The Enneagram is a model which consists of nine personality types. The model proposes that every person falls into one of the nine types. It is not a perfect system of course. It’s kind of like giving everyone a colour that matches their personality. There are as infinite a number of colours as there are personalities but we can form broad categories like reds and greens.
I recently did a questionnaire that revealed that I was a type seven; The Enthusiast. According to https://www.enneagraminstitute.com, sevens are extroverted, optimistic, versatile, and spontaneous. Playful, high-spirited, and practical, they can also misapply their many talents, becoming over-extended, scattered, and undisciplined. They constantly seek new and exciting experiences, but can become distracted and exhausted by staying on the go. They typically have problems with impatience and impulsiveness.
As I read more and reflected, I gained some valuable insights into myself and how I relate to others. There were some things that did not apply to me and others that ‘fell in my garden’ as we say. Now I know some people don’t place much stock in personality typing. Some take the ‘I can’t be placed in a box’ stance or the ‘only God defines me’ stance. To which I say:
- Nothing about personality typing limits you or places you in a box. It does quite the opposite. It can give you greater insight into what drives you, what are your strengths and what are your weaknesses which frees you to choose a path of growth that’s best for you.
- The types are not designed to define you but to describe you (generally). If God made you an introvert for example the test will just reflect your natural God-defined nature.
I have done numerous of these types of assessments. For example, I am an ENTJ (Extrovert-Intuition-Thinking-Judgement) under the Myers-Briggs model and an I (Influence) under the DISC profile. Each assessment has provided feedback that I have used to grow and develop as a person.
But for me the real bonus of understanding these models in some depth has been the appreciation for the different personalities of the people I live and work with. It has made me more understanding and compassionate.
When it comes to relationships, I wish I had understood more about this stuff earlier in life. For example, the five love languages (http://www.5lovelanguages.com) proposes that every person has their particular way in which they give and receive love. I have found this to be so true and so empowering. The five love languages are:
- Words of affirmation
- Acts of service
- Receiving gifts
- Quality time
- Physical touch
If you are married, in a relationship or thinking of being in a relationship (have I covered everyone) I highly recommend finding out your love language. Imagine if your highest scoring love language is physical touch and you marry someone for whom that is their lowest scoring love language?! The more you know, the better able you are to articulate your needs and show your partner love in their language. For example, gifts are dead last for me. You could buy me a new BMW and I would be like “Thanks.”
As Polonius said in Hamlet, “To thine own self be true.” Well, the more you know about yourself, the truer you can be. Greater self-awareness and greater ability to understand and celebrate the diversity of personalities in your world will undoubtedly lead to more joyful and fulfilling relationships. And you know what they say; the quality of your life is really the quality of your relationships.
Joyfully,
Copyright 2017, Matik Nicholls