It’s 2022! Happy New Year! And what better way to start the year than with some steamy, passionate sex! Yes, this is still a Christian blog 😊.
Christian mystics throughout the ages have used sexual union as a powerful metaphor for spiritual union with God. It was Saint Paul (a chaste man, ironically) who said, ““A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one.”
In my journey toward wholeness and holiness, I have been wrestling with my sexual brokenness. Years of distorted sexual messages and experiences have configured my mind in such a way that seeing the divine intent in sexual intimacy is a challenge.
To explain let me share a quote from one of the many books I’m currently reading (I may have mentioned before that I’m a book junkie).
“…desire is one of the greatest gifts we can give to another. It is the gift of receptivity. Being received by someone in love, whether in a physical or spiritual way, is one of the most life-affirming experiences we can have. When a wife opens herself to receive a husband in sexual intimacy, or when a trusted friend allows you to share your deepest hurts or hopes with them, you feel seen. These are healing, expansive encounters. And they mirror the inner life of the divine.”
Kelly Deutsch – Spiritual Wanderlust: The Field Guide To Deep Desire
This truth-speaking from Kelly Deutsch caused my soul to leap. I knew it held some truth that I needed to hear although I did not quite get it at first. As often happens, my mind railroaded me with distractions. The provocative phrase ‘when a wife opens to receive a husband’ filled my mind with a flood of images that seemed much too dirty to be associated with God. I struggled with these seemingly opposing forces in my being. Should I go deeper or turn away? Should I be thinking of God this way? Curiosity and shame locked horns.
Only God Himself could help me sort through this entanglement and see what was true. So, I took my thoughts to Him in my usual morning devotions, and this was what I heard Him say:
“Matik, We want you to know that We see your confusion. We see your struggle to untangle your thoughts and desires. We see your heart and mind straining to see purely; to see Us clearly. We see the condemnation that tries to infect as you struggle with your sexuality; your sexual desires entangled with the deepest desires of your heart, and your thoughts toward and about Us. Know this Matik, We are never ashamed. And We are not ashamed of you or shamed by your thoughts. Bring them all to be reconciled at the cross. We can handle it.”
He always knows what to say 😊. My Saviour accepts me; receives me; as I am; unconditionally. He is not waivered or put off by the immature and incompetent bumbling thoughts of a child struggling to comprehend concepts much bigger than himself.
Soothed by the reassuring love of my Papa I was able to push past the surface and lean into the mystery that He wanted to reveal to me… Sexual intimacy is not just the heated sating of physical appetites but two hearts longing to be seen completely, known fully and in the context of that full disclosure to still be desired, wanted and cherished. To have all our flaws and imperfections exposed and still be found desirable. We want to be wanted for who we are without having to pretend or perform. We want to be affirmed that we are beautiful after all. This is what we truly seek, and this is what only God can truly provide in full measure.
God wants to be with you, with no barriers and pretenses (naked), know you fully (inside and out) and have you look into His eyes and see only hot desire and unconditional love for you. Not only that, but He wants to be known by you too, and wanted by you (if you can accept the thought). God is constantly revealing Himself to us for the explicit purpose of captivating us with His incomparable beauty and eternal love in the hopes that we would set our hearts rapturously upon Him and open ourselves to receive Him.
As I said, there is no better way to start this new year than with a passionate love encounter with the Lover of your soul! May He satisfy you all the days of your life and into the blessed union of eternal bliss!
Copyright 2022, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.
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Intimacy. What does this word mean to you? Intimacy. What are the emotions that it evokes? Intimacy. It’s a word that should only be spoken tenderly, preferably whispered. Intimacy. It captures close relationship, mutual vulnerability and tangible love. Intimacy. It’s a word for lovers.
I just started a book, that a very good friend shared with me. The book is ‘Seen. Known. Loved.’ by Gary Chapman (author of The 5 Love Languages) & R. York Moore and this is the quote from the introduction that my friend hooked me with:
“Why then are so many religious people rude, harsh, and condemning of others? Where is Christian love? While just over 70 percent of the US population identifies as Christian, many of them are merely cultural Christians. They call themselves Christian because they grew up in a Christian culture. More importantly, many of them have not personally and deeply responded to the love of God. They are, in fact, still searching for love. As are so many of us, whatever our spiritual beliefs. And until our deep need for love is met, we are not likely to become lovers ourselves.”
I don’t know what the rest of the book holds but this quote has been reverberating and resonating with other strains of thought and longings of my heart in this season. It has been like another clue that God has given me on my journey with Him.
As I suppose is natural in life, I have been coming into contact with people with a wider and wider variety of Christian upbringings, who have been part of different Christian traditions and cultures. But what I have noticed is that there is one thing that, for me, makes the faith of some individuals overwhelmingly more attractive than others. I can define that thing as ‘intimacy with God’. There is something about a person whose Christianity is centered on a relationship with the person of God. There is something different about a man or woman who is passionately in love with Jesus.
One would think that a personal relationship with Jesus is a no-brainer, par for the course for all Christians, but… (re-read the quote above). Many are still searching for God. You can hear it in the way they pray, their choice of words, what flows from the abundance of their heart. Many have fallen in love with the idea of God. Most have fallen in love with the idea of being biblically righteous. Some love being dominion enforcing heaven warriors. The list could go on and on, and none of these are bad things, but they are not THE thing.
The whole point of Jesus’ death was so that we could be intimate with God. This is what He died for! He rent the veil that separated us from His Presence! By the blood of Jesus, the Father threw our sins into the sea of forgetfulness that they would no longer separate us from His touch! Jesus left the earth so that He could send the loving Spirit to dwell in our very hearts. The entire death and resurrection of Jesus and the coming of the Holy Spirit was our God leaping across the mountains to draw His betrothed to Himself and shadow us under the wings of His loving embrace.
We are His beloved betrothed bride, but we are yet to taste of the final ecstasy of union in marriage with our Lover. Revelations 21:2-4 (ESV):
2 I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. 3 And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. 4 ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”
God’s choice of words in Revelations is not by accident. He uses the picture of a bride and her husband very deliberately. It is the most intimate relationship that we can experience on this earth. Our King wants to share Himself with us and for us to share ourselves with Him. This is the center of the heart of God toward us. Every Word of God has this heart desire for intimacy with us at the very core. All creation whispers, “I know you. I love You. Come to ME.” Jesus’ final prayer on the earth was that we be one as He is one with the Father. He desired that the love fellowship of intimate and eternal communion that He shared with the Father be extended to envelop us. Wow!
This is why the answer to every single issue that we face is, ‘Draw closer to God’. Lost? Lonely? Purposeless? Draw closer to God. Problems in your marriage, in your church? Draw closer to God. Want to walk in greater anointing, gifting, supernatural power? Draw closer to God.
Intimacy with my God is my raison d’etre. This is the purpose of my existence. This is my why and my how. Many sincere souls have tried to sell me ‘accurate doctrine’ or ‘cutting edge truth’ or ‘biblical exactitude’ or ‘the kingdom prototype’ or ‘missions’ or ‘the apostolic’ or ‘house churches’ or any number of a million things as THE key and it has distracted me in years gone by… but not any more… Those years are but an insignificant distant vapour to me.
Some months ago, God said to me, “You have learned the part of the student, now understand what it means to be a worshipper.” With it He gave a clue – the woman who anointed Jesus with the alabaster jar of perfume. I am beginning to understand… worship is about intimacy. There is only ONE THING, one burning, indomitable pursuit – deeper and deeper intimacy with my Maker… now and forevermore. Amen.
Copyright 2020, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.
