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Category: Travel

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Stop Judging and Start Relating

 

One of the most common mistakes that I’ve made in my life is judging people that I don’t know. We all do it right? Right? (Please tell me it’s not just me.) We assign characteristics and even worse, motives, to people we have never even talked to! When you think about it, it’s crazy. Or sometimes we’ve met a few people from a particular religion or political party or ethnicity or neighbourhood and we judge the whole based on the few. Everybody who crosses our path who fits the demographic is destined for our bad books. Crazy!

One of the most constructive habits we can cultivate to counteract this bad habit is to try to have authentic interactions with as many varied persons as you can. They say one bad apple spoils the whole bunch, but I have found that it works just as powerfully the other way around; one person can change your perspective of a whole nation. That’s one of the reasons that I love travel so much. I just love to touch, taste and see what looks different to me; what I’ve never experienced before. I love the practice of discovery.

I think the art of building bridges across divides of misunderstanding is even more critical in this fake news world that we currently inhabit. Don’t stay behind your computer/smartphone and pelt stones at the particular group that you love to hate, go out and meet them. One of my favourite examples of this is Daryl Davis. Daryl Davis is a black guy who befriends Klu Klux Klan members. So far, according to this article , he has persuaded 200 members to give up their robes. Now that is someone I would like to emulate. I’m not saying that we will always get someone to agree with our point of view, but we might gain a friend and we definitely will learn something.

Frankly, I don’t think I have ever convinced anybody to my way of thinking (I probably haven’t tried very hard) but I have learned a lot from people with vastly different views to mine and in some cases I’ve come around to their way of thinking. I believe 200% in Christ but I’ve learned a lot from agnostics. I used to believe in beating my children but due solely to a few people in my life with strong views against corporal punishment I am now trying different disciplinary methods. (Admittedly, I am tempted to return to my old ways at every major disciplinary impasse). I used to think Brexiters were myopic but recently I actually met one guy who was outspoken enough to share his views. It was enlightening. His reasoning was sound, and I left the conversation feeling a bit convicted for judging my Brexit friends so harshly and convinced that both sides of the argument had merit.

And this brings me to the final point I wish to make. Please, don’t be afraid to share your views passionately. The most you could be is wrong. There is nothing I find more frustrating than someone who has a strong view but refuses to share it! I know not everyone may be as comfortable (excited even) with debate and confrontation and conflict as I am, but I find it so sad to walk away from someone without ever receiving the gift of their viewpoint. Some say people walk away from these debates unchanged but I disagree. Rarely will I change my view on the spot but I always think about it for days after and a fresh perspective does change how I view things. Even if it is a small adjustment, it’s worthwhile. Some say you should never discuss politics or religion (basically anything that will upset anyone). I say that’s precisely what we should be talking about. It’s what matters. That’s how we evolve as a species, by taking the best of everyone’s ideas and moving forward together.

OK OK I’m off that soapbox…. So…. Get out there and go talk to someone new today!

Joyfully,

Copyright 2018, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.

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Find Your Peeps

The second week of my vacation/retreat started when I picked up my girlfriend, Tricia, in the airport and we drove from Sacramento to Redding. There is just something about road trips! We talked, sang, prayed and laughed all the way. We passed the town of Yolo and of course we had to shout “YOLO!” every time we saw a sign. Then we passed huge stacks of hay and of course we had to go, “Haaaay!” (obviously). This is what happens when you put two corny people in one vehicle for an extended period.

We also kept passing these fields of beautiful flowering trees and eventually curiosity got the better of us and we had to stop to find out what they were and take a picture. Turns out they were cherry trees and they were also highly secured with electric fences and surveillance cameras. (Don’t ask how we got the photo above).

The main purpose of our trip was to attend a conference at Bethel Church in Redding. However, we had a couple free days, so we decided to drive to the Trinity Shasta National Forest and Lake. More road trips! And beautiful scenery. It was a unique experience to see the landscape change to snow as we ascended the mountains.

Then there was the conference. It was epic! It was one of those times when you feel the weight of purpose over your life. We knew this was not a chance event; we were supposed to be there! Again, I was overcome with gratitude as I realized what a privilege it was to have a bff who is as excited as I am about Jesus. I don’t mean just to find someone who is a Christian. I mean a person who will get excited about spending her vacation at a church conference. A person who is intentional about investing in her spiritual growth. Not all Christians are like that, but Tricia certainly is and I’m thankful that she is in my life.

But before this turns into a really soppy post (puke), that’s not all that I was grateful for… There were hundreds of people from over forty-five countries at the conference who were just like us! It reminded me how important it is to find your peeps. Whatever your thing is, it’s important to find the people who are as crazy about it as you are. Whether it is Star Trek, running or rock collecting, find your peeps. Nothing will motivate you to go further and to hone your craft like gathering and sharing what you are passionate about with other like-minded individuals.

Well that brings my California trip to an end, but I expect this time of renewal and retooling will be bearing fruit for many months to come. I enjoyed sharing it with you and I hope it inspires you in some way to invest in yourself.

Joyfully,

Copyright 2018, Matik Nicholls.

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We Are All Connected

As my week in Lake Tahoe comes to an end, I am thinking back on all that I experienced, and I’m filled with gratitude. I don’t take it for granted. Any of it. Some of the highlights were:

  • The snowboarding of course! Having only done it once before, I was thrilled that I was able to be up and riding and enjoying the adrenaline rush of careening down the various intermediate runs without any serious difficulties.
  • The scenery! Coming from the Caribbean, the Lake Tahoe scenery probably washed over me with a freshness that comes with unfamiliarity. Every lift ride back up the mountain was filled with awe and a sacred gratitude. I was fascinated by the difference in weather from the first day I arrived to the last day I left. When I arrived it was snowing and visibility was low. The next day the sun came out to caress a landscape of trees adorned with white frosting. And two days later the trees were all green with a carpet of white underneath as the snow had melted off. The fabulous view of Lake Tahoe from the top of the Tamrack Express lift was one of my favourite views.
  • I was able to complete the first draft of Authentic Joy the novel! I can safely say that my first book will be published this year. So, look out for it folks!

The thing I want to focus on today though is the interactions with the people I met on my trip. Everyday I would take a cable car ride (or The Gondola as they call it) up to the top of the mountain in the morning and back down in the evening. I learned so much during those short rides.

My first thought was, “The world has really become so much smaller.” Every single person I met knew where Trinidad & Tobago was and most had a friend, or roommate or in-law who was a Trinbagonian. Twenty years ago, when I first travelled to the US, that was not the case at all.

Everyone was friendly and welcoming. I met an older lady who used to come skiing with all her girlfriends and they had all stopped for one reason or another, so it was only her and her granddaughter now. I spoke with a lady who had a baby, so she and her husband took turns skiing while the other stayed with the baby. A retired couple told me how the wife had started skiing at 50 because her husband loved it so much and now they were both avid skiers. There was an ex-navy guy who skied in the winter and mountain-biked in the summer and had a brother who surfed like me. He also knew a guy who mountain biked with George Bush Jr. while he was president of the US and said that he was unbelievably fit.

I think the best gondola ride though, was the last one of my trip. It was a full ride. There were seven of us. Three girls and two guys formed a group, while another lady and I were travelling alone. By the time we exited the gondola we had learned that one of the girls was pregnant, her partner was colour blind, the other couple was getting married, the wedding had been moved up by two years, the guys were brothers, they had a lovely aunt who was a bit overweight and many other sundry details. The gondola ride was dubbed “Gondola Ride Confessions” and we exited laughing as we went our separate ways.

I love those experiences! People always wonder how I can travel alone but I never feel lonely. I enjoy the time with myself, meeting new people and communing with nature. At the end of my week in Lake Tahoe I have such a renewed sense of our universal oneness; that we are all connected, with each other and with nature itself.

My girlfriend tells me that the giant redwoods of California always grow in groves because their roots all connect and intertwine underground forming a giant support network. We are all connected. Let’s live that truth daily.

Joyfully,

Copyright 2018, Matik Nicholls

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Fire Bun Retirement

The pervasive retirement paradigm in society today is the biggest con that has ever been pulled on the workforce! Okay maybe I’m exaggerating a bit but hear me out…

The concept of working and saving for roughly forty years of your life to then relax and enjoy your hobbies and travel the world is fundamentally flawed for two reasons:

Firstly, why wait?! Seriously, why should we sweat and stress in the forty prime years of our lives (in terms our physical health) to then pursue our dreams in our declining years? This makes no sense. I have many friends who are not waiting (according to their Facebook pics anyway) and they should be applauded. There is no reason to delay pursuing your passions. DO IT NOW!

Begin strategizing ways to configure your life to achieve YOUR GOALS not only your employer’s. There are lots of good rexcuses (excuses masquerading as reasons) why we cannot do what we are really passionate about of course. After all, you have children and a mortgage and who is going to pay you your current salary to be the next Anthony Bourdain? I can totally relate.

The problem is that we need to overhaul our thinking. You can have more of your time under your control than you think. Getting a hold of this book is a good start to re-wiring your brain: “The 4-Hour Work Week: Escape the 9-5, Live Anywhere and Join the New Rich” by Tim Ferriss.

Why not live your most passionate life now? Do you really want to start enjoying life at sixty? Will you even reach fifty? So go on…..get off your butt and make a plan. Book that trip to see the Northern Lights! Take that one-month spiritual retreat to Thailand! Plan a weekend dinner date in Paris or Trinidad Hyatt! Buy those expensive golf clubs and start going once a week! Buy the electric guitar and start taking lessons online! In 2016 I did a two-week surfing retreat in Costa Rica. One of the best two weeks of my life!

The second problem with retirement is the vast wealth of knowledge and experience that goes down the drain. Retirement age is the prime time for giving back. Years of hard knocks and application of knowledge and skill should have produced a person that is not only wise but also mature.

Now, I do not mean that people should continue working in the same mode as before, clinging to position and power. The current classic example of this is Robert Mugabe in Zimbabwe. We have too many leaders that have stifled the growth of companies and countries and churches by making themselves indispensable. This tragedy is all around us in Trinidad and Tobago. Why do the same old names keep recycling in our political parties and high-profile energy committees until they literally cannot walk anymore? It seems politicians and religious leaders only change when the incumbent dies.

What I am proposing is a transition to a mentorship role. Behind the scenes, men and women with deep knowledge and insight; veterans who have been through the good, the bad and the ugly should be ensuring the next generation benefits from their knowledge. This passing of the baton is what builds a nation. We need young innovative people with fresh ideas and zeal and energy, unfettered by tradition and history, to be in the driver’s seat while the wise and mature elders guide and coach in the background.

In our families the same is needed. Granny and grandpa should not be off golfing and ballroom dancing 24/7 or worst yet in a home for the aged somewhere. Their guiding hands and support are needed today more than ever while at the same time the younger generation needs to chart a new course in this new world.

In summary, do not put off your most passionate life for after sixty. Instead, begin to strategize around how in your later years you will help the next generation to surpass your accomplishments!

Joyfully,

Copyright 2017, Matik Nicholls

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I Love To Travel, I Hate To Travel

I was on my way to another work assignment. It was the third time I was travelling over the last five weeks. Fate had conspired to have two conferences fall close to a planned trip, creating the unavoidable situation. I did not want to go. I did not want to leave my children again. I was missing them even before I left. Thankfully though, they handle it much better now than when they were younger (Skype is a tremendous help as well), but still none of us were excited about it.

I looked out of the airplane as the sun rose over Trinidad, bathing everything in its warmth. The lilting voices of Gaelic Psalm singing coming through my headphones seemed perfectly matched with the fantasy cloud world on the other side of my window. I took a picture. I had scores of similar photos yet each photo was unique and each time the scene took my breath away.

I had begun the metamorphosis to travel-mode or Uncle Travelling Matt as some of my friends like to call me. I love to travel. I love the precious me-time that only seems possible whizzing through the air at 30,000 feet. No email, no Whatsapp, no phone calls, no children. Ahhhh. And then there’s something about the hum of that engine (as a co-worker recently quipped) that puts me right to sleep. I can fall asleep on the fifteen-minute flight from Trinidad to Tobago 😊.

I have seen a lot of the world while travelling on business and for that I am thankful. Experiencing different geographies and cultures I believe is one of the most mind-opening things you can do. I love connecting with people from all walks of life. The more I travel, the more I value the brotherhood of mankind. I see myself in every person and at the same time I see the diversity in every country and every culture. I realize that the struggles in my country are not unique to Trinidad and Tobago and at the same time I appreciate strengths of other societies that we can learn from and vice versa. I am such a believer in the positive benefits of travel that I think a trip outside of your country should be a compulsory part of secondary school education.

With all that being said, however, after one week I’m ready to go home. All my routines tend toward neglect when I travel. Prayer, exercise, diet…they are all assaulted by the unfamiliar surroundings and time zones. The forward trajectory of my life is built upon a stable routine of habits that keep me focused and healthy… But learning and growth necessitates injections of change, discomfort and the unfamiliar… It’s quite a balancing act.

A growing, thriving life is like a song. A steady rhythm holds it all together. Everything rides on the beat. Without the stable beat the whole song falls apart. But it is the crescendos and surprising melodic twists that makes the beauty of the music. It is this tension between predictability and spontaneity; between stability and drama; that makes music and life more art than science.

Fill the earth with the joyful sounds of the music of your life!

Copyright 2017, Matik Nicholls

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From Basingstoke WIth Love

As I sat down with mummy on the eight-hour flight heading back to Trinidad, I was reflecting on our time spent with dear friends in Basingstoke, U.K. It was the kind of trip that is best described in photographs and poetry:

When venturing to new places afar,

Especially on a mission with your mama,

You imagine the adventures that await.

But when your eye beholds the place,

And feet step to undiscovered space,

Only then the fullness breaks on open hearts.

The windows that open unto apple trees in the orchard,

And the windows that open unto mango trees in the yard,

Let in the same light that refreshes thirsty souls.

The moor hen moans by the lake.

The kiskidee call; as its namesake.

Both sing the same hymn of praise.

“Which way do you think we go now mummy?”

People bustled by as she studied the map intently.

“South to Waterloo!” brought a victorious smile on both faces.

Port and tea around a crackling fireplace at night.

Ox cheeks, grouse, hash and cod set tummies right,

And stories, jokes, open hearts and twinkling eyes shone through.

Bubbling brooks, dandelions, oaks and deer.

Enid Blyton’s storybook scenes all there.

Somehow carried a familiar tune far away from home.

But it was the same mischievous smiling eyes and dreams and plans,

And the common humanity; Clarke-Samlal, Philip-Nicholls clans,

That pealed like church bells over the meadows of Basingstoke with love.

Copyright 2017, Matik Nicholls