Author: Matik Nicholls

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Reflections on Christian Leadership with Henri Nouwen Part 1

I recently picked up one of my favourite books to read AGAIN – In the Name of Jesus: Reflections on Christian Leadership by Henri Nouwen. It is one of those books where the impact of the truths contained in it is not diminished with repetition. This time, particular parts of it collided with my current experience with such eye-widening relevance that my impulse to process and memorialize in writing was aroused.

I will start this mini-series with the first quote that struck me from the book:

“But when we are securely rooted in personal intimacy with the source of life, it will be possible to remain flexible without being relavistic, convinced without being rigid, willing to confront without being offensive, gentle and forgiving without being soft, and true witnesses without being manipulative.”

“Willing to confront without being offensive”. This phrase aptly describes the crux of my current struggle at work. I’m pretty good at the confront part (and there was a time I did not know how to confront people), but I am not as good at the not being offensive part.

If I’m honest, I have been bad at this for a very long time. But I feel like there comes a time when God says, “OK, you cannot take this malformation any further. You need to work on this now.” Or maybe there comes a time when one has the maturity and tools to deal with the problem. Either way, I know I have to deal with this in this season.

Actually, and this just came to me: Nouwen points to intimacy with God as the enablement to walk this line of confrontation without offense, and it is quite probable that I did not have the level of intimacy with Christ that I now have to be able to cross this hurdle. (Ahh, the therapeutic gift of writing.)

The way I see it, the challenge is to be able to authentically say to someone, “I think what you are doing is bad,” without saying, “I think you are bad.” This is not easy, at least not for me. I never shout or curse or demean people, but my wife says, “Just because you say something in a soft voice doesn’t mean that you are not being harsh.”

Honestly, I thought it did mean that I wasn’t being harsh! I mean, c’mon… I don’t curse… I don’t raise my voice… I’m always polite, even when people are impolite and raise their voice at me. What more do you want? Well… as it turns out, what God wants is nothing less than loving my ‘enemies’ even while confronting them. That goes heart deep, below actions, below words, below tone… deeper.

That kind of love can only come from intimacy with Love. Love must dwell in me. Overflow from me. It must be felt. Holy Spirit, help me. I write today not as one having mastered love but as one in the throes of struggle to become more like Jesus and often getting it wrong. I have no advice to offer.

I offer only the consolation of knowing that if you struggle too, you are not alone. Pray for me as I pray for you: Jesus, for every one of your disciples who reads this, give them the gift of a deeper encounter with your ferocious, unrelenting, cleansing, healing, breathtaking love. As they wrestle in their souls, may all malice, bitterness, envy, and unforgiveness die by the power of the cross! May love win the day! May their hearts burn for you and may your love emanate from their lives, from the very centre of their Jesus-enflamed hearts.

Amen.

Copyright 2025, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.
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Training Versus Trying Part 5 – Community

Welcome to the last instalment of our Training Versus Trying series! Today we are talking about Community.

A training approach recognizes that as spiritual athletes, we grow fastest when we train with others. However, it is a particular type of community that we need to grow. One that is not very common. When we think of community in a church setting, we normally think of the brothers and sisters with whom we attend church or maybe those who are a part of a ministry that we serve in.

However, the type of community that I am talking about is a training community – a small circle of people with whom we share our inner lives. It is a community committed to walking together in pursuit of God without trying to fix, or save, or advise each other. Often, as Christians, we try to force our training regimen on everyone else without honoring the unique person that they are and the unique work that God is doing in their lives.

This is something I have with very few people. Most Christians, in my experience, do not have deep conversations about the things that matter, or if they do, it is in the context of giving advice or holding each other accountable. Some even think it is their job to condemn and shame. However, what I have found is that what most people need is actually just a safe space to talk about the deep inner things that truly matter without being judged, reproached, corrected, or Bible-verse-slapped. In a supportive and safe environment such as this, there exists the ideal conditions for God to speak. Or to stick with our analogy, for God to coach us as a group.

I’m not saying that God cannot use another person to correct us or to give us feedback where we may have a blind spot. He does use people in our lives like that. I’m saying that in a training community, that is a small part of why we get together, and it is accomplished more indirectly through vulnerable sharing, asking each other probing questions, and discerning God’s voice together.

In a community of Christians-in-training there is safety and freedom to talk about what new training techniques we are trying, what is not working, and what we are working through with our Coach. In that kind of community, we are celebrated, encouraged, inspired, and supported. In that kind of community, we can give a voice to our soul and hear the heart of others in ways that bring redemption, healing, and transformation.

Well, we have come to the end of this little series. I hope it has been helpful to you.

Train well, my fellow disciples of Christ!

Copyright 2025, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.
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Training Versus Trying Part 4 – Coaching

A training mindset approaches our relationship with the Holy Spirit like a coach who is deeply invested in and committed to our growth. We have a coach who longs to be a partner in our progressive sanctification.


Remember those moments of reflecting on our failure that we mentioned earlier? Well, those moments are also an opportunity to process with God. This is powerful. The Holy Spirit knows you better than you know yourself and knows how to help you to grow like no one else does!


If we can release ourselves from the guilt and shame that often keeps us from approaching God and realize that He sees us through eyes of deep compassion, then we can unlock a level of healing and wisdom that is simply transformative.


Every time I have brought my darkest desires (the ones I would never even voice), my deepest fears, or my most shameful thoughts to God, it has resulted in something transformative. (Even if it has simply been a revelation of just how loving and compassionate God is.)

All champions know that a coach is essential to their success. A coach sees the potential in us that we don’t see in ourselves. A coach also sees the barriers to our progress that we don’t have the wisdom or objectivity to see. He can see when our stride is too long or when our follow-through is an issue. In like manner, the Holy Spirit knows what to target to move us forward and how to encourage and motivate us in a language we can relate to.

Up next, community!

Copyright 2025, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.
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Training Versus Trying Part 3 – Roots Not Shoots

Someone training for a marathon may need to focus on their diet, mindset, and breathing to get to the desired outcome. It is the same with our spiritual growth. To achieve the behavioural outcome we desire, we must address deeper issues like our mindsets, identity, beliefs, and values.

Often, we can become too sin-focused, which results in the very opposite of what we are trying to achieve. Obsessing over not doing something is the worst way to approach our growth. Instead, we need to find the roots of the issue and put a holistic training program in place.

For example, say I have a problem with over-eating. A trying mindset will be all about focusing on controlling how much I eat. However, the roots of my struggle may involve issues with my identity, stress coping mechanisms, and the relationships in my life. Therefore, a trying mindset will be ineffective and frustrating because all the underlying causes (the roots) remain untouched.

Training often seems unrelated to the outcome we desire, like the Karate Kid painting walls to learn karate. However, it is actually addressing the roots that impact the entire tree of your life.

Next, we discuss how a coach is essential to training.

See you then!

Copyright 2025, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.
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Training Versus Trying Part 2 – Self-Compassion

The first element of a training mindset is self-compassion.

A training mindset recognizes that we are all imperfect beings on a path of sanctification and healing. We are all works in progress. There is no benefit to beating yourself up when you fail. God does not beat us up when we fail. He meets us with mercy and compassion. So, why shouldn’t we do the same?


This is extremely difficult to grasp when in many religious circles we equate a self-compassionate approach as being compromising or soft on sin. But it does not have to be. We can maintain an uncompromising view of sin while being gentle on ourselves. Our aim is progress, not perfection.


When we have a compassionate view of ourselves, it frees us to learn from failure. And this is one of the huge superpowers of a training mindset – every failure becomes an opportunity to learn about ourselves and what is not working in our training programme. This is so critical for real growth. When we give in to a temptation, if we can carefully examine the thoughts and emotions that led us to the sin without turning away in shame, then we gain the insights needed to heal and grow. Without these insights, we will never truly grow. Without these insights, the most we can hope for is to cope, never to overcome.

Self-compassion enables us to move from hiding and repression to exploration and discovery of the root causes of our afflictions. But that’s for the next instalment…

See you then!

Copyright 2025, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.

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Training Versus Trying Part 1

One of the concepts that we teach at Authentic Joy is the idea that in pursuing spiritual growth we need to have a training mindset not a trying mindset. We often use the metaphor of running a marathon to explain. In the metaphor, the ‘marathon’ is that challenge in your life that you are trying to overcome. Some examples are impatience, unforgiveness, pornography, a short temper, anxiety, racial prejudice or over-eating.

A trying mindset would be like waking up on the day of the marathon and saying, “Today I will finish this marathon! God says I’m more than a conqueror!” And so, we set off to try our best to complete the marathon… without training. Our determination and grit may get us halfway there, but without putting in the training, we inevitably end up face down in a puddle of sweat and tears.


A training mindset, on the other hand, would be like waking up every morning and training for the marathon. Training prioritizes consistency and progress over the end result. It embraces learning from failure as a necessary pathway to growth.


One of the most damaging things about a trying mindset is the cycle of guilt and shame that results when we do not achieve our goal. This has been one of the most difficult mindsets to change in my own life. In the areas where I struggle with an ongoing sin issue, every time I fall, my tendency is to beat myself up and wallow in shame. Then, to comfort myself, I end up even deeper in self-destructive behaviours. When I finally muster up the courage to go back to God in repentance (again), it resembles something like this: “This time, this time, I mean it God. This time I will stay the course.” And so, the cycle begins again. With no real plan, change is unlikely.


A training mindset has the potential to break this cycle, but there are several components to the approach that need to be implemented:

  • Self-compassion
  • Roots not shoots
  • Coaching
  • Community

I will unpack each of these facets of the training mindset in this series.

See you for the next instalment!

Copyright 2025, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.

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Navigating A Global Deep Fake Distopia

This week, I went to the movies to see Mission Impossible: The Final Reckoning with my kids (spoiler alert). In the movie, The Entity (an AI entity) takes control of the world’s digital media. No one can know what is true or fake. Frankly, it felt more like a peek into the near future than a work of fiction. I began to wonder if (or when) truth was such an elusive commodity, how would I navigate my world? How would we all?

A phrase came to me:

“If we are not led by the Spirit we will not survive what is coming.”

It hit me like a ton of bricks. For years, I have been advocating the need for the church to be able to hear the voice of God, but I suddenly realized that the time of reckoning was at hand. Those who had not invested in intimacy with God would be hapless victims of the deceptions of this age.

In a reality where you cannot tell fact from fiction by any natural means, only the supernatural voice of God can guide.

If we are honest, we’ve already been infiltrated. For years, we have been conditioned to believe whatever comes across our screen once it jives with what we want to hear. Many Christians have been navigating life by the equation: truth = what I want to believe. It’s plain to see in US politics, at least for an outsider like me. I can tune into the feeds from two or more different Christian groups and hear the most passionate, convincing, and diverse descriptions of what the truth really is behind anything from riots to legislation to President Trump’s motives.

Brothers and sisters, if you do nothing else in this season in your life, invest in developing your ability to hear God’s voice and direction for your life. It is the only lifeline that we have.

John 16:13 (ESV)
When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth, for he will not speak on his own authority, but whatever he hears he will speak, and he will declare to you the things that are to come.

A time is coming and is already here when truth will be a scarce commodity. The ability to navigate life via reason and logic will be cut out from under us. How can we know what to choose when the choices may be fact or fiction? How can we plan a course of action when we have no idea if our data on what is real can be trusted? Even applying Biblical principles will be of little use if we are not sure of the facts of the situation that we are applying them to.

In those times, only those who can truly hear from God and be guided by the Spirit of truth will stand. Take heed.

Reporting to you live from the edge of the precipice of deception.

Blessings,

Copyright 2025, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.
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Expansive Hearts Weekend Retreat (Trinidad & Tobago)

For centuries, Christ followers have observed the practice of retreating from the ‘normal’ busyness of life for a period of renewal and reconnection with God. This sacred time revives our heart with passion for Christ, renews our perspective on what matters most, and refocuses us on our holy pursuit of the kingdom of God.

In keeping with this holy practice, we are inviting like-minded disciples of Jesus for a weekend of encounter, healing, and revival. Come and refresh your soul and revive your heart with us!

The weekend will include unhurried times of:

  • Worship
  • Silence
  • Walking in Nature
  • Teaching
  • Individual Reflection
  • Sharing
  • Shared Meals

ALL DENOMINATIONS ARE WELCOME!

If you find yourself feeling a little ragged around the edges, or maybe your faith just seems a bit dry lately, or maybe you are just hungry for more… come join us…

"Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest." 

Matthew 11:28 (NLT)

Date: 6pm Fri 25th to 4pm Sun 27th July 2025
Venue: The Seminary of St. John Vianney and the Ugandan Martyrs, Mount Saint Benedict, St. Augustine
Cost: $1,000 (includes meals and accommodation – limited spaces)
Facilitators: Matik & Tricia Nicholls
Email: matik.nicholls@authenticjoy.org
WhatsApp: 761-5342/686-1408

Make payment by direct transfer to:
Matik Nicholls and Tricia Celestin-Nicholls
Republic Bank Limited (Elerslie Plaza)
Savings Account# 260086069031
WhatsApp screenshot to any of the numbers above

REGISTER
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How Do You Measure Impact?

The past three weeks have been filled with positive milestones for Authentic Joy. On April 21st, we launched our new book BECOMING mature: A Practical Guide for Disciples of Jesus. By the second week, it was in the top ten in three Amazon categories and even hit #1 in Christian Discipleship for a few days. I took a gratitude memory photo (below):

The first thing I want to say is a big THANK YOU to all of you who wrote reviews or bought the book (or both). Your support means the world to me.

But there is more! On Wednesday, I got an email from YouVersion congratulating me on crossing 50,000 plan completions. Yes folks, over 50,000 people have completed Authentic Joy’s Bible devotionals on the YouVersion Bible app! Again, THANK YOU for your support and love. 🙂

I have never been one to measure success in numbers, so while I am excited about what we are achieving at Authentic Joy, it’s not about the numbers for me.

What really motivates me is the thought of making an impact in the body of Christ. The type of impact that is far less measurable. I sincerely believe that the message in my plans and my books is one that will help people to grow in their faith. For me, the significance of the Best Seller tag and plan completions is simply to help increase the visibility of a book that is authored by an unknown entity in this world.

I am keenly aware that popularity and acclaim are not good measures of success in the kingdom. It’s like the gospel singer who has an amazing voice and draws large crowds versus the worshipper who, every time she opens her mouth, there is something inside of you that says, “That woman knows God!” Or the theologian who has mesmerizing oratory skills versus the simple man of God who causes your heart to burn every time he speaks of Jesus. The latter, more amorphous characteristic is the kind of impact I want to make by the grace and power of God.

Making this kind of impact starts long before the book/devotional/blog is written and takes far more than technical skill. It is a lifelong commitment to yielding your heart and soul to God. I cover this in greater depth in my book, where I share this wonderful quote:

“It is not what a man does that is of final importance, but what he is in what he does. The atmosphere produced by a man, much more than his activities, has the lasting influence.”

Oswald Chambers

So, in the midst of this time of celebration, I’m praying, “God, don’t let me lose sight of you! Keep my heart from being seduced by the numbers. Keep my heart ablaze for you and you only.” I am more afraid of success than failure. Success can take you out. I have seen it happen to too many in the church to have any illusions about my susceptibility to its allure.

My friends, keep me in your prayers… and I still need your help to get this message of maturity in Christ out there. Check out the book. And after you’ve read it for yourself, if you find it beneficial, then tell your friends about it.

May your souls be stirred to deep worship in the fires of intimacy with Jesus this week!

Grateful,

Copyright 2025, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.
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BECOMING mature Launches Today!

Today is launch day!

Today is launch day!

BECOMING mature: A Practical Guide for Disciples of Jesus is now available on Amazon for purchase in kindle, paperback and hardcover formats!

Amazon

Are you growing or just going through the motions?

Spiritual growth doesn’t happen by accident—it requires intentionality, perseverance, and a deep relationship with God. BECOMING mature: A Practical Guide for Disciples of Jesus by Matik Nicholls is a transformative resource for believers seeking real growth and a deeper walk with Christ.

Drawing from decades of personal struggle, failure, and redemption, Nicholls offers a real-world guide to spiritual maturity. Once a church leader trapped in secret sin, he walked away from his faith—until a life-changing encounter with God’s radical love led him home.

Now a discipleship coach, Bible plan creator, and spiritual formation teacher, Nicholls walks readers through the stages of growth, addressing identity, intimacy with God, wholeness, dependence, resilience and purpose

Rooted in scripture and personal experience, BECOMING mature challenges you to move beyond superficial faith into a life of deep trust, radical love, and unwavering discipleship to Jesus.

No matter which stream of the faith you are from, whether you’re a new believer, battling stagnation, or seeking more of God, this book provides practical tools to help you grow.

Written with hard-won wisdom from life’s trenches, this is for those ready to break free and mature in Christ.

Start living with purpose, power, and maturity!

BUY NOW!