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When Your Children Ask Hard Questions

Me and my little man.

Over the last 3 weeks I’ve been doing a series on kingdom culture which I hope you have been enjoying but today I’m taking a break to share something a little different. Actually, a lot different. Recently, I was going over the website for my blog, making a few updates, and I realized that I’d drifted a bit from my initial mission.

When I started this blog, it was my goal not only to share some of my thoughts but also some of my life. So, today I want to share an interaction I had with my son.

My new wife had popped into the grocery while I waited for her in the truck with my daughter and youngest son. And out of the blue he looks at me and asks, “So dad how long do you think this marriage will last?” I could hear my daughter snickering at the question. It was one of those hard questions that usually only children will ask so unabashedly.

As a side note, I encourage my children to ask me anything. I love the fact that they think about stuff and that they feel free to ask me whatever is on their mind. I never scold them and I never sidestep the answers.

So, in that vein, I said, “I expect this marriage to last for the rest of my life.” But I wasn’t going to get away so easily.

“Didn’t you expect the same thing for your other marriages?” he pressed.

“Well son, nobody goes into a marriage expecting it to fail.”

He looked thoughtful, “That makes sense.”

“But I guess what you are really asking is why do I think this one will be different. I believe that God chose this marriage not us. I believe that both of us followed His will when we decided to get married. Also, I believe there is a greater element of compatibility than before.”

“Well I really never saw you all quarrel so you could be right.”

And that was it. As I pondered the conversation, I felt the weight of past failures. Would it really be different? However, the feeling lasted no more than a moment. I have no illusions of my greatness as a husband or an easy road ahead but I am still very excited about the future. I am excited because I know Jesus is always with us in our marriage. Where we are weak, He is strong. With Jesus, our past does not dictate our future. He is THE reason for our hope.

I have rarely had the luxury of being able to tell my children that I did it all perfect so follow my example. My hope is that they will take the best from their parents and learn to avoid the worst. More than that, my ultimate hope is that my life will point them to Jesus, not to me. And I believe that that is a better heritage than a perfect track record!

Copyright Matik Nicholls, 2019. All rights reserved.