I am super excited to announce my new plan on YouVersion!
I believe it is my best plan yet! I took the key concepts and principles from our leadership workshop and put them into a 15-day devotional format. I am confident that it will add tremendous value to your leadership!
…people rise to leadership in our society based on extroversion, which means they have a tendency to ignore what is going on inside themselves. These leaders rise to power by operating very competently and effectively in the external world, sometimes at the cost of internal awareness…In the preparation and selection of leaders, we need to look for those who are growing in self-awareness, who are willing to take responsibility for themselves and what drives their behaviours, and who have the courage to bring that self-knowledge into the leadership setting.
Ruth Haley Barton
There was a time when people thought that leaders were born not made. You either had the gift of leadership or you didn’t. This paradigm is less popular now. The new way of thinking (at least in the business world) is that leaders can be trained. Anyone can learn leadership skills and become a proficient leader. In religious circles, we have a similar type of thinking when we think that going to seminary qualifies you to become the leader of a congregation.
However, in the kingdom leaders are neither born nor trained, they are incarnated. Incarnation is the process of embodying God in the flesh. Christ embodied the Father in the flesh and we must embody Him. That’s why we are His body. You see, in the kingdom, there is only one leader, one head of the body – Christ. We are all followers. We only become leaders/influencers insomuch as Christ lives in us and works through us. Hebrews 2:10 says in the NLT translation that God made Jesus the perfect leader through His suffering. I describe the process of becoming a kingdom leader as the Three C’s of Incarnation:
Calling
Crucifixion
Co-creation
First, we must discern our unique calling in the kingdom. There is some sphere that we were designed to influence. We must make it our business to find out what we were created for! Secondly, we must go through the refining process of crucifixion so that our influence is untainted by our own agenda. Finally, we must learn to lead in partnership with the Holy Spirit (which I have titled co-creation mainly because I wanted another C word). We were not designed to lead alone! This process is actually more like a cycle. We discover more of who we are called to be, go through one level of refinement, and learn to partner with God to a certain degree, and then He takes us to another level and then another, and so on.
Jesus demonstrated all of these stages throughout His life. He demonstrated that He understood His calling when He read from Isaiah 61 in the synagogue and announced that He was the fulfillment of that prophecy. When He gave all of His “I am..” statements (I am the Bread of Life for example) He also demonstrated that He knew who He was. Scripture says that Jesus learned obedience through His suffering. Even Jesus had to go through processing and learn to choose God’s will over His will right up until the point of His crucifixion. And finally, we see many examples of Jesus partnering with the Father; doing and saying nothing out of step with Him.
The key point to note here is that we do not become kingdom leaders primarily by focusing on the external skill and practice of influencing others but by the internal work of incarnating Christ on the inside of us. What manifests outside of us is what exists inside of us. The greatest leader will be the one who has done the most inner work!
Journal with Holy Spirit: When you think about how Calling, Crucifixion, and Co-creation have played out in your life, what comes up for you?
Copyright 2024, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.
As a participant you will be taken on an 11-week journey that begins with deeper discernment of your unique identity and calling in Christ, moves through building self-awareness of mindsets that may be hindering your leadership, and ends with exploring practices of deeper partnership with God. We will explore a kingdom model of leadership and partner with Holy Spirit to discover hidden barriers that may be keeping us from reaching our full leadership potential. Participants will realize a marked improvement in their ability to partner with God to lead with authenticity and authority in their spheres of influence.
FORMAT:
The focus of this workshop is developing your tangible leadership capability, not just theoretical insights about leadership. Therefore, this workshop has been carefully designed to take participants on an interactive journey that facilitates a growth process that results in a tangible shift in their effectiveness as leaders. Expect to be challenged and stretched. You will come away with tangible work products and tools that will allow you to continue growing as a leader long after you have completed the workshop. We have deliberately designed this as a series of sessions over a long period (compared to a seminar or conference for a couple of days) to allow for ample group discussion, personal reflection, and putting what you have learned into practice. This methodology has been proven to deliver superior results for our clients.
TARGET AUDIENCE:
Our understanding of leadership does not limit it to only those who hold formal organizational positions, hence this workshop is for anyone who wants to increase their capacity to influence the sphere of life that they have been called to. Business professionals, pastors, and ministry leaders will all richly benefit from this course. All faith traditions are warmly welcomed.
FACILITATORS:
Matik Nicholls and Tricia Celestin-Nicholls share a burning passion for Jesus and for empowering people. They live in the beautiful Caribbean twin islands of Trinidad & Tobago with their five children and one granddaughter. Together they lead a small non-denominational faith community.
Matik has held leadership positions at various levels in the business sector for over two decades and is currently employed as the Vice President Innovation & Corporate Agility at a local natural gas processing company. Over the same period, Matik has also held various leadership positions in the church sphere such as worship leader, children’s ministry teacher, and youth leader. He is also a Covey 7 Habits practitioner and trained John Maxwell facilitator. In both the secular and religious spaces, Matik has been avidly learning and putting kingdom leadership principles into practice since he was twenty-one. He loves to read, hike, surf, and mountain bike. Matik also brings to the workshop a high-functioning teaching gift.
Tricia started leading in her local church at the age of fourteen as Vice-President of the Youth Group and went on to serve in various capacities such as Common Sense Parenting Facilitator, Hospitality Ministry Leader, and Parish Coordinator. She is a certified coach with the International Coaching Association and is trained in Story Informed Trauma Therapy and Trauma Counselling. She loves running, hiking, and coordinating events in her community. She is passionate about supporting leaders. Tricia also brings to the workshop a high-functioning prophetic gift that sharpens her deeply insightful coaching and facilitating ability.
COST:
$85 USD or $580 TT
Note: If you feel that God is leading you to take this course but you cannot afford this price, please reach out to us.
This has to be the greatest leadership course I have ever taken because of the emphasis on allowing the Lord to reveal the specific issue that has hindered the emergence of our authentic, powerful self and the only way we will ever be the leaders we have been created to be is by co-partnering with Jesus.
Patricia Fletcher – Canada
Thank you Matik and Tricia for leading this life-changing course on personal leadership. As we’re moving into a season of knowing God in new and intimate ways, this course was timely. You have created a community grounded on love, allowing us to be Open, Vulnerable, and Humble. The weekly sessions and discussions helped me better understand my identity in Christ. Our conversations revealed deeply rooted issues that have prevented me from experiencing God in Glorious ways. I recommend this course to anyone seeking a deeper understanding of self, community, and how to live life abundantly that points to the heart of God. Again, thank you!!! Our time together is always appreciated, I look forward to more courses in the future.
Jacqueline Edwards – United States
Are you like me? Knowing that you are called to be a leader, but not feeling it? Not yet believing it? So, when I heard about this “Building Personal Kingdom Leadership Capacity” course I was determined to be there and committed to stay throughout. Matik and Tricia Nicholls offered a fresh caring environment for new and not so new leaders, to explore and accept God’s unique call for them as a leader in His Kingdom. It was a journey of discovery and connection. The 11 weeks went by quickly, but the knowledge gained and habits learnt to further seek, find and centre in God’s eternal purpose were well worth it. Now, trusting God, I’ll be impacting and influencing those He has placed around me. Thank God for the Nicholls, may He continue to guide and give them His wisdom in providing this well needed course and the many others to come.
To do a direct bank transfer use the following information:
Name: Matik Nicholls
Bank Name: Republic Bank Limited
Account No.: 260086069031
Account Type: Savings
Swift Code (international transfers): RBNKTTPX
For more info on international direct transfers click here. When the transfer is completed, please email the receipt or a screenshot to matik.nicholls@authenticjoy.org together with your name.
Often, when we talk about developing leaders in the workplace and in the church, we focus on developing a set of skills and competencies. However, most of the time what hampers our leadership capability is not those external skills and competencies that are readily observable. Sure we can improve our administrative competence, or our speaking ability, or learn to use our talents and strengths more effectively. All of that is good. It will make us better managers but leadership requires something more.
Ruth Haley Barton says it this way, “…people rise to leadership in our society based on extroversion, which means they have a tendency to ignore what is going on inside themselves. These leaders rise to power by operating very competently and effectively in the external world, sometimes at the cost of internal awareness…In the preparation and selection of leaders, we need to look for those who are growing in self-awareness, who are willing to take responsibility for themselves and what drives their behaviours, and who have the courage to bring that self-knowledge into the leadership setting.”
Parker Palmer teaches, “A leader is a person who must take responsibility for what’s going on inside his or her consciousness, lest the act of leadership create more harm than good.”
Finally, listen to Jesus, “What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! For you are so careful to clean the outside of the cup and the dish, but inside you are filthy—full of greed and self-indulgence! You blind Pharisee! First, wash the inside of the cup and the dish, and then the outside will become clean, too.” (Matthew 23:25-26 NLT)
We manifest around us, the reality that lives inside of us. All of us are walking around with internal worlds tainted by insecurities, unhealed traumas, distorted identities, impure motives, and the like. In other words, we are broken. All of us. To varying degrees and in diverse ways but we all carry the scars of this common fallen humanity. Unless we heal this internal landscape, even with the noblest of intentions and most fervent of faiths, we will do more harm than good. We must first wash the inside.
If you look closely around you, you can observe this neglect of internal work everywhere. Parents burden their children with expectations too heavy for them to bear in a vain attempt to live their unrealized dreams through their offspring, or crush their children’s dreams to “spare them” the disappointment that still haunts them. Managers still try to make daddy proud by piling up accomplishments while their staff suffer in service of their ruthless ambitions. Preachers scrape for significance by bullying their congregation and sucking up to those who could elevate them while quoting scriptures to back up their soul-disease.
True leaders are actively engaged in inner work. If we want to build a community filled with love, peace and joy, it first has to live inside of us. We can teach what we know and people will become more informed but we can only transform lives by imparting what lives on the inside of us. Leadership development is an upward spiral of Calling, Crucifixion and Co-Creation. First, we are called up higher in an encounter with God where He reveals our identity to us. Like King David when he was anointed king by Samuel. Then we must be refined and tested (also like David whose character was shaped for many many years before he ever sat on the throne). Finally, we learn to exercise authority in partnership with God. Again, David was a good example of this, constantly guided by God as he led the people. As long as we remain humble and teachable the cycle never stops. We are constantly being called to a truer version of ourselves, to engage in a process of transformation that enables us to be trusted with greater kingdom responsibilities and to partner more closely with God to expand His kingdom. God only entrusts His authority to those who carry His character.
The moment we stop growing is the moment we begin to lose real influence in the realm of the spirit. How many times have we met men of God who talk about the power and presence of God that used to characterize their ministry? What happened? I believe they stopped the inner work. They thought they had arrived and forfeited their leadership position. They may still have big ministries and many followers but in the spirit, they have lost their position.
I pray that that would never be said of you beloved. I declare that your life will go from glory to glory! I pray that we will be diligent in pursuing our inner work together! Let us encourage each other in this most holy work that when Christ returns He may find a Bride without spot or wrinkle ready to meet her Bridegroom!
Copyright 2023, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.
Participants will be taken on an 11-week journey of growing in self-awareness and discernment of their calling in Christ. We will explore the kingdom model of leadership and discover hidden barriers that may be keeping us from reaching our full leadership potential. Participants will learn how to partner with God to lead with authenticity, passion, and generational impact.
The focus of this workshop is on how to develop leadership capability in practice. The focus is practical not theoretical or theological. Topics covered include:
What is kingdom leadership?
How do we build kingdom leadership capacity?
What limits our leadership?
Discovering our unique identity & calling
Leading with authenticity
Leading with passion
Crucifixion – losing our life to follow our calling
Leading with selflessness
Leading from wholeness
Co-creating with Christ
Partnering with God’s presence
Partnering with God’s voice
Letting our light shine
Serving others
Empowering others
FORMAT:
This workshop has been carefully designed to take leaders on a journey that facilitates a growth process that results in a tangible shift in their effectiveness as leaders. Expect to be challenged and stretched. You will come away with tangible work products and tools that will allow you to continue growing as a leader long after you have completed the workshop. We have deliberately designed this as a series of sessions over a long period (compared to a seminar or conference for a couple of days) to allow for group discussion, personal reflection, and putting what you have learned into practice. This methodology has been proven to deliver superior results for our clients.
TARGET AUDIENCE:
We do not limit leadership to only those who hold formal organizational positions, hence this workshop is for anyone who wants to grow their leadership capacity to influence the sphere of life that they have been called to. Please note that all faith traditions are warmly welcomed.
FACILITATORS:
Matik Nicholls and Tricia Celestin-Nicholls share a burning passion for Jesus and for empowering people. They live in the beautiful Caribbean twin island of Trinidad & Tobago with their five children and one granddaughter. Together they lead a small non-denominational faith community.
Matik has held leadership positions at various levels in the business sector for over two decades and is currently employed as the Vice President Innovation & Corporate Agility at a local natural gas processing company. Over the same period, Matik has also held various leadership positions in the church sphere such as worship leader, children’s ministry teacher, and youth leader. He is also a Covey 7 Habits practitioner and trained John Maxwell facilitator. In both the secular and religious spaces, Matik has been avidly learning and putting into practice the best kingdom leadership practices since he was twenty-one. He loves to read, hike, surf, and mountain bike. Matik also brings to the workshop a high-functioning teaching gift.
Tricia started leading in her local church at the age of fourteen as Vice-President of the Youth Group and went on to serve in various capacities such as Common Sense Parenting Facilitator, Hospitality Ministry Leader, and Parish Coordinator. She is a certified coach with the International Coaching Association and is trained in Story Informed Trauma Therapy and Trauma Counselling. She loves running, hiking, and coordinating events in her community. She is passionate about supporting leaders. Tricia also brings to the workshop a high-functioning prophetic gift that sharpens her deeply insightful coaching and facilitating ability.
To do a direct bank transfer use the following information:
Name: Matik Nicholls
Bank Name: Republic Bank Limited
Branch: Grand Bazaar, Trinidad & Tobago
Account No.: 260086069031
Account Type: Savings
Swift Code (international transfers): RBNKTTPX
For more info on international direct transfers click here. When the transfer is completed, please email the receipt or a screenshot to matik.nicholls@authenticjoy.org together with your name.
My good friend and mother in the faith, Dr. Patricia Morgan, challenged me today to answer this question. Here is my answer:
Jesus taught with humility and gentleness.
In Matthew chapter 11 and verse 29 (NLT version) Jesus makes this unusual statement, “…Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart…” If you want to teach someone, you have to be a safe place for them to make mistakes. Jesus understood this. In Jesus’ classroom it was acceptable to question, to doubt and to challenge. When I think of this aspect of Jesus, I think of His intense discussion with Nicodemus, the way he answered Thomas’ doubts and the many foolish outbursts of Peter. Nothing was below Jesus’ attention as the Messiah-Rabbi. Every question, doubt and challenge was an opportunity to teach. All that is required is a heart that is willing to learn, and Jesus will meet you where you are. He won’t be put off by your questions and doubts. He is patient, gentle and kind.
Self-examination: Do we, the Jesus-people, evidence this kind of humility? How do our leaders bear up under questioning? Are we allowed to question them? Is there even a forum where we can ask them questions? Pastors, how do we handle people challenging us? Do we have patience with our brothers and sisters who have doubts? Are we willing to sincerely serve (wash the feet) of someone who is stabbing us in the back?
Jesus taught from alongside.
Jesus, the author of all knowledge and creator of all things, left heaven, took the form of a servant and came alongside us to teach us how to live. The same verse in Matthew uses the metaphor of yoked oxen to describe how Jesus teaches. He bears our burdens with us. He walks through the ups and downs of life alongside us. Jesus didn’t just teach, He discipled. He allowed his students to get up close and personal to observe His life. Ever wonder why God Himself only had 12 disciples? Surely, He had more capacity? Maybe He was trying to show us something? Maybe there is more that is caught than taught? Studies actually show that we do not learn new behaviours from information, we learn through imitation. That’s how God created us. So, will we change our nations by only changing the information that we teach? My answer is no. At least not the kind of change Christ wants. If we want a Godly nation, then we have to have a Godly people willing to come alongside the people at the lowest point of their existence and live with them and love them.
Self-examination: Are we willing to walk alongside the poor, the sinners, the lepers, the tax collectors, the adulteresses, the homosexuals, the transgendered, the outcasts of our time? Or are we more comfortable throwing stones of righteous indignation and moral superiority over the walls of our gated communities and barbed-wire fences? Are we willing, like Jesus, not to cling to our privileges but give it up and take on the humble position of a servant?
Jesus aimed at the heart.
Often, we Christians see ourselves as combatants in a battle for cultural influence. We want to have more influence over what people say and do. We bemoan the prevalence of the LGBTQ+ agenda or the so-called ’one-world’ agenda or the liberal agenda and the list goes on. But I honestly wonder what Jesus sees. I think he sees people searching for love and I believe His heart aches for them to know His love. Jesus doesn’t see a battle for truth, He sees a battle for hearts. And He is willing to do whatever it takes, even die, to win our hearts. Jesus sees beyond the lifestyle choices and beyond the things that we see. He sees the heart of a little girl that is desperately searching for anyone who would just love her without trying to change her. He sees in that seething, violent, teenager, a little boy that never felt safe.
The Jewish people in Jesus’ time must also have felt like they were in a battle to preserve God’s standards. This was one of the problems they had with Jesus. He did not join the battle. He refused to pick sides. He refused to join in the culture wars of shaming the sinners, shunning the tax collectors, avoiding the lepers and stoning the adulteresses. You see Jesus was not interested in creating a moral and orderly society. What He was after, is after, is far more amazing, far more wonderful, just far more… He is preparing a bride for Himself that is beaming with love for Him, without spot or wrinkle of heart. He is after heaven on earth.
Jesus is telling us that love is the prerequisite to all change. That’s what He told the adulteress. Neither do I condemn you – I’m not here to fight you, I’m here to love you. Now that you know that you are loved, go and sin no more. People with changed hearts, change their behaviour.
Self-examination: When we see people who are not living the way God intended, do we feel indignation or compassion? Are we trying to effect change in our sphere of influence through preaching at people or loving people? Are our efforts aimed at changing behaviour or changing hearts?
Jesus started at the bottom.
If we have a very top-down model for effecting societal change then we see education through the lens of equipping kingdom-minded people to function at elevated positions in society and drive change downwards. This thinking permeates how we set up our Christian institutions. We have lots of structure and hierarchy and rules to drive change downward with the power to effect change reserved for the elite few ‘leaders’. These types of institutions unknowingly create passive people by default. We expect to be led by the chosen few. We are actually building worldly systems with a kingdom label.
Jesus did things differently. He created a grass-roots movement that rendered the old societal constructs obsolete. That is why they killed Him. He changed the rules! The Scribes and Pharisees had their brick-and-mortar bookstores, cornering the market, controlling the narrative, and Jesus started Amazon – giving any Tom, Dick and Harietta the ability to become a best-selling author! He took the power controlled by a few and gave it away freely to the masses.
To further illustrate the power of bottom-up thinking, let’s do some Math. If I were to open a university and graduate 100,000 new students every year, over 20 years I would have taught 2,000,000 million students. Wow! Wow? Let’s see… If I were to disciple and empower 10 persons every year who in turn disciple 10 every year, and so on, in 20 years we would have discipled 100,000,000,000,000,000,000 persons. That’s Jesus Math! That’s the power of the movement that He started with 12 disciples 2,023 years ago. In Jesus’ school, everyone has the power to lead. Really pour your life into a few people’s lives and give them the freedom and power to fulfil their purpose! Raising a powerful few is exponentially better than reaching millions en masse. Literally! I do hope we get this and stop measuring purpose by the number of people we will reach or deciding on speaking engagements based on how big the church (or YouTube/Facebook/Twitter following) is.
if we want to transform a society (aka disciple a nation) then we must employ the subversive methodologies that Jesus used. Our methods must teach us how to function as a body of equals. All are equally responsible and empowered to lead change. Matthew 23:8 (NLT) says, “Don’t let anyone call you ‘Rabbi,’ for you have only one teacher, and all of you are equal as brothers and sisters.” We must be creating a groundswell of disciple-makers aflame for God that we disseminate into the world like yeast or salt, setting ablaze everyone and everything they touch for Jesus!
Self-examination: What is our transformation paradigm? Is it top-down, imposing the ‘law’ from above, or bottom-up, inspiring people to become the best version of themselves? How comfortable are we in environments of low control and high empowerment? Do we measure impact in terms of how wide of an audience we can reach? Do we see purpose in a lifetime of high-quality input into a few?
Jesus taught with authority.
“…for he taught with real authority—quite unlike their teachers of religious law.” Matthew 7:29 (NLT). That’s quite a commendation and an indictment.
Jesus is described as having real authority. What is real authority? Or what is the authority that Jesus had that the religious teachers didn’t? I believe one difference between the way Jesus taught versus the religious leaders is that Jesus spoke about what He had experienced as true. He lived His message. The other teachers were students of the book – intellectual aficionados.
When Jesus spoke of healing, He made people well. When Jesus spoke of power over the enemy, he drove out demons. We Jesus spoke of the truth, He never told a lie. When Jesus spoke about forgiveness, He never harboured any malice toward anyone. The power to impact a life is not just in words but in demonstration of power. There is an impartational reality that our influence is only to the extent that our words are integral to who we are. Who we are being speaks louder than what we are saying. And I’m not talking about our track record here. A track record speaks to external accomplishments. 30 years of marriage could be an external track record or it could be 30 years of actively appreciating more and more about your spouse, learning to forgive more and more quickly, learning to ask forgiveness with greater sincerity, becoming more open and vulnerable, 30 years of deepening intimacy and faithfulness of heart. I’m talking about character of heart.
The real punch line here is this: When you have real authority you do not need to rely on institutional authority (like the Scribes and Pharisees). Today it is easy to set our base of influence on our position in an organization or our title or our reputation. That sets us on a path to gain greater influence through climbing the church ladder and accumulating titles rather than forging a life of deep character and fullness of the presence of God. Jesus is looking for men and women who will walk in real authority. Generals of character and intimacy with God. Such men need no commendations from flesh. The presence of Jesus in them is their seal of authenticity.
Self-examination: Has our talk exceeded our character development? Is the substance of our life authoritative? Are we full of Jesus? Are we focused on growing deep roots of character and intimacy with God below ground or lots of branches and leaves of titles and accomplishments above ground?
Thank you Moma Pat for charging me with this question. It has truly been a wonderful time in the presence of God writing this with Papa, Jesus and Holy Spirit. It has certainly challenged and inspired me in very profound ways. I have aspired to design my educational programmes with these principles in mind but there are deeper depths to explore.
I hope it is a blessing to others as well.
Copyright 2023, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.
I would not be who I am today without my grandparents. My parents were not rich and had to prioritize how they spent their finite income. When I needed braces my Grampa stepped in to assist. When I wanted to go to university, he stepped in again to pay tuition for my first year.
My grandparents also provided a different kind of input… At a time in their lives when my parents were busy trying to make ends meet and dealing with their own personal struggles, my grandparents were at a stage in their lives to just be present with us. My sister and I went by them every weekend and every school vacation.
On some vacations, we went to camp and stayed with our great aunt. We would wake up every morning to Aunty Lu making us breakfast while singing hymns. We loved it when she made us cake because we got to lick the bowl. Yum! And when I was learning to make breakfast for myself, she never made a fuss when I repeatedly made a mess trying to figure out how to crack open eggs.
Granny lived for every single detail of what was happening in our lives. She was my steadfast cheerleader. She let me know that I was valued and cherished at some of the lowest points in my life. I have never spoken of this but in her last days here on earth I went to visit her and, as she struggled through waves of pain, she said, “Thank you Matik.”
I was taken aback. “For what?” I asked.
“For being you.”
That was my Granny.
I believe that when one reaches a certain age, the experiences of life bring a certain clarity – an appreciation of what is important. And, if one has been a good student of life, it also brings the relational and emotional tools to become a better agent of love. I have often heard people say that the grandparents that their children experience are nothing like how they experienced the same people as parents. There is some truth to this and in a sense, that’s how it should be. That’s why we need grandparents. I see my parents being these agents of love to my sister and me and our children.
This is also true of spiritual grandparents. The older generation in our church communities is a vital component. I firmly believe that little old ladies are the pillars of the church. I love to spend time with them! Spiritual grandparents teach us how to love steadfastly, how to pray without ceasing, how to live in perpetual hope, and how to rise above the pettiness that sometimes consumes the younger generations.
Sadly, many of us do not understand the role of spiritual grandparents and their gift is left unopened, languishing on the pews and stranded on the pulpit.
There are two main deceptions that cause this. The first is that we tend to value people based on gifting instead of maturity. We want to receive from those who seem great – the charismatic preacher, the prophet who unveils great mysteries, the evangelist who draws thousands to Christ, the teacher who knows all the Hebrew and Greek words, the reverend bishop apostle who has millions of followers and hundreds of books… These are our heroes – the ones we seek – the ones we emulate. What we fail to realize is that a greatly gifted person is not necessarily a very mature person. A mature person is full of the fruit of the Spirit – love, joy, peace, kindness, patience, gentleness, faith, goodness, and self-control.
Mature people – spiritual grandparents – are indispensable for the health of the Body of Christ. Spending one hour with a mature person who is full of the fruit of the Spirit is far more profitable than spending months with a noisy gong (1 Co 13:1-3). When we don’t value our spiritual grandparents, they become mere ornaments in our community, and we are robbed of their treasure. New believers should always be part of smaller groups that do life with older mature Christians so that the generations build upon one another instead of starting over from scratch again and again.
The second deception is when the grandparents themselves don’t understand their role and still try to be parents. Spiritual grandparents function the same as natural grandparents; they are agents of love that come alongside parents in a supportive role to fill in missing gaps and to lovingly show their grandchildren (immature Christians) how to live like Christ. Their love is quiet and behind the scenes, but it is powerfully transformative. It is tragic when a leader doesn’t know when to transition from frontstage to backstage. All leaders need to know when it is time to let the next generation take the reins and move into a supportive role. To move from parent to grandparent requires a switch from the busyness of pioneering the move of God to a slower more relational way of being with others. Grandparents are the heart of the community. Grandparents understand that an intimate heart-to-heart with one person over a cup of coffee is just as important as a sermon to thousands.
Sending my love to all the natural and spiritual grandparents in my life.
Copyright 2022, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.
Spiritual Formation 201 is starting in January!
If you are hungry for a deeper walk with God and like-minded believers to walk alongside you in loving community for a season then why not join us?!
I have been working for the same company for 18 years. I started as the Marketing Officer and then got promoted to Vice President Marketing. That’s a long time to be working in the same department. My job was never boring. I liked what I did and there were plenty of opportunities to get involved in initiatives and projects that kept me learning. Nevertheless, I began to feel a yearning in my soul for something more. It didn’t help when a few organizational changes also contributed to my growing demotivation.
Then God spoke. Or maybe I listened for the first time (to God and to my wife), instead of just telling Him what I wanted Him to do. Whichever it was, it was clear that He was calling me out from this malaise to re-engage with my job. “Alright if You insist,” I grudgingly obeyed. “OK Matik, you are going to re-invent yourself!” This was my inner pep talk as I began to brainstorm ways to enhance myself and my portfolio in ways that were meaningful to me. I had a masterplan, and I was excited.
The very next week my boss called me into his office. “Matik, I want you to disrupt yourself.” As he began to challenge me to come back to him with a plan to re-invent myself, I was laughing like a child and praising God on the inside. He had no idea how ready I was for this challenge. LOL.
Moments like these always cause me pause. Moments when the realness of God at work in my life becomes so tangible. It’s like a tree root bursting out at the surface of the earth, that evidences the vast root system that lies unseen below your feet. Oh God, thank You for unveiling Your goodness in my life. Every time I make one tiny step towards You in obedience, you make ten giant ecstatic leaps towards Me.
A few conversations later I was appointed Vice President Innovation and Corporate Agility – a new assignment for me and uncharted territory for my company. However, just how strategically God had set me up, only dawned on me when I began to do some reading in preparation for my new responsibilities. I realized that to be an innovative organization required a culture that was hugely diverse and collaborative; a place where trust was high, and people felt valued and safe; where it was OK to try new things even if you failed. Little epiphanic explosions began to fire all over my brain. You see, for months God had been speaking to me about creating kingdom community where people are valued for who they are, empowered to become spectacularly great and outrageously loved; a place where people find belonging and safety instead of shame and judgment. Creating such a community of believers had become an obsession but I never saw this coming; I never expected God to put me in the forefront of creating kingdom community in my workplace. Sure, I always advocated this type of culture and tried to make it the culture of my team in Marketing but I never expected to be given the opportunity to have such an integrated work and spiritual life in a secular space.
I do not know if this is what happens for all faithful Christ-followers in one way or another – if as we forsake all and follow Him, our paths inextricably lead into greater and greater purpose… or if this is just my peculiar path… But most of all I am grateful… Grateful to God for giving me work that is meaningful and fulfilling and challenging (as all meaningful work should be). Grateful to my boss and the board of directors for trusting me to lead this mission. And grateful to all those who believe in me and support me and wished me well in this new venture.
I do believe that there is no one more innovative than God. The picture of the body of Christ is a picture of what an innovative community looks like. God knows that when diversity is undergirded by deep love and unity in community, miracles happen. This is what the early church looked like. This is what an innovative community looks like. Many different parts. One body. Unconditional love.
As I step into the unknown, I’m putting my trust in Him, trying to love people well, and making this my mandate:
“To create an organizational environment that unlocks the greatness in every employee and brings them together to create a community of collective genius that consistently and profusely innovates.”
Copyright 2022, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.
The Authentic Joy team is starting another cycle of the Spiritual Formation workshop series!
If you are hungry for a deeper walk with God and are looking for a group of like-minded people to journey alongside you in this season then why not join us?
Back in the day, we thought that leaders could only be born. We thought that either that ‘leadership charisma’ came naturally to us or it didn’t. Thankfully, we realized that this was not the case. In more modern times, we were taught that leaders could be trained. I do not believe this is entirely accurate either. It is definitely not the case if you want to be a leader in the kingdom of God. Kingdom leadership is not a communication style, or of a set of tools, or emotional intelligence skills (although all of these are beneficial). Therefore, it cannot be taught. To become a kingdom leader, you must be processed or refined. I propose there are three steps involved:
Calling
Crucifixion
Co-creation
Calling
Every believer is called to be a leader. If everyone is called, then you may well ask, what’s the value of this step? The significance is that I believe everyone has a very specific assignment or purpose to fulfill on this earth. Therefore, it should be one of our primary tasks to determine our purpose.
We have been given the gifts, talents, abilities and personality needed to fulfill our assignment and our assignment alone. Only you can be a good you and that is precisely why everyone is a leader in the kingdom. It’s not a position or a title, it’s a particular facet of God that only you carry to be expressed in a specific sphere of life on planet earth.
For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. ~ Ephesians 2:10 (NLT)
Crucifixion
Kingdom believers must serve from a place of selfless love. What stops that? All our self-serving agendas. The only way to truly become a vessel fit for God’s use is to crucify the flesh of our selfish desires. This is a painful and often protracted process. The good news is that life gives us ample crises and trials that offer us the opportunity to become like Christ. Yes, that is good news! The trials of life are gifts – the potential of a better us on the other side.
This is where many exit the process and instead of becoming leaders that glorify God, we become pariahs in the body of Christ. There is nothing more heartbreaking than men and women in positions of great responsibility who refuse to do the inner work of maturing in Christ. There is no room for ego, selfishness, greed, domination, empire-building power-seeking, and the like in the heart of a Godly leader.
We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. ~ James 1:3-4 (NLT)
Co-creation
Should we make it this far, there is one final step – learning to lead in partnership with God. Ultimately, kingdom leaders are persons who are actively expanding the kingdom of God. That means that they are actively making more and more of earth like heaven. This cannot be done by human will and understanding.
Kingdom leaders need to be actively working by the wisdom and grace of God. These leaders live their lives led by the Spirit. The successful leader in God’s eyes is not one who has the largest church, the most followers, or the greatest number of books, it’s the one who has most diligently built according to His blueprint and commands.
“Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.” ~ Matthew 7:24-27 (NLT)
Let’s Do This!
I would argue that the most dire need in the world today is for selfless servant leaders. The world needs you to become the leader that you were born to be. The internal, personal work of developing our leadership capacity is one of the greatest things we can do to contribute to humanity. Let us not neglect this noble work of character development. The world needs us. Let’s do this!
Copyright 2022, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.
If you haven’t yet, check out our FREE Spiritual Growth Foundation Course in which we cover the four foundational principles for spiritual growth and much more! In addition to on-demand videos which you can watch at your leisure, there are downloadable handouts for those who prefer written content.
As Authentic Joy evolves, we have found it necessary to be more intentional about communicating the unique calling and identity of our organization. To this end, we are pleased to announce a new revamped ‘About’ page that does just that. Here is a preview:
OUR VISION
Our vision is of a world inhabited by mature believers who live like Christ did. We define this Christ-life by describing the way that Jesus related to the Father, His disciples and the world:
Intimately connected to the Father.
Discipling, empowering and unifying our brothers and sisters.
Sacrificially and powerfully demonstrating the unconditional love of the Father to the world.
OUR MISSION
The mission of Authentic Joy is to promote, accelerate and support the spiritual growth and maturation of the body of Christ.
The Authentic Joy Growth Model focuses on 7 core growth processes:
Love
Intimacy with God
Identity
Responsibility
Wholeness
Resilience
Purpose
Our Motto: Your spiritual growth is our passion!
OUR VALUES
Intimacy with God is the one thing
For us, the Christ-centred life is not about doing things for Him but being with Him. Like Lazarus’s sister, Mary, it is our #1 priority to sit at His feet. Everything else is secondary. We will forsake all else just to be with Jesus.
There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her. ~ Luke 10:42 (NLT)
Love is the most powerful force in the universe
We believe that the unconditional, lavish, sticky, fierce, pursuing, jealous, covenant-keeping, longsuffering love of God is unstoppable! We believe that His love for us, our requited love back to Him, and the overflow of love for each other is the dynamic that changes the world. There is no situation too hopeless, too far gone, too dark for the love of God to turn around.
Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. ~ 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a (NKJV)
The world conforms from the outside in, but Christ transforms from the inside out.
We are about transformation. We are convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that no lasting change comes through external means such as rule-keeping, sin-management, or behaviour modification. Transformation starts with the Holy Spirit re-connecting our spirit with Christ, progresses through a heart regenerated by His love and a mind renewed by beholding His glory, and finally ends in an incarnated Christ-like life. The imperative for transformation then is not more education, more willpower, more effort, or more external motivation (whether through fear, shame, or the approval of men) but rather more encounter with God (the only one who can truly change us).
And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit. ~ 2 Corinthians 3:18 (ESV)
Never stop growing
As long as we remain connected to the Vine, we will be undergoing spiritual growth. The moment we become satisfied with how much of God we have experienced, or the cost of losing our lives to gain His (pruning) is too much, is the moment we disconnect from Christ and begin to die. In this life, we are always on a journey of healing, growth, transformation and maturation. We cannot afford not to grow, both for our sake and for the sake of the world. The Father is looking for fruit and only mature trees bear fruit!
I am the true grapevine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch of mine that doesn’t produce fruit, and he prunes the branches that do bear fruit so they will produce even more. ~ John 15:1-2 (NLT)
Be yourself - a facet of God that only you can display to the world
God only makes originals. The physical diversity displayed throughout God’s creation reflects the diversity of personality-gift-passions-strengths He also wants in His sons and daughters. Similarly, the abundant thriving life that we see in ecosystems with high diversity is what will happen in the body of Christ when we each uniquely and fully express who we were called to be! We believe that people must be absolutely free to be different from what we expect or prefer. We refuse to control or manipulate others into our preferred mold. We want to see every human fully embody their facet of God’s multi-faceted glory that He created them to display to the world.
He makes the whole body fit together perfectly. As each part does its own special work, it helps the other parts grow, so that the whole body is healthy and growing and full of love. ~ Ephesians 4:16 (NLT)
The fight is in the head, but the treasure we fight for is in the heart, and we share the spoil with the hands
We fully subscribe to C.S. Lewis’s view that our desires are not too strong but too weak. We are on a constant mission to convert head knowledge about God, to heart knowledge of the Lover of our souls. We want to live lives of deep desire, fully alive to God, and dead to the trifling pleasures of this world. We want to move from commitment to a God-idea (theology), to instead be enthralled by a divine being who reveals Himself to us daily. Yes, we want sound doctrine (head). Yes, we also want a mission-focused church that meets the needs of the world (hands). But without the heart, we will either get insular believers puffed up with knowledge or burnt-out believers serving others out of duty. But when our hearts are set ablaze for God, we become laid-down lovers serving the world joyfully with hearts overflowing with the love of God!
Jesus replied, “The most important commandment is this: ‘Listen, O Israel! The Lord our God is the one and only Lord. And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.’ The second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ No other commandment is greater than these.” ~ Mark 12:29-31 (NLT)
Joy is the atmosphere of heaven
Without the joy of God, life is hard and dry. There is a reason that oil is used as an analogy for joy. Joy lubricates the friction of life and makes us supple and resistant to the harsh environments we will encounter. Without joy, we won’t endure the hardships of life well. Where there is freedom, there is joy. Where there is fellowship, there is joy. Where there is God there is joy! If joy is missing, something is blocking the flow of heaven to earth – either the enemy has us in bondage or we have broken fellowship with God or each other. Jesus came to reconcile us to the Father, heal the broken-hearted and set the captives free. Our mandate is the same.
You will show me the way of life, granting me the joy of your presence and the pleasures of living with you forever. ~ Psalm 16:11 (NLT)
Being a man is not as glamourous or as easy as some women (and men) would make it out to be. We just don’t talk about it. And that’s the problem. The media is littered with the struggles women face in the workplace and in the family but there is a noticeable void when it comes to the challenges unique to the male gender. This in and of itself is one of the biggest challenges men face. We believe manliness includes the projection of strength at all times. This is one of the great issues of our time. It is destroying families, churches, corporations and countries. Men will not be vulnerable, show weakness, seek help or admit failure until they are forced to do so by a catastrophic crash.
I am particularly passionate about this culture of machismo and bravado in the church world because I see the wake of destruction it is causing. I am sure that almost every moral failure of every religious leader could be traced back to a point where the problem was still in its infancy but there was no space in the culture to be open about their problems. To admit that ‘we all sin’ is the biggest sin. It would mean being shamed, judged and demoted. Leaders must be infallible. The enemy, ably assisted by bible-thumping ‘perfect’ pastors worldwide, has used this culture to keep men of God in a morass of moral stagnancy for decades. True transformation begins with the space to ‘confess’ failure safely and receive help not condemnation. *Exhale* I digress..
So, I thought that in this blog I would give some insight into some of my personal struggles as a way of giving some insight into the male psyche and taking a small stand against this destructive definition of masculinity. I was actually grappling with these thoughts (by myself of course) amid the normal daily chaos of family life when I came across a podcast by my cousin and his friends titled Toxic Masculinity. That podcast inspired me to share my story.
I consider myself the leader of my family. I know this is, perhaps, a traditional view of the family structure, but I believe it is still a widely held belief (although most might not admit to it outright). Certainly, it is a common belief in the Judeo-Christian world. I start here because it sets the context for most men of the psychological pressures that we face as husbands and fathers. This has less to do with power and much more to do with responsibility. I abhor submission doctrines that are really tantamount to domination doctrines. I view my wife as co-leader of our family, but I still feel a great responsibly to provide for and protect my family. It’s just how I am wired and how many men I talk to are wired. This is not just in a financial and physical sense but also in an emotional sense. I want my wife and children to feel loved and I want them to be happy and I feel a great sense of responsibility to provide an environment that makes that happen.
As a disciple of Christ, I understand that the best thing I can do for my family is to follow God wholeheartedly. I know that if I align myself and my family with His will everything will be optimal. However, the problem I face is this – who determines what is God’s will? Do I? Does my wife? The children? We all believe we know the right way and often we are not in agreement. This is exacerbated in a blended family like mine.
In a blended family there are two sets of adults and children with distinct and unique cultures and traditions coming together to live in one house. Conflict is inevitable and inevitably each parent feels like the one caught in the middle. For me, on one hand, my wife wants my support in enforcing things the way she believes they should be done and if I don’t it makes her look like the evil stepmother. On the other hand, my children want things to remain as they were before and if I take her ‘side’ it’s evidence that I love her more than them and everything is now about her. This is the tightrope I have to walk every day and it is TOUGH.
Constantly, I find myself in the middle trying to make everyone see things from the other’s point of view. This scenario is not just between my wife and my children. It’s between her biological children and my biological children. It’s my children’s mother who has concerns about what’s affecting her children in my house. Its grandparents who have their own views of how we are bringing up the children. In each case, I am trying not to just brush them off but to actively listen, to hear the heart behind the words and ultimately to have a response that is filled with the wisdom and compassion of God and that reconciles and not divides.
If I did not care what God thought, it would be easy! I could just ignore everyone. “You can’t let your children run your home!” the parental pundits say. (Far less listen to your ex-wife’s concerns). But that’s not an option for me because my God teaches humility and compassion and to value EVERYONE. Many (if not all) Christian counselors say that husbands should put their wives first and children second, but I cannot subscribe to that in a blended context. Children in a blended family desperately need to know that they haven’t suddenly become second-rate citizens.
So, I find myself many times pleasing no one and everyone feeling that I favour the others. This is the defining feeling of being a man for me. The feeling that there is no one emotionally supporting me. I have to be the voice of reason, the inspirer, the pray-er, the optimist, the visionary, the reminder of God’s promises, the bigger person and reconciler to everyone and expect no empathy for my role. Often, I feel emotionally blackmailed into a decision and when it backfires, I beat myself up for listening to my wife or my children instead of doing what I felt was right.
But this is not THE truth. In a sense, it’s a prison of my own making because I am actually surrounded by supportive people! The truth is that my wife is my #1 cheerleader and support. In fact, she could be having the worst day but if she knows that I am struggling she immediately switches to full on support mode. I also have children (some more than others) that say, “Thank you dad for all you do for me.” Honestly, there has not been a moment in my life when I’ve had more support than right now. Yet, I still often feel overwhelmed because I still feel that it’s my job to be the strong one for them.
More recently, God has been teaching me to give my burdens to Him. I’ve always known this in theory… I could say the prayer, “Lord I give my burdens to You” but now more than ever I am learning how to practice this exchange of my anxiety, frustration and fatigue for His security, love and refreshing in tender moments of intimacy with Him each morning. It’s a beautiful place.
Well that’s my story. I would love to hear what being a man feels like for you.
Copyright 2021, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.
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