“But daddy, this is my last chance to be a part of the team with all my friends!” She was crying now, and I was wavering on the inside, but I kept a straight face and said, “Honey, I know you want to be on the team with your friends but right now passing for your first choice is more important. You have to keep focused. Eye on the prize. Eye on the prize.” She was not the least bit consoled. “Honey, I love you and because I love you I make decisions that I think are in your best interest,” I said, giving her a kiss.
It was another ‘but daddy’ moment and like most of them I was not absolutely sure that I had made the right decision. My daughter wanted to be part of the Lego robotics team which required practice sessions twice a week right up to two months before SEA exams next year and she already has a packed schedule with extra-curricular activities and lessons. How she performs in SEA exams will determine which secondary school she will be placed in and that would determine the level of tuition and kind of environment that she would be exposed to for the next seven years of her life. The competition is fierce, and I had decided that there was too much at stake to risk it.
What made matters worse was that her mother didn’t agree with my decision so I was the bad guy… again. As her mother consoled her while scowling at me I knew I was outnumbered and outgunned. Lacking the emotional effusiveness to be able to stand up to the mother-daughter coalition I retreated to the next room.
Nobody likes to be the bad guy in the movie but if we are given the part we should play it without compunction. Everybody and especially every leader, be it a parent at home or a supervisor at work has to be prepared to be unpopular at some point in time. Any decision you make will be liked by some but unpopular with others. So, choose where you will take a stand and stand. Hold true to your inner compass at all costs.
That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t reconsider if more information or another point of view comes into play but do not waver because of fear of falling out of favour with people. That is a fatal mistake.
The next day my little princess snuggled up next to me in bed, “I’m still mad with you eh! Now give me a hug daddy!”
Joyfully,
Copyright 2017, Matik Nicholls