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Tag: #grace

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The Grace Of Failure

I’m my worst critic. I want to obey God. I want to make all the right decisions. Most of all, I want to love people well. Somehow, I do not live up to that standard on a daily basis. And sometimes, when I fail, I beat myself up about it. I had a particularly bad self-flagellation episode recently. I was teaching an online class about spiritual growth. I had given the participants an exercise to do and as one participant was sharing her experience with the exercise, I interrupted her to ‘correct’ what I thought was a misunderstanding of the instructions that I had given.

I went over that interaction in my head for days. “Why did I feel the need to interrupt?” “How could I have acted in a way that was exactly the opposite of creating a safe loving space which was the foundation of the whole course!?” I sank deeper and deeper into a depression.

After I had a chance to apologize (and realize that this was bothering me much more than it was bothering her) I was able to begin to see God’s grace in my failure. I was able to see myself starting the session that day with a cavalier air about myself. I had been doing the sessions for a while now and I was becoming a believer in my own expertise. I was losing the ethos of the ‘eternal amateur’ as I call it. I believe that great moves of God, great churches and great men usually start off in a place of ‘Oh God, we need you, we don’t know what we’re doing.’ That place of dependency is not meant to be a phase that we graduate from but a lifetime heart posture.

God blesses those who are poor and realize their need for him, for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs.

Matthew 5:3 (NLT)

God moves in the midst of and on behalf of those who live in the reality of their dependency on Jesus. We can do nothing Godly without God.

My failure was God mercifully letting me know that I had taken a step away from that place of dependency. I was becoming a professional. I remember how I prayed at the start of that session… I didn’t pray for God to help me. I prayed for God to help them. They needed help, not me. What a delusion!

If it takes failure for me to remember the mess that I am and my utter need for God, oh God please give me failure. When God begins to move in your life and the spheres that you inhabit, it is a seductive fantasy to buy into your own competence. I’ve seen it. I’ve witnessed the exit of God as man exalts himself to god-like status. I’ve seen mere mortals become THE man of God to the point where it is anathema to even remind his church members that he is just a man. I’ve seen churches buy into a ‘we are the chosen ones’ narrative to the point that they sincerely believe that no other church can steward God’s purpose like them. The thing is, this happened to sincere people who genuinely wanted God. They just bought into their own success.

Success is a strong drink. It can intoxicate the heart and distort reality. Failure has the potential to sober us up to the delusion of our competence.

...I have received such wonderful revelations from God. So to keep me from becoming proud, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger from Satan to torment me and keep me from becoming proud. 8 Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. 9 Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.

2 Corinthians 12:7b-9

Oh God, whenever I begin to buy into myself as the source of my success, please send me the grace of failure. I don’t need a reputation as a perfect Christian who has it all together. I do not want a reputation as successful in man’s eyes when I am not in Yours. I only want You. I only need You. I only want Your ‘Well done.’ On the days that I feel successful, please help me to remember that it is only by Your grace. And on the days that I feel like a failure, please help me to remember that that too is grace – an invitation to see You at work more deeply in my life.

Copyright 2022, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.

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A Culture Of Building Empires

Welcome to part 4 of my series on kingdom culture. Today I want to continue to address leadership through the analogy of shepherding. Jesus is the Good Shepherd. Let’s listen to Him talking about His craft (Luke 15:1-7):

1 Now the tax collectors and sinners were all drawing near to hear him. 2 And the Pharisees and the scribes grumbled, saying, “This man receives sinners and eats with them.”

3 So he told them this parable: 4 “What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he has lost one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the open country, and go after the one that is lost, until he finds it? 5 And when he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders, rejoicing. 6 And when he comes home, he calls together his friends and his neighbors, saying to them, ‘Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep that was lost.’ 7 Just so, I tell you, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance.

What intrigues me about this parable is that the shepherd seems to risk the entire flock to go get one sheep! It makes no sense to my logical mind! But that’s Jesus. And that’s the culture of the kingdom.

The question is, “What is the culture in our churches?” I submit to you that church leaders today operate by the mandate to secure the flock at all costs. Resources are expended to keep the congregation fat and comfortable and stray sheep are viewed as toxic and expendable. The ethos is not to risk anything to win the lost but to secure and expand the pastor’s church empire.

The value of the world system is to protect:

  • The income of the church/leader.
  • The reputation of the church/leader.
  • The success of the church/leader.

More like a business than the church of Jesus Christ, right? But that is exactly how many churches operate today. Overtly or tacitly it’s all about the numbers; the revenue; the size of the congregation; the number of churches in the network; the popularity on twitter. In other words, the modern church and their leaders are focused on the 99; the big number. Whereas, Jesus is focused on the one; the individual. Kingdom culture invests in building up people. World culture invests in building up empires.

Back to the parable… These sinners that Jesus associated with were Israelites ; Jesus’ ministry was to the lost sheep of Israel. It was the Jewish people who were living immoral lives. The parallel to the Jewish sinners of Jesus’ time would be the backslider in our local church context. For example, the couple living in fornication or the young lady who comes to church after partying every Saturday night or maybe the smoking cussbud or maybe the struggling homosexual. How do we treat these people? Are we willing to meet them where they are? I know a pastor who said you had to discipline and expose sin otherwise a demon would break loose in your church and ‘infect’ others. In other words, protect the flock. I have also witnessed backsliders trying to make a step back to church and back to God, and their leaders put barriers in their way. The leader made them apologize to him and to the church or they had to get permission from the leader to attend a service or to partake in communion.

Kingdom culture is radically different! Take the parable of the prodigal son which is also in Luke 15 (Not by coincidence. Jesus is making a point.). The prodigal son takes all his share of the Father’s resources and goes and wastes it. When he comes to his senses and comes back the Father seeing him afar off runs out to meet him and celebrates his return! The Father doesn’t shame him, doesn’t ask him to apologize and He isn’t worried about the prodigal son infecting his ‘good’ boy. In fact, He takes resources from the faithful son’s share to celebrate his wayward son’s return! How counter-world-cultural is that!

Kingdom culture is intensely personal. Kingdom people take a personal and genuine interest in each individual, especially those weakest and furthest from God. Kingdom people are motivated by love, not by increasing church numbers or pleasing the crowd or keeping a righteous image.

When we are more concerned with protecting the reputation of our church than reaching the sinners in our church, we are operating in world culture. When we are so concerned about our personal reputation that we won’t go somewhere questionable to find a fallen brother then we are operating in world culture. When we are more concerned with keeping the high status or big-tithing members happy than reaching the furthest from God then we are way off course.

James 5:19-20

19 My brothers, if anyone among you wanders from the truth and someone brings him back, 20 let him know that whoever brings back a sinner from his wandering will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins.

Kingdom culture is shaped by the values of the King who left the glory of heaven behind to come to a fallen, sinful earth to redeem His lost sheep!

Copyright Matik Nicholls, 2019. All rights reserved.