A major part of life on this planet is about how we relate to authority and how we carry authority. Our relationship with authority starts almost the moment we take our first breath. First our parents, then teachers, then bosses. Eventually, we may ourselves be in positions of authority.
To explore how we deal with authority, I have chosen four stereotypes for discussion:
- The rebel
- The sycophant
- The tyrant
- The nice guy
The rebel’s response to authority is an obstructionist one. The rebel does not like being told what to do. His strategy can range from complete insubordination to subtle undermining. He is the child who does the exact opposite of what he is told to do by his parents who are frequently called into the school on account of his misbehaviour. At work he is that trouble worker that is every boss’ nightmare. The union is his best friend and he takes every opportunity to discredit his supervisor/manager.
The sycophant on the other hand lives to please her parent or teacher or boss. She loves to be the favourite daughter or the favourite student. She fetches coffee for her boss without being asked, is lavish with her compliments and bends over backwards to meet every demand. She uses every means necessary to remain in favour with her upper line including hiding unfavourable facts. Her priority is to stay in the good books.
The tyrant is the boss that uses her authority to reinforce her own authority or the bully in school. She delights in the ability to bend others to her will. For her, authority is a tool for domination and control. The tyrant enjoys making others lives miserable by making unreasonable demands and setting impossible targets. The only consideration in the tyrant decision-making is what is favourable for herself.
The nice guy cannot bear the thought of not being liked by his children or his staff. He avoids uncomfortable discussions about poor performance and can only take disciplinary action behind the curtains of a higher-level order or clear policy infraction that forces his hand. At home, he is the parent that refers the tough decisions to his wife and spoils them behind her back.
Of course, these are caricatures of traits that may exist in smaller measures or varying combinations. For example, a tyrant boss can often be a sycophant with his boss. The question is, “What is a healthy, balanced way of relating to authority and carrying authority?” The rule I find useful in this regard and the standard to which I aspire (I do not always succeed) is to do the most good for the most number of people.
I believe that if we took this attitude when relating to those in authority over us, we would strike a happy balance between seeking our boss’ goodwill while doing all in our power to seek the best for others as well. That could mean at times standing up to our boss or refusing an instruction or bringing information to light that she may not want to hear or that casts ourselves in a bad light.
Likewise, in discharging our responsibilities as those in authority we would not seek to do harm to our staff or to pander to them. Our focus would be to help them to succeed yet not pander to them in ways that could bring harm to others or the company (all employees).
The same philosophy can be applied to parenting. We seek the highest good of our children which can mean praise or discipline as required. We also seek to parent in such a way as to produce adults that contribute to the highest good of society. One can easily see how producing self-centred or undisciplined children contravene that aim.
Let us seek to do the highest good to the most number of people in all that we do.
Joyfully,
Copyright 2018, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.