One of the most common mistakes that I’ve made in my life is judging people that I don’t know. We all do it right? Right? (Please tell me it’s not just me.) We assign characteristics and even worse, motives, to people we have never even talked to! When you think about it, it’s crazy. Or sometimes we’ve met a few people from a particular religion or political party or ethnicity or neighbourhood and we judge the whole based on the few. Everybody who crosses our path who fits the demographic is destined for our bad books. Crazy!
One of the most constructive habits we can cultivate to counteract this bad habit is to try to have authentic interactions with as many varied persons as you can. They say one bad apple spoils the whole bunch, but I have found that it works just as powerfully the other way around; one person can change your perspective of a whole nation. That’s one of the reasons that I love travel so much. I just love to touch, taste and see what looks different to me; what I’ve never experienced before. I love the practice of discovery.
I think the art of building bridges across divides of misunderstanding is even more critical in this fake news world that we currently inhabit. Don’t stay behind your computer/smartphone and pelt stones at the particular group that you love to hate, go out and meet them. One of my favourite examples of this is Daryl Davis. Daryl Davis is a black guy who befriends Klu Klux Klan members. So far, according to this article , he has persuaded 200 members to give up their robes. Now that is someone I would like to emulate. I’m not saying that we will always get someone to agree with our point of view, but we might gain a friend and we definitely will learn something.
Frankly, I don’t think I have ever convinced anybody to my way of thinking (I probably haven’t tried very hard) but I have learned a lot from people with vastly different views to mine and in some cases I’ve come around to their way of thinking. I believe 200% in Christ but I’ve learned a lot from agnostics. I used to believe in beating my children but due solely to a few people in my life with strong views against corporal punishment I am now trying different disciplinary methods. (Admittedly, I am tempted to return to my old ways at every major disciplinary impasse). I used to think Brexiters were myopic but recently I actually met one guy who was outspoken enough to share his views. It was enlightening. His reasoning was sound, and I left the conversation feeling a bit convicted for judging my Brexit friends so harshly and convinced that both sides of the argument had merit.
And this brings me to the final point I wish to make. Please, don’t be afraid to share your views passionately. The most you could be is wrong. There is nothing I find more frustrating than someone who has a strong view but refuses to share it! I know not everyone may be as comfortable (excited even) with debate and confrontation and conflict as I am, but I find it so sad to walk away from someone without ever receiving the gift of their viewpoint. Some say people walk away from these debates unchanged but I disagree. Rarely will I change my view on the spot but I always think about it for days after and a fresh perspective does change how I view things. Even if it is a small adjustment, it’s worthwhile. Some say you should never discuss politics or religion (basically anything that will upset anyone). I say that’s precisely what we should be talking about. It’s what matters. That’s how we evolve as a species, by taking the best of everyone’s ideas and moving forward together.
OK OK I’m off that soapbox…. So…. Get out there and go talk to someone new today!
Joyfully,
Copyright 2018, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.