Tag: #trainingvstrying

A training mindset approaches our relationship with the Holy Spirit like a coach who is deeply invested in and committed to our growth. We have a coach who longs to be a partner in our progressive sanctification.

Remember those moments of reflecting on our failure that we mentioned earlier? Well, those moments are also an opportunity to process with God. This is powerful. The Holy Spirit knows you better than you know yourself and knows how to help you to grow like no one else does!

If we can release ourselves from the guilt and shame that often keeps us from approaching God and realize that He sees us through eyes of deep compassion, then we can unlock a level of healing and wisdom that is simply transformative.

Every time I have brought my darkest desires (the ones I would never even voice), my deepest fears, or my most shameful thoughts to God, it has resulted in something transformative. (Even if it has simply been a revelation of just how loving and compassionate God is.)

All champions know that a coach is essential to their success. A coach sees the potential in us that we don’t see in ourselves. A coach also sees the barriers to our progress that we don’t have the wisdom or objectivity to see. He can see when our stride is too long or when our follow-through is an issue. In like manner, the Holy Spirit knows what to target to move us forward and how to encourage and motivate us in a language we can relate to.

Up next, community!

Someone training for a marathon may need to focus on their diet, mindset, and breathing to get to the desired outcome. It is the same with our spiritual growth. To achieve the behavioural outcome we desire, we must address deeper issues like our mindsets, identity, beliefs, and values.

Often, we can become too sin-focused, which results in the very opposite of what we are trying to achieve. Obsessing over not doing something is the worst way to approach our growth. Instead, we need to find the roots of the issue and put a holistic training program in place.

For example, say I have a problem with over-eating. A trying mindset will be all about focusing on controlling how much I eat. However, the roots of my struggle may involve issues with my identity, stress coping mechanisms, and the relationships in my life. Therefore, a trying mindset will be ineffective and frustrating because all the underlying causes (the roots) remain untouched.

Training often seems unrelated to the outcome we desire, like the Karate Kid painting walls to learn karate. However, it is actually addressing the roots that impact the entire tree of your life.

Next, we discuss how a coach is essential to training.

See you then!

The first element of a training mindset is self-compassion.

A training mindset recognizes that we are all imperfect beings on a path of sanctification and healing. We are all works in progress. There is no benefit to beating yourself up when you fail. God does not beat us up when we fail. He meets us with mercy and compassion. So, why shouldn’t we do the same?

This is extremely difficult to grasp when in many religious circles we equate a self-compassionate approach as being compromising or soft on sin. But it does not have to be. We can maintain an uncompromising view of sin while being gentle on ourselves. Our aim is progress, not perfection.

When we have a compassionate view of ourselves, it frees us to learn from failure. And this is one of the huge superpowers of a training mindset – every failure becomes an opportunity to learn about ourselves and what is not working in our training programme. This is so critical for real growth. When we give in to a temptation, if we can carefully examine the thoughts and emotions that led us to the sin without turning away in shame, then we gain the insights needed to heal and grow. Without these insights, we will never truly grow. Without these insights, the most we can hope for is to cope, never to overcome.

Self-compassion enables us to move from hiding and repression to exploration and discovery of the root causes of our afflictions. But that’s for the next instalment…

See you then!

One of the concepts that we teach at Authentic Joy is the idea that in pursuing spiritual growth we need to have a training mindset not a trying mindset. We often use the metaphor of running a marathon to explain. In the metaphor, the ‘marathon’ is that challenge in your life that you are trying to overcome. Some examples are impatience, unforgiveness, pornography, a short temper, anxiety, racial prejudice or over-eating.

A trying mindset would be like waking up on the day of the marathon and saying, “Today I will finish this marathon! God says I’m more than a conqueror!” And so, we set off to try our best to complete the marathon… without training. Our determination and grit may get us halfway there, but without putting in the training, we inevitably end up face down in a puddle of sweat and tears.

A training mindset, on the other hand, would be like waking up every morning and training for the marathon. Training prioritizes consistency and progress over the end result. It embraces learning from failure as a necessary pathway to growth.

One of the most damaging things about a trying mindset is the cycle of guilt and shame that results when we do not achieve our goal. This has been one of the most difficult mindsets to change in my own life. In the areas where I struggle with an ongoing sin issue, every time I fall, my tendency is to beat myself up and wallow in shame. Then, to comfort myself, I end up even deeper in self-destructive behaviours. When I finally muster up the courage to go back to God in repentance (again), it resembles something like this: “This time, this time, I mean it God. This time I will stay the course.” And so, the cycle begins again. With no real plan, change is unlikely.

A training mindset has the potential to break this cycle, but there are several components to the approach that need to be implemented:

• Self-compassion
• Roots not shoots
• Coaching
• Community

I will unpack each of these facets of the training mindset in this series.

See you for the next instalment!