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Author: Matik Nicholls

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The Fire Series: Identity Wars

A few days ago I started a book called The Veil by Blake Healy and I could not put it down. I finished reading it in two days! MY MIND HAS BEEN BLOWN.

The book shares the highlights of Blake’s life as one who could see clearly in the spirit realm from childhood. He describes in amazing detail the unseen activity that surrounds us at every single moment. You might think that the spectacle of angels and demons and the epic drama that goes on behind the scenes is what got me so excited, but it wasn’t.

What completely shook up my world was two things:

  1. The sheer sovereignty of God. God is not in a battle with satan. There is no contest. When God turns up, everything else moves aside. It is only we who give demonic forces the power to operate in our lives and in the earth.
  2. The copious amount of resources that are constantly being deployed by heaven in demonstration of God’s unceasing love for us! All of heaven is literally rooting for us!

These are not concepts that I have not considered before but hearing (it was an audiobook) the outworking of that described in detail took my faith to the next level! In my humble opinion this book is a must-read for all Christians.

There were so many little details that beautifully communicated the heart of God. Like one time Blake describes a church service where Jesus is personally ministering to each person in the congregation but some are ignoring Him and just looking around bored. Blake says that Jesus doesn’t look angry or disappointed; He’s just standing next to them waiting for an opportunity to be welcomed. That simple detail spoke volumes to me! It spoke of the humility and love of Jesus that is beyond compare!

Another time Blake has a vision of a sea of demons being fought by a man. The man has a sword of blue flames that he wields with stunning effect against a massive tidal wave of demonic forces but he is outnumbered…until…he holds hands with a robed woman with a staff who represents the Holy Spirit. Together, they perform a lethally elegant dance-duel that annihilates the horde with beams of blinding white light. A beautiful and powerful representation of what can happen when we partner with the Holy Spirit.

I love how God captures our imagination. These visions are of course just pictorial representations of a spiritual reality but they communicate a reality nonetheless. And that is the point; this is THE reality. There were some angels that Blake recounts when he looked into their eyes he knew this was a creature that had seen the THE ALMIGHTY CREATOR OF HEAVEN AND EARTH. He couldn’t look into his eyes for long without feeling completely unworthy.

The implications of a God that is completely unchallenged in authority and power and at the same time absolutely committed to having an intimate relationship with us is this – the battles we face are 99% in our minds and it is a battle for identity. And this is where the demonic realm has a field day. Think about it, He loves us unconditionally and He has all power. So what can really harm us or stop us? Nothing? Except… the lies of the enemy that we believe. Lies like, “Nobody loves me.” “I’ve done too many sinful things for God or anyone else to love me.” “I am a failure.”

These are all lies (and many more) that the enemy uses to get us to have more faith in him than God. Blake says, “Fear is faith in the enemy.” Because when we believe that the enemy has power over us or that we are not loved, we are in effect saying that we do not believe what God says. We are believing something else….

The Father says that He loves us so much that He sent His Son to die so that He could adopt us as sons and daughters! The Son says that He loves us so much that He gladly went to the cross to make us his sisters and brothers! The Spirit comes and dwells in us testifying of the love of the Father for us every moment! Either we are daughters and sons of God or not? Who will you believe?

Joyfully,

Copyright 2018, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.

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The Fire Series – Celebrate Life!

So, these days I have been enjoying a season where God has been inviting me to celebrate life; to live each day with thanksgiving and celebrating Him in every thing and every moment. So often we feel it is only holy or godly to refrain from enjoying things. Yes, sometimes there are seasons when we must discipline the flesh but that does not mean that earthly pleasures are bad. It always struck me that Jesus’ disciples did not fast because while Jesus was with them it was a time for celebration (eating and drinking) not fasting. Through the Holy Spirit, Jesus is with us always and yet some of us still feel guilty if we enjoy what this earthly life has to offer.

I think sometimes we forget that God created everything. He created pleasure. All earthly pleasures point to the ultimate pleasure we experience in God. They are a little taste of the divine. All creation reveals the Creator! The secret I have discovered in this season is to enjoy everything with thanksgiving and celebration to The One who gave all life and the fullness of the earth for our enjoyment.

In fact, it is this deep inner worship that should make us Christians enjoy this life more than anybody else! We should savour every meal with awe at a God who made such a myriad of tastes and sensations. Every bite and sip should be with praise! Our shared fellowship should be all the sweeter knowing the sacred temples with whom we dine – carriers of the divine spark! We should be having the best sex. Yes, I said sex. We of all people should be shouting, “Hallelujah!” and “Thank You Jesus!” for a God who created such an orgasmic union of husband and wife!

OK switching gears before I get stoned for heresy… Currently, I’m on a school trip with my daughter and her classmates. To save money, they put boys with male parents and girls with female parents, four to a room. I dreaded having to share a room with strangers, but I sucked it up to give my little girl an experience to remember.

What it meant though was that I had to find somewhere to spend my morning alone time with God. But He had already put things in place. I woke up early this morning and headed down to the beach. Not a soul was there as the first glimmers of sunrise peeked over the ocean horizon. The morning pelicans dived into the surf while the waves seemed to be running races to see who would reach the shore first creating a salty mist that filled the air . The entire setting spoke to me powerfully. “Celebrate life!” it said. This poem bubbled up in my soul:

All creation celebrates You Lord!

We were all created to sing Your praise!

Help me to exult You O God!

I do not want to be left out of this symphony of worship!

Help me to frolic with the waves.

Help me to shine with the sun.

Help me to sing and soar with the birds.

Help me to be still with You in the mist.

Help me to caress You with the breeze.

Help me to celebrate the Giver of Life!

Copyright 2018, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.

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Sermons and Dresses

Admittedly, I had but a passing interest in The Royal Wedding.  Until I heard a bit of the sermon of Bishop Michael Curry! I promptly searched for the sermon online and I couldn’t stop listening. The power of love captivated my attention! I was so excited about this message of love echoing around the world and touching lives suffering from severe love-deficit that when some colleagues started talking about the wedding I exclaimed, “Wasn’t that a powerful sermon!”.

I was shocked at the responses. Apparently, it was inappropriate, too long and disjointed. I am not usually one to be surprised by differing views but this one caught me off guard. So, what was the main highlight for these (mainly female) colleagues of mine; the dress. It was what they had stayed up late to see. They loved it!

Now, I don’t want to draw any inferences about my colleagues in particular because I am sure they are not alone. In fact, there are probably more than a few church goers for whom the much too short dress of Sister So-and-so seems more important than the message of Jesus Christ. (Just though I’d throw that out there to shake things up a bit. Ha ha!) I do, however, want us to think about our society as a whole and what we value. Do we value messages of love, kindness, compassion and selflessness? We talk about it but do our actions align?

Last night I fell asleep while reading in bed and my daughter came and took off my glasses, put my phone to charge and turned off the light. She had never done anything like that before. I was so proud of her and full of love for her and grateful for such beautiful children, all at the same time. I did make sure to thank her and express my appreciation for her thoughtfulness, but I couldn’t help but compare that with if she had come first in end-of-term exams, for example. For coming first in her class, she would be showered with rewards and recognition. Something is wrong somewhere.

What about at work? Has anyone ever received a positive appraisal because they were kind to their co-workers? But if we achieve all our targets at the expense of other people, are we rewarded? Many times, we are. Sometimes even publicly applauded.

Our values are skewed. And it’s no better in the church. If I were to judge from what most guys talk about and get excited about, the biggest religion in Trinidad is football. Most guys quicker identify as a Man-U fan than a Jesus fan. Keep it nice and superficial. Big man doh deal up with d touchy feely business.

So, I ask you what kind of world do you want to leave for generations to come? Do you want more love in this world? Is it time to re-look our value system? If you haven’t seen Bishop Curry’s sermon, you can watch it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5gonlKodrmk and tell me what you think; which was better; the sermon or the dress?

Joyfully,

Copyright 2018, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.

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The Ladder of Inference

The biggest determining factor of the quality of our relationships is the quality of our communication. And the quality of our relationships greatly influences the quality of our life. In fact, some say that the quality of our relationships is the quality of our life.

Therefore, I would argue that communication is the most important skill for life. In that vein, I would like to share with you a model for how we process data. The model is called The Ladder of Inference (shown below).

The ladder has seven steps (starting at the bottom rung):

  1. Observable data and experiences. These are the raw facts that we hear and see. Let’s use an example: Last week Friday I told my friend Jim that I found it unfair that when we go out he never pays for anything. I played football with Jim on Monday and we talked briefly on the phone on Tuesday. I see him in the mall on Thursday and he passes me straight without saying hello and he looks angry. That’s the data.
  2. Select data. This is the data that we choose to designate as important while ignoring the rest. In this example I select the fact that I told Jim about his cheap ways and now he passes me straight and he looks angry. I completely ignore the other two times that I interacted with Jim.
  3. Add meaning. At this stage we interpret the data and add some meaning to it based on our personal and cultural values. So now I conclude that Jim must be angry with me because he passed me straight. I add this meaning because that’s what I would do if I was angry at someone (personal) and because in my culture to not acknowledge someone you know is an affront.
  4. Make assumptions. Now I make the assumption that Jim is angry at me because I reproached him about his cheapskate behaviour.
  5. Draw conclusions. At this stage we come to some grand theory. I conclude that Jim has only been using me to get free drinks all along. He was never really my friend.
  6. Adopt beliefs. This high up on the inference ladder, my conclusions based on this situation become firmly held beliefs – People will use you for your money if you let them. All people are interested in is what they can get from you.
  7. Take action. At the top of the ladder I act based on my beliefs. I treat everyone with scepticism and distrust and don’t buy drinks for anyone unless they buy for me first.

What actually happened was that Jim had just heard that a thief had broken into his house, so he was angry and hurrying home to appraise the situation. His mind was so preoccupied that he did not even see me even though I walked right past him.

The steps taken up the inference ladder in this example sound crazy given the reality, right? But this is what we do all the time. The most insidious thing about the ladder of inference is that our beliefs dictate the data we select next time. We are biased to ‘seeing’ only what we already believe. The good news is that we can counteract this cycle with three simple habits:

  1. Be aware of our thought process. Ask yourself, “Is this a fact or an assumption? Am I making a fair conclusion here? Is there something I could be missing? Am I 100% sure that I have all the information?”
  2. Be open and transparent about your thought process. Let people know what you are thinking. Chances are they can fill in some missing context.
  3. Ask people about their thought processes. It’s highly likely everyone else is busy climbing up their inference ladder too. Pause and ask, “How did you come to that conclusion? Why did you say that? What’s your thought process? Why did you choose that course of action?”

Keeping the ladder of inference in mind (pun intended) has the potential to improve the quality of our communication drastically. Try it out and see the positive effects in your relationships!

Click the hyperlink to learn more about the ladder of inference.

Joyfully,

Copyright 2018, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.

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The Fire Series – Do Not Be Afraid!

The concept of the fear of God in the bible has been greatly misunderstood and miscommunicated. The result has been a reckless amount of fear-mongering, damnation and hellfire preaching that completely misses the heart of God for His people. To get an accurate understanding of the fear of God I wish to start by examining two scriptures:

Proverbs 9:10 (ESV)

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is insight.

1 John 4:18 (ESV)

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.

There is a contradiction here that we need to figure out. If God is love, and God loves us unconditionally, and we are commanded to love Him with all our heart and mind and soul and strength, then how does the ‘fear of the Lord’ fit into this?

The key to this conundrum, I propose, is that those two verses are talking about two different types of fear. 1 John 4:18 is talking about the fear of punishment. This type of fear is not what God wants us to have, especially for Him! However, this has been a significant part of our Christian teachings. In one form or another I am sure most of us have suffered under the weight of a notion that God is waiting to punish us for every sin we commit. This is absolutely not true my friends! This is a lie that the enemy has planted in the church to keep us from running into the arms of our merciful Saviour.

There are thousands, if not millions, of people who would be in church or coming to God right now but for the fact that they are afraid of Him! They are afraid of the wrath of God; a belief that they have been sold by well-meaning but ignorant pastors, priests and believers. This fear has no place in the perfected Body of Christ. Perfect love casts out fear!

What is the fear of God then? The Proverbs 9:10 type of fear is much better translated ‘reverence’ or ‘awe’. To illustrate:

Hebrews 5:7

(NKJV)

7 who, in the days of His flesh, when He had offered up prayers and supplications, with vehement cries and tears to Him who was able to save Him from death, and was heard because of His godly fear

(ESV)

7 In the days of his flesh, Jesus offered up prayers and supplications, with loud cries and tears, to him who was able to save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverence.

The New King James Version uses the phrase ‘godly fear’ to try to distinguish this type of fear but the word ‘godly’ is not in the original Greek. The same word used in Hebrews 12:28:

(NKJV)

28 Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom which cannot be shaken, let us have grace, by which we may serve God acceptably with reverence and godly fear.

(ESV):

28 Therefore let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, and thus let us offer to God acceptable worship, with reverence and awe,

While the translators in the NKJV try to achieve a better understanding in the minds of the reader by using the qualifier ‘godly’, the ESV translators do away with the potentially misunderstood word ‘fear’ entirely and use instead the word ‘awe’.

You see godly fear or fear of God is not a fear of punishment but an absolute reverence and awe of God. This reverence is an acknowledgement with every fiber of our being that He is BIG and we are small. It is an awe at the complete sovereignty and omniscience of God. The beginning of wisdom is knowing that compared to an all-knowing God we know nothing!

Paradoxically, the most jaw-dropping quality of this God we serve is that He wants to have a relationship with us; us mere created things; us sinners. And so, true fear of God actually draws us closer to Him in adoration and gratitude. It is our Adamic nature that causes us to run from God just as Adam tried to hide in the garden as man felt shame for the first time in human history. Whenever this Adamic fear threatens us, know that God is saying, “Do not be afraid.” It is a command that is repeated over and over in the bible. “Do not be afraid. Do not be afraid. Do not be afraid!”

Joyfully,

Copyright 2018, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.

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Ole Talk

Stephen Covey said, “You can’t talk yourself out of something you behaved yourself into.” It is one of those leadership principles that is so deceptively simple that the full power of it can easily be overlooked. So many times, as leaders (at home and at work) we fail to grasp how what we are saying is being undermined by what we are doing. So deep is our self-deception sometimes that we are genuinely surprised when our followers are not motivated or engaged or buying into whatever we are trying to sell.

It’s like if I tell my children, “I will give you licks (a spanking) if you do that one more time.” It barely has any effect because they have not seen the behaviour to back up my ‘ole talk’. My lack of disciplinary enforcement is the behaviour that needs to change before my words have any weight.

The same happens at the office… Two common examples of messages that are hardly ever ‘heard’ unless the behaviour to back it up is first evidenced are:

  • We care about staff
  • We are implementing a new…..

So many leaders are living in a dream world where caring means nicely worded all-staff communiques and slogans and presentations. The one truth about caring is that it must be felt and felt personally. Caring can only be communicated by action in the context of one on one interaction. The caring organization only exists insofar as the people at the top are truly caring for person X and person Y and person Z. Even if you implement a policy that is beneficial to all employees it will not move the dial much unless the staff experience it in how it is applied to them personally by their bosses.

An example of caring that I remember well is when many years ago I was feeling very ill and throwing up at work and my boss told his secretary to drive me home in his car. See what I mean!  Personal, sincere behaviour. You can’t talk your way out of uncaring behaviour.

The other bug bear is the rolling out of a new anything if the management has a history of no sustainable follow through. No matter how fancy the launch or how sincere you sound this time, everybody knows it won’t last. The initiative is practically doomed to fail from the start because nobody is really going to bother much with it, confident in the knowledge that it won’t be around for long.

We should always count the cost of change. If it is a real change, it will cost something, and we have to be willing to back up our talk with the tough decisions. Our people know who we really are. If we are risk averse, they know the new entrepreneurial business idea will grind to a halt the first time that we have to stick our necks out and take some risk. If we are cheap, they know that upgrading to a 21st century IT system is not going to happen. We can’t talk louder than who we are.

Therefore, leadership is at the most fundamental level about self-development and personal transformation. Who we are being at home and at work dictates the efficacy of our leadership. If we want change in our families, places of worship and workplaces it literally begins with the change we are willing to make in ourselves.

Joyfully,

Copyright 2018, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.

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The Fire Series – Can God Use A Cold Christian?

The answer is YES! Let me show you how!

Rev 3:15-19:

15 “‘I know your works: you are neither cold nor hot. Would that you were either cold or hot! 16 So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth. 17 For you say, I am rich, I have prospered, and I need nothing, not realizing that you are wretched, pitiable, poor, blind, and naked. 18 I counsel you to buy from me gold refined by fire, so that you may be rich, and white garments so that you may clothe yourself and the shame of your nakedness may not be seen, and salve to anoint your eyes, so that you may see. 19 Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline, so be zealous and repent.

This is a well-known verse and what is usually emphasized is that we need to be blazing hot for Jesus or that we need to avoid being lukewarm! What is usually understood is that lukewarm isn’t good enough, we need to be on fire! This automatically means that if we are cold we are not even in the race. Cold is definitely NOT where we want to be, we think! But let’s look at the passage again.

It says that God wishes that we were either cold or hot. In other words, hot is good and cold is good, it’s lukewarm that’s the issue. The analogy is to a drink. It’s either a hot cup of coffee or a cold glass of juice. Lukewarm coffee or juice? Yuck! Spit that out!

You see, Jesus is getting at the heart condition of the church. Hot or cold refers to a people that know the condition of their heart and cry out to God accordingly. The lukewarm people are pretenders, pretending that everything is fine, pretending to be righteous. They are ‘too blessed to be stressed’ and are busy putting on a self-righteous show of the perfect Christian life. They say, “I am rich, I have prospered, and I need nothing” when in fact they are “wretched, pitiable, poor, blind and naked.” God can’t help self-righteous pretenders and if He can’t help them, He can’t use them.

The cold Christian on the other hand knows the condition of his heart and falls on his face before God asking for repentance daily. God loves cold Christians! These meek Christians diligently seek Christ wherein is their treasure, righteousness and healing (gold, white garments, salve)!

So, if you feel a bit cold today, don’t worry, God can handle cold. Don’t be too proud to confess your doubts and fears and failures. Don’t worry about what people will think of you or say about you.  Of what account is man! Cry out to your God! He longs to hear your genuine heart cries! There is NOTHING that is beyond His love if you keep it real with Him. I’ve seen Him take my bereft and broken moments and make them beautiful over and over again!

Joyfully,

Copyright 2018, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.

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Rebels And Sycophants, Tyrants and Nice Guys

A major part of life on this planet is about how we relate to authority and how we carry authority. Our relationship with authority starts almost the moment we take our first breath. First our parents, then teachers, then bosses. Eventually, we may ourselves be in positions of authority.

To explore how we deal with authority, I have chosen four stereotypes for discussion:

  • The rebel
  • The sycophant
  • The tyrant
  • The nice guy

The rebel’s response to authority is an obstructionist one. The rebel does not like being told what to do. His strategy can range from complete insubordination to subtle undermining. He is the child who does the exact opposite of what he is told to do by his parents who are frequently called into the school on account of his misbehaviour. At work he is that trouble worker that is every boss’ nightmare. The union is his best friend and he takes every opportunity to discredit his supervisor/manager.

The sycophant on the other hand lives to please her parent or teacher or boss. She loves to be the favourite daughter or the favourite student. She fetches coffee for her boss without being asked, is lavish with her compliments and bends over backwards to meet every demand. She uses every means necessary to remain in favour with her upper line including hiding unfavourable facts. Her priority is to stay in the good books.

The tyrant is the boss that uses her authority to reinforce her own authority or the bully in school. She delights in the ability to bend others to her will. For her, authority is a tool for domination and control. The tyrant enjoys making others lives miserable by making unreasonable demands and setting impossible targets. The only consideration in the tyrant decision-making is what is favourable for herself.

The nice guy cannot bear the thought of not being liked by his children or his staff. He avoids uncomfortable discussions about poor performance and can only take disciplinary action behind the curtains of a higher-level order or clear policy infraction that forces his hand. At home, he is the parent that refers the tough decisions to his wife and spoils them behind her back.

Of course, these are caricatures of traits that may exist in smaller measures or varying combinations. For example, a tyrant boss can often be a sycophant with his boss. The question is, “What is a healthy, balanced way of relating to authority and carrying authority?” The rule I find useful in this regard and the standard to which I aspire (I do not always succeed) is to do the most good for the most number of people.

I believe that if we took this attitude when relating to those in authority over us, we would strike a happy balance between seeking our boss’ goodwill while doing all in our power to seek the best for others as well. That could mean at times standing up to our boss or refusing an instruction or bringing information to light that she may not want to hear or that casts ourselves in a bad light.

Likewise, in discharging our responsibilities as those in authority we would not seek to do harm to our staff or to pander to them. Our focus would be to help them to succeed yet not pander to them in ways that could bring harm to others or the company (all employees).

The same philosophy can be applied to parenting. We seek the highest good of our children which can mean praise or discipline as required. We also seek to parent in such a way as to produce adults that contribute to the highest good of society. One can easily see how producing self-centred or undisciplined children contravene that aim.

Let us seek to do the highest good to the most number of people in all that we do.

Joyfully,

Copyright 2018, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.

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Performance Pressure

Next month my 12-year-old daughter writes the big SEA exam for entrance into secondary school. My 16-year-old son will also write his O’Level exams around the same time. Meanwhile, at work we have been having conversations about setting more challenging goals and cultivating a high-performance culture. These days, it is more evident to me than ever before how deeply this performance culture permeates our society.

There are side-effects to this culture that reminds me of those ads for some new wonder drug that promises to change your life, but possible side effects include drowsiness, depression, nausea, dizziness and erectile dysfunction. You begin to wonder if the drug is worth it right?

Some of the side effects of a performance culture that I have observed are:

  1. Unhealthy comparison/competition
  2. Confusing ability to perform with self-worth
  3. Fear of failure

Unhealthy comparison/competition

I have children with different natural abilities and talents. One may be great at math while another may have great physical agility. One may have a superior command of the English language, while another may be good at arts and craft. I see my role as a father as facilitating the emergence of the best in each of them based on their individual potential (not their performance compared to others).

Unavoidably, that means unequal treatment. To illustrate: If I have one child who is a natural math genius and they get 95% in an exam and another who struggles with math and they get 65% in an exam, I would reward them equally. What the performance culture does is sets up a way of thinking that encourages comparison against others rather than against your own potential. So, the child who gets 95% may feel unfairly treated because he/she did much better than the other one. But that’s ok. Far worse is the child that is always held to the standards of his/her sibling. It can leave awful scars.

In business, the negative behaviours that this type of thinking often breed is unhealthy competition between peers or departments. Unhealthy meaning that individual or departmental success is prioritized above the company’s overall success. Once I meet my targets that’s all that matters!

Confusing ability to perform with self-worth

This is one that I’m particularly watchful for any signs of in my children. Too often failing to pass an exam or win a match is interpreted as a reflection on personal self-worth. It needs to be said that the top students and top athletes are not necessarily better people! So often we write-off people because they don’t have the credentials or track-record that we think is important. There are so many valuable attributes that are not generally measured!

Failing an exam does not make you a failure. Not meeting your goals does not make you a failure. The human being is more than the narrow band that society focuses on. The same culture is also in the church by the way, the indicators are just different. The church measurables are: How long do you pray? How many times do you attend church? How well do you know the bible? How long have you been married? How long have you been serving the Lord? Are your children serving the Lord? Thankfully, God does not measure us that way. We are all The Father’s children and we were all worthy enough that Jesus died for us, every one!

Fear of failure

In a paradoxical way, this high-performance culture ensures mediocrity. If you know that your boss is going to measure you by what you say you are going to achieve, then you are not going to set any outrageous goals. But don’t we want people to go after the unattainable, the outrageous? Sure we do, but we are never going to get that unless it is ok to fail.

The other way we insure against failure is by taking as few risks as possible. We are constantly taking the safest road possible because we know that we will be severally penalized for failure. The culture keeps our focus on the wrong thing; on what could go wrong, instead of what could go right!

This happens at home too. Do we parents support our children when they come with some outrageous pie-in-the-sky dream? Sometimes we stifle our children by making them play it safe. Go to school and become a doctor or a lawyer. Drop out and start a business making earrings? Don’t be crazy! However, some of our most celebrated business leaders today started out as college drop-outs with crazy ideas.

In summary, here’s my philosophy of life in answer to this prevailing culture:

  1. The only person I’m in competition with is myself. I challenge myself to grow continuously and become all that God wants me to become. I don’t want to leave unfulfilled potential on the table.
  2. I don’t have to succeed at the expense of your failure. We can all succeed together. I believe in win-win. I believe we can all be exceptional!
  3. I believe every single person is highly valuable not because of anything they have done or not done but because they were created by God. Every person has something valuable that they can add to my life and if I don’t see it, it just means I’m not looking hard enough.
  4. Failure is an opportunity to learn! I am not defined by my failures. I am not afraid of failure. I am afraid of not living life to the fullest!

Joyfully,

Copyright 2018, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.

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Granny

Today is granny’s birthday. She is gone now. None of my grandparents are alive. Granny is the only one I miss though. I often ponder why that is. She was not the one who did the most things for me. That would be grampa. He bought me my first bicycle. He made sure I got braces. He took me to get my driver’s permit. He took me for my first hot dog and milkshake and taught me to swim in Macqueripe.

My cousins and I all fight over who was granny’s favourite. It’s really no contest though; I am the eldest and clearly her favourite long before the rest arrived. 🙂 I was her tomato. But it goes to show how she made each of us feel special. We all knew that granny loved us personally. Not a generic, ‘I love my grandchildren’, kinda love but a personal appreciation and care for each individual.

No matter what, I knew that granny believed in me. It was the little things she would say, “Matik I always admired how you handled your divorce. Things didn’t work out but you made sure that XXX was well taken care of.” Or, “Mats you have a good heart and the Lord knows that.” Or if she knew I was going through a rough patch, “You gotta roll with the punches Mats.”

She worried about every one of her grandchildren and wanted to know the details of everything that was going on in our lives. I remember when I started going out at night as a teenager, no matter what time I got home, granny was up at the dining room table reading until she was sure that I had made it home safely.

Granny was special. In the weeks before she passed away, I went to visit her and some of her last words to me were, “Thank you Matik.”

“For what granny?”

“For being you.”

Thank you for being you, granny. You are my hero. I miss you but I know that you are still in my corner.

PS: I know you love flowers. These are for you.

Joyful tears,

Copyright 2018, Matik Nicholls. All rights reserved.