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Month: November 2018

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Stop Judging and Start Relating

 

One of the most common mistakes that I’ve made in my life is judging people that I don’t know. We all do it right? Right? (Please tell me it’s not just me.) We assign characteristics and even worse, motives, to people we have never even talked to! When you think about it, it’s crazy. Or sometimes we’ve met a few people from a particular religion or political party or ethnicity or neighbourhood and we judge the whole based on the few. Everybody who crosses our path who fits the demographic is destined for our bad books. Crazy!

One of the most constructive habits we can cultivate to counteract this bad habit is to try to have authentic interactions with as many varied persons as you can. They say one bad apple spoils the whole bunch, but I have found that it works just as powerfully the other way around; one person can change your perspective of a whole nation. That’s one of the reasons that I love travel so much. I just love to touch, taste and see what looks different to me; what I’ve never experienced before. I love the practice of discovery.

I think the art of building bridges across divides of misunderstanding is even more critical in this fake news world that we currently inhabit. Don’t stay behind your computer/smartphone and pelt stones at the particular group that you love to hate, go out and meet them. One of my favourite examples of this is Daryl Davis. Daryl Davis is a black guy who befriends Klu Klux Klan members. So far, according to this article , he has persuaded 200 members to give up their robes. Now that is someone I would like to emulate. I’m not saying that we will always get someone to agree with our point of view, but we might gain a friend and we definitely will learn something.

Frankly, I don’t think I have ever convinced anybody to my way of thinking (I probably haven’t tried very hard) but I have learned a lot from people with vastly different views to mine and in some cases I’ve come around to their way of thinking. I believe 200% in Christ but I’ve learned a lot from agnostics. I used to believe in beating my children but due solely to a few people in my life with strong views against corporal punishment I am now trying different disciplinary methods. (Admittedly, I am tempted to return to my old ways at every major disciplinary impasse). I used to think Brexiters were myopic but recently I actually met one guy who was outspoken enough to share his views. It was enlightening. His reasoning was sound, and I left the conversation feeling a bit convicted for judging my Brexit friends so harshly and convinced that both sides of the argument had merit.

And this brings me to the final point I wish to make. Please, don’t be afraid to share your views passionately. The most you could be is wrong. There is nothing I find more frustrating than someone who has a strong view but refuses to share it! I know not everyone may be as comfortable (excited even) with debate and confrontation and conflict as I am, but I find it so sad to walk away from someone without ever receiving the gift of their viewpoint. Some say people walk away from these debates unchanged but I disagree. Rarely will I change my view on the spot but I always think about it for days after and a fresh perspective does change how I view things. Even if it is a small adjustment, it’s worthwhile. Some say you should never discuss politics or religion (basically anything that will upset anyone). I say that’s precisely what we should be talking about. It’s what matters. That’s how we evolve as a species, by taking the best of everyone’s ideas and moving forward together.

OK OK I’m off that soapbox…. So…. Get out there and go talk to someone new today!

Joyfully,

Copyright 2018, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.

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The Fire Series: Have You Heard His Voice?

I woke up one morning this week with the epiphany that there are a vast number of Christians who have never heard the voice of God. Not only did I wake up with this thought in my head, but I also felt God’s emotions in my heart. He has such a deep grief over this fact, because His longing is for all of His children to hear His voice.  He is always speaking but we often do not recognize it.

But today, if you are reading this, He wants you to hear Him!

The first thing He wants you to know is that hearing His voice is normal. Do not believe the lies and fallacies in your mind that say that only special people hear from God or that that was only in biblical times. NO, God is speaking to you every day!

The second lie that many of us have accepted as truth is that God is impersonal. God speaks through creation and through the scriptures. That is true. But that is often interpreted in an impersonal way. As in, He speaks to everyone in general. His grandeur and majesty and wisdom are there for all to see in the splendour, beauty and intelligence of creation. That is a wonderful truth! His statutes and commands and truth has been laid out in the scriptures for all who would search it out! Also true! But…. have you heard His personal whispers to you in the dawn? Has your heart burned as you read a verse that you knew was put there specifically for you in that moment? If not, God has more for you.

God is personal. He wants to relate to you personally; one on one.

Here are three truths that have helped me to hear God’s voice more clearly:

  1. God speaks your language. God does not speak English or Spanish or Greek or Hebrew for that matter. God speaks to your heart and soul in a way that is easiest for you to understand and it is precisely for this reason that we often miss His voice. Because hearing His voice is amazingly natural to us, it is easy to think that it’s just our own thoughts. For example, I heard a woman once talking about the way in which her husband heard God that was quite amusing but also very powerful. Her husband loved G.I. Joe and God would often bring to his mind scenes from the tv show to guide him in situations. He would know what God wanted him to do in a situation based on a scene in the  tv show that God would bring to his mind. Let that sink in. What are you into? How do you process things? What’s your personality? Expect to hear God in your own language. Don’t look for a deep voice from heaven or the appearance of an angel. Don’t relegate God to speaking only through a bible verse, He has so much more resources at His command to get to you. God is in you. The Holy Spirit dwells in you. He is speaking in the very mundane dialogue of your life.
  2. There are absolutely no coincidences. Your co-worker did not just happen to mention that issue that you are thinking about. That verse that popped up in your email was not randomly applicable to something that is troubling you. God is using all the resources at His disposal (which is the entire universe) to reach you personally. He loves you that much. He wants a relationship with you that much.
  3. God can handle your mistakes. This is critical because the number one fear where hearing God’s voice is concerned is the fear that we mistake our own voice or the enemy’s voice for God’s. This fear has crippled us into disconnected orphans who only believe what we read in the bible or the preacher says on a Sunday. This is NOT how God intended us to live! Living by faith also means taking a chance that that feeling you have or thought that you cannot shake is God. What you need to know is that even if it is not, God will honour your pure intention and take care of you. The first ways in which I learned to hear from God was the distress in my spirit that I felt when I went the wrong way. You heard that? Going down the wrong path is just another opportunity to hear God! Listen, God is BIG; HUGE. He really can handle his children fumbling as they try to discern His leading in their lives. It is really not a big deal.

John 10:27 My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me.

I’m praying that you start a new journey with God today, confident that He is speaking to you and that you absolutely are able to hear His voice!

Joyfully,

Copyright 2018, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.

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The Speeding Ticket

 

I was cruising down the highway, heading to work, minding my own business, listening to music when suddenly a police car with sirens blaring and lights flashing appeared behind me. I assumed they wanted to pass, so I pulled to the inner lane. They stayed on my tail and the driver signaled for me to stop. “What could they possibly want?” I thought. I pulled onto the shoulder, turned down my music and rolled down my glass.

One of the officers approached, “Good morning sir, you were driving above the speed limit.”

“OK”, I said.

“Driver’s permit and insurance please.” I passed him the documents. He seemed relieved and slightly surprised that I had accepted my fate so calmly.

After writing up the ticket, he handed me my documents and the ticket. “Have a good morning sir.”

“Thank you. You too.” He looked even more surprised and smiled. I pulled off and took care to stay below the limit for the remainder of my journey to the office.

Later that day I examined the ticket. The price of my infraction was TT$1000. It was enough to cause some internal pain as I thought about the status of my bank account. Then I realized that the officer had spelled my name wrong…. and just like that a moral dilemma was berthed.

Legitimately, I did not need to pay this ticket because the person charged was not me. Sad to say, I grappled with this temptation for a few days well. I had committed the crime, but I could escape the penalty due to a technicality. I even wondered if the officer’s error was God’s providence. My conscience, however, would not allow me to justify my considered course of action with the God card. What should I do?

Eventually, I paid the ticket and walked away from my test with a feeling of victory and renewed awareness of my vulnerability. In the end I was bound by a law higher than the law of the land; a moral code that knew wrong was wrong no matter the legal loopholes that were available.

Everyday, all of us walk this path. It may manifest itself in different circumstances, but the test is the same. When these moral decisions confront us, the choice is always the same; to do what is right or to do what we can get away with.

It seems to me that there is a growing movement to push the moral line away from what is right to what is legal. Less and less the question asked is, ‘What is the right thing to do in this situation?’ and more often the question is, ‘What are our contractual or legal obligations?’ or, ‘What is the company policy?’ In fact, it amazes me how easily even the standard of legality gets thrown aside if common practice dictates otherwise. It disturbs me how wealth and social status have become accepted reasons to live unaccountable to the law. I remember an incident publicized on social media where a well-connected woman was caught driving without a driver’s permit or insurance for her luxury vehicle and seemed more incensed that the police pulled her aside than contrite for her lawlessness. Just last month I heard someone admit quite casually that they had paid to get their driver’s permit after failing the exam.

Where are we heading? Do we really want to live in a society where everyone does whatever they can get away with?

Why are we ok to not pay workers/contractors on time for work they have done, or to use every advantage we have in business deals to ensure we gain as much as we can at the expense of the other party, or to use our contacts and wealth to live outside of the law?

We are losing our moral moorings. But how do we get them back? Do we even want to? I certainly don’t have all the answers but I’m willing to ask the questions. I’m willing to challenge myself and the people in my sphere. I’m willing to push back in the board room and in the dining room. I’m willing to engage and grapple and fight for the type of society that I want my children and grandchildren to inherit. A society where we do onto others as we want done unto us. A society where we protect the weak not take advantage of them. A society where we promote the common good over our personal gain. What would happen if we devoted less of our energy toward trying to ensure that OUR children are advantaged, wealthy and favoured and more of our energy to ensuring that EVERYONE can thrive?

That’s what I’m fighting for… who’s with me?

Copyright 2018, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.