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Tag: #intimacy

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The Three Power Habits of Christianity

I have come to be convinced that there are only three root practices that underpin the life of every thriving Christian. There are many beneficial habits or disciplines but they all draw from these three in my opinion. It may sound like an oversimplification, but I have found that most truth is simple. It is not necessarily easy to walk out but it is not complicated. Here are my three power habits of Christianity:

  1. Intimacy – Pursuing deepening relationship with God.
  2. Transformation – Pursuing hearing and obeying His voice with greater and greater frequency, accuracy and immediacy.
  3. Dominion – Pursuing expansion of God’s kingdom in your sphere.

Put another way:

  1. Connecting more and more with Christ.
  2. Becoming more and more like Christ.
  3. Connecting the world more and more with Christ.

These habits are sequential and cyclical. By sequential, I mean that we can only become like Christ to the degree that we are intimate with Him, and we can only expand Christ’s dominion to the degree that He is in us. This means that intimacy with Father, Jesus, and Holy Spirit is the #1 pursuit of the Christian life. Everything we do such as praying, worshipping, fasting, and bible study, should be mainly toward this end. If it is not, then we are wasting our time.

The second habit is the transformation of our lives by hearing AND obeying God’s voice. Some of us may assume hearing simply means reading the bible. Let me be absolutely clear here – we can read the bible and never hear His voice. Only those intimate with God hear His voice. There must be an unmistakable awareness that our lives are guided by a person, not just biblical principles. We must be constantly led by the Spirit. The final habit, dominion, is the demonstrated power of God in our lives. Our Christianity must actually work. Demons must flee. Sickness must flee. Christ must transform our families and businesses and communities from brokenness to wholeness.

By cyclical, I mean that this is not a one-time 1-2-3 and then we have arrived at the pinnacle of Christianity. It is more like we get a little closer to Him, then we become a little more like Him, then we influence our world a little more, and then we draw a little closer again, and on and on in a beautiful upward spiral of grace.

These three things are a pattern that can be observed in scripture from beginning to end. Let’s take Moses and Joshua taking the Israelites from Egypt to Canaan. We have Moses refusing to go without God’s presence and building a temple for Him to dwell among His people. We have God giving the law on Mount Sinai and commanding the Israelites to walk in obedience to all His laws and commands. And we have Joshua leading the Israelites to displace the inhabitants of Canaan and occupy the land. Temple, Law, and Land. Intimacy, Transformation, and Dominion.

Consider also the Israelites returning from captivity in Babylon. There are three waves of Jews returning from exile. The first wave is led by Zerubbabel and the focus is on rebuilding the temple – Intimacy. The second wave is led by Ezra and the focus is on re-establishing obedience to the law – Transformation. And the third wave is led by Nehemiah and the focus is on rebuilding Jerusalem’s walls – Dominion.

Finally, all is fulfilled in Christ who is the way (making a way to true intimacy with God), the truth (the Word made flesh – our model and means for transformed life), and the life (living with absolute kingdom dominion over sin and death).

So, if you want to thrive make these practices the foundation of your life:

  1. Commitment to the single-minded pursuit of intimacy with God.
  2. Commitment to hearing God better and obeying Him more completely.
  3. Commitment to a lifestyle of stepping out in faith to see results in real life.

Christ be with you!

Copyright 2022, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.

If you haven’t yet, check out our FREE Spiritual Growth Foundation Course in which we cover the four foundational principles for spiritual growth and much more! In addition to on-demand videos which you can watch at your leisure, there are downloadable handouts for those who prefer written content.

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Rated XOX

It’s 2022! Happy New Year! And what better way to start the year than with some steamy, passionate sex! Yes, this is still a Christian blog 😊.

Christian mystics throughout the ages have used sexual union as a powerful metaphor for spiritual union with God.  It was Saint Paul (a chaste man, ironically) who said, ““A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one.”

In my journey toward wholeness and holiness, I have been wrestling with my sexual brokenness. Years of distorted sexual messages and experiences have configured my mind in such a way that seeing the divine intent in sexual intimacy is a challenge.

To explain let me share a quote from one of the many books I’m currently reading (I may have mentioned before that I’m a book junkie).

“…desire is one of the greatest gifts we can give to another. It is the gift of receptivity. Being received by someone in love, whether in a physical or spiritual way, is one of the most life-affirming experiences we can have. When a wife opens herself to receive a husband in sexual intimacy, or when a trusted friend allows you to share your deepest hurts or hopes with them, you feel seen. These are healing, expansive encounters. And they mirror the inner life of the divine.”

Kelly Deutsch – Spiritual Wanderlust: The Field Guide To Deep Desire

This truth-speaking from Kelly Deutsch caused my soul to leap. I knew it held some truth that I needed to hear although I did not quite get it at first. As often happens, my mind railroaded me with distractions. The provocative phrase ‘when a wife opens to receive a husband’ filled my mind with a flood of images that seemed much too dirty to be associated with God. I struggled with these seemingly opposing forces in my being. Should I go deeper or turn away? Should I be thinking of God this way? Curiosity and shame locked horns.

Only God Himself could help me sort through this entanglement and see what was true. So, I took my thoughts to Him in my usual morning devotions, and this was what I heard Him say:

“Matik, We want you to know that We see your confusion. We see your struggle to untangle your thoughts and desires. We see your heart and mind straining to see purely; to see Us clearly. We see the condemnation that tries to infect as you struggle with your sexuality; your sexual desires entangled with the deepest desires of your heart, and your thoughts toward and about Us. Know this Matik, We are never ashamed. And We are not ashamed of you or shamed by your thoughts. Bring them all to be reconciled at the cross. We can handle it.”

He always knows what to say 😊. My Saviour accepts me; receives me; as I am; unconditionally. He is not waivered or put off by the immature and incompetent bumbling thoughts of a child struggling to comprehend concepts much bigger than himself.

Soothed by the reassuring love of my Papa I was able to push past the surface and lean into the mystery that He wanted to reveal to me… Sexual intimacy is not just the heated sating of physical appetites but two hearts longing to be seen completely, known fully and in the context of that full disclosure to still be desired, wanted and cherished. To have all our flaws and imperfections exposed and still be found desirable. We want to be wanted for who we are without having to pretend or perform. We want to be affirmed that we are beautiful after all. This is what we truly seek, and this is what only God can truly provide in full measure.

God wants to be with you, with no barriers and pretenses (naked), know you fully (inside and out) and have you look into His eyes and see only hot desire and unconditional love for you. Not only that, but He wants to be known by you too, and wanted by you (if you can accept the thought). God is constantly revealing Himself to us for the explicit purpose of captivating us with His incomparable beauty and eternal love in the hopes that we would set our hearts rapturously upon Him and open ourselves to receive Him.

As I said, there is no better way to start this new year than with a passionate love encounter with the Lover of your soul! May He satisfy you all the days of your life and into the blessed union of eternal bliss!

Copyright 2022, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.

If you haven’t yet, check out our FREE Spiritual Growth Foundation Course in which we cover the four foundational principles for spiritual growth and much more! In addition to on-demand videos which you can watch at your leisure, there are downloadable handouts for those who prefer written content.

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Make Room For Intimacy

I recently read this verse from the NLT translation of the bible and it resonated deep in my soul:

I want you to know me more than I want burnt offerings. (Hosea 6:6b emphasis mine)

God’s heart cry is to be known by us. Stop and let that verse sink in for a while. Seriously. Take a minute.

God wants intimacy more than service. Put another way, He wants sons and daughters, not slaves. Consider all the way back to the newborn creation when God walked and talked with man in the cool of the garden. God’s original intent, distinct from His intent toward all other created beings, was to walk in fellowship with man. Often, we are busy busy busy doing things for God instead of being with God. God does not just want our prayers, our fasting, our tithes, our church attendance, or our bible reading. He wants our fellowship. He wants us to seek a real heart-to-heart relationship with Him. Getting to know the Eternal One is the most necessary and serious endeavour of our Christian life.

The unfortunate reality is that our culture is more rational than relational. Consider the first 20 years of your life. What was the emphasis of all those years of preparation for adulthood? In our early years, we were taught how to talk, walk, read and write. Then we went on to more difficult things such as Algebra, Geography, football, playing the guitar, and driving a car. Then we graduated to real challenging subjects such as plumbing, performing surgery, or doing a theatrical performance. But how much did we learn about listening, processing our emotions, vulnerability, empathy, or handling conflict well? Not nearly as much.

This academic, task-oriented, performance-driven culture has fully saturated our religious lives as well. We measure our Christianity by things like bible knowledge, church attendance, ministry engagements, missionary work, and doctrinal understanding. How far have we drifted from “By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” (John 13:35). Or what about, “The most important commandment is this: ‘Listen, O Israel! The Lord our God is the one and only Lord. And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.’ The second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ No other commandment is greater than these.” (Mark 12:29-31). The central issue of being like Christ is relational – loving God and others like Christ did. And all relationships begin with the desire to know and be known by the other.

I do not think we are even aware of how plutonic our relationship with our Heavenly Father has become. Consider how universally the bible has come to be considered the Word of God. It used to be (in biblical days) that the Word of God included a personal encounter with the Divine. There was no separation of God’s voice from His Presence. The Speaker was inseparable from His words. When the Word of the Lord came to Abram in a vision, God personally spoke to him and said, “Fear not, Abram, I am your shield; your reward shall be very great.”. When Balaam announced what the Lord had spoken to him, he said, “This is the message of Balaam son of Beor, the message of the man whose eyes see clearly, the message of one who hears the words of God, who has knowledge from the Most High, who sees a vision from the Almighty, who bows down with eyes wide open”. Can you hear the echoes of someone who has been in the presence of the Voice of Many Waters?! In New Testament times the people gathered around Jesus to hear the living Word of God speak to them!

Nowadays, we casually read from the bible and believe it is synonymous with hearing God’s voice. This is a deception. Without a doubt, He can speak to us as we read, but hear me well, it is not the act of reading that brings connection with the divine. No no no. Many souls have read the good book (and some have memorized it as did the Pharisees) without any interaction with God whatsoever. I myself have come away from the book at times remaining empty of the Bread of Life. Hearing from God is a far more relational endeavour in the same way as reading someone’s biography is very different from spending time with them. Hearing from God requires a pure heart and an undistracted mind turned with burning desire and rapt attention toward the only One who has the words of eternal life. “Lord, to whom would we go? You have the words that give eternal life.” (John 6:68)

The Holy Spirit lives in us. The whispers of God echo in our hearts if we hearken to His quiet voice. I implore you. Take a step back from doctrinal debates and endless studies and make room in your hectic schedule of good deeds to seek God. Intimacy is nurtured in SLOW time. Awake before the dawn and set your affections toward God in hushed silence. Take long slow walks in nature and soak in the wonder and the beauty of His handiwork. Linger in heart-to-heart journaled conversations with your Eternal Lover. Instead of approaching the bible like a manual for life to be studied, approach it like a love letter that fills us with an inexorable desire to turn from the pages toward the Author of such amazing love. Instead of approaching times of prayer with a list of petitions, approach it with a curiosity to discover what Your Heavenly Father might want to speak to you today.

In this season of advent let us make room in the inn of our lives for the Saviour. Let us make room for intimacy.

Copyright 2021, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.

If you haven’t yet, check out our FREE Spiritual Growth Foundation Course in which we cover the four foundational principles for spiritual growth and much more! In addition to on-demand videos which you can watch at your leisure, there are downloadable handouts for those who prefer written content.

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Intimacy with God

Intimacy. What does this word mean to you? Intimacy. What are the emotions that it evokes? Intimacy. It’s a word that should only be spoken tenderly, preferably whispered. Intimacy. It captures close relationship, mutual vulnerability and tangible love. Intimacy. It’s a word for lovers.

I just started a book, that a very good friend shared with me. The book is ‘Seen. Known. Loved.’ by Gary Chapman (author of The 5 Love Languages) & R. York Moore and this is the quote from the introduction that my friend hooked me with:

“Why then are so many religious people rude, harsh, and condemning of others? Where is Christian love? While just over 70 percent of the US population identifies as Christian, many of them are merely cultural Christians. They call themselves Christian because they grew up in a Christian culture. More importantly, many of them have not personally and deeply responded to the love of God. They are, in fact, still searching for love. As are so many of us, whatever our spiritual beliefs. And until our deep need for love is met, we are not likely to become lovers ourselves.”

I don’t know what the rest of the book holds but this quote has been reverberating and resonating with other strains of thought and longings of my heart in this season. It has been like another clue that God has given me on my journey with Him.

As I suppose is natural in life, I have been coming into contact with people with a wider and wider variety of Christian upbringings, who have been part of different Christian traditions and cultures. But what I have noticed is that there is one thing that, for me, makes the faith of some individuals overwhelmingly more attractive than others. I can define that thing as ‘intimacy with God’. There is something about a person whose Christianity is centered on a relationship with the person of God. There is something different about a man or woman who is passionately in love with Jesus.

One would think that a personal relationship with Jesus is a no-brainer, par for the course for all Christians, but… (re-read the quote above). Many are still searching for God. You can hear it in the way they pray, their choice of words, what flows from the abundance of their heart. Many have fallen in love with the idea of God. Most have fallen in love with the idea of being biblically righteous. Some love being dominion enforcing heaven warriors. The list could go on and on, and none of these are bad things, but they are not THE thing.

The whole point of Jesus’ death was so that we could be intimate with God. This is what He died for! He rent the veil that separated us from His Presence! By the blood of Jesus, the Father threw our sins into the sea of forgetfulness that they would no longer separate us from His touch! Jesus left the earth so that He could send the loving Spirit to dwell in our very hearts. The entire death and resurrection of Jesus and the coming of the Holy Spirit was our God leaping across the mountains to draw His betrothed to Himself and shadow us under the wings of His loving embrace.

We are His beloved betrothed bride, but we are yet to taste of the final ecstasy of union in marriage with our Lover. Revelations 21:2-4 (ESV):

2 I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. 3 And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. 4 ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”

God’s choice of words in Revelations is not by accident. He uses the picture of a bride and her husband very deliberately. It is the most intimate relationship that we can experience on this earth. Our King wants to share Himself with us and for us to share ourselves with Him. This is the center of the heart of God toward us. Every Word of God has this heart desire for intimacy with us at the very core. All creation whispers, “I know you. I love You. Come to ME.” Jesus’ final prayer on the earth was that we be one as He is one with the Father. He desired that the love fellowship of intimate and eternal communion that He shared with the Father be extended to envelop us. Wow!

This is why the answer to every single issue that we face is, ‘Draw closer to God’. Lost? Lonely? Purposeless? Draw closer to God. Problems in your marriage, in your church? Draw closer to God. Want to walk in greater anointing, gifting, supernatural power? Draw closer to God.

Intimacy with my God is my raison d’etre. This is the purpose of my existence. This is my why and my how. Many sincere souls have tried to sell me ‘accurate doctrine’ or ‘cutting edge truth’ or ‘biblical exactitude’ or ‘the kingdom prototype’ or ‘missions’ or ‘the apostolic’ or ‘house churches’ or any number of a million things as THE key and it has distracted me in years gone by… but not any more… Those years are but an insignificant distant vapour to me.

Some months ago, God said to me, “You have learned the part of the student, now understand what it means to be a worshipper.” With it He gave a clue – the woman who anointed Jesus with the alabaster jar of perfume. I am beginning to understand… worship is about intimacy. There is only ONE THING, one burning, indomitable pursuit – deeper and deeper intimacy with my Maker… now and forevermore. Amen.

Copyright 2020, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.