It’s carnival Monday and I am in the cold mountains around Lake Tahoe, California, USA. For those who don’t know, carnival in Trinidad and Tobago is a festival where we dress up and dance in the streets for two full days. It is full of vibrancy, music, revelry and wild abandon. I love it! So why am I, a full-blooded Trinbagonian, in Lake Tahoe?
Well to answer that question I first wish to say why I’m not in Lake Tahoe. I’m not here because a pastor said I should not be involved in carnival. I’m not here because the bible speaks against revelry, debauchery, drunkenness and licentiousness (big words that essentially mean abandoning one’s self-restraint in the enjoyment of sensual pleasure). I’m not here because some Christians might judge me and say that I am Christian yet I’m taking part in carnival.
You see, I came to a realization many years ago that I am not interested in conformation and God is not in that business either. I realized that I cannot live a life where I act in a manner that is at odds with my desires and what gives me pleasure. That path never resulted in more joy or a better internal quality of life. It was a tortured existence. All authentic change must be driven by a deep internal desire on the inside (transformation) not pressure to conform from the outside. It must be that we are aiming for something more pleasurable, something better, something of greater value to the quality of our life if we are to really change.
This is exactly what the bible teaches by the way. It is said in many different ways; “Repent for the kingdom of God is here”, “Lose your life to gain eternal life”, “Sell all you have and buy the pearl”, “Do not be conformed to the world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind”. The theme is immutable, there is not virtue in asceticism and self-denial UNLESS there is a greater prize that you are aiming for.
If I am going to change and leave behind something good, it must be for something better. Hence, why I am here at Lake Tahoe. I am on a mission, a retreat and an adventure. I am taking a step back from the noise to regenerate, introspect and draw closer to God. I am going to try skiing for the first time! I am going to dedicate some focused time to my writing. I am going to a Bethel Music conference to soak in the richness of the love of God and fan the flames of my love for Christ.
Each of these things bring me joy. I am excited! It is a transformation of joy to be here! To those back on my beautiful twin-island taking part in the festivities I say, enjoy! I still believe that carnival is beautiful. I chose one of my favourite carnival photos for this post. I took it at Panorama in 2010. The vibrance, creativity and primal beauty that shines at carnival is from the divine. Many of my friends, whom I admire, take part every year without being sexually promiscuous or drinking themselves into a stupor.
I hope to send some photos and updates from my adventures over these next weeks. Do what you love my friends, live your truth without shame! That’s what I am doing in Lake Tahoe!
Joyfully,
Copyright 2018, Matik Nicholls.