Category: Personal Development

Posted on

Book Launch!

My new book is out!

This novel sprung forth from the dark earth of my failure and despair. I gave my life to Christ at age twenty but only found a truly joy-filled life in Christ twenty years later. The difficulties that I faced in those two decades in between – the tireless grappling with my hedonistic tendencies, the vanity of religion, my failures in one marriage after another, the sin that beset me, the deep desire for fulfilment that remained unmet, the people that God used to shape my character and reveal my mission – all provided the resource material that inspired Authentic Joy.

However, that is not the subject of this book. The subject is God. It is a fictional tale that reveals the non-fictional character of an incomprehensibly wise, astoundingly merciful and absolutely sovereign God who transforms darkness and rancour into light and joy!

In my deepest destitution and despair, I found the joy that I was looking for in the presence of God Himself, or I should say, He brought me to the end of myself so that I could experience Him as He really is; my greatest treasure and highest joy! I wrote this novel simply to share with you the obstacles that kept me from this deeply satisfying intimacy with Christ and the nature of the Life that I found on the other side of those obstacles. My hope is that you too will see Him more clearly, treasure Him more deeply and experience authentic joy in Christ more fully than ever before!

Get your paperback copy now:

https://xulonpress.com/bookstore/bookdetail.php?PB_ISBN=9781545638477&HC_ISBN=

https://www.amazon.com/Authentic-Joy-Matik-Nicholls/dp/1545638470/

Kindle version coming next month!

Copyright 2018, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.

Posted on

When Children Are Our Idols

 

I think that we can love our children too much. Well, actually that’s not true; we can never love too much but we can have a counterfeit love for our children that is more akin to worship. Our whole life is for them. We say things like, “Mommy will do anything for you baby.” Will we really? I hope not. “You are my sun, my heart, the centre of my world.” I really wonder if we understand the ramifications of statements like that? It sounds great; like something a dedicated, loving parent would say but is it really?

According to a Time article by Jennifer Moses, “The problem with all this, aside from how silly it is, is that children who are the center of their parents’ lives become brats. Children whose parents put their kids’ entertainment, social lives, futures, and schedules ahead of their own well-being soon learn that there is only one important person in the room, and that person is the person whose short life has already been captured on endless video clips. This is not good. This is not good at all. Not for the kid. Not for the grownup. Not for the family dog.”

Children who are worshipped, grow up believing they are gods and believe that everyone will bend to their will as their parents have for their entire short lives. These ‘helicopter parents’ swoop in to clean up every mess and comfort every discomfort, robbing their charges of the necessary coping skills and character development that can only come from unmet expectations, disappointments, failures and the sometimes unfair hard-knocks of life. These poor children often suffer from depression and maladjustment as they encounter the real world outside their little personal kingdom.

Many of these parents may actually have co-dependent relationships with their kids; dependent on them for affirmation and love. According to Psychology Today, here are 5 signs that you are in a co-dependent relationship (To look at this from a parental point of view I substituted ‘partner’ with ‘child’):

  1. Does your sense of purpose involve making extreme sacrifices to satisfy your child’s needs?
  2. Is it difficult to say no when your child makes demands on your time and energy?
  3. Do you cover your child’s problems with drugs, alcohol, or the law?
  4. Do you constantly worry about their opinion of you?
  5. Do you keep quiet to avoid arguments?

I find this list a bit scary because it is so close to our accepted paradigm of good parenting today. The thing about co-dependency is that (i) it prevents you from taking actions in the best interest of the child, and (ii) it is often a behaviour that the child repeats in his/her relationships. It is a very unhealthy behaviour that is not easily changed.

However, there is hope. The first step is awareness. Here are some habits that will keep us from co-dependent tendencies:

  1. Set clear boundaries on our time. For example, Sunday is my rest/fun day. I will not be taking you to any regular activity on a Sunday.
  2. Set clear boundaries on what we will and will not do for our children. I will not do your school project for you. I may guide and assist but you are responsible for it, not me. I will not write an excuse for you for not completing your homework unless there was a serious emergency that prevented you from completing your assignment.
  3. Intentionally give them more and more responsibility and autonomy as they get older. For example, as my daughter graduates to secondary school she will be ironing her own school uniform from now on. She is also allowed to be on social media now.
  4. Intentionally nurture interests and hobbies other than our children. For example, no matter how much my children may believe that I am not entitled to go out or play football or take trips (or do anything really) without them, I go anyway.

Our children deserve every opportunity to grow and mature into strong, balanced and healthy adults. Let’s not fail them by loving them to pieces but instead let’s love them to wholeness.

Joyfully.

Copyright 2018, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.

Posted on

I Have No Empathy

 

I have always had a love-hate relationship with empathy. Empathy is commonly defined as the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. I love the idea of seeing things from someone else’s perspective. Fyodor Dostoyevsky said, “Nothing is easier than to denounce the evildoer; nothing is more difficult than to understand him.” I agree! In fact, you could say that I’m obsessed with ‘the other point of view’.

I am frequently the advocate for understanding the ‘enemy’. As a manager, I often put myself in the shoes of non-management. As a heterosexual male who does not believe in gender fluidity, I can still understand the LGBT fight for acceptance. As an advocate for the life of the foetus, I also understand the pro-choice viewpoint. You can see why I am frequently in no man’s land; fully accepted in neither camp, which suits me fine because I rather think that’s a major quality of Jesus. He did not sign up with the religious elite or the evildoers. He hung out with sinners and went to the synagogue. He was on everyone’s side and no-one’s side.

But I digress… You see I am fine up to the understanding someone else’s emotions part; it’s the sharing those emotions part that eludes me. To illustrate my point, there’s a video on empathy by Brene Brown (which you can watch here). In the video Brene identifies 4 qualities of empathy:

  1. Taking another’s perspective.
  2. Staying out of judgment.
  3. Recognizing and understanding someone else’s emotions.
  4. Communicating your understanding of that emotion.

I think I’m good until that dastardly #4. I’m like the deer in the video who responds to someone saying, “My marriage is falling apart”, with, “At least you have a marriage.” I’m the silver lining, pull yourself up by your bootstraps, get off your keister, ok enough with this pity party kinda guy.

So, I’ve been going around for most of my life thinking that I have this major character flaw – a severe lack of empathy until…. I came across Paul Bloom; a psychologist who argues that empathy is not a helpful trait. Paul says that when we act based on our emotions we are not contributing positively to the other person or society in general. According to Paul, making decisions based on emotion clouds our judgment. For example, if we were choosing which charities to give some money to and if we gave to the one that pulled most on our heart-strings (like the baby dying from malnutrition) then our philanthropy would not necessarily be aimed where it could make the biggest difference for the most number of people which is a much better decision-making criteria. In summary, to quote Bloom, “…empathy is prone to biases that render moral judgment potentially harmful.”

So, I was feeling a lot better about myself until I did a little more digging (i.e. web-research) and found that there were many other experts that disagreed with Bloom. There were many good arguments but, in the end, I distilled a way of reasoning that made the most sense to me. I went back to the dictionary (and Brown’s) definition. Neither definition actually speaks to taking action. As Brene says, empathy is not about responding, it is about connecting.

Of course, this takes me back to square one…almost. I believe that empathy should be a first step. Our first step should always be just to understand; to connect. However, I also believe that there is a place for a rational response; a step two. Maybe a night out with the boys or a counselling appointment or just a pep talk to prod from pity party to problem solving. Experts say that positive action rightfully comes from cognitive empathy (understanding another viewpoint) whereas emotional empathy (sharing feelings) is useful to build relationships is not useful for decision-making.

I think my shortfall, however, is that I leap over step one straight to problem-solving. What about you? If you were in a deep funk, what would be the words that you’d want to hear from your best friend?

Joyfully,

Copyright 2018, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.

Posted on

Sermons and Dresses

Admittedly, I had but a passing interest in The Royal Wedding.  Until I heard a bit of the sermon of Bishop Michael Curry! I promptly searched for the sermon online and I couldn’t stop listening. The power of love captivated my attention! I was so excited about this message of love echoing around the world and touching lives suffering from severe love-deficit that when some colleagues started talking about the wedding I exclaimed, “Wasn’t that a powerful sermon!”.

I was shocked at the responses. Apparently, it was inappropriate, too long and disjointed. I am not usually one to be surprised by differing views but this one caught me off guard. So, what was the main highlight for these (mainly female) colleagues of mine; the dress. It was what they had stayed up late to see. They loved it!

Now, I don’t want to draw any inferences about my colleagues in particular because I am sure they are not alone. In fact, there are probably more than a few church goers for whom the much too short dress of Sister So-and-so seems more important than the message of Jesus Christ. (Just though I’d throw that out there to shake things up a bit. Ha ha!) I do, however, want us to think about our society as a whole and what we value. Do we value messages of love, kindness, compassion and selflessness? We talk about it but do our actions align?

Last night I fell asleep while reading in bed and my daughter came and took off my glasses, put my phone to charge and turned off the light. She had never done anything like that before. I was so proud of her and full of love for her and grateful for such beautiful children, all at the same time. I did make sure to thank her and express my appreciation for her thoughtfulness, but I couldn’t help but compare that with if she had come first in end-of-term exams, for example. For coming first in her class, she would be showered with rewards and recognition. Something is wrong somewhere.

What about at work? Has anyone ever received a positive appraisal because they were kind to their co-workers? But if we achieve all our targets at the expense of other people, are we rewarded? Many times, we are. Sometimes even publicly applauded.

Our values are skewed. And it’s no better in the church. If I were to judge from what most guys talk about and get excited about, the biggest religion in Trinidad is football. Most guys quicker identify as a Man-U fan than a Jesus fan. Keep it nice and superficial. Big man doh deal up with d touchy feely business.

So, I ask you what kind of world do you want to leave for generations to come? Do you want more love in this world? Is it time to re-look our value system? If you haven’t seen Bishop Curry’s sermon, you can watch it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5gonlKodrmk and tell me what you think; which was better; the sermon or the dress?

Joyfully,

Copyright 2018, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.

Posted on

Ole Talk

Stephen Covey said, “You can’t talk yourself out of something you behaved yourself into.” It is one of those leadership principles that is so deceptively simple that the full power of it can easily be overlooked. So many times, as leaders (at home and at work) we fail to grasp how what we are saying is being undermined by what we are doing. So deep is our self-deception sometimes that we are genuinely surprised when our followers are not motivated or engaged or buying into whatever we are trying to sell.

It’s like if I tell my children, “I will give you licks (a spanking) if you do that one more time.” It barely has any effect because they have not seen the behaviour to back up my ‘ole talk’. My lack of disciplinary enforcement is the behaviour that needs to change before my words have any weight.

The same happens at the office… Two common examples of messages that are hardly ever ‘heard’ unless the behaviour to back it up is first evidenced are:

  • We care about staff
  • We are implementing a new…..

So many leaders are living in a dream world where caring means nicely worded all-staff communiques and slogans and presentations. The one truth about caring is that it must be felt and felt personally. Caring can only be communicated by action in the context of one on one interaction. The caring organization only exists insofar as the people at the top are truly caring for person X and person Y and person Z. Even if you implement a policy that is beneficial to all employees it will not move the dial much unless the staff experience it in how it is applied to them personally by their bosses.

An example of caring that I remember well is when many years ago I was feeling very ill and throwing up at work and my boss told his secretary to drive me home in his car. See what I mean!  Personal, sincere behaviour. You can’t talk your way out of uncaring behaviour.

The other bug bear is the rolling out of a new anything if the management has a history of no sustainable follow through. No matter how fancy the launch or how sincere you sound this time, everybody knows it won’t last. The initiative is practically doomed to fail from the start because nobody is really going to bother much with it, confident in the knowledge that it won’t be around for long.

We should always count the cost of change. If it is a real change, it will cost something, and we have to be willing to back up our talk with the tough decisions. Our people know who we really are. If we are risk averse, they know the new entrepreneurial business idea will grind to a halt the first time that we have to stick our necks out and take some risk. If we are cheap, they know that upgrading to a 21st century IT system is not going to happen. We can’t talk louder than who we are.

Therefore, leadership is at the most fundamental level about self-development and personal transformation. Who we are being at home and at work dictates the efficacy of our leadership. If we want change in our families, places of worship and workplaces it literally begins with the change we are willing to make in ourselves.

Joyfully,

Copyright 2018, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.

Posted on

Performance Pressure

Next month my 12-year-old daughter writes the big SEA exam for entrance into secondary school. My 16-year-old son will also write his O’Level exams around the same time. Meanwhile, at work we have been having conversations about setting more challenging goals and cultivating a high-performance culture. These days, it is more evident to me than ever before how deeply this performance culture permeates our society.

There are side-effects to this culture that reminds me of those ads for some new wonder drug that promises to change your life, but possible side effects include drowsiness, depression, nausea, dizziness and erectile dysfunction. You begin to wonder if the drug is worth it right?

Some of the side effects of a performance culture that I have observed are:

  1. Unhealthy comparison/competition
  2. Confusing ability to perform with self-worth
  3. Fear of failure

Unhealthy comparison/competition

I have children with different natural abilities and talents. One may be great at math while another may have great physical agility. One may have a superior command of the English language, while another may be good at arts and craft. I see my role as a father as facilitating the emergence of the best in each of them based on their individual potential (not their performance compared to others).

Unavoidably, that means unequal treatment. To illustrate: If I have one child who is a natural math genius and they get 95% in an exam and another who struggles with math and they get 65% in an exam, I would reward them equally. What the performance culture does is sets up a way of thinking that encourages comparison against others rather than against your own potential. So, the child who gets 95% may feel unfairly treated because he/she did much better than the other one. But that’s ok. Far worse is the child that is always held to the standards of his/her sibling. It can leave awful scars.

In business, the negative behaviours that this type of thinking often breed is unhealthy competition between peers or departments. Unhealthy meaning that individual or departmental success is prioritized above the company’s overall success. Once I meet my targets that’s all that matters!

Confusing ability to perform with self-worth

This is one that I’m particularly watchful for any signs of in my children. Too often failing to pass an exam or win a match is interpreted as a reflection on personal self-worth. It needs to be said that the top students and top athletes are not necessarily better people! So often we write-off people because they don’t have the credentials or track-record that we think is important. There are so many valuable attributes that are not generally measured!

Failing an exam does not make you a failure. Not meeting your goals does not make you a failure. The human being is more than the narrow band that society focuses on. The same culture is also in the church by the way, the indicators are just different. The church measurables are: How long do you pray? How many times do you attend church? How well do you know the bible? How long have you been married? How long have you been serving the Lord? Are your children serving the Lord? Thankfully, God does not measure us that way. We are all The Father’s children and we were all worthy enough that Jesus died for us, every one!

Fear of failure

In a paradoxical way, this high-performance culture ensures mediocrity. If you know that your boss is going to measure you by what you say you are going to achieve, then you are not going to set any outrageous goals. But don’t we want people to go after the unattainable, the outrageous? Sure we do, but we are never going to get that unless it is ok to fail.

The other way we insure against failure is by taking as few risks as possible. We are constantly taking the safest road possible because we know that we will be severally penalized for failure. The culture keeps our focus on the wrong thing; on what could go wrong, instead of what could go right!

This happens at home too. Do we parents support our children when they come with some outrageous pie-in-the-sky dream? Sometimes we stifle our children by making them play it safe. Go to school and become a doctor or a lawyer. Drop out and start a business making earrings? Don’t be crazy! However, some of our most celebrated business leaders today started out as college drop-outs with crazy ideas.

In summary, here’s my philosophy of life in answer to this prevailing culture:

  1. The only person I’m in competition with is myself. I challenge myself to grow continuously and become all that God wants me to become. I don’t want to leave unfulfilled potential on the table.
  2. I don’t have to succeed at the expense of your failure. We can all succeed together. I believe in win-win. I believe we can all be exceptional!
  3. I believe every single person is highly valuable not because of anything they have done or not done but because they were created by God. Every person has something valuable that they can add to my life and if I don’t see it, it just means I’m not looking hard enough.
  4. Failure is an opportunity to learn! I am not defined by my failures. I am not afraid of failure. I am afraid of not living life to the fullest!

Joyfully,

Copyright 2018, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.

Posted on

Parenting Is Hard

Parenting is hard enough but single co-parenting (a term I just invented to mean when you are not in a relationship with the other parent) is ten times as hard. As I came down from the euphoria of vacation and the cold water of reality splashed my face, this was one of the harsh realities of my life that met me at the door.

“Daddy, you don’t spend any time with us,” was the latest issue. It was not something that I hadn’t heard before, but the complaint seemed to be getting louder. It’s an issue that I find particularly frustrating because their point of view and mine are so far apart. They take for granted the fact that I changed by working hours and hardly ever work late just so that I can drop them to school in the morning and see them in the evening. They don’t know how much of a social life I forego just to be present in their lives. They have no clue and they probably never will until they have children of their own.

What exacerbates the issue is that their reference point is their mother who is a stay at home mom. She has the advantage of being at their beck and call 24-7 if she chooses. In a ‘normal’ family where the mother is at home, I guess she would help the children to understand that daddy has to work etc. I unfortunately, have to deal with the opposite dynamic.

Thus, when I sat down to have a heart to heart with my kids I tried to discern not only what they were saying but how they really felt. It was clear that they did not feel unloved or neglected but they did want more meaningful time with me doing things that they like. I realized that with my daughter’s preparation for the big SEA exams and their extra-curricular schedule, most of our time was spent being busy. Busy getting ready for school, busy getting ready for bed, busy getting ready for lessons, busy getting to football training, busy, busy, busy…

So, despite how skewed their viewpoint might be, there was inside there some truth that I could not ignore. I weighed my options.  What more I could do to be a better dad? I weighed the wants versus the needs. Children always want. A significant challenge is always to give them what they need not necessarily what they want. What could I do that would answer the need in their lives? What was I willing to give up? That question brought me right up against another significant challenge; finding the balance between sacrificing for your children without sacrificing your health.

In the end, I gave up one football sweat a month and my Saturday morning run would be reduced to every other week. In exchange I would have some more unhurried time with my children. I’m not expecting huge outpourings of gratitude and that doesn’t matter to me. My fulfilment is in their success as Godly, loving, happy, contributing human beings. In their eyes, compared to their mother, I might still be the second-rate parent, but I believe their hearts know better. I can feel it in their hugs.

Parenting is hard but anything worthwhile is hard.

Joyfully,

Copyright 2018, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.

Posted on

Find Your Peeps

The second week of my vacation/retreat started when I picked up my girlfriend, Tricia, in the airport and we drove from Sacramento to Redding. There is just something about road trips! We talked, sang, prayed and laughed all the way. We passed the town of Yolo and of course we had to shout “YOLO!” every time we saw a sign. Then we passed huge stacks of hay and of course we had to go, “Haaaay!” (obviously). This is what happens when you put two corny people in one vehicle for an extended period.

We also kept passing these fields of beautiful flowering trees and eventually curiosity got the better of us and we had to stop to find out what they were and take a picture. Turns out they were cherry trees and they were also highly secured with electric fences and surveillance cameras. (Don’t ask how we got the photo above).

The main purpose of our trip was to attend a conference at Bethel Church in Redding. However, we had a couple free days, so we decided to drive to the Trinity Shasta National Forest and Lake. More road trips! And beautiful scenery. It was a unique experience to see the landscape change to snow as we ascended the mountains.

Then there was the conference. It was epic! It was one of those times when you feel the weight of purpose over your life. We knew this was not a chance event; we were supposed to be there! Again, I was overcome with gratitude as I realized what a privilege it was to have a bff who is as excited as I am about Jesus. I don’t mean just to find someone who is a Christian. I mean a person who will get excited about spending her vacation at a church conference. A person who is intentional about investing in her spiritual growth. Not all Christians are like that, but Tricia certainly is and I’m thankful that she is in my life.

But before this turns into a really soppy post (puke), that’s not all that I was grateful for… There were hundreds of people from over forty-five countries at the conference who were just like us! It reminded me how important it is to find your peeps. Whatever your thing is, it’s important to find the people who are as crazy about it as you are. Whether it is Star Trek, running or rock collecting, find your peeps. Nothing will motivate you to go further and to hone your craft like gathering and sharing what you are passionate about with other like-minded individuals.

Well that brings my California trip to an end, but I expect this time of renewal and retooling will be bearing fruit for many months to come. I enjoyed sharing it with you and I hope it inspires you in some way to invest in yourself.

Joyfully,

Copyright 2018, Matik Nicholls.

Posted on

Always Play To Your Strengths!

Greetings from beautiful Lake Tahoe. The snow-covered trees look like a fairy tale. Well, my first day skiing was a disaster. I SUCK at skiing. I spent the whole day falling on the beginner run. By the end of the day I knew that if I wanted to enjoy the rest of my days on the slopes I had to switch back to what I was reasonably good at – snowboarding. I went to the rental store and traded in my skiis for a board.

Day 2 was epic! After a couple runs on the beginner slope to refresh my memory, I was off to the intermediate runs. It was a good reminder that you don’t have to be good at everything. You will be more successful and have more fun in life if you play to your strengths.

Sometimes this is counter-cultural. We are trained to focus on our weaknesses. The focus of every appraisal and all professional development seems to be on what we need to improve. But that is not the only way and maybe not even the best way to approach your job or even your life. There is another school of though that says that your strengths (or gifts) are the most valuable assets that you bring to your work and your life and it is usually what gives you the greatest fulfilment. So in every situation look to see how you can best utilize your strengths and where you see a hole that you can’t fill, team up with someone with a strength in that area.

There is an online assessment tool that helps you to find your top strengths; www.gallupstrengthscenter.com. The results are not always what you expect. For instance, my top strength is Connectedness…. I never thought of connectedness as a strength. Then I read the description:

Things happen for a reason. You are sure of it. You are sure of it because in your soul you know that we are all connected. Yes, we are individuals, responsible for our own judgments and in possession of our own free will, but nonetheless we are part of something larger. Some may call it the collective unconscious. Others may label it spirit or life force. But whatever your word of choice, you gain confidence from knowing that we are not isolated from one another or from the earth and the life on it. This feeling of Connectedness implies certain responsibilities. If we are all part of a larger picture, then we must not harm others because we will be harming ourselves. We must not exploit because we will be exploiting ourselves. Your awareness of these responsibilities creates your value system. You are considerate, caring, and accepting. Certain of the unity of humankind, you are a bridge builder for people of different cultures. Sensitive to the invisible hand, you can give others comfort that there is a purpose beyond our humdrum lives. The exact articles of your faith will depend on your upbringing and your culture, but your faith is strong. It sustains you and your close friends in the face of life’s mysteries.

Life becomes a lot more joyful when we know our strengths and play to them! See you soon, I’m heading back up the mountain!

Joyfully,

Copyright 2018, Matik Nicholls

Posted on

What Is Life?

I live in an area that’s surrounded by forest and yesterday after I went for a short jog I took a detour into the bush. Venturing into nature is one of my favourite pastimes. For me it is deeply restorative. Yesterday, I felt more alive as the sights, sounds and smells of the forest invaded my senses.

I have always found that nature is so full of life. I was hearing several birds calling, crickets chirping and the river bubbling over the rocks. I felt, heard and saw the breeze blowing through the trees and rustling the leaves and causing branches to sway. As I stood beneath the trees pondering that thought, a question rose like bubbles to the surface of my mind, “What is Life?”.

Science says that what distinguishes living creatures from inorganic matter is:

  • Metabolism
  • Growth
  • Adapting to the environment
  • Responding to stimuli
  • Reproduction

While this is meant in a very physical sense, I began to look at it much more holistically. What does it mean for a human being to truly live.

Metabolism

We take in food and oxygen and produce waste and carbon dioxide. Other organisms depend on our waste for food and we depend on others for our food. It’s a wonderful symbiosis. But we are not only physical beings. How do we nourish our minds, our hearts, our spirit? And what do we give off to others? To live, is to be engaged in a symbiotic relationship with all of life where we give and receive in an endless rhythmic cycle. Life is an artful relationship with our world where we are both giver and receiver. If we only inhabit the role of the giver, we are already dead. If we are here only to receive, we are already dead.

Growth

We are constantly changing from the day we are born until the day we die. The inevitability of death is in fact another evidence that we are alive. Life is our continual addition to what we already know and believe. Every new experience should add to us and alter the whole. At the end of our life we should be like an old tree where every ring of its trunk tells a story. Evidences of storms and droughts and sunny days and times of plentiful rain are all written in its flesh. Our minds and hearts should be no different; constantly expanding with the providence supplied by each day of life. Life is leaving wiser and fuller than when you arrived. If we decide that we know it all already, we are already dead.

Adaptation

Our mindset has to adapt. We can’t stay stuck in the same songs from yesteryear and refuse to embrace the technology of today. We have to remain relevant. We have to learn new ways of thinking. New ways of being. New ways of expressing the variety of life. Life is about survival. If we do not change with the world we are already dead.

Responding

Inanimate objects do not respond to stimuli. Love.. no response. Hate.. no response. Our ability to relate to each other is perhaps one of the most intangible expressions of the joy of life. Everything is connected. There are trillions of interactions (stimuli and response) taking place on planet earth every second. Life is relationship. Cut off our minds and hearts from the rest of humanity and we are already dead.

Reproduction

We are hard-wired for sex. The primal urge to reproduce is powerful. Not only physically,  there is also a deep human need to leave a piece of ourselves behind or to live on in some meaningful way. We somehow know that we are meant to have impact beyond the length of our days. We want to leave a mark on the world. To live is to leave a legacy that outlives your body. If we are not fulfilling the purpose for which we were born, we are already dead.

Choose to live!

Joyfully,

Copyright 2018, Matik Nicholls