Training Versus Trying Part 5 – Community

Welcome to the last instalment of our Training Versus Trying series! Today we are talking about Community.

A training approach recognizes that as spiritual athletes, we grow fastest when we train with others. However, it is a particular type of community that we need to grow. One that is not very common. When we think of community in a church setting, we normally think of the brothers and sisters with whom we attend church or maybe those who are a part of a ministry that we serve in.

However, the type of community that I am talking about is a training community – a small circle of people with whom we share our inner lives. It is a community committed to walking together in pursuit of God without trying to fix, or save, or advise each other. Often, as Christians, we try to force our training regimen on everyone else without honoring the unique person that they are and the unique work that God is doing in their lives.

This is something I have with very few people. Most Christians, in my experience, do not have deep conversations about the things that matter, or if they do, it is in the context of giving advice or holding each other accountable. Some even think it is their job to condemn and shame. However, what I have found is that what most people need is actually just a safe space to talk about the deep inner things that truly matter without being judged, reproached, corrected, or Bible-verse-slapped. In a supportive and safe environment such as this, there exists the ideal conditions for God to speak. Or to stick with our analogy, for God to coach us as a group.

I’m not saying that God cannot use another person to correct us or to give us feedback where we may have a blind spot. He does use people in our lives like that. I’m saying that in a training community, that is a small part of why we get together, and it is accomplished more indirectly through vulnerable sharing, asking each other probing questions, and discerning God’s voice together.

In a community of Christians-in-training there is safety and freedom to talk about what new training techniques we are trying, what is not working, and what we are working through with our Coach. In that kind of community, we are celebrated, encouraged, inspired, and supported. In that kind of community, we can give a voice to our soul and hear the heart of others in ways that bring redemption, healing, and transformation.

Well, we have come to the end of this little series. I hope it has been helpful to you.

Train well, my fellow disciples of Christ!

Copyright 2025, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.

Training Versus Trying Part 4 – Coaching

A training mindset approaches our relationship with the Holy Spirit like a coach who is deeply invested in and committed to our growth. We have a coach who longs to be a partner in our progressive sanctification.


Remember those moments of reflecting on our failure that we mentioned earlier? Well, those moments are also an opportunity to process with God. This is powerful. The Holy Spirit knows you better than you know yourself and knows how to help you to grow like no one else does!


If we can release ourselves from the guilt and shame that often keeps us from approaching God and realize that He sees us through eyes of deep compassion, then we can unlock a level of healing and wisdom that is simply transformative.


Every time I have brought my darkest desires (the ones I would never even voice), my deepest fears, or my most shameful thoughts to God, it has resulted in something transformative. (Even if it has simply been a revelation of just how loving and compassionate God is.)

All champions know that a coach is essential to their success. A coach sees the potential in us that we don’t see in ourselves. A coach also sees the barriers to our progress that we don’t have the wisdom or objectivity to see. He can see when our stride is too long or when our follow-through is an issue. In like manner, the Holy Spirit knows what to target to move us forward and how to encourage and motivate us in a language we can relate to.

Up next, community!

Copyright 2025, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.

Training Versus Trying Part 3 – Roots Not Shoots

Someone training for a marathon may need to focus on their diet, mindset, and breathing to get to the desired outcome. It is the same with our spiritual growth. To achieve the behavioural outcome we desire, we must address deeper issues like our mindsets, identity, beliefs, and values.

Often, we can become too sin-focused, which results in the very opposite of what we are trying to achieve. Obsessing over not doing something is the worst way to approach our growth. Instead, we need to find the roots of the issue and put a holistic training program in place.

For example, say I have a problem with over-eating. A trying mindset will be all about focusing on controlling how much I eat. However, the roots of my struggle may involve issues with my identity, stress coping mechanisms, and the relationships in my life. Therefore, a trying mindset will be ineffective and frustrating because all the underlying causes (the roots) remain untouched.

Training often seems unrelated to the outcome we desire, like the Karate Kid painting walls to learn karate. However, it is actually addressing the roots that impact the entire tree of your life.

Next, we discuss how a coach is essential to training.

See you then!

Copyright 2025, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.

Training Versus Trying Part 2 – Self-Compassion

The first element of a training mindset is self-compassion.

A training mindset recognizes that we are all imperfect beings on a path of sanctification and healing. We are all works in progress. There is no benefit to beating yourself up when you fail. God does not beat us up when we fail. He meets us with mercy and compassion. So, why shouldn’t we do the same?


This is extremely difficult to grasp when in many religious circles we equate a self-compassionate approach as being compromising or soft on sin. But it does not have to be. We can maintain an uncompromising view of sin while being gentle on ourselves. Our aim is progress, not perfection.


When we have a compassionate view of ourselves, it frees us to learn from failure. And this is one of the huge superpowers of a training mindset โ€“ every failure becomes an opportunity to learn about ourselves and what is not working in our training programme. This is so critical for real growth. When we give in to a temptation, if we can carefully examine the thoughts and emotions that led us to the sin without turning away in shame, then we gain the insights needed to heal and grow. Without these insights, we will never truly grow. Without these insights, the most we can hope for is to cope, never to overcome.

Self-compassion enables us to move from hiding and repression to exploration and discovery of the root causes of our afflictions. But that’s for the next instalment…

See you then!

Copyright 2025, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.

Training Versus Trying Part 1

One of the concepts that we teach at Authentic Joy is the idea that in pursuing spiritual growth we need to have a training mindset not a trying mindset. We often use the metaphor of running a marathon to explain. In the metaphor, the โ€˜marathonโ€™ is that challenge in your life that you are trying to overcome. Some examples are impatience, unforgiveness, pornography, a short temper, anxiety, racial prejudice or over-eating.

A trying mindset would be like waking up on the day of the marathon and saying, โ€œToday I will finish this marathon! God says Iโ€™m more than a conqueror!โ€ And so, we set off to try our best to complete the marathonโ€ฆ without training. Our determination and grit may get us halfway there, but without putting in the training, we inevitably end up face down in a puddle of sweat and tears.


A training mindset, on the other hand, would be like waking up every morning and training for the marathon. Training prioritizes consistency and progress over the end result. It embraces learning from failure as a necessary pathway to growth.


One of the most damaging things about a trying mindset is the cycle of guilt and shame that results when we do not achieve our goal. This has been one of the most difficult mindsets to change in my own life. In the areas where I struggle with an ongoing sin issue, every time I fall, my tendency is to beat myself up and wallow in shame. Then, to comfort myself, I end up even deeper in self-destructive behaviours. When I finally muster up the courage to go back to God in repentance (again), it resembles something like this: โ€œThis time, this time, I mean it God. This time I will stay the course.โ€ And so, the cycle begins again. With no real plan, change is unlikely.


A training mindset has the potential to break this cycle, but there are several components to the approach that need to be implemented:

  • Self-compassion
  • Roots not shoots
  • Coaching
  • Community

I will unpack each of these facets of the training mindset in this series.

See you for the next instalment!

Copyright 2025, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.

Navigating A Global Deep Fake Distopia

This week, I went to the movies to see Mission Impossible: The Final Reckoning with my kids (spoiler alert). In the movie, The Entity (an AI entity) takes control of the world’s digital media. No one can know what is true or fake. Frankly, it felt more like a peek into the near future than a work of fiction. I began to wonder if (or when) truth was such an elusive commodity, how would I navigate my world? How would we all?

A phrase came to me:

“If we are not led by the Spirit we will not survive what is coming.”

It hit me like a ton of bricks. For years, I have been advocating the need for the church to be able to hear the voice of God, but I suddenly realized that the time of reckoning was at hand. Those who had not invested in intimacy with God would be hapless victims of the deceptions of this age.

In a reality where you cannot tell fact from fiction by any natural means, only the supernatural voice of God can guide.

If we are honest, we’ve already been infiltrated. For years, we have been conditioned to believe whatever comes across our screen once it jives with what we want to hear. Many Christians have been navigating life by the equation: truth = what I want to believe. It’s plain to see in US politics, at least for an outsider like me. I can tune into the feeds from two or more different Christian groups and hear the most passionate, convincing, and diverse descriptions of what the truth really is behind anything from riots to legislation to President Trump’s motives.

Brothers and sisters, if you do nothing else in this season in your life, invest in developing your ability to hear God’s voice and direction for your life. It is the only lifeline that we have.

John 16:13 (ESV)
When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth, for he will not speak on his own authority, but whatever he hears he will speak, and he will declare to you the things that are to come.

A time is coming and is already here when truth will be a scarce commodity. The ability to navigate life via reason and logic will be cut out from under us. How can we know what to choose when the choices may be fact or fiction? How can we plan a course of action when we have no idea if our data on what is real can be trusted? Even applying Biblical principles will be of little use if we are not sure of the facts of the situation that we are applying them to.

In those times, only those who can truly hear from God and be guided by the Spirit of truth will stand. Take heed.

Reporting to you live from the edge of the precipice of deception.

Blessings,

Copyright 2025, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.

Expansive Hearts Weekend Retreat (Trinidad & Tobago)

For centuries, Christ followers have observed the practice of retreating from the ‘normal’ busyness of life for a period of renewal and reconnection with God. This sacred time revives our heart with passion for Christ, renews our perspective on what matters most, and refocuses us on our holy pursuit of the kingdom of God.

In keeping with this holy practice, we are inviting like-minded disciples of Jesus for a weekend of encounter, healing, and revival. Come and refresh your soul and revive your heart with us!

The weekend will include unhurried times of:

  • Worship
  • Silence
  • Walking in Nature
  • Teaching
  • Individual Reflection
  • Sharing
  • Shared Meals

ALL DENOMINATIONS ARE WELCOME!

If you find yourself feeling a little ragged around the edges, or maybe your faith just seems a bit dry lately, or maybe you are just hungry for more… come join us…

"Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest." 

Matthew 11:28 (NLT)

Date: 6pm Fri 25th to 4pm Sun 27th July 2025
Venue: The Seminary of St. John Vianney and the Ugandan Martyrs, Mount Saint Benedict, St. Augustine
Cost: $1,000 (includes meals and accommodation – limited spaces)
Facilitators: Matik & Tricia Nicholls
Email: matik.nicholls@authenticjoy.org
WhatsApp: 761-5342/686-1408

Make payment by direct transfer to:
Matik Nicholls and Tricia Celestin-Nicholls
Republic Bank Limited (Elerslie Plaza)
Savings Account# 260086069031
WhatsApp screenshot to any of the numbers above

How Do You Measure Impact?

The past three weeks have been filled with positive milestones for Authentic Joy. On April 21st, we launched our new book BECOMING mature: A Practical Guide for Disciples of Jesus. By the second week, it was in the top ten in three Amazon categories and even hit #1 in Christian Discipleship for a few days. I took a gratitude memory photo (below):

The first thing I want to say is a big THANK YOU to all of you who wrote reviews or bought the book (or both). Your support means the world to me.

But there is more! On Wednesday, I got an email from YouVersion congratulating me on crossing 50,000 plan completions. Yes folks, over 50,000 people have completed Authentic Joy’s Bible devotionals on the YouVersion Bible app! Again, THANK YOU for your support and love. ๐Ÿ™‚

I have never been one to measure success in numbers, so while I am excited about what we are achieving at Authentic Joy, it’s not about the numbers for me.

What really motivates me is the thought of making an impact in the body of Christ. The type of impact that is far less measurable. I sincerely believe that the message in my plans and my books is one that will help people to grow in their faith. For me, the significance of the Best Seller tag and plan completions is simply to help increase the visibility of a book that is authored by an unknown entity in this world.

I am keenly aware that popularity and acclaim are not good measures of success in the kingdom. It’s like the gospel singer who has an amazing voice and draws large crowds versus the worshipper who, every time she opens her mouth, there is something inside of you that says, “That woman knows God!” Or the theologian who has mesmerizing oratory skills versus the simple man of God who causes your heart to burn every time he speaks of Jesus. The latter, more amorphous characteristic is the kind of impact I want to make by the grace and power of God.

Making this kind of impact starts long before the book/devotional/blog is written and takes far more than technical skill. It is a lifelong commitment to yielding your heart and soul to God. I cover this in greater depth in my book, where I share this wonderful quote:

“It is not what a man does that is of final importance, but what he is in what he does. The atmosphere produced by a man, much more than his activities, has the lasting influence.”

Oswald Chambers

So, in the midst of this time of celebration, I’m praying, “God, don’t let me lose sight of you! Keep my heart from being seduced by the numbers. Keep my heart ablaze for you and you only.” I am more afraid of success than failure. Success can take you out. I have seen it happen to too many in the church to have any illusions about my susceptibility to its allure.

My friends, keep me in your prayers… and I still need your help to get this message of maturity in Christ out there. Check out the book. And after you’ve read it for yourself, if you find it beneficial, then tell your friends about it.

May your souls be stirred to deep worship in the fires of intimacy with Jesus this week!

Grateful,

Copyright 2025, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.

BECOMING mature Launches Today!

Today is launch day!

Today is launch day!

BECOMING mature: A Practical Guide for Disciples of Jesus is now available on Amazon for purchase in kindle, paperback and hardcover formats!

Are you growing or just going through the motions?

Spiritual growth doesnโ€™t happen by accidentโ€”it requires intentionality, perseverance, and a deep relationship with God. BECOMING mature: A Practical Guide for Disciples of Jesus by Matik Nicholls is a transformative resource for believers seeking real growth and a deeper walk with Christ.

Drawing from decades of personal struggle, failure, and redemption, Nicholls offers a real-world guide to spiritual maturity. Once a church leader trapped in secret sin, he walked away from his faithโ€”until a life-changing encounter with Godโ€™s radical love led him home.

Now a discipleship coach, Bible plan creator, and spiritual formation teacher, Nicholls walks readers through the stages of growth, addressing identity, intimacy with God, wholeness, dependence, resilience and purpose

Rooted in scripture and personal experience, BECOMING mature challenges you to move beyond superficial faith into a life of deep trust, radical love, and unwavering discipleship to Jesus.

No matter which stream of the faith you are from, whether you’re a new believer, battling stagnation, or seeking more of God, this book provides practical tools to help you grow.

Written with hard-won wisdom from lifeโ€™s trenches, this is for those ready to break free and mature in Christ.

Start living with purpose, power, and maturity!

BECOMING mature: A Practical Guide for Disciples of Jesus

We are super excited to announce that we have a new book coming out!! Whoopee!!! My latest book, Becoming Mature: A Practical Guide for Disciples of Jesus, will be released on April 21st, 2025!

If you feel like you are struggling in your spiritual growth journey or just not progressing as fast as you would like, then this book is for you. Becoming Mature offers a transformative approach to Christian discipleship using scripture, personal experience, and psychological insights to connect with the reader. Becoming Mature takes you on a step-by-step journey of growth in love, purpose, community, identity, responsibility, wholeness, resilience, competence, and most importantly, intimacy with God.

It’s available to pre-order now on Amazon. Get it here!

And since y’all are my peeps. Here’s a free preview of the introduction.


Introduction

If you can keep your head when all about you  

    Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,  

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

    But make allowance for their doubting too;  

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

    Or being lied about, donโ€™t deal in lies,

Or being hated, donโ€™t give way to hating,

    And yet donโ€™t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dreamโ€”and not make dreams your master;  

    If you can thinkโ€”and not make thoughts your aim;  

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

    And treat those two impostors just the same;  

If you can bear to hear the truth youโ€™ve spoken

    Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,

    And stoop and build โ€™em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

    And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

    And never breathe a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

    To serve your turn long after they are gone,  

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

    Except the Will which says to them: โ€˜Hold on!โ€™

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,  

    Or walk with Kingsโ€”nor lose the common touch,

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,

    If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

    With sixty secondsโ€™ worth of distance run,  

Yours is the Earth and everything thatโ€™s in it,  

    Andโ€”which is moreโ€”youโ€™ll be a Man, my son!

~ Rudyard Kipling ~

As a young boy, Rudyard Kiplingโ€™s poem If (quoted above) made an indelible mark on my soul. Before I knew Christ, it embodied what I believed maturity would look like. It was the only poster that hung in my room, constantly reminding me of the man I wanted to become. It is no coincidence, I believe, that maturity has been an obsession throughout my life. In hindsight, it was a God-inspired obsession, a heavenly calling. God has given me more understanding since my boyhood days, both through divine revelation and through practical experience.

I would describe my achievements in life as mediocre. I have a checkered history where my personal relationships are concerned. Today I am happily married to a wonderfully on-fire woman of God, and we have a beautifully blended family of five children and one granddaughter. I attribute this outcome solely to the grace of God. (If you knew my story you would too, trust me.)  My children are good kids. I am very proud of the adults they are becoming but none of them are really on fire for Godโ€ฆyet. I have a successful career, currently holding a managerial position at a natural gas company, but I could have achieved more. I canโ€™t say I have won many souls for Christ, nor have I any notoriety in the Christian world. There is only one thing that I have truly excelled at โ€“ inner work. I have a dogged commitment to doing the hard, hidden work of maturity.

So let me set your expectations straight upfront: This book is about the unglamourous, unheralded hard work of becoming like Christ that most wonโ€™t see and very few will give you accolades for, BUT it is THE MOST important work that you can do, and if you choose to put in the work, your reward will be great indeed.

Excited? Letโ€™s start unpacking it with Romans 8:19 (NLT):

For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God.

It is significant that in this verse the apostle Paul used the Greek word huios (which is translated as โ€˜sonsโ€™). There are four possible words that he could have used. There is nepios which is a word used to describe an infant. An example of its usage is contained in Hebrews 5:13. Then there is paidion which is a young child as used in Matthew 19:13-14. There is also teknion which describes an adolescent or immature young adult. In the New Testament, it is often used by a teacher to refer to his disciples who have not yet matured. For example, in 1 John 5:21. Finally, there is huios. It is the word used for a mature son. It is the word used to describe Christ as the Son of God, and the word Christ used for Himself when he referred to Himself as the Son of Man.

Therefore, in the context of Romans 8:19, all of creation is not longing merely for more converts to Christianity, but for all the Christian babies, children and teenagers to grow into mature manhood and womanhood. This is what the world is waiting to see, and this is the cause that I have given my life to. My mission is to be an example, a catalyst and a servant in Godโ€™s glorious plan for maturing the Bride of Christ into absolute perfection, full authority and dazzling beauty of the fullness of Christ! I too, am eagerly longing for the church (myself included) to grow up into the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ. I hope it will happen in my lifetime, but even if it doesnโ€™t, I will happily dedicate the rest of my years in service of this vision. Of course, this is not just my vision, this is Godโ€™s heart desire for His daughters and sons. He longs for us to come to maturity.

This mission is the reason for this book. My prayer is that you will find practical wisdom here that will help you grow in Christ. This is a book about the how – how we become mature. The contents are the gleanings of my journey toward maturity. I converted to Christianity as a teenager when I became a Roman Catholic through the Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults (RCIA). Then, at twenty-one, I became a born-again believer and got baptized (again) in a non-denominational church with Pentecostal roots. However, I did not begin to see significant growth in my maturity until my late thirties.

What was responsible for this acceleration in my spiritual growth? A God-encounter. Up until that moment I had experienced a lot of religion and a lot of behaviour modification but limited transformation. What I mean is, I was filled with knowledge about God and how a Christian should behave but I had very little (if any) change in my internal desires and motivations.

(To read about my testimony, check out my first book โ€“ Authentic Joy).

After my encounter with the liquid love of Jesus, I began to see a change in my life. This was not as a result of my willpower, but through the power of the Holy Spirit, fuelled by His love for me and my love for Him.

This is how it started for me. From that moment, I would meet with my Rabbi every morning with excitement to discover what He wanted to teach me each morning. That was over ten years ago, and it was just the first key to unlocking a life of transformation. On these pages, I will share with you all that I have learned from my successes and my failures on my lifeโ€™s journey thus far.


Stay tuned for more sneak peek previews in days to come!

Copyright 2025, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.