Copyright 2020, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.
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Some weeks ago, I was led to study the book of Ezekiel. It’s a hard book. The prophet Ezekiel is sent to deliver a word of judgment to Israel while they are in Babylonian exile. The picture God paints of Israel’s departure from Him is stinging :
Ezekiel 16:30-33 (ESV)
30 “How sick is your heart, declares the Lord God, because you did all these things, the deeds of a brazen prostitute, 31 building your vaulted chamber at the head of every street, and making your lofty place in every square. Yet you were not like a prostitute, because you scorned payment. 32 Adulterous wife, who receives strangers instead of her husband! 33 Men give gifts to all prostitutes, but you gave your gifts to all your lovers, bribing them to come to you from every side with your whorings.
God actually said that Israel’s sin was so bad that they made Sodom look good! Of course, as I read these things, I never thought they applied to me. Not me. If anything, I put myself in the place of Ezekiel in the story, conveniently forgetting that just last month I got a very serious warning from God in a dream reminding me that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God. Yes that’s right… It took less than 30 days for me to lose that sense of fallibility and dependency on grace and to step into pride. It is much easier than we would like to admit (that I would to admit) to become comfortable in a state of sin, all the while believing we are right with God.
As I read God’s indictments to Israel, three passages stood out to me:
Ezekiel 5:7-8 (ESV)
7 Therefore thus says the Lord God: Because you are more turbulent than the nations that are all around you, and have not walked in my statutes or obeyed my rules, and have not even acted according to the rules of the nations that are all around you,8 therefore thus says the Lord God: Behold, I, even I, am against you. And I will execute judgments in your midst in the sight of the nations.
Ezekiel 13:2-7 (ESV)
2 “Son of man, prophesy against the prophets of Israel, who are prophesying, and say to those who prophesy from their own hearts: ‘Hear the word of the Lord!’3 Thus says the Lord God, Woe to the foolish prophets who follow their own spirit, and have seen nothing! 4 Your prophets have been like jackals among ruins, O Israel. 5 You have not gone up into the breaches, or built up a wall for the house of Israel, that it might stand in battle in the day of the Lord. 6 They have seen false visions and lying divinations. They say, ‘Declares the Lord,’ when the Lord has not sent them, and yet they expect him to fulfill their word. 7 Have you not seen a false vision and uttered a lying divination, whenever you have said, ‘Declares the Lord,’ although I have not spoken?”
Ezekiel 16:48-51 (ESV)
48 As I live, declares the Lord God, your sister Sodom and her daughters have not done as you and your daughters have done. 49 Behold, this was the guilt of your sister Sodom: she and her daughters had pride, excess of food, and prosperous ease, but did not aid the poor and needy. 50 They were haughty and did an abomination before me. So I removed them, when I saw it. 51 Samaria has not committed half your sins. You have committed more abominations than they, and have made your sisters appear righteous by all the abominations that you have committed.
If we are to allow the word of God to reveal our blind spots and transform us, then we have to prayerfully reflect on scripture even when we do not think it applies to us. In this case:
Are we lawless? Are we living by our own rules instead of God’s?
Are the words we speak out of our own desires of our hearts? Do we speak God’s words or our own?
Are we comfortable and prideful? Are we living in excess while indifferent to the poor and needy?
I encourage all of us to really spend some time before God with these questions. It is way easier to see the log in the other person’s eye. Much more humility and painful self-awareness are necessary to see the splinters in our own eyes and to allow God to remove them.
For those that would allow God to search their hearts and make a change there is good news:
Ezekiel 18:30-32 (ESV)
30 “Therefore I will judge you, O house of Israel, every one according to his ways, declares the Lord God. Repent and turn from all your transgressions, lest iniquity be your ruin. 31 Cast away from you all the transgressions that you have committed, and make yourselves a new heart and a new spirit! Why will you die, O house of Israel? 32 For I have no pleasure in the death of anyone, declares the Lord God; so turn, and live.”
This is great news. God’s anger is but for a moment but his mercy and love from everlasting to everlasting! He only disciplines those He loves, and His steadfast love endures forever! Let us be zealous to examine our hearts and turn from our transgressions. Our God takes no pleasure in the death of anyone. Let us turn and live!
Copyright 2020, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.
To receive more content like this in your inbox and to receive a free e-copy of my book, The Primacy of The Voice of God – Elevating the Word of God to Its Rightful Position, please subscribe to www.authenticjoy.org.
Seven years ago, my life was dramatically changed when I discovered this truth:
“It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”
C.S. Lewis
(I didn’t read it from Lewis’s book, The Weight of Glory, but from John Piper in his message on Christian Hedonism. You can listen to it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-cRkUt4glaE)
I had spent more than twenty years trying to reconcile my innate desire to be happy with my desire to please God. The fact is that the world is FILLED with unhappy (or at best mildly happy) Christians trying to convince people that not drinking and not having sex and not partying and going to church and reading the bible and praying is the most enjoyable way to live. Pffft. Please. We are not convincing anyone. I know I wasn’t convincing myself… Until, one day, I experienced the Presence of God. In that very moment, I felt like I had taken the first desperate breath of air after years of being held under water. That life-giving gasp signaled that I would indeed live and not die. That I could be an unbelievably happy Christian.
To this day, the Presence of God is the ONLY thing that has eclipsed the copious worldly pleasures that I have tasted. The sad thing is that Christians who have experienced the fellowship of the Presence of God are rare. I don’t care how great the worship session was or how much the preacher blew your mind, without God’s tangible presence touching our lives we are still dead. D.E.A.D.
In Psalm 16:11b David says:
in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.
This truth is worthy of a lifetime of pondering and pursuit. Consider these statements:
Fullness of joy – no joy lacking, perfect joy, complete fulfillment.
Pleasures forevermore – eternal bless, unending happiness, delights upon delights.
This is where every Christian should reside. When this type of joy exudes from our soul, then the world will know the glory and worth of our King! We should not settle for less. We cannot settle for less! There can be no waivers or qualifications! Nothing less than His Presence with us can be accepted as the normal Christian life. This was Moses’ prayer. We will not go without Your Presence! We have become altogether too content to go on without God. Go on with our worship sessions. Go on with our oratorical theatrical sermons. Go on with our well-choreographed shows utterly devoid of the Presence and power of God.
When the glory cloud fell on the temple that Solomon built, the priests could not even stand to minister! Has the Presence ever brought us to our knees? God has left the building. The church has become a dead academic institution of biblical doctrinal propagation. Tragic.
There is something called the existential reality of God. Few have experienced it. God can be felt, heard and seen. Saul saw a blinding light and heard a voice. That encounter so transformed his life that he left behind the Christian-killing Pharisee of Pharisees Saul and became the apostle Paul – commissioned by God. This existential reality of God has practically left the planet and the responsibility for that tragedy falls squarely on our shoulders.
My exhortation to us today is, “Do not settle!” Do not settle for dead religion. He has promised that if we seek Him with all our heart, we will find Him! Let us make an unbreakable oath with ourselves to become lifelong seekers! Whatever little caresses of the Spirit that I have felt, have left me hungry for more. Whatever little tastes of His love that I have sampled, have left me completely wrecked and longing for more of Him and Him alone. Whatever whispers of His voice that have broken through my consciousness, have left me yearning just to hear His voice.
Do not settle for church as normal! Do not settle for a mediocre Christian life! Do not settle for being a good Christian with a happy family and a pet charity. God is so much more! Seek Him until you find Him. We are meant to live in the unspeakable joy of the Presence of God! Anything else is a wasted existence. Any other life pursuit is a side-issue.
Copyright 2020, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.
To receive more content like this in your inbox and to receive a free e-copy of my book, The Primacy of The Voice of God – Elevating the Word of God to Its Rightful Position, please subscribe to www.authenticjoy.org.
Two weeks ago, I took two of my sons to the beach. Having checked the swell height online, I felt the conditions might be right for them to tackle waves a bit bigger than they were used to. As soon as we arrived and I saw that beautiful sight of wave after wave breaking left and right over the reef, I was stoked. It had been a long time since I had seen such lovely peeling waves at this spot. I was immediately taken back to my younger years of days spent taking wave after wave until my arms felt like spaghetti and the sun went down. Those were good days.
I think it would be fair to say that while I was excited for the boys to experience the same thrills as I had experienced many times at this spot, I was probably more excited to finally surf some real waves. This was rare for me because our surf sessions were usually planned around the skill level of the boys.
As we paddled out, I took the lead, showing them the best route through the reef. However, they struggled to make it through the white water, and I had to go back for them and coach/assist them until we made it past the breakers. My elder boy quickly came to the conclusion that he was just going to watch us as there was no way that he was going to be taking any waves if it meant battling through those waves every time. There were about seven guys and one gal out, so I let us drift down a bit with the current that ran parallel to the shore until we were out of their way.
By this time, my youngest was looking at the waves reeling in apprehensively, but I kept encouraging him. I knew that he could do it. A smaller wave came, and I pushed him into it. He got it! My hopes for the day increased exponentially. But one hour, a few big sets, and a few wipe-outs later I was far less hopeful. No matter how much encouragement I gave him, he was not ready mentally. He would paddle for the wave but back down every time. Eventually, I gave up and we went back inside.
He was dejected. He complained and whined as we paddled in and seemed to think that the turn of events was all my fault. I was aggravated and annoyed. The more he complained, the curter and angrier my retorts became. After we made it back to shore and after another hour or so of sulking, he finally asked, “So what are we going to do now?”
“You want to go back out and try again?” I asked.
“Ok,” he said.
As we started wading back out with our boards in hand, both of us upset, he said, “Daddy, you are not very encouraging.”
“What! All I have been doing whole day is encouraging you!” I said, flabbergasted and affronted.
“That’s not what I mean,” he continued. “You don’t encourage me when I’m down.”
As the words landed in my heart, I knew that this was the moment. This was the moment in every disagreement where you can choose love or ego. I could choose to hold on to my right to a different opinion. I could choose to hold on to my offence. I could choose to hold on to my position of parental power. And there have been many times that I have held onto those things. This time, however, I allowed the Spirit to lead and my ego to die. I did not feel particularly moved or compassionate at first. It was just a decision to really hear his point of view.
“OK, I understand what you mean now,” I said.
“So, what now? Are you going to be different?” he pressed further, giving me further opportunities to hold onto offence.
“Yes I am.” I said with a cathartic exhalation and simultaneous release of my view, my right to continue being angry.
And as I reached across to give him a hug that was when I felt the love and compassion flow from God, through me, to my son. Immediately the atmosphere shifted and even though he eventually concluded that the waves were just too big for him, it was not too big for us – our love made it through.
Letting go of ego is not easy. Perhaps, it is easiest with our children. But what about with our spouse? Or with our co-worker? Or with that person who has a different political persuasion?
Perhaps the fight that God is calling us to in this season is not that ‘righteous’ battle out there that we may be caught up with but the internal war to the death of self?
Luke 9:23-24 (ESV)
23 And he said to all, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. 24 For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it.
Perhaps we need less of being right and more of being love?
Copyright 2020, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.
To receive more content like this in your inbox and to receive a free e-copy of my book, The Primacy of The Voice of God – Elevating the Word of God to Its Rightful Position, please subscribe to www.authenticjoy.org.
Oh God, my God, Your gentle waves have crashed over me.
Every touch a flood of love and mercy.
Wash over me my King.
Soothe my hassled soul with Your caresses.
How apt am I to leave Your Presence;
How quick my feet do wonder from Your intimacy.
Hold me, Jesus, hold me.
Strengthen me, sweet Holy Spirit,
To hold His gaze a little longer;
To linger in His fiery love.
Yes, I want to call all the others to know You like I do.
Yes, I want to strut about the house in Daddy’s shoes and jacket.
Yes, I want them to know and behold – I am Your beloved son!
These pitiable desires of mine…
Oh save me from them all.
Increase my joy to maximum fullitude,
In those moments of tender touch.
Let these faux-noble desires of my heart,
Be washed away like writings in the sand,
As your waves crash over me.
Crash! Oh unspeakable joy!
Crash! Oh love divine!
Lead me into Your rest,
Where all desires are met;
Where striving ceases;
Where all is stillness.
In your arms I will make my final abode.
My Lord, my King, my Love, my All,
All is here in Your Presence.
I will stay Here forever.
Where else would I go?
Copyright 2020, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.
To receive more content like this in your inbox and to receive a free e-copy of my book, The Primacy of The Voice of God – Elevating the Word of God to Its Rightful Position, please subscribe to www.authenticjoy.org.
As I watch the unfolding US elections from the safety of my home in Trinidad & Tobago it seems to me as if American Christians have gone mad. I’m trying really hard to make sense of it (insert emoji of my brain sweating).
So far, I think I’ve figured out that there is one group for whom Mr. Trump is an Elijah-styled hero taking on all that is evil in America. His abrasive personality and speech can be overlooked or even condoned because they believe that’s what is required to fight against the evil forces that is arrayed against him. They even have prophecies to back it up.
Then there seems to be another group who are more focused on the behavior and character of the man. For them, Trump represents an icon of misogyny, bigotry and divisiveness. Any positive policy decisions cannot compensate for the mere force of negativity that pours forth from his speeches and twitter feed on a daily basis.
What’s interesting is that both of these groups are Christian. So, who is right? And does God care which side of the fence we fall on? I would like to propose that God is less concerned about our opinion of Trump and far more concerned about how we navigate this highly divisive issue.
Like it or not, one thing that Martin Luther’s reformation introduced into the church was the propensity to part ways when we disagree on issues. The existence of so many different denominations within the global church and the commensurate features of separation and castigation will not be a feature of the people that reigns after the return of Jesus. There is a unification of the church that must take place as the body matures into the fullness and stature of Christ.
However, many have interpreted this unification to mean that all will come to common agreement on THE TRUTH. This may happen, but I am fully convinced that there first must be a unification of hearts before there can be a unification of minds. The skill that the 21st century church has to learn; the lesson that God is orchestrating world events to allow us the opportunity to learn; is this: How to strongly disagree with each other while remaining in undiminished and loving covenant relationship.
The heart issue that God is putting His finger on, is how we treat the person that we disagree with on issues we feel very strongly about. Do we treat them with love and respect? Do we pursue deeper understanding and relationship? I believe 2020 has been deliberately designed by God as a year of reckoning. There has been no shortage of opportunities to part ways with our brothers and sisters:
Global pandemic: From God or from the enemy?
Wearing masks: Responsible act or sign of a lack of faith in God’s protection?
Ban on church congregation: Responsible community partnership or infringement on religious freedoms?
Black lives matter movement: An opportunity to show solidarity for victimized brothers or an evil spirit to be opposed?
Trump: Friend or foe?
I believe that this is a critical moment. The stance we choose toward that ‘other’ person is now under God’s microscope more than ever before.
For me, God’s corporate demand echoes the personal demand on my heart in my marriage. There are issues on which my wife and I have different views. We both have strong opinions. We both believe we are ‘right’. So, what do we do? Parting ways is not an option. Forcing the other person to comply with our way is also not an option. So, what are the options?
One of us could compromise. But if we both feel that we are doing what is right in God’s eyes then why should we go against our convictions?
We could avoid the issues that we disagree on entirely. But how do we move forward in true partnership if we never discuss tough issues. How do we move forward in partnership without making any decisions on what’s important or how to tackle problems?
It seems like a puzzle that has no solution, but I believe there is one! The solution for my marriage and for the global church is the same:
Choose to engage rather than to avoid.
Seek to listen and understand the other point of view rather than only to propagate yours.
Choose to discuss and collaborate without disrespecting, dishonouring and slandering.
Seek to mend fences and include those with different views rather than separate and divide.
Choose to live in the tension and unresolved-ness and patiently wait for God to work it out.
Choose to trust God to work His will in and through the other person’s beliefs and methodologies even if they are wrong.
Choose prayer and lovingkindness as your primary means of influencing situations rather than persuasion, lobbying or bullying. (Even when you have the power to get your way)
We, the church, are the ones charged with loving our enemies. We are the ones of whom Jesus said, “By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” (John 13:35) We are supposed to be the model; the leaders in humility, love and unity. We have been anything but… Our behavior on social media has been deplorable. We have led the way in bullying others to our beliefs. 2020 is our year to flip the script! It’s time to be the church!
To receive more content like this in your inbox and to receive a free e-copy of my book, The Primacy of The Voice of God – Elevating the Word of God to Its Rightful Position, please subscribe to www.authenticjoy.org.
Copyright 2020, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.
Yes I do, but I didn’t always feel that way about some aspects of our new normal. My new perspective on work from home started with this statement:
“Daddy, you have to help me with a PowerPoint presentation for school.”
“OK, bring your laptop next to mine and you will follow what I do.”
As I sat showing my 12-year-old the magic of animation and the art of the layout, I felt oddly useful. Finally, a school project that is super relevant to the real world and that I’m really good at! I got to pass on my knowledge to the next generation.
Time travel back to over a thousand years ago, and the two of us could have been putting horseshoes on a horse or kneading dough for the family’s famous bread that supplied the whole village. Back then (in the 1800s, before the industrial revolution and urbanization), work was mainly done by hand at home. People lived where they worked. Turn… turn… turn… and here we are again living and working in the same location, albeit in a completely new way. Truly there is nothing new under the sun, as King Solomon would say.
I understood in a new way what had been lost with the industrial revolution and lost again with women heading into the workforce en masse in more recent times. I remembered reading about Corrie Ten Boom and her family of watchmakers, living atop their little shop. I remembered reading about the family rituals where work and leisure intermingled like a tapestry, and children grew up observing not just a tiny slice of their parents’ lives, but the gamut of dealing with customers, handling crises and honing their craft. The scope of learning was entirely more holistic and relevant to real life.
I came out of my reverie with a new perspective. I had been bemoaning the loss of separation between work and family life and the stress of sharing my work space with my children. BUT… what if there is a golden opportunity here that we have been completely missing? Consider this with me…
Every time our children crash our Zoom meeting is not a cause for embarrassment or anxiety, it is actually an opportunity for them to learn how work gets done in the real world. A world they will soon inherit. The type of work and the tools may be different, but the core lessons are not much different to managing the family farm.
In a counter-intuitive way (given that this virtual world has been vilified as one that alienates), we have also removed some of the distance that separated us from our co-workers and customers. In that bygone era of village life, co-workers and sometimes customers became like family. Inviting someone into your shop was almost the same as inviting them into your home after all. Life was lived in closer proximity. There is an opportunity now to invite each other again into our virtual spaces… to welcome it instead of resisting it. There is the opportunity to discuss a piece of work with your colleague, for example, with the sound of your daughter’s piano lessons in the background. “Wow, she has improved so much since last time!” we would remark humorously, remembering the cacophony that jarred our last meeting. The world needs more proximity in my estimation. Separation allow us to co-exist without ever really knowing each other. I believe many of our societal schisms and racial tensions would evaporate in time if we simply got to know each other better.
There is power in perspective. There is a moving scene in the bible where Joseph confronts his brothers who sold him into slavery. Many, many years have passed. Joseph has experienced servitude and imprisonment but comes through it all through the divine hand and favor of God. As he stands reunited with his brothers, the highest official over the kingdom of Egypt after Pharoah, he reveals himself to them and they are understandably afraid. To reassure them he makes this monumental statement, “Do not fear, for am I in the place of God? As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.” Joseph had a different perspective.
We too today, need to bring to the world a different perspective. Paul said that for those who love God and are called according to His purpose, all things work together for good. This is the truth that Joseph demonstrated and understood as he looked back over his life. As we stand in the midst of this global pandemic, we should have a keen sense that, this too is working for God’s good purpose. Wrapped inside the pandemic package are gold nuggets that it is our privilege as sons of God to prophetically discern and mine.
It’s a great time to be alive! What shift in perspective can you make to help you engage more powerfully with the purpose of God at this time?
To receive more content like this in your inbox and to receive a free e-copy of my book, The Primacy of The Voice of God – Elevating the Word of God to Its Rightful Position, please subscribe to www.authenticjoy.org.
Copyright 2020, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.
1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 He was in the beginning with God. 3 All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made. 4 In him was life, and the life was the light of men.
Jesus is the creative agent of the Trinity. He is the one who manifests things. He is the one who incarnates. As Jesus unfurled creation from himself it must have been a sight to behold! Then in a stroke of creative genius, He imbued mankind with two God-like qualities – authority and autonomy. We were delegated the responsibility of executing God’s rulership and we were given the freedom to exercise that authority as we saw fit. And then we did the unthinkable… We put ourselves out of congruence with the Word, disconnecting ourselves from the Life Source and thus disconnecting all of creation from the very source that upheld it. We introduced entropy – the continual and progressive decline of all creation into disorder. We introduced corruption. We introduced death.
So, what did Jesus do? He stepped into His disconnected creation to reconnect mankind with Himself. He incarnated Himself! John 1:14 (ESV):
And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth.
Jesus subjected Himself to the very futility, suffering and corruption that mankind introduced. Then, by His death, He took into Himself all those consequences of disconnection and cancelled its power. Death lost its sting. And then, with a final masterstroke, as He resurrected from the dead, He re-introduced His creative power into the earth by giving us the ability to reconnect to the Source of all Life! But more than that He has given us the responsibility for reconnecting the rest of creation back to this Source. Paul calls it the ministry of reconciliation.
But what does this ministry of reconciliation look like? In one place it is described as all the kingdoms of the world becoming the kingdoms of the Lord and of His Christ. In another place it is described as His glory covering the earth. In yet another description, His Spirit is poured out on all flesh.
In short, we have a mandate to reconnect everything to Jesus. Unfortunately, I do not think we have understood this mandate of reconciliation. Many of us have had an adversarial if not superior relationship with the disconnected world. Having been saved from that mess, we now look back on it with a sense of fear of re-infection. We protect our separation from the world at all costs, not realizing that ‘that mess’ needs us. In fact, that mess is our responsibility! Every place where there is corruption and disaster in this world is damning evidence that we have neglected or abandoned our assignment!
Romans 8: (ESV)
19 For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. 20 For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope 21 that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. 22 For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now.
Can you see that we are agents of freedom?! Can you see that our ascension to the full authority and effectiveness as sons and daughters of God is what all creation is eagerly longing for?!! Our mission is not to hide ourselves away! Our mission is to be light; to be salt; to be the yeast of the kingdom. We have to be in the midst of the darkness and mess and bring light and redemption to every sphere of life. We cower in fear of being infected by the world, not realizing that we are the ones that are supposed to be doing the infecting!
There are some of us who understand and embrace our redemptive assignment, but our effectiveness has been dismal at best. Why? Because we have been taking Christianity and religious doctrine and feeding programmes to the world instead of Christ. We have been obsessed with educating the world instead of redeeming it or focused on alleviating suffering rather than transforming men. Consider this: Jesus did not open a school, hospital or not-for-profit organization (at least not in the traditional sense). Instead He supernaturally eliminated ignorance, sickness and hunger everywhere He went. Every teaching burned the hearts of men. Every healing was miraculous. Every food distribution demonstrated a divine source of provision. Where is the supernatural demonstrated power of Jesus in our lives?
Christ is the life source. Our #1 priority is bringing people, systems and creation itself into direct contact with Christ. This necessitates His tangible presence in our lives. He has the redemptive power. It flows from Him. Many of us talk about Christ, even preach about Christ, but our words are hollow, and our lives lack any shred of evidence that His power is at work in us. Contrary to popular opinion, our ministry is not proselytizing! Oh no! His power and love must flow through us with such voltage that everywhere we go and everything we touch is reconnected to the source!
Our mission is to make His kingdom come on earth as it is in heaven. When Jesus interacted with people His life-giving authority was evident. He lived what He spoke. Everywhere He went, love flourished, sickness (corruption) ceased and lack turned to abundance. He is on the same mission today; except He has found it fitting that it takes place through us! Our mission should look like making Jesus evident. We must make Jesus manifest in us. Wherever we go disorder should be transformed to order, lack to abundance, death to life and darkness to light. We are His delegated agents of redemptive transformation!
To receive more content like this in your inbox and to receive a free e-copy of my book, “The Primacy of The Voice of God – Elevating the Word of God to Its Rightful Position”, please subscribe to www.authenticjoy.org.
Copyright 2020, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.
Last month my ex-wife, Sonji Delicia Nicholls (nee Daniel), passed away. It was the end of a five-year battle with cancer. Today’s blog is my small way of honouring her life but first a bit of back-story…
Sonji’s death and a couple other issues in my life have had me immobilized for a few weeks now. I struggled to write anything. I felt overwhelmed and when I get emotionally overwhelmed, I shut down. I retreated into my cave. In any case, what would I write about? I did not have any inspiration about anything, and I did not have the strength to tackle the landmine of sensitivities surrounding writing about one’s ex-wife (or any of the other issues for that matter). I mean, what would I say? How would our son, Isaac, feel about it? How would her family feel about it? How would my wife feel about it?
As I slowly emerged from my emotional coma, I felt a growing desire to write down my thoughts. It’s my therapy. But first I had to talk it over with my life partner. After a few decades of sharing the planet with the female gender, I’ve finally gained enough emotional intelligence to know that after being emotionally unavailable to my current wife for weeks it’s not a good idea for her to read a blog about my ex-wife without any prior discussion. 😊
Why is it so much easier to write about how I feel and post for the world to see than to look the person closest to me in the eye and talk about it? Because I care so much more about what she thinks than anyone else. That’s how vulnerability works. That’s one of the reasons why being a truly Godly husband is far more difficult and laudable than being a great Christian leader. But I digress…
Sonji and I have been divorced for over 15 years and over those years there is one thing that has united us – our mutual desire for the best for our son, Isaac. As to what constituted the best for him, on some things we agreed, and others were a source of continuous conflict. One of the latter was my desire for Isaac to come to live with me during his teenage years. Well, my desire has finally been fulfilled but it’s so bittersweet. For Isaac to lose his mother at eighteen is something no right-thinking father would wish for his son.
That brings me to Saul and David. They had their disagreements too (to put it mildly) and one could easily argue that Saul’s death made David’s life so much easier… but David did not see it that way and I understand how he felt so much better now. David mourned the loss of Saul. So much so that he wrote a song of lament over him. He only remembered the best of him…. And this is how I remember Sonji… And I don’t just mean that I choose to. I mean that, now, literally, all that fills my thoughts are the good things that she embodied. When someone is gone the disagreements seem so insignificant compared with who they were to you.
I remember the girl that loved God passionately. Sonji’s passion for Jesus diverted the path of my life from aimless existence to purposeful pursuit. I will be forever thankful for her for pointing me towards God in a deeper way. I remember the early days when we were just friends, I would travel with her from work and walk her from her house to a prayer meeting in the neighbourhood. All the while she would chatter on and on about the bible and what God was doing in her life. I never had to carry the conversation, but it was just nice to bathe in the light of her passion for God.
I remember Sonji’s grandmother. Sonji loved her dearly and I believe she got her love for God as an inheritance from her granny. She could barely see, her back was severely bent and her feet were worn by years of walking but despite her physical appearance her spirit was not downtrodden in any way. She was a pillar in Sonji’s life. I am positive that right now she and Sonji are enjoying a very joyful heavenly reunion!
Sonji was the consummate mother. She was the product of two generations of matriarchal homes and I only understood later how that shaped her in ways that were not even conscious on her part. She was a matriarch long before Isaac was born. I remember the motherly role she played in her little brother’s life. She would worry about him constantly and always took care of him. Yes, the mother instinct in Sonji was strong. I remember her forcing Isaac to eat as a toddler. He was always a big boy and I would point out to her that he was in no way malnourished and that he would surely eat when he was ready. She was not deterred. She was going to make sure her son was well fed. Even when Isaac was a hard-back teenager, she would still call me when he was with me to check whether I had given him breakfast. It was a running joke between us. She couldn’t help it. Everything she did was with Isaac in mind.
I remember her strength. She was not loud and did not like confusion or conflict but do not think for a second that that meant that she lacked strength of conviction. She made her way quietly but indomitably. This was evident in her illness. She was upbeat and smiling throughout every second of her fight with cancer. She didn’t even look ill. If you did not know that she was fighting for her life you couldn’t tell.
I firmly believe that Sonji is now her best self. Complete, whole, beholding Jesus with clear sight and no doubt ringside in the cloud of witnesses cheering us on (especially Isaac of course). I will do my best Sonji, to walk with Isaac on the next leg of his journey. You certainly did your best in bringing him to adulthood. I honour you.
Copyright 2020, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.
Intimacy. What does this word mean to you? Intimacy. What are the emotions that it evokes? Intimacy. It’s a word that should only be spoken tenderly, preferably whispered. Intimacy. It captures close relationship, mutual vulnerability and tangible love. Intimacy. It’s a word for lovers.
I just started a book, that a very good friend shared with me. The book is ‘Seen. Known. Loved.’ by Gary Chapman (author of The 5 Love Languages) & R. York Moore and this is the quote from the introduction that my friend hooked me with:
“Why then are so many religious people rude, harsh, and condemning of others? Where is Christian love? While just over 70 percent of the US population identifies as Christian, many of them are merely cultural Christians. They call themselves Christian because they grew up in a Christian culture. More importantly, many of them have not personally and deeply responded to the love of God. They are, in fact, still searching for love. As are so many of us, whatever our spiritual beliefs. And until our deep need for love is met, we are not likely to become lovers ourselves.”
I don’t know what the rest of the book holds but this quote has been reverberating and resonating with other strains of thought and longings of my heart in this season. It has been like another clue that God has given me on my journey with Him.
As I suppose is natural in life, I have been coming into contact with people with a wider and wider variety of Christian upbringings, who have been part of different Christian traditions and cultures. But what I have noticed is that there is one thing that, for me, makes the faith of some individuals overwhelmingly more attractive than others. I can define that thing as ‘intimacy with God’. There is something about a person whose Christianity is centered on a relationship with the person of God. There is something different about a man or woman who is passionately in love with Jesus.
One would think that a personal relationship with Jesus is a no-brainer, par for the course for all Christians, but… (re-read the quote above). Many are still searching for God. You can hear it in the way they pray, their choice of words, what flows from the abundance of their heart. Many have fallen in love with the idea of God. Most have fallen in love with the idea of being biblically righteous. Some love being dominion enforcing heaven warriors. The list could go on and on, and none of these are bad things, but they are not THE thing.
The whole point of Jesus’ death was so that we could be intimate with God. This is what He died for! He rent the veil that separated us from His Presence! By the blood of Jesus, the Father threw our sins into the sea of forgetfulness that they would no longer separate us from His touch! Jesus left the earth so that He could send the loving Spirit to dwell in our very hearts. The entire death and resurrection of Jesus and the coming of the Holy Spirit was our God leaping across the mountains to draw His betrothed to Himself and shadow us under the wings of His loving embrace.
We are His beloved betrothed bride, but we are yet to taste of the final ecstasy of union in marriage with our Lover. Revelations 21:2-4 (ESV):
2 I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. 3 And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. 4 ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”
God’s choice of words in Revelations is not by accident. He uses the picture of a bride and her husband very deliberately. It is the most intimate relationship that we can experience on this earth. Our King wants to share Himself with us and for us to share ourselves with Him. This is the center of the heart of God toward us. Every Word of God has this heart desire for intimacy with us at the very core. All creation whispers, “I know you. I love You. Come to ME.” Jesus’ final prayer on the earth was that we be one as He is one with the Father. He desired that the love fellowship of intimate and eternal communion that He shared with the Father be extended to envelop us. Wow!
This is why the answer to every single issue that we face is, ‘Draw closer to God’. Lost? Lonely? Purposeless? Draw closer to God. Problems in your marriage, in your church? Draw closer to God. Want to walk in greater anointing, gifting, supernatural power? Draw closer to God.
Intimacy with my God is my raison d’etre. This is the purpose of my existence. This is my why and my how. Many sincere souls have tried to sell me ‘accurate doctrine’ or ‘cutting edge truth’ or ‘biblical exactitude’ or ‘the kingdom prototype’ or ‘missions’ or ‘the apostolic’ or ‘house churches’ or any number of a million things as THE key and it has distracted me in years gone by… but not any more… Those years are but an insignificant distant vapour to me.
Some months ago, God said to me, “You have learned the part of the student, now understand what it means to be a worshipper.” With it He gave a clue – the woman who anointed Jesus with the alabaster jar of perfume. I am beginning to understand… worship is about intimacy. There is only ONE THING, one burning, indomitable pursuit – deeper and deeper intimacy with my Maker… now and forevermore. Amen.
Copyright 2020, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.
