Tag: #transformation

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How Is Waiting Changing You?

This Advent, I am stirring my heart up for Jesus with the aid of a series of Advent meditations from John Mark Comer and the Practicing The Way community. Their first meditation is by Gemma Ryan and comes from Luke 2, where Simeon encounters the baby Jesus in the temple.

As I meditated on this man Simeon, I wondered what made him different from his peers.
Between Malachi and Jesus’ arrival is the 400-year period known as the ‘silent years’ because God did not speak to His people during that period. It is this 400-year wait in silence from which the Scribes and Pharisees emerged. Four hundred years without a word from God. Four hundred years waiting for the Messiah to deliver them from oppression. So, what did they do? They doubled down on what they did have – the Torah. They dissected it, memorized it, debated it, and built culture around it. All the while, drifting further and further from God. To the extent that when the Messiah finally arrived, for all their knowledge of and dedication to the laws of God, they had no ability to recognize Him when He stood right in front of them.

But Simeon was different.

Whereas the Pharisees pressed into practices that relied on their cognition, reasoning, and intellectual ability, Simeon was a man of the Spirit. The Bible says that the Holy Spirit was upon Simeon, and he was led by the Spirit. In a time before the Holy Spirit was poured out on all flesh! Somehow, Simeon has stepped into a dimension of relationship with God that was uncommon among his peers.

While the Scribes and Pharisees depended on knowing the Law, Simeon depended on knowing the Spirit. The Bible says that he was righteous and devout. I believe these words are significant. I believe the word righteous suggests that Simeon was probably as dedicated as the Scribes and Pharisees were to observing the Law. However, I believe the word devout indicates that he also had a commitment to and holy reverence for God Himself. Simeon was not just devoted to knowing the Law; he was devoted to knowing God. He engaged not only in cognitive practices but spiritual practices that honed his ability to host, be led by, and know the Holy Spirit.

Without a live connection with God, knowledge makes us puffed up, self-righteous, overly confident in our knowledge, and ultimately unable to recognize God because He isn’t recognized through intellectual reasoning but through spiritual discernment. That’s why the Scribes and Pharisees couldn’t recognize Jesus. They were using all the wrong senses and looking at all the wrong measures. They were concerned with whether He healed on the Sabbath, or which town He came from, or His outrageous claims to be the Son of God. We too have our boxes just as they had theirs, and if it doesn’t fit in the box, then it cannot be an authentic move/person/word of God.

However, Simeon was led by the Spirit. All Simeon desperately wanted was to see Jesus, and He was utterly dependent on God to orchestrate and define that encounter. There was nothing Simeon could do to achieve it; he just had to wait and be open to receiving Jesus, however He chose to show up.

What challenged me the most in this meditation was the idea that waiting changes you. There are many promises that I feel that I have been waiting on for some time in my life, and particularly in this season. And I’m wondering… am I becoming a Pharisee or a Simeon?
Am I engaging in practices that are making me puffed up and self-righteous? Or am I engaging in practices that are attuning me to the Spirit and what He is doing now while I wait? Am I waiting on God or on an outcome? Is my hope in Jesus or in the thing that I’m waiting for? Will I even recognize Him when He turns up in a way I didn’t expect or prefer? Will I still be happy to see Him if He doesn’t come the way I think He should? If He doesn’t deliver me from my ‘Roman oppressors’, will I still rejoice? Can I wait on God as an act of surrender that acknowledges everything will happen in His time and on His terms? And can I be joyful in that? Can I be full of joy and hope while I wait?

I think that that is the purpose of waiting – to change us. To shift the locus of our hope from something to Someone. To shift our dependence from self to God. To shift us from natural discernment to spiritual discernment.

If our hope and trust is in Jesus, we will never be disappointed. Because He always turns up, just not always how and when we want Him to. And that’s OK. In fact, it’s better!

Copyright 2025, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.
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Training Versus Trying Part 5 – Community

Welcome to the last instalment of our Training Versus Trying series! Today we are talking about Community.

A training approach recognizes that as spiritual athletes, we grow fastest when we train with others. However, it is a particular type of community that we need to grow. One that is not very common. When we think of community in a church setting, we normally think of the brothers and sisters with whom we attend church or maybe those who are a part of a ministry that we serve in.

However, the type of community that I am talking about is a training community – a small circle of people with whom we share our inner lives. It is a community committed to walking together in pursuit of God without trying to fix, or save, or advise each other. Often, as Christians, we try to force our training regimen on everyone else without honoring the unique person that they are and the unique work that God is doing in their lives.

This is something I have with very few people. Most Christians, in my experience, do not have deep conversations about the things that matter, or if they do, it is in the context of giving advice or holding each other accountable. Some even think it is their job to condemn and shame. However, what I have found is that what most people need is actually just a safe space to talk about the deep inner things that truly matter without being judged, reproached, corrected, or Bible-verse-slapped. In a supportive and safe environment such as this, there exists the ideal conditions for God to speak. Or to stick with our analogy, for God to coach us as a group.

I’m not saying that God cannot use another person to correct us or to give us feedback where we may have a blind spot. He does use people in our lives like that. I’m saying that in a training community, that is a small part of why we get together, and it is accomplished more indirectly through vulnerable sharing, asking each other probing questions, and discerning God’s voice together.

In a community of Christians-in-training there is safety and freedom to talk about what new training techniques we are trying, what is not working, and what we are working through with our Coach. In that kind of community, we are celebrated, encouraged, inspired, and supported. In that kind of community, we can give a voice to our soul and hear the heart of others in ways that bring redemption, healing, and transformation.

Well, we have come to the end of this little series. I hope it has been helpful to you.

Train well, my fellow disciples of Christ!

Copyright 2025, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.
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Training Versus Trying Part 4 – Coaching

A training mindset approaches our relationship with the Holy Spirit like a coach who is deeply invested in and committed to our growth. We have a coach who longs to be a partner in our progressive sanctification.


Remember those moments of reflecting on our failure that we mentioned earlier? Well, those moments are also an opportunity to process with God. This is powerful. The Holy Spirit knows you better than you know yourself and knows how to help you to grow like no one else does!


If we can release ourselves from the guilt and shame that often keeps us from approaching God and realize that He sees us through eyes of deep compassion, then we can unlock a level of healing and wisdom that is simply transformative.


Every time I have brought my darkest desires (the ones I would never even voice), my deepest fears, or my most shameful thoughts to God, it has resulted in something transformative. (Even if it has simply been a revelation of just how loving and compassionate God is.)

All champions know that a coach is essential to their success. A coach sees the potential in us that we don’t see in ourselves. A coach also sees the barriers to our progress that we don’t have the wisdom or objectivity to see. He can see when our stride is too long or when our follow-through is an issue. In like manner, the Holy Spirit knows what to target to move us forward and how to encourage and motivate us in a language we can relate to.

Up next, community!

Copyright 2025, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.
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Training Versus Trying Part 3 – Roots Not Shoots

Someone training for a marathon may need to focus on their diet, mindset, and breathing to get to the desired outcome. It is the same with our spiritual growth. To achieve the behavioural outcome we desire, we must address deeper issues like our mindsets, identity, beliefs, and values.

Often, we can become too sin-focused, which results in the very opposite of what we are trying to achieve. Obsessing over not doing something is the worst way to approach our growth. Instead, we need to find the roots of the issue and put a holistic training program in place.

For example, say I have a problem with over-eating. A trying mindset will be all about focusing on controlling how much I eat. However, the roots of my struggle may involve issues with my identity, stress coping mechanisms, and the relationships in my life. Therefore, a trying mindset will be ineffective and frustrating because all the underlying causes (the roots) remain untouched.

Training often seems unrelated to the outcome we desire, like the Karate Kid painting walls to learn karate. However, it is actually addressing the roots that impact the entire tree of your life.

Next, we discuss how a coach is essential to training.

See you then!

Copyright 2025, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.
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Training Versus Trying Part 2 – Self-Compassion

The first element of a training mindset is self-compassion.

A training mindset recognizes that we are all imperfect beings on a path of sanctification and healing. We are all works in progress. There is no benefit to beating yourself up when you fail. God does not beat us up when we fail. He meets us with mercy and compassion. So, why shouldn’t we do the same?


This is extremely difficult to grasp when in many religious circles we equate a self-compassionate approach as being compromising or soft on sin. But it does not have to be. We can maintain an uncompromising view of sin while being gentle on ourselves. Our aim is progress, not perfection.


When we have a compassionate view of ourselves, it frees us to learn from failure. And this is one of the huge superpowers of a training mindset – every failure becomes an opportunity to learn about ourselves and what is not working in our training programme. This is so critical for real growth. When we give in to a temptation, if we can carefully examine the thoughts and emotions that led us to the sin without turning away in shame, then we gain the insights needed to heal and grow. Without these insights, we will never truly grow. Without these insights, the most we can hope for is to cope, never to overcome.

Self-compassion enables us to move from hiding and repression to exploration and discovery of the root causes of our afflictions. But that’s for the next instalment…

See you then!

Copyright 2025, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.

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Training Versus Trying Part 1

One of the concepts that we teach at Authentic Joy is the idea that in pursuing spiritual growth we need to have a training mindset not a trying mindset. We often use the metaphor of running a marathon to explain. In the metaphor, the ‘marathon’ is that challenge in your life that you are trying to overcome. Some examples are impatience, unforgiveness, pornography, a short temper, anxiety, racial prejudice or over-eating.

A trying mindset would be like waking up on the day of the marathon and saying, “Today I will finish this marathon! God says I’m more than a conqueror!” And so, we set off to try our best to complete the marathon… without training. Our determination and grit may get us halfway there, but without putting in the training, we inevitably end up face down in a puddle of sweat and tears.


A training mindset, on the other hand, would be like waking up every morning and training for the marathon. Training prioritizes consistency and progress over the end result. It embraces learning from failure as a necessary pathway to growth.


One of the most damaging things about a trying mindset is the cycle of guilt and shame that results when we do not achieve our goal. This has been one of the most difficult mindsets to change in my own life. In the areas where I struggle with an ongoing sin issue, every time I fall, my tendency is to beat myself up and wallow in shame. Then, to comfort myself, I end up even deeper in self-destructive behaviours. When I finally muster up the courage to go back to God in repentance (again), it resembles something like this: “This time, this time, I mean it God. This time I will stay the course.” And so, the cycle begins again. With no real plan, change is unlikely.


A training mindset has the potential to break this cycle, but there are several components to the approach that need to be implemented:

  • Self-compassion
  • Roots not shoots
  • Coaching
  • Community

I will unpack each of these facets of the training mindset in this series.

See you for the next instalment!

Copyright 2025, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.

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BECOMING mature: A Practical Guide for Disciples of Jesus

We are super excited to announce that we have a new book coming out!! Whoopee!!! My latest book, Becoming Mature: A Practical Guide for Disciples of Jesus, will be released on April 21st, 2025!

If you feel like you are struggling in your spiritual growth journey or just not progressing as fast as you would like, then this book is for you. Becoming Mature offers a transformative approach to Christian discipleship using scripture, personal experience, and psychological insights to connect with the reader. Becoming Mature takes you on a step-by-step journey of growth in love, purpose, community, identity, responsibility, wholeness, resilience, competence, and most importantly, intimacy with God.

It’s available to pre-order now on Amazon. Get it here!

And since y’all are my peeps. Here’s a free preview of the introduction.

Introduction

If you can keep your head when all about you  

    Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,  

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

    But make allowance for their doubting too;  

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

    Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,

Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,

    And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;  

    If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;  

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

    And treat those two impostors just the same;  

If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken

    Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,

    And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

    And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

    And never breathe a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

    To serve your turn long after they are gone,  

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

    Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,  

    Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,

    If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

    With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,  

Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,  

    And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

~ Rudyard Kipling ~

As a young boy, Rudyard Kipling’s poem If (quoted above) made an indelible mark on my soul. Before I knew Christ, it embodied what I believed maturity would look like. It was the only poster that hung in my room, constantly reminding me of the man I wanted to become. It is no coincidence, I believe, that maturity has been an obsession throughout my life. In hindsight, it was a God-inspired obsession, a heavenly calling. God has given me more understanding since my boyhood days, both through divine revelation and through practical experience.

I would describe my achievements in life as mediocre. I have a checkered history where my personal relationships are concerned. Today I am happily married to a wonderfully on-fire woman of God, and we have a beautifully blended family of five children and one granddaughter. I attribute this outcome solely to the grace of God. (If you knew my story you would too, trust me.)  My children are good kids. I am very proud of the adults they are becoming but none of them are really on fire for God…yet. I have a successful career, currently holding a managerial position at a natural gas company, but I could have achieved more. I can’t say I have won many souls for Christ, nor have I any notoriety in the Christian world. There is only one thing that I have truly excelled at – inner work. I have a dogged commitment to doing the hard, hidden work of maturity.

So let me set your expectations straight upfront: This book is about the unglamourous, unheralded hard work of becoming like Christ that most won’t see and very few will give you accolades for, BUT it is THE MOST important work that you can do, and if you choose to put in the work, your reward will be great indeed.

Excited? Let’s start unpacking it with Romans 8:19 (NLT):

For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God.

It is significant that in this verse the apostle Paul used the Greek word huios (which is translated as ‘sons’). There are four possible words that he could have used. There is nepios which is a word used to describe an infant. An example of its usage is contained in Hebrews 5:13. Then there is paidion which is a young child as used in Matthew 19:13-14. There is also teknion which describes an adolescent or immature young adult. In the New Testament, it is often used by a teacher to refer to his disciples who have not yet matured. For example, in 1 John 5:21. Finally, there is huios. It is the word used for a mature son. It is the word used to describe Christ as the Son of God, and the word Christ used for Himself when he referred to Himself as the Son of Man.

Therefore, in the context of Romans 8:19, all of creation is not longing merely for more converts to Christianity, but for all the Christian babies, children and teenagers to grow into mature manhood and womanhood. This is what the world is waiting to see, and this is the cause that I have given my life to. My mission is to be an example, a catalyst and a servant in God’s glorious plan for maturing the Bride of Christ into absolute perfection, full authority and dazzling beauty of the fullness of Christ! I too, am eagerly longing for the church (myself included) to grow up into the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ. I hope it will happen in my lifetime, but even if it doesn’t, I will happily dedicate the rest of my years in service of this vision. Of course, this is not just my vision, this is God’s heart desire for His daughters and sons. He longs for us to come to maturity.

This mission is the reason for this book. My prayer is that you will find practical wisdom here that will help you grow in Christ. This is a book about the how – how we become mature. The contents are the gleanings of my journey toward maturity. I converted to Christianity as a teenager when I became a Roman Catholic through the Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults (RCIA). Then, at twenty-one, I became a born-again believer and got baptized (again) in a non-denominational church with Pentecostal roots. However, I did not begin to see significant growth in my maturity until my late thirties.

What was responsible for this acceleration in my spiritual growth? A God-encounter. Up until that moment I had experienced a lot of religion and a lot of behaviour modification but limited transformation. What I mean is, I was filled with knowledge about God and how a Christian should behave but I had very little (if any) change in my internal desires and motivations.

(To read about my testimony, check out my first book – Authentic Joy).

After my encounter with the liquid love of Jesus, I began to see a change in my life. This was not as a result of my willpower, but through the power of the Holy Spirit, fuelled by His love for me and my love for Him.

This is how it started for me. From that moment, I would meet with my Rabbi every morning with excitement to discover what He wanted to teach me each morning. That was over ten years ago, and it was just the first key to unlocking a life of transformation. On these pages, I will share with you all that I have learned from my successes and my failures on my life’s journey thus far.

Stay tuned for more sneak peek previews in days to come!

Copyright 2025, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.
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BECOMING MATURE PART 2: JAN-APR 2025

DATE: Tuesdays from 7th January 2025 to 1st April 2025

TIME: 7:30 pm – 9:30 pm Atlantic Standard Time

VENUE: Online Zoom Event (Cameras On)

FACILITATORS: Matik Nicholls, Tricia Celestin-Nicholls

DESCRIPTION: Participants will be taken on a 13-week journey that explores topics such as intimacy with God, identity, responsibility, spiritual/mental/emotional wholeness, resilience through trials, and discovering your calling/purpose. Part 2 is particularly focused on how to persevere through trials. The sessions will include teaching, discussion, reflection, and activation in an environment of safe and loving community. The emphasis is practical, not theological. Our focus is on how to practically live out the commands of Jesus and become more like Him.

TARGET AUDIENCE: This workshop is open to anyone seeking to walk more intimately with Jesus Christ and become more like Him. All are welcome no matter your faith tradition.

COST: FREE!

(You must have a Zoom account to register. Sign up for a free Zoom account here.)

CLICK HERE TO REGISTER

TESTIMONIALS

Matik and Tricia,

Thank you so much for a beautiful experience of discovering God’s love. It was so good to learn about the ways in which His love is planted, grows and multiplied in my life.
I thoroughly enjoyed every session and eagerly looked forward to the next one every week.
Each session helped me discover something about God that I hadn’t recognized before. And they showed me something of myself that I hadn’t yet discovered or actually knew but was holding back. Putting these lessons into practice in my life has been and will continue to be life transforming for me.
The wonderful thing is that when I am transformed the people in my life begin a journey also. They may not know it or realize it yet but I know that He who began a good work….
Thank you again for putting into us (me) the way you do.
It makes a difference.
The Lord bless you abundantly.

Much love in Christ
Delores, USA

Hello, Matik & Tricia,

First and foremost, thank you for creating a space where I could be open and vulnerable despite the fear I initially felt. It was truly an accomplishment for me to share my thoughts, and I am so grateful for the opportunity to do so.

Throughout this journey, there were times when I didn’t feel like showing up, when I wanted to skip sessions. Yet, my hunger to finish strong, without excuses, pushed me to honor my commitment to myself. I felt compelled to prove that I could make time for me, even amidst the busyness of the day and the emotions I carried.

Your mentorship has had an impact on me in ways I can’t fully express. When I said I felt like I was lost at sea, I meant it. Life’s unexpected challenges—like the loss of my eldest sister and the difficult relationship with my younger brother who seem to battle hatred and anger issues towards our family —had left me questioning everything. There were times when I felt as if I were being targeted, like I was digging myself out of a pit only for the dirt to be thrown back on me.

But through these struggles, I’ve come to understand that although the circumstances were too heavy to bear on my own, I always had the strength to return to the one who promised to be there for me. The class not only encouraged me but also challenged me in ways that forced me to engage with my Bible more deeply. It shouldn’t have taken this class to do so, but I’m grateful that it did. I’ve made a promise to myself to continue strengthening that connection, and I have been making more time for it.

You may not realize it, but on those days, your guidance saved my heart and mind from what felt like an inevitable breakdown.

Thank you once again for all you do. I applaud the message you’re spreading, and I look forward to joining Part 2 next year, God willing.

Warm regards,
Rachel, Trinidad & Tobago

I loved that this was an open place to share. I had quite a bit on my plate at the start, and being in that space was a healing in itself. It renewed my trust in God. At that time, my husband was having some issues with his sight; he couldn’t see. But listening to the teachings and hearing what others had to share helped me to see God’s hand working in my life, and that of my husband, even in that situation.

It seems like there was something happening in my life for each fraction of Part 2, I was having some issues with my alcoholic brother. He was drinking and getting into fights. But being in a place that I felt safe to share and being taught about God’s continued grace, helped me through. During Part 3, I was not in the best place spiritually; I wasn’t giving God His due, not spending enough time in His presence. But Matik’s presentations (practice and
assignments) helped to pull me out of that place and be more focused on my
relationship with God.

I truly believe that spirituality is much more important than religion. I also believe that God isn’t about saving only one religion but all of mankind. These three ‘courses’ reiterated that fact. Interacting with people of different countries, religious persuasions and socio-economic backgrounds, taught me that I take a lot of things for granted in my life.

I truly enjoyed these sessions and looked forward to them. I would this again if given the opportunity, because there was so much to learn that I’m sure I missed something(s).

Thanks so much for this Matik! May God continue to bless your efforts to spread His Kingdom message to others.

Jeneil, Trinidad & Tobago

Hi everyone. My name is Gillian. My husband and I met Matik and Tricia virtually during our search for a greater level of understanding of the Kingdom of God and desiring a greater daily impact in our lives through a deeper intimacy with God. I have had the great opportunity to sit expectantly through the Spiritual Formation sessions for Part 2 and Part 3 courses.

The Authentic Joy journey has been a real eye opener for me. In their loving way, I was encouraged to ask myself some deep questions, that allowed me to understand who I am and who God created me to be. My fellow course-mates helped in the process by sharing their experiences and what they gleaned as well. I especially liked the exercises and the habits we were encouraged to develop. Journaling is still a challenge but I appreciate the value of it and will settle in one day. Our model was always Christ Jesus and I learnt that real life was thriving in His love, joy and peace and not the false self of the survival mode where I had the tendency to perform for acceptance.

We are all to continue to seek the Kingdom of God and His Righteousness and in this, mature in love and purpose. I encourage you to go on this journey of Becoming Mature. For me although the course has ended, the transformation journey continues. I am committed to ardently pursue intimacy with Father, Son and Holy Spirit. My life depends on it.

Thank you, Matik and Tricia for your passionate pursuit of God and joy in giving this course. I love you both.

Gillian, Jamaica

This spiritual growth 10 week class through Authentic Joy was extremely well crafted and thorough with the foundational principles of our faith and very helpful and necessary for me, personally, to contemplate the basics and see where things got tangled or bent away from truth. Matik and Tricia provide a warm, safe, authentic atmosphere to ponder together and reflect, and then be encouraged. I was edified so much and it was so affirming to my spirit what God has been teaching me, but took being in community-valuing the Body oneness- to actually believe in it fully. I love the emphasis on valuing community to grow. Also their prayers are SO full of life and powerful. I could have spent the whole time in prayer with them. Their deep relationship with God is so felt. I’m very grateful to have been a part of the class with such good company of other believers!

Margie, USA

CLICK HERE TO REGISTER

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The Spiral of Growth

I liken the pathway of our walk with Christ to a spiral because we often revisit places we have been but from a higher perspective. If we do not recognize our upward growth we may feel like we are going around in circles but we usually aren’t (unless we are not growing of course).

An easy illustration from my life is secular music. I love music. In my teen years, I had a collection of over 100 cassettes. (I know some of you may not know what this is and even fewer have ever seen one but it was how we stored music back in the day. A cassette held 60-90min of music.) I had a song for every mood and listened to everything from heavy metal to reggae. Music comforted me through romantic breakups. Music helped me study in college. Music formed the soundtrack of my life to such a degree that to this day particular songs bring back the emotions of particular seasons like it was yesterday. Then, at 21, I got saved and one day God showed me that my music was an idol in my life and I packed up all my cassettes and threw them out.

Fast-forward a decade and I am struggling in my faith. It has become clear that I may have thrown the cassettes out of my room but not out of my heart. Internally, I still crave secular songs especially since (at this time) gospel music SUCKS in variety and quality. Eventually, I left the church and re-united with many of my old secular habits including music.

Fast-forward another decade more or less, and I’m making my way back to God but this time it’s from a place of heartfelt repentance. I’m falling in love with a God so merciful that He would still accept me, forgive me, and welcome me into His arms. Now I realize that the genre of music is not important, it’s about my heart. I love Jesus and I don’t care about all that religious external stuff. Once it’s good clean lyrics, it’s all good.

Here I am today and what’s my position on music? You guessed it, I only listen to worship music. Not just Christian music but only music that leads me to worship God more. But this time, it’s what I delight to do. I can listen to anything but I only want to worship God.

This is what the upward spiral of growth looks like (at least in my experience). This will happen in many areas of our lives. Take past traumas for example. We may at one point be in a season where God is healing us from childhood trauma. Then we may think we are all good only to revisit the same trauma again years later and receive a deeper healing. Then we may revisit again but this time God may call us to become a facilitator of healing for others. And so the spiral goes. In fact, don’t be surprised if while helping others to heal you are again faced with open wounds that are still festering in your soul and have to lay on God’s doctor’s table again, all the while battling feelings of being unqualified to help others.

Paul dealt with this in 1 Co 8 when addressing the issue of foods sacrificed to idols. He recognized that some people lower on the spiral would be convinced that it would be a sin against God if they ate foods sacrificed to idols. while others higher on the spiral would understand that the idol is nothing and they can eat freely. This clash of Christians at different levels of growth with different perspectives on the same issue is very common in our social media landscape today. In fact, I would say if you ever look at one of the many videos ‘calling out’ leaders on blasphemous or heretic behaviour, 9 out of 10 times it’s just a matter of people being on different levels of the spiral.

Paul gives us the way to handle it. The person higher on the spiral actually has the responsibility to meet the other person where they are at. It’s the only possible way. Those looking at their brothers and sisters up above cannot possibly understand their perspective but those above can understand and accommodate those below. When I was in my ‘listening to secular music’ phase I remember a brother suggesting that I only listen to worship music and I was like, “This guy is religious.” Yet, look at me now! lol I’ve learned not to be so fully convinced that I have THE true perspective. If I am growing my perspective will change over time, and the more open I am to seeing things differently, the faster I will grow. I’ve also learned that my perspectives will sound like heresy to some and that argument as a means to influence is usually futile. Some things you have to experience for yourself.

So my exhortation to you my beloved sisters and brothers is to keep this concept of the spiral in mind as you grow in your faith. Do not be dismayed when old issues come back around, instead see it as an opportunity to face it from a higher perspective and learn something new. And let’s not be so quick to call our brothers and sisters heretics and blasphemers ok? We all see the world differently based on where we are on our journey. Let’s support and encourage each other and leave the Holy Spirit to do his work in each other’s lives as only he can.

Love and blessings,

Copyright 2023, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.
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We Only Have One Heart

If someone says, “I love God,” but hates a fellow believer, that person is a liar; for if we don’t love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see?

1 John 4:20 (NLT)

I want to draw your attention to one little word in this verse. The word can. Can is not about the will or the choice to do something. Can is about the ability to do something. The word in Greek means to be able to or to have the power or capability to. And if this is the case then what this verse is saying is that if we do not practice loving our fellow believers then we will not have the capability to love God and that is profound!

Often we think, and I have thought at one point, that we can live in isolation in a ‘just me and God’ sort of reality. And by isolation, I don’t mean that we necessarily become a hermit but just that we withhold our hearts from everyone or at least most people. We think we can hold everyone at a distance but be intimate with God. This verse is saying that that is a delusion. The same relational muscles that we must build to be vulnerable with others and to connect across the things that divide us (race, theology, personality, class, education) are the same muscles needed to connect to an invisible God.

I did not come about this understanding by studying 1 John. That is rarely how God teaches me. It was revealed to me in my daily struggles as I processed life with God. Since I married the one and only Tricia Celestin-Nicholls I have been working on trying to remain relational and connected with her through life’s ups and downs. As with all of us, I have suffered my fair share of trauma and I have learned coping mechanisms to keep myself safe. My go-to is shutting down, meaning that I become emotionally numb and withdraw into my own inner world. There are any number of triggers that can cause me to shut down but any form of criticism or vexation pointed in my direction is top of the list. I can also shut down if I am under a lot of emotional stress. And when I shut down it’s with everybody not just the person who may have triggered it. So you see how my poor wife may suffer the brunt of my disconnection even if she didn’t cause it.

So, I’ve been working on remaining open and relational even when I am stressed or feel hurt or threatened. To tell you the truth, it seems like every time I heal one layer there’s a deeper layer that God reveals that needs a deeper healing. The word trauma means soul-wound according to Gabor Mate. In order for me to love my wife better, Jesus needs to heal my soul. This doesn’t just affect my wife of course. It means that I can love everyone better. My kids. My parents. My sister. My friends. My co-workers. My church group. My neighbours. Everyone.

But back to the opening verse, do you see that it also means that I can love God better? What I discovered that led me to this verse is that as I healed, I was able to stay connected to Holy Spirit better. I hid less when I sinned. I was able to hear Holy Spirit better even when I was stressed. I was better able to leave my heart open to receive the love that I so desperately needed and God so desperately wanted to pour on me.

God showed me that I only have one heart. The same heart that loves my wife is the same heart that loves Him. Wholeheartedness is not an option. Healing is not an option. If we are to obey the greatest commandment to love God with all our hearts then we must work on our relationships. It is in that pursuit that traumas are unearthed, wounds healed and hearts made whole.

Working on loving others is working on loving God because you’ve only got one heart!

Copyright 2023, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.