (my favourite 😊).
I hope these two tips help you to make your year an unprecedented success!
Last week I blogged about not stretching myself too thin for Christmas. Well guess what? I didn’t listen to my own advice. I got caught up in a million things from something as seemingly innocuous as setting up a new iPhone (amazing how much time that sucks up!) to trying to get in some more online classes. All this on the back of the pile of year end work deliverables and helping the little ones prepare for exams.I hit the wall hard.
One day I just realized that not only was my body tired from lack of sleep but also my mind and emotions were tired. So that day I decided to have a crisis. I put my foot down (on myself) and put the phone down and got into bed at 9:00pm that night.
The next morning, I took time to feast on the view right outside my bedroom window and instead of playing a podcast or audiobook in the truck I put on my gangster rap and crunked out on the way to work.
As I was reminded in a book on coaching that I’m reading; information is not what makes us act, it’s motivation. That’s often why, although we know what we should do, we only take action when we feel enough pain to motivate us to get off our butts.
But I don’t want to be in that reactive mode. I want to be proactive. I want to act before the pain. I want to take time to renew before I burn out. I want to do those sit-ups before I get the pot belly. So what do I do? I have to envision the consequences of inaction and create a crisis in my head.
That’s what I’m doing when I say, “Good grief, look at the size of my belly!”. To which some might say, “Please Matik!”. That’s what it takes to stay ahead of the curve sometimes. Especially, when the action needed is not something you looove to do.
So, let’s go create a crisis today in order to walk into the future that we want for ourselves tomorrow.
The pervasive retirement paradigm in society today is the biggest con that has ever been pulled on the workforce! Okay maybe I’m exaggerating a bit but hear me out…
The concept of working and saving for roughly forty years of your life to then relax and enjoy your hobbies and travel the world is fundamentally flawed for two reasons:
Firstly, why wait?! Seriously, why should we sweat and stress in the forty prime years of our lives (in terms our physical health) to then pursue our dreams in our declining years? This makes no sense. I have many friends who are not waiting (according to their Facebook pics anyway) and they should be applauded. There is no reason to delay pursuing your passions. DO IT NOW!
Begin strategizing ways to configure your life to achieve YOUR GOALS not only your employer’s. There are lots of good rexcuses (excuses masquerading as reasons) why we cannot do what we are really passionate about of course. After all, you have children and a mortgage and who is going to pay you your current salary to be the next Anthony Bourdain? I can totally relate.
The problem is that we need to overhaul our thinking. You can have more of your time under your control than you think. Getting a hold of this book is a good start to re-wiring your brain: “The 4-Hour Work Week: Escape the 9-5, Live Anywhere and Join the New Rich” by Tim Ferriss.
Why not live your most passionate life now? Do you really want to start enjoying life at sixty? Will you even reach fifty? So go on…..get off your butt and make a plan. Book that trip to see the Northern Lights! Take that one-month spiritual retreat to Thailand! Plan a weekend dinner date in Paris or Trinidad Hyatt! Buy those expensive golf clubs and start going once a week! Buy the electric guitar and start taking lessons online! In 2016 I did a two-week surfing retreat in Costa Rica. One of the best two weeks of my life!
The second problem with retirement is the vast wealth of knowledge and experience that goes down the drain. Retirement age is the prime time for giving back. Years of hard knocks and application of knowledge and skill should have produced a person that is not only wise but also mature.
Now, I do not mean that people should continue working in the same mode as before, clinging to position and power. The current classic example of this is Robert Mugabe in Zimbabwe. We have too many leaders that have stifled the growth of companies and countries and churches by making themselves indispensable. This tragedy is all around us in Trinidad and Tobago. Why do the same old names keep recycling in our political parties and high-profile energy committees until they literally cannot walk anymore? It seems politicians and religious leaders only change when the incumbent dies.
What I am proposing is a transition to a mentorship role. Behind the scenes, men and women with deep knowledge and insight; veterans who have been through the good, the bad and the ugly should be ensuring the next generation benefits from their knowledge. This passing of the baton is what builds a nation. We need young innovative people with fresh ideas and zeal and energy, unfettered by tradition and history, to be in the driver’s seat while the wise and mature elders guide and coach in the background.
In our families the same is needed. Granny and grandpa should not be off golfing and ballroom dancing 24/7 or worst yet in a home for the aged somewhere. Their guiding hands and support are needed today more than ever while at the same time the younger generation needs to chart a new course in this new world.
In summary, do not put off your most passionate life for after sixty. Instead, begin to strategize around how in your later years you will help the next generation to surpass your accomplishments!