Yesterday was one of those days. I did not want to get out of bed. I was falling behind on initiatives towards personal goals I had set for myself. My boss was not too happy with me after I had shared some bad news on a project that he was not expecting. My youngest son was upset that I had taken away his phone and my daughter was crashing under a mountain of lessons and homework. And there were several other conflicts and dramas that is inherent with my complexed family situation. Waking up to face the day seemed daunting.
I finally dragged myself off the bed and pressed robotically into the routine. Iron. Wake up children. Bathe. Shave. Brush teeth. Dress. What does this have to do with authentic joy you may ask? Well it definitely has a lot to do with authenticity. This is the reality of some of my days. Sometimes it’s tough! Sometimes it seems like everybody and everything is pulling on me, depending on me, draining my energy. Have you ever felt like that?
As for joy, well I like to think of joy as something deeper than mere happiness. Happiness is a mood; an emotion. As a preacher once said, happiness is based on what’s happening. Sometimes we will be happy. Sometimes sad. Sometimes frustrated. Sometimes angry. But beneath all of that is our raison d’être; the most important reason for our existence. Joy is not in our moods and circumstances but in the fulfilment of a purposeful life.
Days like these when I can’t self-motivate is when my support systems kick in (hopefully). Yesterday my bff lovingly reminded me of my raison d’être. I reached out to another friend and he Whatsapped me some encouragement. Even the Facebook newsfeeds and emails we receive on a daily basis can be sources of encouragement if we intentionally set it up that way. You can choose what messages pass through the filters to fill your soul. Sometimes we need a reminder of who we are and why we’re here. A reminder that this too shall pass. That something good is coming out of all of this. Something to talk us down from jumping off the bridge into the river of despair. Honestly there have been some days when even the support systems failed, and my children were probably the only thing that stopped me from quitting my job and disappearing into obscurity somewhere.
For some reason life does not give you a time out. I still had to go to work and muster up the strength to approach the boss constructively. I still had to deal with the children patiently and lovingly support them in their crises. I had to dig deep inside but when I did I found that there was strength there. Beyond the religious ‘too blessed to be stressed’ hype, deep inside my soul was a quiet resource. A calm assurance as old and resilient as the mountains.
I went there and I found joy.
Copyright 2017, Matik Nicholls
Beautiful Mat and so true for us all.
Thanks Devi.