fbpx

Tag: #authenticjoy

Posted on

Wonder Quotient

On a scale of 1 to 10, what’s your WQ? How often do you experience awe? How often do you feel that indescribable feeling of being in the presence of something that transcends your understanding? I believe that people with a high WQ are more fulfilled than those with a low WQ.

What fills us with wonder can be unique to each of us. For my mom, observing her children brought wonder. I experience wonder during worship or communing with nature while sitting on my surfboard out in the ocean or sitting under a waterfall or simply watching the sun rise. Some days just thinking about who God has been to me swells my heart with awe. Whatever it is for you, nurture it.

Our soul longs to feel awed; to feel humbled by something bigger than ourselves. It could be the sheer grandeur of the universe or the unconditional love of a child. The thing is, every moment is a miracle if we open our eyes to see it. Some people only experience this awakening through a near death experience but it doesn’t have to be that way. You can right-size your life right now. Choose not to take your next breath for granted. Breathe deeply, laugh loudly, sing, skip, run, jump, smell, feel. Exult in the amazing life coursing through your body.

And guess what, according to research there is a surprising side-effect….. kindness. Strangely enough, there is something about viewing the Grand Canyon that brings out our inner altruist. Maybe it is the inkling that there is something bigger at play here that connects us all at a deeply fundamental level? Whatever it is, the positive effects are very real. You can read more about it here: https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/why_do_we_feel_awe

So, I encourage you to see the amazing around you. The person that smiles with their eyes. The couple that are truly in love. The worshipper with eyes closed. The serene miracle of a sleeping child. The mountains full of Poui trees in bloom. The orange and yellow kaleidoscope of autumn. The vastness of the ocean. The sunset painted sky. Who invented such things? All we can do is open our hearts to wonder and celebrate and be grateful.

Open your eyes to the wonder. Make it a daily habit and let your heart fill with kindness and joy.

Joyfully,

Copyright 2017, Matik Nicholls

Posted on

No Regrets?

So, I’m trying my hand at writing a book. The story draws heavily from my life experiences, forcing me to think a lot about my past. This week my mind was on my separation from my first wife. Particularly, the day that I came to visit my son after having moved out a few days before. He was a year and a half old and it was the first time that I ever saw him looking sad.

His mom explained that he had gone from room to room repeating, “Where you daddy? Where you daddy?”. The image broke my heart in a million pieces. He is sixteen years old now and a lump still forms in my throat every time I think about it. How could I have done that to that little boy? In those dark days, my only tearful prayers were, “Lord, pleeeaase let him know how much I love him.”

I have often heard people say that they have no regrets. I’ve always wondered what they mean because I definitely have regrets. I regret what my son had to go through. If I had a do-over I probably would have made the same decision from that point but there are many earlier things that I would have done differently if I knew then what I know now (getting married at twenty-three for starters). But the thing is, I can’t change the past so what can I do?

I don’t know where I heard it, but someone once said that your approach to the past should be like driving a car. You need to look in your rear-view mirror (the past) regularly. It helps you to learn from mistakes, to get perspective, to notice trends in your behaviour but you can’t drive with your eyes glued to the rear-view mirror. The much bigger focus is the view of the present and the future through the windscreen in front of you.

If I had let my mistakes dominate my thoughts (kept my eyes glued to the rear-view mirror) I would certainly have sunk into depression (crashed). But the thing is, had I done that, I would have missed the thousands of happy memories I created with my son since then. Moments like this one:

The car of life doesn’t stop moving, and if you are not looking at where you are going then you will crash. If I kept my eyes on the past, I would have lost every opportunity to create a successful future.

To successfully navigate life, you have to respond to things as they come at you; change direction, change gears, mash brakes, accelerate. The past quickly becomes irrelevant except as a learning opportunity. The same is true of past successes by the way. Many times, we can be crashing even as our eyes are glued to the glory days that once were.

For me that image of my son searching for his daddy still weighs heavy but when self-condemnation tries to take root I wrest my eyes off the past and look up. I remind myself that where there is Life, there is hope and that while I’m looking back, opportunities to create a different past are slipping by every second.

I don’t know if there is anybody else with regrets like me but if there are people out there who have made mistakes I want to encourage you not to focus on that rear-view mirror too much. Look up, there just might be joy up ahead.

Joyfully,

Copyright 2017, Matik Nicholls

Posted on

What I Learned From Baywatch

 

If you weren’t around in the 90s this title may be completely lost on you. Suffice to say, Baywatch was a tv series about lifeguards in Los Angeles, USA. Amazingly, there is something from that show that made a bigger impact on me than Pamela Anderson in a bathing suit. It is this: Don’t drown with a drowning victim. Save yourself first!

The truth is that the lifeguard is the victim’s only hope for survival, so if the lifeguard puts herself in danger she is really sacrificing two lives. Another analogy is the oxygen mask on an airplane. The safety briefing says to put on your mask first before assisting others. Same principle.

We tend to think of sacrificing our own needs for those that we love or for career pursuits as a noble quality and by and large it is, but there comes a point at which we sacrifice too much.  You see, neglecting yourself means that you are reducing the quality of your work and the quality of care for those around you. This is even more pertinent when it comes to people that depend on us. So often we do less and less of what makes us healthy, whole and passionate for the sake of our children’s success but we do not consider that the biggest contributor to our children’s success is us! Are they seeing the model of a passionate, interesting, whole, balanced and alive person? Are we on a slippery slope to burnout?

Now I want to get real practical here and describe what this means for me in detail, so you get an idea of how this works in practice:

  • Every weekday I get up early before the children are awake and take time to spend with God. I pray (which could be silent meditation or more energetic or singing depending on how I feel) and/or I read my bible. This quiet time is my spiritual renewal. It’s sacred. This time is protected simply because no one else will get up at that hour and if they do (as has happened a handful of times), I simply say, “Daddy is praying. You can stay if you are quiet or go back to bed.” This habit was very hard to form. I had to get a friend to help me to wake up early and keep me accountable until my body clock was ‘locked in’. This start to my day is the most important ritual that I have. It directly influences the energy that I bring to my interactions and life challenges. If I neglect my mornings with God I can get snappy and easily discouraged.
  • Every Wednesday and Saturday morning I go for a run and the other weekdays I do a small morning workout. These are the habits that keep me physically fit and feeling good. I don’t have the time to go to the gym or to invest in looking buff, so this is just to keep me healthy. The morning workout is very simple, basically what I can do consistently:
    • 100 jumping jacks
    • 8 pull ups
    • 40 sit ups
    • 40 dips
    • 20 push ups

I know, it’s pitiful, but anything grander takes too long and is too daunting too be consistent. The runs are usually 5km on Wednesday and 8-10km on Saturdays. On Wednesdays I’ve arranged for my parents to drop the kids to school and Friday nights their mom or my parents keep the kids for the night so that I can get out at the crack of dawn the next day for my run. Things will try to encroach on this time. The kids might want to stay home or have a morning activity, but I do not budge. This is my time. Daddies need exercise too. The discipline of running also strengthens my will and mental endurance.

  • I don’t work late or on weekends unless it’s an emergency.
  • Every Sunday I go to church. The most valuable thing about this ritual for me is the worship. Singing at the top of my lungs in praise to my God with a group of other Jesus enthusiasts lifts my spirit and renews my soul like nothing else.
  • At least every other Sunday I play football with my friends. This is my favourite form of exercise. Whereas, I run because I have to do something to stay fit, I would rather play football every day if I could. I feel great after a run but I do not get excited about going for a run.
  • Every month or so I have some social time with friends. It could be a date. It could be hanging out with a group. Sometimes I take a whole day off just to go to the beach with a friend and do nothing but laugh and play and sleep.

My current battle is getting enough sleep. The goal is to be asleep by 10pm, to get 7 hours sleep. The problem is getting the children to sleep on time, ironing their school clothes for the next morning and then not getting side-tracked. It’s a challenge.

On a more ad-hoc basis I get in some hiking, surfing or mountain-biking which I’m trying to make a more regular thing as being immersed in nature is very restorative for me on many levels. I also would like to have an annual vacation/retreat by myself. I started this last year after I realized I was crashing and burning and it was fantastic. I also highly recommend a weekly habit of doing something you love. Yoga, dance, an academic pursuit, gardening, reading, art… whatever… keep your passions alive.

So, my friends, sorry for the length of this one but I hope it has been helpful. I encourage you to have a concrete plan to invest in yourself on all levels. It’s not being selfish. A better you is better for everyone!

Joyfully,

Copyright 2017, Matik Nicholls

Posted on

Downpour

“CRAAAAACK!” It sounded like the heavens rent as the clouds vomited their payload in a violent deluge. Everyone sitting under the shed seemed to draw their limbs closer to themselves as the landscape suddenly became a waterscape.

I closed my eyes, to tune into the sound and the feel of the misty gusts on my skin. I love the sound of rain on galvanized roofing. It reminds me of stormy childhood nights cosy in my double-decker, up close to the roof. My home had no ceiling, so you could hear every drop overhead. Even now I began to snooze while I waited to see my daughter’s teacher.

I awoke from my reverie and surveyed the scene with fresh eyes. In the paved area next door, the gigantic drops formed mini-volcanoes with every splash into the pools forming everywhere. Soon the aqua-armies formed into squadrons racing urgently to drains and runoffs. Meanwhile, in the school-yard where hundreds of feet at play had worn the would-be lawn to a brown patch of bare earth sparsely littered with tufts of grass, the rain quickly saturated the compact earth and began to form brown pools of mud.

Next door there was also a well-manicured piece of lawn and on that piece of real-estate things were quite different. Every drop of rain disappeared into the greenery. The lush grass seemed to have an infinite capacity to soak up the rain like a living carpet of sponge.

Still in my zen-place, I began to think how the contrasting landscapes resemble our lives at different phases. There are times in our lives when there is a downpour. It could be an outpouring of job opportunities or maybe as we say in T&T “Yuh in season,” meaning a number of members of the opposite sex are all-of-a-sudden interested in you. It could be that we are experiencing a run of sequential successes as an athlete or performer. Whatever it is, it’s coming hard and fast and the state of our lives will determine how we handle the deluge.

If we are hard and inflexible. If we cannot see the opportunity in the out of the ordinary project thrown at us at work. If we don’t even see the person smiling at us because they are wrapped in a package that does not fit our criteria. If our hearts are closed to love. If the opportunities don’t come at us exactly the way we expect. Then they run-off of our lives like that paved courtyard. We cannot receive the gifts sent from heaven.

If we have been rundown by life, we are quickly overwhelmed. It’s too much for our barren life. Barren of a support system to pull on or maybe lacking a healthy lifestyle we quickly burn out. Maybe past relationship failures have made us emotionally destitute. Maybe we have abandoned habits of spiritual renewal. Unhealthy lifestyles quickly become a muddy pool where opportunities choke and stall.

But the life that is already thriving capitalizes on the rains of opportunity. The life that is already green with healthy relationships and physical, emotional, mental and spiritual health can soak up the downpour.

Every investment in a healthy life (on all levels) today reaps unknown benefits tomorrow. Prepare for the downpour now. Who knows when it will come but when it does, how glorious it will be if you can soak it all up and grow exponentially into the joyful life that awaits.

Joyfully,

Copyright 2017, Matik Nicholls.

Posted on

The Challenge Trophy

Yesterday was the graduation ceremony for the Millennium Bible Institute class of 2017. I graduated with a certificate in Practical Theology and I was the class valedictorian, for which I received a challenge trophy. I chuckled to myself at the phrase ‘challenge trophy’ because, as I was introduced to give the valedictory address and then to receive the trophy, I was introduced as the student who challenged everything. It was no exaggeration.

Groupthink is defined as a psychological phenomenon that occurs within a group of people in which the desire for harmony or conformity in the group results in an irrational or dysfunctional decision-making outcome. Group members try to minimize conflict and reach a consensus decision without critical evaluation of alternative viewpoints by actively suppressing dissenting viewpoints, and by isolating themselves from outside influences.

I have seen the treacherous nature of this phenomenon at work in the business place and in the church. Leadership plays a critical role in guarding against groupthink by maintaining a healthy environment which fosters sound decision-making outcomes. Critical to this is how leaders handle challenges to their ideas. If a leader handles a challenge without getting defensive but welcomes alternative viewpoints then people will know that it is safe to share their ideas, suggestions and feedback.

However, if a leader victimizes or bullies those who oppose his views then people will quickly learn to just follow orders and leave their brains at the door. This leads to a plethora of unhealthy outcomes. Leadership will have a distorted view of reality, there will be a poverty of rigorous thinking and creativity, a culture that fosters blame and sabotage will be created, and faulty decisions will result. The final outcome will be failed businesses and failed churches.

Early on in my career and later on in my church life I learned the value of challenging ideas. I realized that the phenomenon of groupthink was widespread, and I determined to be an outspoken, independent thinker. I challenged anybody and anything without fear or favour, not to be rebellious but because I genuinely wanted what was best for the organization and for the church. Some did not respond well to being challenged and others welcomed it.

Great leaders welcome differing views and I was fortunate enough to have a few pivotal leaders in my life who encouraged me to share my views. David Jardim, my boss when I worked at Tracmac Engineering (now Massy CAT), told me not to be a ‘shrinking violet’. Unknown to him it was something God was working on in me at the time and his words had a great effect on how I viewed myself and my contribution from then on. He started the ball rolling and it hasn’t stopped since.

Many years later I had the privilege of reporting to Eugene Tiah at Phoenix Park Gas Processors Ltd. and he was a firm believer in getting everybody’s views no matter what they were. His humility is exceedingly rare in the business world and his leadership has had a great impact on my life. Most recently I have found a rare gem in my pastor, Edward Phillips, who was also my lecturer at bible school. He too, encouraged me to challenge the status quo. “Those who challenge things,” he says, “are the ones who go on to become great scholars.”

These thoughts rolled around in my head as the graduation ceremony proceeded yesterday and I gave God thanks for placing these men in my life at the right moments to allow me to be me and to grow and to mature. I hope that I will be also be a leader like them who allows those around me to be forthright and creative and bring all that they have to contribute to the success of the wider community.

Joyfully,

Copyright 2017, Matik Nicholls.

Posted on

From Basingstoke WIth Love

As I sat down with mummy on the eight-hour flight heading back to Trinidad, I was reflecting on our time spent with dear friends in Basingstoke, U.K. It was the kind of trip that is best described in photographs and poetry:

When venturing to new places afar,

Especially on a mission with your mama,

You imagine the adventures that await.

But when your eye beholds the place,

And feet step to undiscovered space,

Only then the fullness breaks on open hearts.

The windows that open unto apple trees in the orchard,

And the windows that open unto mango trees in the yard,

Let in the same light that refreshes thirsty souls.

The moor hen moans by the lake.

The kiskidee call; as its namesake.

Both sing the same hymn of praise.

“Which way do you think we go now mummy?”

People bustled by as she studied the map intently.

“South to Waterloo!” brought a victorious smile on both faces.

Port and tea around a crackling fireplace at night.

Ox cheeks, grouse, hash and cod set tummies right,

And stories, jokes, open hearts and twinkling eyes shone through.

Bubbling brooks, dandelions, oaks and deer.

Enid Blyton’s storybook scenes all there.

Somehow carried a familiar tune far away from home.

But it was the same mischievous smiling eyes and dreams and plans,

And the common humanity; Clarke-Samlal, Philip-Nicholls clans,

That pealed like church bells over the meadows of Basingstoke with love.

Copyright 2017, Matik Nicholls

Posted on

What’s Your Story?

“Nicholls! What did I just say?” My Geography teacher had caught me talking to my friend. My mind raced. My subconscious had recorded what he was explaining on the board but I was not confident that I had heard it right so in the end I said, “I don’t know, Sir.” “Stand up!” I stood as he approached me. He began to draw lines on my face with his chalk. “I wonder why you don’t know.” I fought back tears as he continued to decorate on my face….

That was the day I decided that I would get top marks in Geography. I don’t know why I responded to that incident that way but I was determined that that teacher was not going to keep me down. I did not tell my parents about it. I just fought back the only way I knew how. One day I would be more successful than him and nothing could shake my resolve.

I’m currently reading the book Discover Your True North – Becoming an Authentic Leader by Bill George (which I highly recommend by the way) and he talks about the fact that your life story defines your leadership. “The journey to authentic leadership begins with understanding yourself..” he says. He goes on to talk about how we all have varied and unique life experiences which shape us and many of the leaders he interviewed for the book were defined more by their negative experiences than their positive ones.

As I turned the pages of my book, my encounter with my Geography teacher came flooding back to me. I never really considered how much that moment defined me. It would be the template I would use for dealing with unfair circumstances for years to come. Two major character traits solidified:

  1. Independence – I deal with things on my own. I hate asking for help. I handle my stories as I like to say and if you think that you can hold me to ransom by withholding some form of support or assistance, you are sorely mistaken. This is sometimes a useful trait and sometimes a destructive one. Later on in life other experiences would bring some balance. I would mature from independence to interdependence but my natural bent is still towards independence.
  2. High Self Worth – I know my value and how you treat me is a reflection of you not me. Discrimination does not phase me. As the Obamas say, “When they go low, we go high.” Some people just don’t know any better. I feel sorry for them. I don’t waste my energy on them. I invest my energy in my success which is in the hands of God alone.

I’ve seen these traits at work over and over throughout my life story. The journey towards your authentic leadership and authentic joy begins with understanding yourself. We can never find joy trying to live other people’s stories or denying who we are. Embrace who you are. Find things to love about yourself and change the things that you don’t. But if you do change, change for you not for anyone else.

By that, I do not mean you never compromise. I mean if you do compromise, you do it because of who you want to be as a person. It cannot be a change forced upon you. It cannot be primarily to keep or get something or someone you want. It has to be because of who you want to be. All authentic and lasting change comes from the inside-out. Do not give authorship of your story to any man. That path will never lead to joy.

Joyfully,

Copyright 2017,  Matik Nicholls

 

Posted on

Mummy And Me

From a young age I was very independent. As a result, my parents and I were not really close in the sense that we did not discuss life issues or have regular ‘check-ups’ like I imagine other families might. My mother would always complain that my dad, my sister and I would eat dinner in front of the television instead of having family interaction. I think she yearned to be more involved in our life. I can hear her now, “You all only in front of that screen every night! No conversation!”

Then we all became born-again (Pentecostal Christians) except mummy and she felt even more alienated. There is this concept when you become a Pentecostal that your real family now becomes your Christian brothers and sisters. This is true up to a point as, of course, you want to relate with people who are as excited about Jesus as you are but sometimes we take it too far which is what I did in my early Christian years.

About three years later, at the tender age of twenty-three, I got married. Another concept that seemed part of my Pentecostal experience is the concept of ‘leave and cleave’ which means when you get married you should leave your parents and cleave to your spouse. Needless to say, the gulf between mummy and I widened. Then things changed. Five years later I was getting divorced and had left the church. Now I was on the other side and I suddenly understood what it was to be out with the out crowd.

The people who I thought were my Christian family became aloof and distant as I was now a sinner. I never knew what scorn felt like until then. It is that feeling when someone has no regard for you whatsoever. When your opinion or viewpoint has no value to the other person. On the other hand, my old friends welcomed me back and my mother was a pillar of support. Funny how life is.

That began a process of recalibration, particularly where my mother is concerned. I began to let her into my life. To treat her like her opinion matters to me because she matters to me. Through my mistakes and experiences, I slowly began to mature.

I began to understand that love is more important than ideology, much much more important. I learned that everybody can add value to your life despite differences in ideologies, arguably, the more divergent their view from yours the more valuable their viewpoint. I learned that when people make mistakes or deliberate decisions that are against the core ideologies of your faith, the job of real Christians is to love and support the person even if you don’t support the decision.

I cannot change my past mistakes but going forward I can try to be a better person. I try to improve how I treat the people in my life (actually, how I treat people in general).  I have also dedicated my life to fighting this rotten attitude in the church that threatens to undermine all that we stand for because, without love, we are nothing.

So, for the first time in my life, at the age of forty-four, I am taking my mother on a trip. Just she and I, spending a week together. A week to bond, to discover a new part of the planet together, to deepen our relationship and for me to say thanks for all that she has been in my life.

Don’t make my mistakes. Don’t wait until you are forty-four like me. I am thankful I still have the chance to do it now but our time with the ones we love is unknown. Life won’t get any less busy. Initially, I thought I did not have the time or the money but in the end, all that was stopping me was the will. Connect meaningfully with your loved ones today. It will bring you and them much joy!

Joyfully,

Copyright 2017, Matik Nicholls

Posted on

Leaders Are Not Born Or Taught, They Are Wrought

Incredibly, there are still ‘leaders’ out there who believe that leadership is about position, power and control. Even if they pretend to buy in to a more up-to-date leadership paradigm, their actions tell a different story.

What is even more disheartening for me is that this paradigm of the authoritarian, all-knowing leader is pervasive in the church. This boggles my mind given Jesus taught and exemplified the credo that the greatest is the servant of all.

The modern paradigm of leadership posits that leadership is not about power or personality and therefore anybody, at any level, anywhere can be a leader. I believe that leadership at its core is about three things:

  1. Character
  2. Purpose
  3. Service

Frequently, these qualities are uncovered through trials. The crucible of pain transforms the ordinary man or woman into a great leader if he or she yields to the process.

This is what Nelson Mandela and Malala have in common. Nelson Mandela spent 27 years in prison for his struggle against the apartheid system of South Africa. Yet, after his release Mandela emphasised reconciliation between the country’s racial groups.

Malala Yousafzai was shot in her head, neck and shoulder for speaking out against the atrocities of the Taliban in Pakistan. After recovery, she continued championing the cause for equal rights and education for girls.

In both of these stories, there is horrible injustice and persecution but amazingly the persecution does not make Mandela or Malala bitter or disillusioned. Instead they rise above and dedicate their lives to helping others who are suffering as they have suffered.

I used these examples because they are well known but this is not at all what makes them great leaders. There are countless others who we will never know about but their stars are no less luminous. In Trinidad and Tobago there is a great leader, Loverne Henry, who was gang raped while four months pregnant and two years later she created a foundation dedicated to providing mental, emotional and spiritual support for the recovery of victims of violent crimes. Truly Loverne Henry, the leader, was wrought in the burning fires of tragedy.

But what about you and me? Can we be leaders even though it is hardly likely that we will face the persecution and suffering of a Loverne or a Malala? The answer is a resounding yes! We all face trials and pain and suffering. The scale of it is not important. It could be a bully at school, an abusive or cruel parent, discrimination on the workplace, a troubled child, a difficult marriage, the loss of a loved one…. There is no shortage of fire for the furnace. What matters is our response to the fire.

To endure it and come out the other side stronger and without hate in your heart, takes character. The furnace can also force us to clarify who we really are at the very core, what is really important to us and why we are here. What is our uniqueness, our gift to the world, our passion, our purpose? And finally, on that twin foundation of character and clarity of purpose, we humbly offer ourselves in the service of others. The last step is crucial. Without service we may be great survivors but not great leaders.

I’ve had my share of hard knocks, nothing catastrophic or even uncommon, but I have paid close attention to the lessons in every trial no matter how small. I believe I am at a point where I am now beginning to have clarity about what my gift is and the humility to offer it up in service. It has taken half a lifetime in the furnace, but better late than never. This blog is certainly a part of that journey and I’m excited to see where it takes me!

My friends, don’t waste your pain in self-pity and complaining. Transform it. Use it. Become the leader you were born to be! Only you can do you! Arise and shine!

Joyfully,

Copyright 2017, Matik Nicholls

Posted on

The #1 Exit Strategy From Your Hectic Life

Wake up, get the kids ready, dress, eat, drop the kids to school, rush to work, check emails, juggle meetings, make phonecalls, squeeze in some deskwork, stop in the grocery, rush home, supervise homework, prepare dinner, eat, get the kids in bed, crash…. rinse, repeat. Sounds familiar?

This is what many of my days look like and I’m guessing that I’m not alone. Recently though, I have had some measure of breakthrough in changing how this feels for me. I’m still very productive but less hassled.

Ready for it? Here is the game changer…. We typically focus on doing more with less but instead we should be focusing on doing less, period. I know, I know, it sounds too simple. I mean, a 5 year old could have told me that, Matik! Well, the key is to be absolutely ruthless and radical about this. You see strategies that focus on tricks and tips may give success but it’s limited and usually not lasting. Lasting solutions (for anything) are usually aimed at the underlying thinking that shapes all we do.

In this case, radical change comes through a commitment to challenging every assumption about what you do and why by asking two questions  about EVERY SINGLE THING YOU DO:

  1. Do I really need to do this?
  2. Do I really need to do it this way?

When you ask yourself these questions, your mind is going to quickly say, “Of course I need to do this because XYZ or, this is the only way it will work!” It’s at this point you have to ask yourself, “Why?” Keep asking it repeatedly as your mind will keep justifying your busy schedule until you force yourself to challenge your deepest assumptions.

This week I had a tele-class at 8pm. My daughter came at 7:55pm and said, “Dad can you make me some Cream of Wheat?” Immediately, my stress levels rose. “I have 5 mins! If I wait until after the class, she would go to bed too late. I have to do this now!” I rushed downstairs and then I asked myself, “Do I really need to do this?”  “No, I don’t! She is almost 12 years old, she can do this!”

I called her into the kitchen, told her she was old enough to do it herself, explained what to do and went back to my class. Now the challenge here is dealing with the objections that your mind might raise if you have been accustomed to operating in a particular way. “Is this safe? Am I being a bad parent? Am I expecting too much of her?” If you want to exit the spin cycle you have to be ruthless and do ONLY what you absolutely NEED to do.

Here’s another example. I’m currently preparing to go on vacation and already I’m dreading returning to hundreds of emails and spending the first few days frustrated with dealing with the backlog. Then I asked the magic question and had the radical thought, “What about if I just never read those emails?”  The very next day I was listening to a podcast from Michael Hyatt on “How To Vacation Like A Pro” and he said that he deletes all emails received during vacation and leaves an auto-reply that lets people know that and why. It was like a message from above! Guess what I’m going to be doing from now on?!

The possibilities are endless. I have a friend who eliminated ironing by using a dry cleaner. If you want some more examples and insights to really challenge your paradigm, I highly recommend this resource and the book by Tim Ferriss: https://fourhourworkweek.com/

Start masterminding your exit strategy today for a less hectic life tomorrow!

Joyfully,

Copyright 2017, Matik Nicholls