As we continue to explore intimacy with God, this week we will look at the heart value – God Is Near.
Meditate on the following scriptures:
John 14:18-20 (ESV) 18 “I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. 19 Yet a little while and the world will see me no more, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live. 20 In that day you will know that I am in my Father, and you in me, and I in you.
Matthew 28:19-20 (NLT) 19 Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. 20 Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”
Psalm 139:7-10 (NLT) 7 I can never escape from your Spirit! I can never get away from your presence! 8 If I go up to heaven, you are there; if I go down to the grave, you are there. 9 If I ride the wings of the morning, if I dwell by the farthest oceans, 10 even there your hand will guide me, and your strength will support me.
Hebrews 10:19-22 (ESV) 19 Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the holy places by the blood of Jesus, 20 by the new and living way that he opened for us through the curtain, that is, through his flesh, 21 and since we have a great priest over the house of God, 22 let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water.
Matthew 1:23 (ESV) “Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and they shall call his name Immanuel” (which means, God with us).
You may recall that a value is something that we do not just believe with our head but that we also have experienced in our heart. We do not just want to believe these scriptures are true. We want to have walked in the experiential reality of God’s Presence with us. So, the questions we can ask ourselves here are:
REFLECTION • Do you experience the Presence of God with you in your day-to-day activities? • Is He with you in your car, on the job, in your family time, watching over you as you sleep? Based on your honest responses to the above do the following:
Repent of any areas of disbelief. If you have given up on experiencing what the Bible says you can, repent.
Use your imagination to create a vison for what it would look like to experience God’s nearness 24/7. How would you feel? Write it down.
Make a habit of inviting the Holy Spirit into your day. In the morning when you wake up. As you drive to work/school. While you eat. In the meeting. Before you go to sleep. Ask Jesus to make your heart tender to the Presence of the Holy Spirit.
The Attachment Theory was proposed by the psychologist John Bowlby in 1951. His work was a powerful insight into human relational and emotional development. Bowlby observed that the care provided by children’s primary caregivers had a great impact on how they functioned later on in life as adults. Based on how caregivers treated their children and the traits they exhibited later in life; four attachment styles were identified:
Attachment Style
Parenting Style
Adult Characteristics of The Child
Secure
Available, sensitive & loving.
Able to create meaningful relationships; empathetic; able to set appropriate boundaries.
Avoidant
Unavailable or rejecting.
Avoids closeness or emotional connection; distant; critical; rigid; intolerant.
Anxious
Inconsistent.
Anxious and insecure; controlling; blaming; erratic; unpredictable; sometimes charming.
Disorganized
Traumatic.
Chaotic; insensitive; explosive; abusive; untrusting even while craving security.
This has several implications for our relationship with our heavenly Father. First of all, Attachment Theory gives us insight into how we learn about relationships and about the nature of love. We were designed by God, to learn about love and relationships from our parents. Hearken back to one of the foundational principles that I outlined earlier – human beings learn through imitation. Every infant learns about the reality of life through interaction with her parents. The truth is that many of us did not have the best earthly parents. They may have tried their best, but they were imperfect humans. So, when God uses the image of the family (in particular the father) to describe the kind of relationship that He wants to have with us, we automatically assign to that relationship, the characteristics of the relationship (or lack thereof) that we had with our earthly caregivers.
It does not matter what we read about or are told about the nature of our heavenly Father, unless we experience something different, our childhood experience trumps our head knowledge. If you have ever struggled with trusting God or believing that He really loves you or wants you or cares for you (even though you know what the Bible says) this is why. Many of us may be absolutely convinced that we wholeheartedly believe that God loves us (I know I was), but our actions betray what we really believe subconsciously.
Based on how we experienced our earthly parents, we may believe (subconsciously):
God is FAR
God is INACCESSIBLE
God is INATTENTIVE
God is STERN
God will PUNISH me
I am BAD
I am UNWANTED
I am UNWORTHY
These are just some examples, but you get the idea. The deceptive thing about this is that we may not be aware that this is what is driving our behavior. In fact, we may be so convinced that our interpretation of God is correct that we are on a mission to impose our idea of God on other people by any means necessary. We will even have Scriptures to back up our view.
These inaccurate beliefs about God that persist in much of humanity can be called the orphan spirit. It is the plan of the evil one to deceive us into living as though we are orphans (even in the church) when in fact we have a Father who loves us unconditionally.
The only way out of this deception is to experience a new kind of parenting. Now, I want to re-introduce to you the idea of being born again not just as the new birth but as re-attachment or re-parenting or as the Bible calls it, adoption. God wants to adopt us and attach us to Himself as a perfectly available, loving and sensitive parent. He wants to become the most significant and influential relationship in our lives. Consider the following verses through this lens:
Ephesians 1:5 (NLT)
God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure.
2 Corinthians 6:18 (NLT)
And I will be your Father, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.
Galatians 3:26 (NLT)
For you are all children of God through faith in Christ Jesus.
Romans 9:25-26 (ESV)
25As indeed he says in Hosea, “Those who were not my people I will call ‘my people, ‘and her who was not beloved I will call ‘beloved.’” 26“And in the very place where it was said to them, ‘You are not my people, ‘there they will be called ‘sons of the living God.’”
God wants us to form a secure attachment to Him.
However, first we need to understand how our family of origin relational dynamics are affecting our current relationship with God and others.
To that end, please complete the attachment style assessment below:
1. I often worry my close others will not be there for me when I need them.
2. I fear being abandoned or rejected by people I care about.
3. I need frequent reassurance that I am loved and valued.
4. If a message goes unanswered, I quickly assume the worst.
5. Conflict with loved ones preoccupies me for hours or days.
6. I sometimes feel I care more about the relationship than the other person does.
Anxious Total
7. I am uncomfortable depending on others, even when it would help.
8. When relationships get emotionally intense, I create distance.
9. I prefer handling problems alone rather than asking for support.
10. It is hard for me to trust people with my vulnerable feelings.
11. I feel safer when I keep my needs and emotions to myself.
12. Too much closeness makes me feel trapped or smothered.
Avoidant Total
13. I can rely on others and be relied upon without feeling anxious.
14. When problems arise, I communicate openly and seek solutions.
15. I am comfortable with both closeness and independence in relationships.
16. I trust that loved ones care about me even during conflict.
17. I repair misunderstandings and move forward constructively.
18. I balance my needs with the needs of others.
Secure Total
Sum your scores for questions 1-6, 7-12, and 13-18, which represent Anxious, Avoidant, and Secure Attachment Styles, respectively. Here is how to interpret your results:
Your Attachment Style
Anxious Total Score
Avoidant Total Score
Secure Total Score
Secure
6-22
6-22
23-30
Anxious
23-30
6-22
6-22
Avoidant
6-22
23-30
6-22
Disorganized
23-30
23-30
6-22
REFLECTION
As you answered the questions and interpreted your scores, what feelings came up for you?
Have you received any insights about how your family relational dynamics (or other significant relationships) have affected or are still affecting how you relate to God and others?
In modern Christianity, there is a great emphasis placed on what one believes. Most Christian organizations have a statement of belief that outlines the core beliefs that one must hold to be a part of the organization. This emphasis on our beliefs may cause us to be convinced that there is nothing more required, but that would be a grave error. Granted, we must all start with belief. We must believe that God exists. We must believe that Jesus was born of a virgin, suffered, died for our sins, and rose from the dead. However, this is just the very infancy of our faith. Consider this verse:
James 2:19 (NLT)
You say you have faith, for you believe that there is one God. Good for you! Even the demons believe this, and they tremble in terror.
It is quite an indictment that James is making, isn’t it? Just having belief in God is not much better than a demon-level existence. The sad truth is that many of us believe in a God that we have no real relationship with or maybe even any desire to be with.
What are your thoughts on a relational knowledge of God? Do you believe it is possible? How would you describe it? How do you work on it? When do you all meet? What do you all talk about?
Many Christians treat their relationship with God either as:
Not a reality for today. Yes, people had encounters with God in the Bible, but that doesn’t happen now, at least not ordinarily. We have the Bible now, and that’s how we relate to God. We read the Bible and do what it says. God has already said all that He’s ever going to say – in the Bible.
Or an assumed reality that happens without any tangible evidence that it’s happening. It is assumed that we are in relationship with God all the time without our conscious knowledge or attention.
I wish to propose that a conscious, experiential relationship with God is supposed to be the normal Christian life and that we are meant to do something to pursue that relationship. As God pursues us, we must also pursue Him. God promises that if we truly seek Him, we will find Him (Jeremiah 29:13, Matthew 7:7-8, Hebrews 11:6). This pursuit of God is the #1 responsibility and highest calling of the Christ-follower. At Authentic Joy, we use the following diagram to depict how we can grow in intimacy with God.
So how do we pursue a relationship with God? We must make a shift from academic/cognitive practices to more relational/heart practices. Consider how you get to know a person. We have been largely brought up on a diet of practices that focus on Bible study and one-way prayer. These are not bad. They are just insufficient. They do not teach us how to communicate with God in our heart. Would you invest in a relationship with a person by studying a book about them or talking to them non-stop without bothering to hear what they had to say? Of course not. So why do we think we can build a relationship with God that way? We have to learn new, more relational, ways of reading the Bible and praying. Ways that acknowledge the real presence of a God who wants to connect with us. We have already introduced one such practice – appreciation memories. We will introduce others in time.
For now, let’s start with an intimacy checkup:
I have accepted Jesus as my personal Lord and Savior, but I cannot hear God for myself. I use my judgment, experience, and common sense most of the time. I rely on others such as my pastor/priest to give me direction for important decisions.
I cannot hear God for myself. I study the Bible and apply the principles and values that I learn to my life. I also receive insights from the sermons at church or podcasts (or counsellors when needed) that help me to discern God’s will for my life.
I struggle to get clear direction from God. I believe I can hear Him, but I don’t trust that it’s not just my own thoughts. I often have to receive a message through a scripture verse, multiple times through various different avenues, to be sure that it is from God.
I don’t hear God’s voice (audibly or in my mind/heart), but I know God is speaking to me when ‘coincidences’ (God winks) happen, such as the pastor preaching on a situation that I faced this week. Or if, for example, I see the same phrase in a book, on TV, and on a street sign in the same week.
Sometimes when listening to a sermon or reading the Bible, a phrase or word jumps out at me and burns in my heart in a way that I know in my spirit that God is speaking to me personally.
If I go to the Bible for direction in my quiet time, I often feel that He highlights a passage to me. Sometimes I feel a sense of peace or disturbance in my spirit that lets me know if I am on the right or wrong path as I go about my business during the day.
I often hear God clearly, but sometimes I’m still not sure if it’s just me. Occasionally, I have strong experiences of His presence or direction (maybe even through dreams or visions).
I can get clear insight from God on any issue, but mainly in my quiet time with Him. I can hear Him through impressions, dreams, Bible verses, thoughts in my mind, or pictures in my mind. I know the main way that He usually speaks to me, and I can sense the peace or lack of peace of the Holy Spirit in my spirit as I navigate life.
I can hear God clearly anywhere and anytime. I often experience His presence.
I experience the uninterrupted presence of God throughout the day. I am in continual 2-way conversation with God throughout the day.
Intimacy with God is the most important element of the discipleship model. There is nothing more critical to your spiritual growth than pursuing a heart-to-heart relationship with God. It fuels everything else and is the most powerful catalyst of your spiritual maturity.
Yet, sadly, how to know God is rarely taught in our faith communities. (I use the word ‘taught’ loosely, as it is less about teaching and more about modelling, supporting and mentoring.) Getting to know God is very personal and practical. You can’t get it from reading a book. God’s relationship with someone will be very unique to them, but we can model what it looks like, encourage them, support them, and provide spiritual direction with the help of the Holy Spirit.
REFLECTION
Thinking about belief in God versus relationship with God, what comes up for you?
What came up for you based on your intimacy checkup?
A foundation of the Authentic Joy discipleship model is that we focus on the head, heart, and hands to bring holistic transformation to the human being. We do this by focusing on mindsets, values, and habits (also called practices or disciplines). So today we introduce our 1st practice: Listening to God Through Appreciation Memories.
Now, we have been talking about discipleship to Jesus that looks more relational and experiential than transactional and academic. Last time we discussed being loved by God not as an intellectual belief but as a felt reality. The practice we introduce today is a pathway for us into this relational experience of God and Love.
But first, let’s talk a little bit about the brain. The brain has two hemispheres – right and left. These hemispheres are highly interconnected but perform different roles.
Left Hemisphere • Language and Speech: Dominant for most people in tasks like grammar, vocabulary, and literal meaning. • Analytical Thinking: Handles logic, reasoning, and step-by-step problem-solving. • Mathematics and Calculation: Processes numerical and symbolic information. • Sequential Processing: Prefers structured, linear approaches.
Right Hemisphere • Spatial Awareness: Important for visual-spatial tasks like map reading and recognizing faces. • Creativity and Imagination: Associated with artistic ability and holistic thinking. • Emotional Processing: Plays a role in interpreting tone, facial expressions, and emotional context. • Pattern Recognition: Good at seeing the “big picture” and integrating information.
Relational circuits are neural networks in the brain that enable us to stay connected, engaged, and emotionally regulated in relationships. They are located primarily in the right hemisphere, which is heavily involved in processing social and emotional information. These circuits help us: • Experience joy and connection • Maintain flexibility and resilience • Respond to others with empathy rather than defensiveness
When these circuits are functioning well, we can manage emotions and stay relational. When they “dim” or shut down (due to stress, trauma, or overwhelming emotion), we enter what some researchers call “enemy mode”—becoming rigid, self-protective, and disconnected from others.
The sad truth is that we have become a very unbalanced left-brained society and, as a consequence, unbalanced left-brained Christians. To deeply connect with God (and people) will require us to understand how we connect with God and others and engage in practices that help us to exercise the ‘relational muscles’ of our right brain.
This is the backdrop upon which I want to introduce Appreciation Memories. Gratitude or appreciation is a fast track to turning our right brain relational circuits on and putting us in a mode that is open to connection. The practice, in simplest terms, is like thinking about all the good things that you appreciate about somebody before initiating a conversation with them, not in an academic, ‘make a list ’ kind of way but by engaging our imagination.
Psalm 100:4 says, “Enter into His gates with thanksgiving.’
God knows that our gateway to connection with Him is gratitude!
So here is the practice: • Recall an experience that you have had (recently or in the past) where you felt a sense of being at peace, being loved, joyful, grateful, full of awe, or connected to God. It can be a time in nature or with family or with God or doing some activity you love. • Relive the event in your imagination. What did you see, smell, hear, taste, feel? What emotions did you experience? • Tell God what you are grateful for in this memory. • Now ask God: “What do you want to say to me now through this memory?” • Write down any impressions that you get. Practice this as often as you can this week.
REFLECTION • How was this practice for you? Was it easy? Difficult? • What came up for you as you engaged with God in this way?
We have been introducing the concept of discipleship to Jesus and the journey and process involved in becoming like Jesus. This week we will begin to dive in depth into each aspect of the growth process model. We start with love. As we follow Christ through the journey of Awakening, Processing and Joyful Partnership we may experience these phases of growing in the love of God:
(See the following scriptures for reference 1 John 4:16-19, Mark 12:29-31, John 17:23-24)
Today we will explore the idea of being radically, unconditionally, lavishly loved by God. Our journey to maturity must begin with experiencing God’s love. We cannot know that we are loved fiercely and unconditionally until and unless we have experienced it. This is true in the natural. Imagine yourself a child in foster care whose only experience of your biological mother’s love is a letter which she left in the bassinet when she dropped you off at the orphanage. The letter is filled with the most wonderful expressions of love for you. Would you believe it? Would you feel loved by her? In the same way, we are only fooling ourselves if we expect to know that we are loved by God without any evidence of it beyond the text.
This discord between the text and our experience is the battlefield where the enemy has executed his vile plans to keep God’s children feeling like orphans in this world. And this is one of the reasons why the Father sent His Son. Consider these two texts together:
John 3:16 (ESV)
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.
John 17:3 (ESV)
And this is eternal life, that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent.
Jesus was sent as a tangible experience of the love of God! Immanuel came so that we could experience God with us. The enemy’s modus operandi is to get us to believe that God is far and inaccessible. Through the sacrifice of Jesus and by the Holy Spirit a tangible relationship with God is now available to every single believer. Romans 5:5b (NLT) says:
For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.
How do we know God loves us? Because the Holy Spirit in us fills our heart with His love! You can feel the emotions of His affection for you in your very soul. You can also physically benefit from His provision and lovingkindness in the circumstances of your life. You can also hear His voice whisper to you words of affirmation, guidance and encouragement. In every way you can receive and experience His love.
This is not something reserved for a select few. This is our heritage and birthright as sons and daughters of God and the very first step in becoming like Christ. We cannot hope to transition to the more advanced stages of maturity without experiencing God’s love. It is His love that provides the rich nutrients for growth. We are in a very real sense, loved into our best selves. It is God’s loving words of encouragement, guidance and discipline that transform our lives as He walks with us through life daily.
REFLECTION
Is God’s love for you an intellectual belief or a felt reality?
Describe at least one moment in your life when you most felt loved by God.
Have you ever thought about practicing receiving love from God? If so, what is your practice?
Remember we said that spiritual growth is both a journey and a process. The Growth Model codifies the internal processes involved in your spiritual growth.
The person at the center of the model is you and inside of us are the aspects of our character that we must work on to achieve maturity. On the left side is where we all start – the immature version of ourselves. On the right is where we are trying to get to – the mature version of ourselves. In the center there are six characteristics of maturity that we all need to work on to move from immaturity to maturity:
Intimacy with God
Identity
Responsibility
Wholeness
Resilience
Competence
Everything starts with intimacy with God. This is the center of our model. Nothing else works without intimacy. It is first in sequence and in importance to the transformation process. Here are some definitions of the six characteristics:
Intimacy with God: Your connectedness to God in heart-to-heart relationship. How well your hear Him and enjoy His presence.
Identity: The story you tell yourself about whose you are, who you are and who your tribe is. Your value, significance and belonging.
Responsibility: How well you take accountability for your growth, the outcomes of your life and how you affect others.
Wholeness: Complete wholeness and health of your spirit, mind, emotions, body and relationships.
Resilience: How well you deal with hardship and suffering. The ability to grow through trials and see God at work in them.
Competence: Influencing your sphere for the kingdom of God. Being a good ambassador for Christ of His love and power. Using your gifts to serve humanity for Christ.
Growth also takes place in the context of a community where we feel we belong. Our community greatly influences our progress (or lack of) to maturity. We cannot become fully mature without the support of and contribution to a healthy community.
In addition, our growth (and the growth of our community) takes place in the context of the sovereign purposes of God. God’s purpose not only directs our growth but as we mature, we should witness our life experiences becoming more and more purposeful.
Finally, everything about this work of maturity really starts with love. God, outside of our initiative or ability, sovereignly and mercifully calls us, sanctifies us and glorifies us because He loves us. It is God’s love for us that initiates, sustains and completes this good work in us. His love is bigger than we can imagine. As we yield to His work in us, we become more and more full of His love, and we walk more and more in His purpose. However, we do not work on these things directly, but as we address the six aspects outlined above, we will begin to see the love and purpose of God increase in our lives.
I would also like to show you how the model hearkens back to our scriptural foundations. Ephesians 3:14-19 speaks to intimacy with God, identity and wholeness. Ephesians 4:11-16 speaks to identity, responsibility, competence and community. 2 Timothy 3:16-17 speaks to competence and wholeness. And James 1:2-4 speaks to resilience.
When we have fully developed in love, intimacy with God, identity, responsibility, wholeness, resilience, competence, purpose and community, then we would have attained the fullness of the stature of Christ.
REFLECTION
Can you identify times in your life when God was working on these aspects of your character?
What do you believe the Holy Spirit is working on in you in this season?
Copyright 2026, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.
Spiritual growth is both a journey and a process. The maturation process takes place in a context, and that context is the unique events and circumstances of your life’s journey. Spiritual growth is not something that happens apart from life. Life is the classroom that God uses to bring us to maturity.
The Authentic Joy Journey Guide is adapted from Joseph Campbell’s Hero’s Journey, a classical storytelling template.
Home (The Comfort Zone)
This is where we all start our journey. You will know if you are at this stage if you feel comfortable and at ease with your life. There is a certain amount of passivity at this stage. Picture Bilbo Baggins in Tolkien’s classic, The Hobbit, at his home in The Shire enjoying the secure predictability of morning walks and evening tea. A biblical example of someone at this stage would be Job before Satan attacked him. He was in a good place in life, faithfully serving God and abundantly blessed. Or what about Mary before the angel announced she would bear a child? Can you imagine her? A young bride, excited about her upcoming marriage, living a normal life unaware of what was around the corner. Sometimes we can be full of hubris at this stage, thinking we know it all and that we are untouchable. The Pharisees typified this ‘pride comes before a fall’ type of attitude.
The Call
At this stage something happens to cause us to consider leaving our comfort zone. God’s summons to grow up can happen in many ways:
• A divine encounter: God interrupts our scheduled programming with a vision, prophetic word or a visitation. This is what happened to Mary, Gideon, Jeremiah and Paul. They all encountered God in some way that was undeniable and compelling
• Tragedy: Sometimes it takes a tragedy to dislodge us from our comfort zone. It could be a serious illness, a divorce, the loss of a loved one, or the loss of a job. Whatever it is, it becomes an opportunity for us to rethink how we have been living up to that point. Job and Joseph provide biblical examples of tragedy as a call to growth
• Wake-up call: Sometimes we are also comfortable in our sin and God mercifully provides a moment of clarity for us to escape. The parable of the prodigal son illustrates this as does the woman caught in adultery who got the opportunity to ‘go and sin no more’.
This stage can elicit in us fear and doubt or excitement and hope as we react to the thought of the unknown. We do not know what lies ahead. Answering the call will require us to do life differently and we have no guarantees that it will all work out. Sometimes, we can opt to stay with the familiar instead of facing the unknown which introduces the next stage.
The Refusal
This stage, more than any other, is optional. Some of us may be gung-ho, rearing and ready to go. Others of us may need a little more… coaxing. Think of Moses and Jonah. Moses gave God excuse after excuse trying to convince God that He had picked the wrong man. But Jonah… Jonah is the poster child for this stage. It took a ride in the belly of a whale to get Jonah to heed God’s call. If we are in this stage we may be feeling fear, doubt, insecurity, indifference or pride. Remember the Pharisees again? They missed the day of their visitation.
The Departure
When we decide to heed the call, it’s adventure time! Sometimes the fear and doubt still linger on in this stage but hopefully, it’s more and more mingled with excitement and curiosity. The overarching attitude that allows us to enter fully into this stage is faith and trust in God as we surrender to His will. This is what Mary did when she said, ‘let it be to me according to your word’. This is what Joshua did when he crossed the Jordan to lead the Israelites into battle. This is what all the heroes of faith did as they heeded the call of God on their lives. Our departure may not look as ‘glamorous’, but it is no less significant in God’s eyes when we choose to trust Him. Our departures may be as big as starting a business, ministry or family, or as small as being open to a new relationship, seeing a psychologist or joining a faith community.
The Crucible
Surprise surprise, there are trials and tests along our journey. (I bet you didn’t see that coming!) Life is dangerous outside of The Shire. This is usually one of the longer stages or at least it seems that way. It is characterized by pain. Along with pain we may feel anger, confusion, fear, despair and hopelessness. David and Joseph are our models when it comes to The Crucible. As the name implies, it is in this stage that we are refined in the fiery furnace. The list of trials that each of us may face is endless; rejection by loved ones, poverty, domestic abuse, church leader abuse, illness of a child, cancer… I’m sure you can draw from your own experience. I can give you only this assurance: no adversity lasts forever if you pay attention to the lesson. The Crucible is the means God uses to get to the deep issues at the foundation of your character – your motives and desires. The furnace of fiery trials brings the real you to the surface and offers you the opportunity for real transformation. This opportunity for change introduces The Epic Battle.
The Epic Battle
Do you know that one scene in the movie where the hero and the villain finally face off? This is that scene, except the battle is not with the villain but with yourself to become who God intended for you to become. Your ‘inner villain’ is exposed in The Crucible and now you have a choice – will you let him live or put him to death? External trials prompt an internal struggle. We see this in the moments when David has the opportunity to kill Saul and chooses not to. Also, when Joseph faces his brothers who sold him into slavery and after much back and forth (you can see that he is battling with himself), he finally tells them what they meant for evil, God used for good. But perhaps the character who most epitomizes this inner battle is Jacob’s all-night struggle with the Lord where Jacob (the deceiver) comes away with a new name – Israel (one who struggles with God). The whole journey hinges on this stage. This is when the Potter tests the quality of the vessel. Is it fit for use? This stage can be a lonely and desperate time when nobody seems to understand what you are going through and few are there for you in your time of travail. Think of Christ in the Garden of Gethsemane sweating drops of blood while the disciples slept.
The Reward
If we are victorious in battle, then we reap the reward! In the movies, the protagonist gets a treasure of some sort. Or maybe he gets the girl. But in our story, the hero reaps a spiritual reward. Maybe it’s spiritual authority over a city. Maybe it’s love and joy in your home. Maybe you become a recognized leader in some sphere of culture. The reward is unique to your call but whatever it is, it is good! Abraham had a son, inherited a land and became the father of faith. David was made king. Joseph became Pharoah’s right-hand man, ruling over Egypt. Daniel had a similar story of ruling over Babylon. This stage is a time of celebration, joy, peace and gratitude.
The Return Home
No reward is for yourself (at least not in the kingdom). Now you must return home to share the reward with the community. Joseph saved his family from starvation and poverty. Job prayed for his friends. David ensured that Solomon became the most wise and successful king that ever lived. The journey to maturity is not complete until we turn around and help others along their journey. This book is one example of that. It is my attempt to share all that I have learnt on my journey with as many people as possible. If we do that, we will discover a new place of fulfilment, purpose, community, belonging and well-being. At first, our circumstances may not look different on the outside, but we will be different, and our experience of the circumstances will be different, and eventually what’s on the inside of us will change what’s around us.
It is easier to think of the journey as three distinct phases:
Awakening
o Home
o The Call
o The Refusal
o The Departure
Processing
o The Crucible
o The Epic Battle
Joyful Partnership
o The Reward
o The Return Home
This is just a map, not a formula. Everyone’s journey will look different. You may go forward and then backwards. You may also be at one stage in one area of your life and at another stage in another area of your life. The journey can also be interpreted as a cycle, with The Return Home eventually becoming your Comfort Zone until God elicits another Call for you to grow and you go around the loop again.
REFLECTION
Which phase of the journey do you feel that you are in right now?
What comes up for you as you process this with God?
Copyright 2026, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.
This week we will begin to go deeper into four scriptures that give us insight into the process of becoming mature in Christ.
Ephesians 3:14-19 (NLT):
When I think of all this, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father, the Creator of everything in heaven and on earth. I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.
2 Timothy 3:16-17 (ESV)
16 All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, 17 that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work.
Ephesians 4:11-16 (NLT)
11 Now these are the gifts Christ gave to the church: the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, and the pastors and teachers. 12 Their responsibility is to equip God’s people to do his work and build up the church, the body of Christ. 13 This will continue until we all come to such unity in our faith and knowledge of God’s Son that we will be mature in the Lord, measuring up to the full and complete standard of Christ.
14 Then we will no longer be immature like children. We won’t be tossed and blown about by every wind of new teaching. We will not be influenced when people try to trick us with lies so clever they sound like the truth. 15 Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church. 16 He makes the whole body fit together perfectly. As each part does its own special work, it helps the other parts grow, so that the whole body is healthy and growing and full of love.
James 1:2-4 (ESV)
2 Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, 3 for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. 4 And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
Meditate on these passages and reflect on the questions below.
REFLECTION
What is Holy Spirit saying to you through these passages?
What elements of these passages resonate with your experience of spiritual growth?
Where do you see room for growth in the way described in these passages?
Copyright 2026, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.
I am pleased to share a new development at Authentic Joy. But first, a back story:
Eight months ago, we started something new – online discipleship small groups. We have two groups that meet every other week, and the experience has been nothing short of transformational. I am not exaggerating when I say that these meetings are the most life-giving get-togethers in my life. I look forward to every session and leave our time together feeling refreshed, encouraged, and revitalized in my walk with God. And I’m not alone. Many have said that these groups are a tremendous source of life, learning and community that they cannot find anywhere else.
The format we follow is simple: I send out a short reading with a few questions for reflection a week ahead of our meeting. So, when we meet, there is no teaching, just conversation. We share deeply about how the material intersects with our lives and the down-to-earth (sometimes messy) ways in which we are being transformed and challenged to become like Jesus. There are no experts. We all share from the heart. We all listen deeply. We all hold each other before God and encourage each other to pursue Him.
So, we at Authentic Joy thought, “Why not take these reflections and share them with our online community as a bi-weekly devotional?” So, from today, that is just what we will be doing! We hope that it will be of great value to you on your discipleship journey! Here is installment #1:
1. DiscipleshipIntroduction
What is the formula for spiritual growth?
Many of us may have grown up in faith traditions where the formula or model for spiritual growth was something like this:
TRUTH + CHOICE = TRANSFORMATION
This model emphasizes learning truth and then choosing behaviour that aligns with what we have learned.
Question: Is it working?
I propose that our traditional model for transformation is not working. There are two reasons why this model cannot work:
It emphasizes external behaviour modification rather than internal transformation.
It emphasizes truth rather than love as the most important factor in our spiritual growth.
If we look at the anatomy of the human soul, we can see why this is a problem.
If we focus solely on truth (which is important for transforming our thoughts and beliefs) and external behaviour (which addresses our words and actions), without addressing the emotions, values and desires of the heart, then we have omitted a critical part of the human being!
Jesus’ model is quite different. Have a look at what He says in these 3 scriptures:
Matthew 5:27-28 (NLT)
Matthew 23:25-26 (NLT)
John 13:34-35 (NLT)
Jesus’ model focuses on the heart and only one thing transforms the heart – love. You can’t teach love. Jesus came to earth give us an experience of love that is transformative. Something the law was powerless to do.
Jesus’ model is called discipleship. John Mark Comer states it this way: “Be with Jesus. Become like Him. Do what He does.” The disciples didn’t just follow Jesus’ teachings; they literally followed Jesus wherever He went. Jesus’ invitation to “follow me” was never anything less than an invitation to do life with Him from that point forward.
Interestingly, it seemed that Jesus also thought that a group of disciples worked better than walking with Him alone. Companionship was also an integral part of Jesus’ model.
REFLECTION
What does the distinction between learning truth about Jesus versus experiencing love through being with Jesus bring up for you? Process with Holy Spirit.
What does the distinction between managing our behaviour to be in line with Biblical principles through force of will versus words and actions that naturally flow from having the same thoughts, beliefs, emotions, values and desires as Jesus bring up for you? Process with Holy Spirit.
Copyright 2026, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.
If you have been following my blog for any length of time, you would know that I am passionate about the pursuit of a tangible experience of God. I believe it is what the Bible evidences and advocates. It is my reality. Apostle John says it well:
1 John 1:1-4 (NLT
We proclaim to you the one who existed from the beginning, whom we have heard and seen. We saw him with our own eyes and touched him with our own hands. He is the Word of life. This one who is life itself was revealed to us, and we have seen him. And now we testify and proclaim to you that he is the one who is eternal life. He was with the Father, and then he was revealed to us. We proclaim to you what we ourselves have actually seen and heard so that you may have fellowship with us. And our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son, Jesus Christ. We are writing these things so that you may fully share our joy.
John speaking after Jesus’ ascension said, “…our fellowship IS with the Father and his Son, Jesus Christ.”
This blog is simply meant to stir up my heart for more of God and hopefully to stir up yours too. I want to share with you 3 of my favourite encounters recorded by ordinary people. The first from Blaise Pascal:
The year of grace 1654,
Monday, 23 November, feast of St. Clement, pope and martyr, and others in the martyrology. Vigil of St. Chrysogonus, martyr, and others. From about half past ten at night until about half past midnight,
FIRE.
GOD of Abraham, GOD of Isaac, GOD of Jacob not of the philosophers and of the learned. Certitude. Certitude. Feeling. Joy. Peace. GOD of Jesus Christ. My God and your God. Your GOD will be my God. Forgetfulness of the world and of everything, except GOD. He is only found by the ways taught in the Gospel. Grandeur of the human soul. Righteous Father, the world has not known you, but I have known you. Joy, joy, joy, tears of joy. I have departed from him: They have forsaken me, the fount of living water. My God, will you leave me? Let me not be separated from him forever. This is eternal life, that they know you, the one true God, and the one that you sent, Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. I left him; I fled him, renounced, crucified. Let me never be separated from him. He is only kept securely by the ways taught in the Gospel: Renunciation, total and sweet. Complete submission to Jesus Christ and to my director. Eternally in joy for a day’s exercise on the earth. May I not forget your words. Amen.
He kept this account of His encounter with the FIRE of God sewn inside his jacket. A constant reminder of the reality that he touched.
The second quote is from Frank Laubach as recorded in Letters By A Modern Mystic:
May 24, 1930
This has been a week of wonders. God is at work everywhere preparing the way for his work in Lanao. I shall tell you some of the wonders presently. But just at this moment you must hear more of this sacred evening. The day had been rich but strenuous, so I climbed “Signal Hill” back of my house talking and listening to God all the way up, all the way back, all the lovely half hour on the top. And God talked back! I let my tongue go loose and from it flowed poetry far more beautiful than any I ever composed. It flowed without pausing and without ever a failing syllable for a half hour. I listened astonished and full of joy and gratitude. I wanted a dictaphone for I knew that I should not be able to remember it – and now I cannot. “Why,” someone may ask, “did God waste his poetry on you alone, when you should not carry it home.” You will have to ask God that question. I only know He did and I am happy in the memory.
Below me lay the rice fields and as I looked across them I heard my tongue saying aloud, “Child, just as the rice needs the sunshine every day, and could not grow if it had sun only once a week or one hour a day, so you need me all day of every day. People over all the world are withering because they are open toward God only rarely. Every waking minute is not too much.”
My final encounter is recorded in 1922 by Sadhu Sundar Singh in his book At The Master’s Feet:
When I rose from my prayer I beheld a glowing Being, arrayed in light and beauty, standing before me. Though He spoke not a word, and because my eyes were suffused with tears I saw Him not too clearly, there poured from Him lightening -like rays of life-giving love with such power that they entered in and bathed my very soul. At once I knew that my dear Saviour stood before me. I rose at once from the rock where I was seated and fell at His feet. He held in His hand the key of my heart. Opening the inner chamber of my heart with His key of love, He filled it with His presence, and wherever I looked, inside or out, I saw but Him.
I hope these God-encounters have blessed you. Each of these men has made an indelible mark on history as they walked with God and served humanity. They have served as a constant reminder to me that the God of the Bible still walks among us today. Jesus is not some historical figure existing only on pages of scripture to be studied from afar. Jesus speaks, touches, invades, overcomes, arrests… He is REAL and PRESENT.
Copyright 2026, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.
