fbpx

Tag: #leadership

Posted on

A Mile in My Shoes

Being a man is not as glamourous or as easy as some women (and men) would make it out to be. We just don’t talk about it. And that’s the problem. The media is littered with the struggles women face in the workplace and in the family but there is a noticeable void when it comes to the challenges unique to the male gender. This in and of itself is one of the biggest challenges men face. We believe manliness includes the projection of strength at all times. This is one of the great issues of our time. It is destroying families, churches, corporations and countries. Men will not be vulnerable, show weakness, seek help or admit failure until they are forced to do so by a catastrophic crash.

I am particularly passionate about this culture of machismo and bravado in the church world because I see the wake of destruction it is causing. I am sure that almost every moral failure of every religious leader could be traced back to a point where the problem was still in its infancy but there was no space in the culture to be open about their problems. To admit that ‘we all sin’ is the biggest sin. It would mean being shamed, judged and demoted. Leaders must be infallible. The enemy, ably assisted by bible-thumping ‘perfect’ pastors worldwide, has used this culture to keep men of God in a morass of moral stagnancy for decades. True transformation begins with the space to ‘confess’ failure safely and receive help not condemnation. *Exhale* I digress..

So, I thought that in this blog I would give some insight into some of my personal struggles as a way of giving some insight into the male psyche and taking a small stand against this destructive definition of masculinity. I was actually grappling with these thoughts (by myself of course) amid the normal daily chaos of family life when I came across a podcast by my cousin and his friends titled Toxic Masculinity. That podcast inspired me to share my story.

I consider myself the leader of my family. I know this is, perhaps, a traditional view of the family structure, but I believe it is still a widely held belief (although most might not admit to it outright). Certainly, it is a common belief in the Judeo-Christian world. I start here because it sets the context for most men of the psychological pressures that we face as husbands and fathers. This has less to do with power and much more to do with responsibility. I abhor submission doctrines that are really tantamount to domination doctrines. I view my wife as co-leader of our family, but I still feel a great responsibly to provide for and protect my family. It’s just how I am wired and how many men I talk to are wired. This is not just in a financial and physical sense but also in an emotional sense. I want my wife and children to feel loved and I want them to be happy and I feel a great sense of responsibility to provide an environment that makes that happen.

As a disciple of Christ, I understand that the best thing I can do for my family is to follow God wholeheartedly. I know that if I align myself and my family with His will everything will be optimal. However, the problem I face is this – who determines what is God’s will? Do I? Does my wife? The children? We all believe we know the right way and often we are not in agreement. This is exacerbated in a blended family like mine.

In a blended family there are two sets of adults and children with distinct and unique cultures and traditions coming together to live in one house. Conflict is inevitable and inevitably each parent feels like the one caught in the middle. For me, on one hand, my wife wants my support in enforcing things the way she believes they should be done and if I don’t it makes her look like the evil stepmother. On the other hand, my children want things to remain as they were before and if I take her ‘side’ it’s evidence that I love her more than them and everything is now about her. This is the tightrope I have to walk every day and it is TOUGH.

Constantly, I find myself in the middle trying to make everyone see things from the other’s point of view. This scenario is not just between my wife and my children. It’s between her biological children and my biological children. It’s my children’s mother who has concerns about what’s affecting her children in my house. Its grandparents who have their own views of how we are bringing up the children. In each case, I am trying not to just brush them off but to actively listen, to hear the heart behind the words and ultimately to have a response that is filled with the wisdom and compassion of God and that reconciles and not divides.

If I did not care what God thought, it would be easy! I could just ignore everyone. “You can’t let your children run your home!” the parental pundits say. (Far less listen to your ex-wife’s concerns). But that’s not an option for me because my God teaches humility and compassion and to value EVERYONE. Many (if not all) Christian counselors say that husbands should put their wives first and children second, but I cannot subscribe to that in a blended context. Children in a blended family desperately need to know that they haven’t suddenly become second-rate citizens.

So, I find myself many times pleasing no one and everyone feeling that I favour the others. This is the defining feeling of being a man for me. The feeling that there is no one emotionally supporting me. I have to be the voice of reason, the inspirer, the pray-er, the optimist, the visionary, the reminder of God’s promises, the bigger person and reconciler to everyone and expect no empathy for my role. Often, I feel emotionally blackmailed into a decision and when it backfires, I beat myself up for listening to my wife or my children instead of doing what I felt was right.

But this is not THE truth. In a sense, it’s a prison of my own making because I am actually surrounded by supportive people! The truth is that my wife is my #1 cheerleader and support. In fact, she could be having the worst day but if she knows that I am struggling she immediately switches to full on support mode. I also have children (some more than others) that say, “Thank you dad for all you do for me.” Honestly, there has not been a moment in my life when I’ve had more support than right now. Yet, I still often feel overwhelmed because I still feel that it’s my job to be the strong one for them.

More recently, God has been teaching me to give my burdens to Him. I’ve always known this in theory… I could say the prayer, “Lord I give my burdens to You” but now more than ever I am learning how to practice this exchange of my anxiety, frustration and fatigue for His security, love and refreshing in tender moments of intimacy with Him each morning. It’s a beautiful place.

Well that’s my story. I would love to hear what being a man feels like for you.

Copyright 2021, Matik Nicholls.
All rights reserved.

To receive more content like this in your inbox and to receive a free e-copy of my book, The Primacy of The Voice of God – Elevating the Word of God to Its Rightful Position, please subscribe to www.authenticjoy.org.

Posted on

Amanda Gorman – The Power of Words

As this beautiful, articulate, fierce, young woman spit lines from the podium my heart burned and tears came to my eyes. Emanating from this force of nature was something exquisite and powerful. My consciousness was re-awakened to a truth that must have grown dim – words have power.

It seems to me that many of us had forgotten this truth. For a time, we were caught up in a world where words were flung about without thought or care. Sprayed wastefully like cheap cologne or maliciously like rubber bullets. We set our eyes on political power and legislative agendas as the saviours of our world. Our hearts fibrillated in anxiety or exulted in victory, as our preferred narratives collided with reality.

Then came Amanda, armed only with a slingshot full of words. She took aim. And let loose. Straight between the eyes of hate, ego, division and fear-based-manipulation! She stood astride the divide and aimed high. She called out the best in us, over and over again. The sound waves seemed to cleanse and heal. The sonic pulses fanned the flames of convictions that had grown cold and polished ideals that had become dull.

The clarion call rang out over Capitol Hill: hope, harmony, truth, justice, faith, unity, perseverance, bravery, mercy…

Could God use a poem just as powerfully as legislation? Indeed, could a poet be more powerful than a President? Out of the mouth of babes God has ordained strength. We are designed to shape our world by the words we speak.

Let us not forget, words have power.

James 3:3-5 (MSG)

A bit in the mouth of a horse controls the whole horse. A small rudder on a huge ship in the hands of a skilled captain sets a course in the face of the strongest winds. A word out of your mouth may seem of no account, but it can accomplish nearly anything—or destroy it!

Copyright 2021, Matik Nicholls.
All rights reserved.

To receive more content like this in your inbox and to receive a free e-copy of my book, The Primacy of The Voice of God – Elevating the Word of God to Its Rightful Position, please subscribe to www.authenticjoy.org.

Posted on

A Culture Of Compliance

Welcome to part 3 of the kingdom culture series. Today I want to talk about how we lead people in the kingdom. Due to their span of influence, leaders have a great impact on the culture of the organizations or teams that they lead. Arguably nothing influences culture more than how we treat the people we lead.

Although it still exists in some organizations, I believe that the pitfalls of leading through intimidation, punishment and domination are well known and accepted in both the secular and church arenas. However, what is still prevalent and widely accepted today is a culture of compliance. Meaning that followers are required by leaders to comply with their instructions, no questions asked.

While compliance may be acceptable in the world value system, a culture of compliance is not kingdom culture. Many church people do not get this. Perhaps it is because in the Old Testament times it was all about compliance. The leadership system centered around a strict compliance with the religious laws and rituals enforced by the leader/king. It fostered an ultimate leader culture that was so dominant that the spiritual health of the entire community rose and fell on the character of the leader alone.

Then, over two thousand years ago Christ entered the scene and flipped the script. He modelled and taught a different kind of leadership. His leadership placed supreme value on winning the heart not just enforcing surface obedience. He said (Mat 5:27-28):

27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ 28 But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Jesus was the ultimate change agent for this new culture. Changing the compliance culture that had grown deep roots over hundreds of years of Jewish tradition was a monumental task. Jesus repeatedly confronted it head on as he butt heads with the religious leaders. He did not mince words. Check Him out in action(Mat 23:27-28):

27 “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs, which outwardly appear beautiful, but within are full of dead people’s bones and all uncleanness. 28 So you also outwardly appear righteous to others, but within you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.

In the corporate world many leaders are focused on compliance with the company’s rules and the leader’s instructions. Insubordination is severely punished and not towing the line leads to victimization. When we consider that many churches function along the same lines we should be cut to the heart. The culture of the world has deeply infiltrated our churches. We have lost our saltiness.

Jesus walked in this earth humbly. He modeled the type of leader that God desires. His first response to sin was mercy and forgiveness. He did not seek to lord it over others and assert His authority and control as so many religious leaders do today. He loved us first and demonstrated it by dying for us while we were yet His enemies.

Remember when Jesus gave an experiential lesson to His disciples in servant leadership by washing their feet? He even washed Judas’ feet! The feet of the man whom He knew would cause Him so much pain and suffering; that man’s feet. In other words, Jesus loved and served the rogue church member who was out to assassinate His leadership. Think about that. Jesus’ objective is not to get us to serve Him by coercion or manipulation. He is committed to winning our love through loving sacrifice and service.

The church is rife with leaders who believe that their followers are best served by a culture of complete compliance to their leadership. Sin is shamed and punished. Those who obey unquestioningly and fawn over the leaders are favoured. Corporate world culture with a side order of hallelujah. I believe most church leaders are genuine but just do not understand how kingdom submission works. Submission is VOLUNTARY and in the church it is supposed to be RECIPROCAL. Forced submission is domination, period. Sometimes more subtle approaches like social pressure or withholding love or withholding opportunities are used but the cancer is the same. Corporate leaders use the same tactics.

The missed opportunity here is the opportunity to transform the heart through love. That is what Jesus is after. That is what the Father is after. That is what Jesus came to demonstrate. Gaining compliance without transformation of the heart is no gain at all in Christ’s books. The body of Christ is supposed to operate as a community of equals serving each other. We each have different roles and gifts but we are all directed by one head; Jesus Christ. We submit to one another. We honour one another. We love one another. There is no hierarchy of value in the body. The toe has the same value as the eye. Jesus says it this way (Mat 23:8-12):

8 But you are not to be called rabbi, for you have one teacher, and you are all brothers. 9 And call no man your father on earth, for you have one Father, who is in heaven. 10 Neither be called instructors, for you have one instructor, the Christ. 11 The greatest among you shall be your servant. 12 Whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.

As kingdom leaders we have one job; to love all and to serve all. Our objective is not to gain people’s compliance but to win their hearts for Christ. That, is kingdom culture.

Copyright 2019, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.
Posted on

Introduction To Kingdom Culture

It was Peter Drucker who said, “Culture eats strategy for breakfast.” I have found this statement to be profoundly true. You can have the best strategy and be executing planned activities diligently but if the culture does not support your strategy the results will not follow. Conversely, a mediocre strategy with activities that don’t quite hit the mark executed in the context of a culture that supports the organization’s highest ideals will bring surprising rewards.

Truth is truth and applies equally in secular and religious spheres. Therefore, it behoves us to ask, “What is kingdom culture?” What are the ideals that should shape the culture in our local churches to ensure that what we are building is truly founded on the cornerstone of Christ? The question of culture in our churches is more important than issues of evangelism strategies, worship format or youth programmes for example. Culture is what will colour everything in our church and ultimately determine whether we are truly light and salt to the earth or just a religious part of the world culture.

Let’s start with the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5:1-14):

1 Seeing the crowds, he went up on the mountain, and when he sat down, his disciples came to him.

2 And he opened his mouth and taught them, saying:

3 “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

4 “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.

5 “Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.

6 “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.

7 “Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.

8 “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.

9 “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.

10 “Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

11 “Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. 12 Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

The first point I wish to make is that all of the things that are called ‘blessed’ here are not things that are generally highly esteemed by the world culture. Jesus esteems poverty, the world values riches. Jesus esteems mourning, the world is looking for happiness. Jesus esteems meekness, the world values status. Jesus esteems hunger and thirst, the world values excess. Jesus esteems mercy, the world says, “Make them pay!”, Jesus esteems purity, the world glorifies sin. Jesus esteems the peacemaker, the world glorifies the soldier. Jesus esteems the persecuted, the world glorifies the strong. Heaven’s culture is diametrically opposed to the world culture. The core ethos of all of the ‘blessed’ statements is that in the kingdom you lose your life to save it, the greatest is the servant of all and the last will be first. This is the kingdom economy. The saint lives in a constant awareness of his lack and weakness so that his riches, righteousness and strength comes from and is attributed solely to the presence of Christ in his life. It is a glorious calling!

Sadly, the church in general is severely contaminated with the world culture. In many instances we have the same values just different jargon. We run after riches and call it blessings. We cry vengeance for our persecutors and call them heathens and demons. We walk around puffed up because we are ‘Christians’ (or belong to a particular subdivision or have a particular title) and make war in the name of God and truth and doctrine. We heap up titles like apostle and pastor and reverend, building our own religious hierarchy and fawning over the higher ups like corporate sycophants.

We need to expunge these world values from the church. We need to be clear on the tenets of the culture of the kingdom and be intentional about the culture that we are crafting. In future blogs I will go into more details. To conclude for this introduction, it is no coincidence that after the beatitudes, Jesus makes this statement (Matthew 5:13-16):

13 “You are the salt of the earth, but if salt has lost its taste, how shall its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trampled under people’s feet. 14 “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. 16 In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.

Copyright 2019, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.
Posted on

Everybody Wants To Be A Hero

Everybody wants to be a hero. We want to be the hero for our children or in our company or maybe in our community. It’s a natural desire but pushed to the extreme it can do more harm than good.

When we have this hero complex, what often happens is that we do not allow others to shine. Much has been published about helicopter parenting and the negative effects of solving all your children’s problems for them. Our children can only actualize their full potential if we are willing to step down from the pedestal of needing to be idolized and allow them to rise to the challenges of life. Self-esteem comes from observing yourself achieve something that was not easy to accomplish. This growth in our children is what we sacrifice when we put on our cape and swoop in.

The same is true in other arenas. The old adage is true; “Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Teach him how to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.” Heroism shies away from giving away the secret of your success. Instead of focusing on empowering others we perpetuate a dependency on ourselves so that we are always the ones who get the accolades. This has been the strategy of successive governments in Trinidad and Tobago and it has been to the detriment of the country. The message on the political platform in some form or other has been, “Choose us. We will save you.” I eagerly await the day when some courageous leader will transform the dialogue from dependency to empowerment.

Another arena that is a passion of mine is the church. Many church leaders have also devotedly perpetuated this dependence syndrome in their congregations. Instead of teaching everyone how to hear from God and interpret scripture for themselves there has been a sick ultimate leader syndrome that discourages respectful disagreement or independent thought. Blind obedience is glorified and taking the initiative is discouraged as causing confusion or being overly-zealous. Of course, the need to covet glory for ourselves is part of the unsanctified human condition that has reared its head from since the early days of the church until now. Religious men have always set themselves up as THE middleman to God. Instead every pastor, elder and priest should be consistently and earnestly pointing everyone to Christ. “Do not depend on me, depend on God alone. Don’t look to me to solve your problems and give you guidance. Look to God.” This should be the message. There should be a constant redirection of worship and dependence and glory to the Father, Son and Holy Ghost.

In THE story; the unfolding epic saga of the whole universe for all time, in my humble estimation, there is only one hero who deserves all the glory and His name is Jesus Christ! He is the real hero!

Copyright 2019, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.
Posted on

The Self-Preservation Problem

 

Self-preservation is a natural instinct. While, in the majority of today’s societies protecting oneself from physical harm is not a daily concern, our natural instincts have adapted and remain relevant to the corporate arena where we fight to preserve our jobs and our income.

Unfortunately, we have become very short-sighted where this is concerned. Daily, I see people at all levels of the corporate world, from workers to managers to shareholders, make decisions that may reap short term gains, but in the long run are self-destructive. Let me illustrate:

Some workers find a variety of ways to do work in overtime that could be done during normal working hours. This may result in thousands of extra dollars in their pocket every month but what is the effect on the profitability of the company that provides their livelihood? When they and thousands of their co-workers are without jobs, what next?

Unions encourage these same employees to agitate for more pay and turn a blind eye to corruption and unproductive practices as they focus on collecting their dues. I wonder if they consider that workers that are unemployed can no longer pay union dues. The chickens always return home to roost.

Management is by no means innocent of this destructive virus of looking after #1 at the expense of others. How many managers and supervisors are unwilling to stand up to shareholders and take a stand for what is right or what is in the best interest of the company because they are afraid of losing their jobs? Everybody tows the line to look like a star for a day and hopefully move up the corporate ladder. ‘Our people are our most important assets’, ‘we value our people’ and similar slogans have become sad buzz words in some companies where workers are forced into working long hours with ever-increasing job descriptions and no training under threat of losing their jobs.

Then there are the shareholders who want all their dividends NOW. There is no reinvestment in the sustainability of the business for the next 10 or 20 years. Shareholders with this type of short-term mindset are the most destructive force in the business as this culture permeates down through the whole organization. Often this is accompanied by an autocratic leadership style where the directors see their role as performance (slave)drivers who keep the managers on their toes. Neither poor performance nor differing views are tolerated and there isn’t an ear for feedback from the ground. Directors are not partners with the executive to craft a sustainable business but rather task masters to ensure maximum (short-term) returns to the shareholders’ pockets.

Maybe I have painted an overly pessimistic picture but the stories I read in the newspapers seem to bear evidence that I’m not far off from reality. We have to begin to look beyond ourselves. A new business model needs to arise. All the stakeholders need to become partners in sustainable value creation. Shareholders, managers, employees, unions… forging a sustainable future together. Our survival depends on it.

Joyfully,

Copyright 2018, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.

Posted on

Altitude Sickness

 

Altitude sickness is an illness that is pervasive in the upper hierarchy of many organizations. It is the tendency of managers to become more and more disconnected from the people and the reality on the ground, the higher they rise within the organization. When this illness has run its full course, the victim lives in an alternate reality of which they are convinced is real.

This may sound exaggerated, but it is not I’m afraid. And it is easy to see why this happens. In many organizations, especially very hierarchical ones, as one ascends the hierarchy the contact with customers and the staff that produce the products or deliver the services, becomes less and less. At the highest levels it can be practically non-existent. So how does a CEO, for example, get intelligence about what’s happening in his company or the environment in which it operates? From reports and media publications; two sources that are filled with bias and absent of the nitty gritty details that are often quite important.

Let’s look at reports. The typical report covers such a large span of time and range of company activities that it has to be pared down to the most pertinent data and it is up to the people preparing the reports to decide what is pertinent. Consider that this information has to flow upward through several layers with each person deciding what should be included and often incentivized to only show information that the boss wants to hear. One can quickly see why the higher the information flows, the less accurate it is (similar to a game of pass the message).

Consider a hypothetical example… Joe produces widgets for a company called D. Luded Inc. He has a quota of 10 a day. On Monday he makes 13 but 3 are defective because his tools aren’t the most modern. He tells his shift supervisor who makes up a shift report. The supervisor, Jim, simply records 10 units made as per target but there is higher than budget overtime (due to all the rework). He has mentioned the need for better tools to his manager several times. However, the manager; Jane, is not getting the tools because she is under pressure from the regional manager to reduce costs. So, she reports production on target and expenses below budget.  The regional manager, Bob, has some companies performing badly within the region and that is why he is pressuring Jane to reduce costs further so that the region as a whole looks good. Bob’s quarterly report to head office looks awesome. No doubt next month the region will be asked to increase production and reduce costs further.

You see where I am going with this? The head of D. Luded completely lacks the information to run the company properly (far less the board of directors). The only way to arrest this altitude sickness is to start at ground zero – literally. Managers must intentionally inculcate habits that keep them connected with their ground staff and customers.

Here are 3 essential habits to accomplish this:

  1. You CANNOT punish bad news. This is an absolute necessity. None of the other habits will work unless people feel safe to tell you the truth. When bad news is punished, all you will get is good news until it is absolutely too late to do anything about it. People must feel empowered to push back on your demands based on the on-the-ground reality.
  2. You CANNOT be the expert on everything. If you believe you know more about making widgets than Joe because you started in the company 20 years ago as a widget maker then you are truly deluded. No matter how successful you are, nothing can replace the intel that the people who are actually working the machines and interacting with the customers bring to the conversation.
  3. You CANNOT run any organization from an office. Get out and go talk to people. Meet customers. Create informal settings where you can chat with the Joes of your company.

The first step to curing altitude sickness is to be aware of the disease. Stop altitude sickness in your workplace today!

Joyfully,

Copyright 2018, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.

Posted on

What’s Up With All This Wakanda Fever?

When people started crossing their fists to their shoulders and saying, “Wakanda forever!” I was amused. Then they started dressing up in traditional African wear and painting their faces to watch the movie and I was bewildered. I didn’t get it. What about this movie, that was pure fiction, was eliciting such strong emotions? Trinbagonians generally do not identify strongly with their African roots. I certainly don’t. I’m a proud and patriotic Trinbagonian. Full stop. But here were my countrymen displaying an uncharacteristic African pride. Intriguing.

So I had to see this movie for myself and I did. And I still did not get it. But I think I know why – I have AIDD – African Identity Deficit Disorder. I identified with M’baku because Winston Duke is from Trinidad & Tobago. I thought he gave a fantastic performance! Go T&T! I was also inspired by the fact that many of the cast and crew were men and women of faith. Like Letitia Wright who is very vocal about her faith (and also born in Guyana). Go Caribbean! But I got no warm fuzzy feelings of black pride. So I’m checking myself into therapy.

However, what struck me most about the film was the leadership types that were so well scripted. There was M’Baku. He was the typical good leader who is only interested in his people. He will do everything to protect and benefit his tribe or country or town or social group. He must preserve the old ways at whatever cost and keep the people out there from polluting the good thing we have going in here. The portrayal of this stereotype is powerfully relevant to the world we live in today. There is strong evidence of the rising popularity of this type of thinking.

Then there was Erik Killmonger. The champion of the downtrodden and disadvantaged who wants to fight fire with fire. He is not interested in peace or harmony but with vengeance and empowering his tribe to take a place of dominance. Again a very popular sentiment today. How many times have we seen on the news and in our social media feeds people fighting hate with hate and violence with violence? This is something I feel very passionate about. I know in my gut that hate can never stop hate, only love can do that. Violence can never stop violence, only peace can do that.  Only those who can forgive their oppressors and join hands with their detractors can bring peace in this world. Don’t be a Killmonger.

Finally, the hero, T’Challa – The Black Panther. T’Challa’s leadership epitomizes the leader who does not only care about his people but cares about all people. This in my mind, is the mark of a great leader. His heart shone through in various scenes: when he begged M’Baku to yield rather than be killed because his people needed him, when he chastised his father for leaving Erik behind and chose to live rather than rest easy with his ancestors, when he offered to save Killmonger’s life at the end. At every opportunity to use his strength and power to dominate or seek his own interest, he chose instead to show mercy and to empower and lift up others. The stirring ending of course, being the opening up of Wakanda’s technology and way of life to the disadvantaged community where Erik grew up.

It is my hope that when people celebrate this movie that it is not only because it contained many actors of African heritage but because we yearn for leaders who lead from a heart of love and service for all men of every colour.

Wakanda forever!

Copyright 2018, Matik Nicholls. All Rights Reserved.

Posted on

The Challenge Trophy

Yesterday was the graduation ceremony for the Millennium Bible Institute class of 2017. I graduated with a certificate in Practical Theology and I was the class valedictorian, for which I received a challenge trophy. I chuckled to myself at the phrase ‘challenge trophy’ because, as I was introduced to give the valedictory address and then to receive the trophy, I was introduced as the student who challenged everything. It was no exaggeration.

Groupthink is defined as a psychological phenomenon that occurs within a group of people in which the desire for harmony or conformity in the group results in an irrational or dysfunctional decision-making outcome. Group members try to minimize conflict and reach a consensus decision without critical evaluation of alternative viewpoints by actively suppressing dissenting viewpoints, and by isolating themselves from outside influences.

I have seen the treacherous nature of this phenomenon at work in the business place and in the church. Leadership plays a critical role in guarding against groupthink by maintaining a healthy environment which fosters sound decision-making outcomes. Critical to this is how leaders handle challenges to their ideas. If a leader handles a challenge without getting defensive but welcomes alternative viewpoints then people will know that it is safe to share their ideas, suggestions and feedback.

However, if a leader victimizes or bullies those who oppose his views then people will quickly learn to just follow orders and leave their brains at the door. This leads to a plethora of unhealthy outcomes. Leadership will have a distorted view of reality, there will be a poverty of rigorous thinking and creativity, a culture that fosters blame and sabotage will be created, and faulty decisions will result. The final outcome will be failed businesses and failed churches.

Early on in my career and later on in my church life I learned the value of challenging ideas. I realized that the phenomenon of groupthink was widespread, and I determined to be an outspoken, independent thinker. I challenged anybody and anything without fear or favour, not to be rebellious but because I genuinely wanted what was best for the organization and for the church. Some did not respond well to being challenged and others welcomed it.

Great leaders welcome differing views and I was fortunate enough to have a few pivotal leaders in my life who encouraged me to share my views. David Jardim, my boss when I worked at Tracmac Engineering (now Massy CAT), told me not to be a ‘shrinking violet’. Unknown to him it was something God was working on in me at the time and his words had a great effect on how I viewed myself and my contribution from then on. He started the ball rolling and it hasn’t stopped since.

Many years later I had the privilege of reporting to Eugene Tiah at Phoenix Park Gas Processors Ltd. and he was a firm believer in getting everybody’s views no matter what they were. His humility is exceedingly rare in the business world and his leadership has had a great impact on my life. Most recently I have found a rare gem in my pastor, Edward Phillips, who was also my lecturer at bible school. He too, encouraged me to challenge the status quo. “Those who challenge things,” he says, “are the ones who go on to become great scholars.”

These thoughts rolled around in my head as the graduation ceremony proceeded yesterday and I gave God thanks for placing these men in my life at the right moments to allow me to be me and to grow and to mature. I hope that I will be also be a leader like them who allows those around me to be forthright and creative and bring all that they have to contribute to the success of the wider community.

Joyfully,

Copyright 2017, Matik Nicholls.

Posted on

What’s Your Story?

“Nicholls! What did I just say?” My Geography teacher had caught me talking to my friend. My mind raced. My subconscious had recorded what he was explaining on the board but I was not confident that I had heard it right so in the end I said, “I don’t know, Sir.” “Stand up!” I stood as he approached me. He began to draw lines on my face with his chalk. “I wonder why you don’t know.” I fought back tears as he continued to decorate on my face….

That was the day I decided that I would get top marks in Geography. I don’t know why I responded to that incident that way but I was determined that that teacher was not going to keep me down. I did not tell my parents about it. I just fought back the only way I knew how. One day I would be more successful than him and nothing could shake my resolve.

I’m currently reading the book Discover Your True North – Becoming an Authentic Leader by Bill George (which I highly recommend by the way) and he talks about the fact that your life story defines your leadership. “The journey to authentic leadership begins with understanding yourself..” he says. He goes on to talk about how we all have varied and unique life experiences which shape us and many of the leaders he interviewed for the book were defined more by their negative experiences than their positive ones.

As I turned the pages of my book, my encounter with my Geography teacher came flooding back to me. I never really considered how much that moment defined me. It would be the template I would use for dealing with unfair circumstances for years to come. Two major character traits solidified:

  1. Independence – I deal with things on my own. I hate asking for help. I handle my stories as I like to say and if you think that you can hold me to ransom by withholding some form of support or assistance, you are sorely mistaken. This is sometimes a useful trait and sometimes a destructive one. Later on in life other experiences would bring some balance. I would mature from independence to interdependence but my natural bent is still towards independence.
  2. High Self Worth – I know my value and how you treat me is a reflection of you not me. Discrimination does not phase me. As the Obamas say, “When they go low, we go high.” Some people just don’t know any better. I feel sorry for them. I don’t waste my energy on them. I invest my energy in my success which is in the hands of God alone.

I’ve seen these traits at work over and over throughout my life story. The journey towards your authentic leadership and authentic joy begins with understanding yourself. We can never find joy trying to live other people’s stories or denying who we are. Embrace who you are. Find things to love about yourself and change the things that you don’t. But if you do change, change for you not for anyone else.

By that, I do not mean you never compromise. I mean if you do compromise, you do it because of who you want to be as a person. It cannot be a change forced upon you. It cannot be primarily to keep or get something or someone you want. It has to be because of who you want to be. All authentic and lasting change comes from the inside-out. Do not give authorship of your story to any man. That path will never lead to joy.

Joyfully,

Copyright 2017,  Matik Nicholls