Ever so often in my life, the question of my image rises to the surface. Typically, I could care less about my image… or put another way; I could care less about the opinions of people who do not know me. But every so often, those ‘people who don’t know me’ are also people who can influence the course of my life. Thus, it is in my interest to care about the opinions of such people.
On one such occasion, I had just started a new management position and my boss suggested that we meet weekly to check up on projects that I would be working on. I thought that that was a bit excessive, so I suggested less frequent meetings. She didn’t go for it. A few months later she gave me my first performance feedback and admitted that there was more to me than first met the eye. She had not expected the level of competence that I exhibited. On another occasion, a senior manager was kind enough to let me know that my happy-go-lucky surfer dude persona was negatively impacting my management aspirations. He admitted that I had the intelligence and competence for the position, but some who worked less closely with me were concerned about my image.
To be blunt, this type of thing pisses me off. I have no problem when people have an initial opinion but then take the time to get to know me before passing judgment (like the first boss I mentioned above). But I have a serious issue with people passing judgement from afar, not based on my performance, but based on who they think I am as a person. However, this is the reality of the world. People make decisions about you based on their opinion of you whether they actually know you or not.
The question is; should we be concerned about our image? Should I be concerned about my carefree image? Should I try to change it? Such questions can be unsettling, at least for me.
As I discussed these thoughts with my bff, she shared an interesting perspective. She has an image of always having her hair and nails on point and lately she was becoming concerned about the signal that she might be sending to the young women in her sphere of influence. She wondered if she was contributing to the current ethos of superficiality. Are nails and hair the most important things about a person? In the world of fake eyelashes, fake nails and weave have we become a society that is more about image than substance?
She gave me food for thought and solidified my commitment to authenticity. There is a beauty and peace that comes with being yourself that for me is not worth any job promotion. I laugh loudly in the office and dance down the place at Christmas functions. That is not some people’s opinion of management behaviour. And I’m OK with that. You do you and I’ll do me. At the end of the day it would be nice to be judged only on your contribution to achievement of the company objectives but the world is not fair like that and I’m OK with that too. I am willing to pay the price for an authentic life. I believe in a higher justice. And I hope that my sacrifice will redound to upcoming leaders; that they will be able to shake the shackles of other people’s expectations and actualize their own authentic life.
Joyfully,
Copyright 2018, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.
