Wake up, get the kids ready, dress, eat, drop the kids to school, rush to work, check emails, juggle meetings, make phonecalls, squeeze in some deskwork, stop in the grocery, rush home, supervise homework, prepare dinner, eat, get the kids in bed, crash…. rinse, repeat. Sounds familiar?
This is what many of my days look like and I’m guessing that I’m not alone. Recently though, I have had some measure of breakthrough in changing how this feels for me. I’m still very productive but less hassled.
Ready for it? Here is the game changer…. We typically focus on doing more with less but instead we should be focusing on doing less, period. I know, I know, it sounds too simple. I mean, a 5 year old could have told me that, Matik! Well, the key is to be absolutely ruthless and radical about this. You see strategies that focus on tricks and tips may give success but it’s limited and usually not lasting. Lasting solutions (for anything) are usually aimed at the underlying thinking that shapes all we do.
In this case, radical change comes through a commitment to challenging every assumption about what you do and why by asking two questions about EVERY SINGLE THING YOU DO:
- Do I really need to do this?
- Do I really need to do it this way?
When you ask yourself these questions, your mind is going to quickly say, “Of course I need to do this because XYZ or, this is the only way it will work!” It’s at this point you have to ask yourself, “Why?” Keep asking it repeatedly as your mind will keep justifying your busy schedule until you force yourself to challenge your deepest assumptions.
This week I had a tele-class at 8pm. My daughter came at 7:55pm and said, “Dad can you make me some Cream of Wheat?” Immediately, my stress levels rose. “I have 5 mins! If I wait until after the class, she would go to bed too late. I have to do this now!” I rushed downstairs and then I asked myself, “Do I really need to do this?” “No, I don’t! She is almost 12 years old, she can do this!”
I called her into the kitchen, told her she was old enough to do it herself, explained what to do and went back to my class. Now the challenge here is dealing with the objections that your mind might raise if you have been accustomed to operating in a particular way. “Is this safe? Am I being a bad parent? Am I expecting too much of her?” If you want to exit the spin cycle you have to be ruthless and do ONLY what you absolutely NEED to do.
Here’s another example. I’m currently preparing to go on vacation and already I’m dreading returning to hundreds of emails and spending the first few days frustrated with dealing with the backlog. Then I asked the magic question and had the radical thought, “What about if I just never read those emails?” The very next day I was listening to a podcast from Michael Hyatt on “How To Vacation Like A Pro” and he said that he deletes all emails received during vacation and leaves an auto-reply that lets people know that and why. It was like a message from above! Guess what I’m going to be doing from now on?!
The possibilities are endless. I have a friend who eliminated ironing by using a dry cleaner. If you want some more examples and insights to really challenge your paradigm, I highly recommend this resource and the book by Tim Ferriss: https://fourhourworkweek.com/
Start masterminding your exit strategy today for a less hectic life tomorrow!
Joyfully,
Copyright 2017, Matik Nicholls
Great read, luv it. This reminded me of an evening I had 127 whatsapp messages from one group. I simply messaged “127 messages, you all had a busy day, lol. So sorry guys don’t have time to read all that. If there’s anything you think I really need to know please message me directly, luv u all, have a wonderful night”. I’ve discovered that there are some things we waste time knowing/reading and it adds absolutely no value to our lives.
That’s right Fermeda! Thanks for sharing!
Yesterday at a funeral (yes we often get a lot of gems there) the priest was speaking about how busy we get and about prioritising. He said activities should be placed in 3 categories and treated with accordingly 1. MUST do 2. SHOULD do and 3. COULD do. He continued to highlight that often we mix them up and mistake the could do for must do etc. I am guilty of feeling could do means I should do or must do so it fell in my garden. I hope together with Matik’s wonderful, thought provoking blog we are well on our way in this information overload, always on the clock environment to regain control of our lives and joy.
Excellent insight Donna. Here’s to the joy of doing less!